Blast Effects

"Is that a promise you can keep, husband?"

"I promise. Nothing like this will ever happen again, I swear."

"OK, good. Just one more thing. One of the reasons this happened, I think, is that we let our romantic life go stale. This is a problem for both of us, I'm not just putting it on you.

"Look at me, Alan, while I undress. When we got married, you practically drooled on these tits. You would cuddle with my ass. Have I changed so much that you aren't interested? Not anymore?"

"Gina! No! You're beautiful. Not exactly the same, but still so hot. Notice my reaction. See, I'm totally stiff. It's not your body, not at all."

"What, then?"

"Remember the last time we had sex? Instead of being, uh, interested, like you are now, instead you seemed annoyed. You said, 'alright,' but with kind of an edge in your voice. And then, after just a couple of minutes, 'Are you done yet?' After hearing that, I felt (I don't know) unwelcome, maybe. I just pulled out and, uh, deflated.

"Gina, I realize that after what I did with her that you have no reason to forgive me. But, please, if you want to renew our sexual relationship, I need your help. If my interest is annoying you, then just tell me before we start. There will be other times, I hope, when you will want me.

"I love you, Gina. That last thing I want to be is unwelcome and annoying to you. That feeling is like a brick in my gut. Does that make sense?"

"It makes perfect sense, Alan. I promise, I will do better. And since I'm already naked, take me to bed now so I can show you that. Please!"

† July 14, 2023.

"Pam, after that night my parents were completely loving and affectionate towards each other. I could tell they continued having lots of sex, and they almost never fought or even argued.

"One of the things I still love about Nate is how affectionate and sweet he is, first with me and now with you and your baby."

"That's quite a story, Julie. It's amazing that you can replay all that overheard conversation from years ago."

"Well, as you can tell, that night made a big impression on me. It totally changed how I thought about my parents. I ended up loving them more as real adults making an effort to be better people.

"My mom put aside her jealousy that night, and we all thrived because of that. That was the lesson for me.

"It's so unfair they died so young--not long after I married Nate. I miss them so much."

"They were wonderful in-laws, I miss them too."

"NATE! You brat! You weren't supposed to hear that story."

"Shh. Don't wake Tilda. Now I know why you haven't been jealous, Julie. I love Pam; you know I do, but I still love you, too."

"Now that we're all talking, I'd like to say something to you both. You know I'm dealing with depression, and I can't take any drugs for relief. I'm just unable right now to feel sexy, even though I'm healed from the surgery, the c-section.

"I love both of you to pieces. While I'm on the sidelines, Julie, I want you to pick up the slack with Nate. Fuck his brains out, often, until I can be back in action.

"Can you do that for me, Julie, Nate?"

Julie, sounding reluctant, "Oh, I don't know..."

"Julie, don't give me that bullshit. Just say yes."

"Pam, I'll do it, uh, I'll do Nate on one condition. You have to be with us. Every time that we have had sex, we're all in the same bed. We're together. If you're in the room with us, I can relax. I can just enjoy being loving.

"I won't feel right being alone and naked with Nate--now that he's married to you, Pam. Don't try and puzzle out my reasons, it's based on feelings, not logic. I just want to be with the both of you so long as you're willing to share him with me.

"You know my sexual desires still include feasting my eyes on your fabulous titties. Just leave it there, Pam, OK?"

"OK, Julie, have it your way. For now, then, I'll bring the tits, you bring the pussy, and I guess we know what Nate will be bringing."

"Coffee? Cookies?"

In unison, the women hissed, "FUCK YOU, NATE!"

"Asshole!" added Julie.

Just then, Tilda woke and began moving and making tiny cries.

"Tilda wants my titties, too. Hang on, baby, Mommie's here."

"Ooh, Pam, can I have a sip?"

"Julie, you must be kidding. Really?"

"I always wondered. Please?"

"OK, I guess. You can see, righty's available."

"Mm. It's sweet!"

"Glad you approve. Listen, there may be times when Tilda's consumption doesn't match production. That is, sometimes I produce so much that my tits get distended and painful. If that happens and I can't express enough of my milk into bottles, then I might be asking either or both of you for relief. In other words, nursing me."

"Good to know, sweetie."

Chapter 16: Medical Floor

† Saturday, November 11, 2023.

He barely touched the sandwich on his tray. Meanwhile, Theo was giving himself another beating, this time mental instead of physical.

"I have never seen that kind of look on Sylvie's face. So cold and grim! And I deserved it. The very first words out of my mouth should have been an apology. Followed by 'how are you?' and 'how is our child?'--but I just lay there like a lump.

"I thought things were so bad for us that leaving them was necessary. I was not thinking straight. I didn't realize how much worse could it all get, and getting the shit beat out of me is only the start. And now, I'm losing my family!"

Theo's mood continued to spiral lower and lower. He was weeping constantly now.

Parker Davis, RN, was assigned to Theo, among several other patients. The hospitalist (MD) on Theo's case had asked that his eating be recorded, due to his being obviously undernourished--aggravating his poor overall current condition.

"Hi, Theo, I'm Parker Davis, and I'm your nurse. You can remember me because I have two last names. I'm glad you're awake and with us. I'm just going to check if you're oriented..."

He stopped abruptly when he got a look at Theo's face. He couldn't remember seeing such a dire expression on a patient's face: such a mask of hopelessness and depression.

"Oh, Theo, can you tell me what's wrong? No? Let me start with simple things. Are you warm enough? Good. How about your pain, um, your physical pain? We use a one to ten scale where two is uncomfortable and eight is horrible. OK, I'll put seven on your chart. Understand, I need the doctor to prescribe, but after awakening you should be getting something strong soon.

"Now I see that you're not eating much. I know all the jokes about hospital food, but a sandwich should have been within their competence. Is your stomach giving you trouble?"

"No. I don't, uh, sorry, not interested."

"Forgive me, but you look undernourished. You have an appetite, but you don't want the food. Is that it?"

"Yeah. It's just..."

"OK, somebody will come by to take away the tray in a while. You can have them leave it if you want to have more later. But, Theo, you will feel less pain if you can get some calories in. And we have some snacks at our desk, too. I'll do what I can to expedite your pain meds.

"I'm Parker, remember? It's my job to help you get better, even though you're feeling so sad right now. If there's something I can do to help, just let me know. Rub the little white button there and like a genie I will magically appear. Eventually."

Making no headway against Theo's black mood, with a small smile he left him to rest.

Back at the desk, Parker told his colleagues, "That guy is really beaten down, and not because of his injuries. I'm going to request an evaluation. He's not emotionally stable."

Mrs. Garnier?

"You're Theo's wife? I'm Parker Davis, his nurse. Before you see him, can I have a word?"

He explained his concerns to her.

"I'm not a psychologist; I'm just going on my training and my experience. I'm trying to get some kind of review arranged for him, but it's a Saturday. My opinion is that he is very fragile. Not from his injuries but from some other reason that has made him sad, depressed, hopeless... I'm running out of non-medical (but descriptive) words for him.

"Sylvia, sorry, Sylvie, he's pretty impaired now. I don't know the reasons, but I hope there is some way for you to improve his mood."

She thanked and left the nurse. Frustrated and filled with misgivings, she walked into his room past the (unoccupied) other bed.

If anything, Theo looked even worse. With all of his physical injuries still apparent, his obvious poor emotional state painted a truly poor picture.

"You came back! Sylvie, I'm sorry!"

"I said that I would. You want to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"You found the note?"

She nodded.

"That's what I was thinking. And then, on the street, I found out. Everything could get even worse, and it did. I was thinking of throwing myself into the freezing river when I got jumped. And here we are. Is Cosette OK?"

"No, idiot, she is not OK. She's worried sick that her father is gone forever. And she had realized we were being evicted--that was before you left us. How could you possibly imagine that we would be better off without you?"

"The SNAP and the..."

"Fuck! Will you stop! Theo, you're so depressed you aren't thinking straight. As bad as things have become, you leaving us makes everything WORSE. You fool, Sette needs her daddy, and I need my husband.

Now I want you to listen to me, as if your life depends on what I have to say. Because it does. Do you love Cosette?"

"I do, yes."

"Do you love ME?"

"I love you, so much. I'm so sorry."

"NO! Stop fucking apologizing. Try again."

"Sylvie, I love you. To the moon, to the planets, to the stars."

It was a phrase he had put in their wedding vows, not heard from him in many years. So now they were both crying.

"Oh, God, Theo, I love you too. Look, I need to catch you up on events. Today is Saturday, yeah. You were discovered by the police last night.

"Now listen to me carefully. After you left us, Plackett destroyed himself and his house in a meth lab explosion, which then burned down our house. That was the previous night, Thursday evening.

"Hey, stop! Look into my eyes and LISTEN to me, Theo. Cosette and I are safe and sheltered. We're safe. Safe and sheltered. Are you listening? Do you understand? Good.

"We WILL get through all of this. Look at me, these are new clothes I'm wearing. The old medical debts are going to be cleared. With a clean employment history, you are going to get a new job. You are going to be safe, solvent, and happy, with your family all around you.

"And our miraculous daughter will grow up to say, 'I owe all my success to my wonderful parents who helped me be the woman I am today.'

"This isn't dreaming, Theo. At our family's very worst moment, an angel has appeared to save us."

"I hear you--but I don't understand, Syl. How is all this possible?"

"You'll find out when you get out of here. Your will see that our angel is a real flesh and blood person who has all the resources needed to overcome our obstacles."

"But..."

"No, your only job right now is to get better. Parker is here to help you heal; that's what nurses do. I'll come back to visit at this time tomorrow. If it's permitted, I will bring Sette with me so you can start rebuilding that relationship.

"I'm going to leave you now, but first..."

She leaned over the side of the bed and carefully kissed him with only a little pressure, considering his facial bruises, swollen lip, and missing tooth. But expressed in that kiss was all her love and caring.

Then she picked up his non-bandaged hand and put it directly on her breast.

"And if you follow the plan for healing and you stay positive, then you can play with my tits. Deal?"

"Yes, dear."

"Excellent. Well said. See you tomorrow, my love."

She noted as she left that Theo's battered face now showed a small smile. On her way out she gave a "thumbs up" to Parker.

Chapter 17: You Left!

† Thursday, November 15, 2023.

It was mid-morning in Julie Kaiser's kitchen. She'd gone on to work after dropping Sylvie at her daycare job. Cosette was watching her father across the table.

"How are you feeling, Daddy?"

"I'm better today. There's less congestion, I'm breathing more easily."

"But you still have a lot of bruises. They're just in stranger colors."

"Sette, I'm confused. Shouldn't you be at school?"

"Mom called them Friday morning and told them I'd be gone for at least this week. Not that it matters."

"School doesn't matter? Why?"

"You know I'm assigned to the Fifth Grade but I'm doing High School studies. I'm studying algebra while in my class they're teaching fractions!"

Continuing in a grim and bitter tone, "We don't need to talk about school right now. You left us! Then our house burned down. Now you're back, but, uh, battered. Except for Julie, Mom and I would be homeless now! And you're asking me about school?"

Angered, Cosette stood so abruptly that her chair tipped backwards and clattered to the floor behind her.

"No! Just leave me alone!"

She fled the kitchen, then he heard her bedroom door slam.

He put his head in his hands.

"Fuck me!"

Half an hour later, he was at his daughter's door, knocking gently.

"Cosette, I'm sorry. Can we talk?"

"Come in."

He found her seated on the edge of the queen-sized bed. Her blue eyes were glistening, but her face wasn't wet. After living there for only a couple of days, almost nothing about the room showed that a young girl was living there. The only exception: a floppy and dirty stuffed rabbit resting on the pillow.

"I know you're upset with me, and I know why. I have a lot of regrets about the past ten days."

"Why did you leave us? Because of Mom? Because of ME?"

"Oh, HELL no. Sette, I love you. I love Sylvie. That hasn't changed. That will NEVER change. The truth is, oh, this is hard to say... I felt I was failing you. Both of you. I was out of work for so long. I believed that, after the eviction, you would qualify for more aid if I was gone. I was so depressed I wasn't making good judgments."

"You thought we were better off without you?"

"That's right."

"And then you wandered around in the snowy weather without shelter or food until you were beaten and robbed and left for dead. Because you thought that was BETTER?"

"Yeah, correct."

"Oh. Then the wrong Garnier is going to elementary school. Mom let you come back? Julie let you into her house? Obviously, they did. I'm not sure why. Do you know? No. Wait, let me think."

She stood up and started pacing. It was a striking scene, a frowning young girl pacing back and forth trying to put her thoughts in order.

"Do you know why our house burned down?"

"It was burning debris from the blast next door."

"Yes, that assh--jerk Plackett's meth lab exploded. He was a nasty solitary man with no friends, no family. I've been reading Dickens, books like Oliver Twist and David Copperfield. These are stories of young men who are loving and honorable in the face of terrible circumstances. They are heroes despite adversity.

"I don't need new clothes and stuff. I need my hero dad. I need you to be brave. If you run away again, it will hurt us both. For the rest of our lives."

"Cosette, I..."

"Stop! Just listen. Mom was, she was, shattered, when you left. When you left her with a note. A note! She tried to make excuses for you, but I knew something was so wrong. And then there was the explosion, and the fire, and she's helping me escape. She even had me grab my bunny over there, trying to help me stay calm.

"We're out there on the sidewalk, in the snow, watching the fire eat everything we owned. Mom is still holding herself together and keeping me safe. That's being brave, Dad. That's being my hero. Then Julie came outside to help us. Later she helped to find you in the hospital and to bring you here. She's my hero, too."

"Syl calls her an angel."

"Of course she is. So, Dad, what's it going to be? Father or fuck-up?"

Theo winced under her glare, and not just because of her language.

"I promise you, Cosette, never again. I cannot imagine how Sylvie found enough grace in her heart to forgive me and accept me back. I hope over time you will accept that this whole, uh, episode, is over... And you, too, will forgive me.

"But please, daughter, as wonderfully intelligent as you are, I think you are missing something. You are so young. You have not yet experienced real poverty or tragedy, even though we have struggled recently. You've always been fed, clothed, and taken care of by your family. You aren't living in the streets of 19th century England.

"And, Sette, you haven't had to fight the misery of depression. I'm talking about a diagnosis, not just about feeling sad. I should have been seeking help instead of trying to 'suck it up' with macho bullshit.

"I'm not going to defend or justify my behavior to you. I'm just asking, in fairness, that you give me a little leniency while I try to get some help--some professional help."

"Daddy, I'm sorry. I love you."

After they hugged, "Before I was discharged, the hospital offered me some counseling resources. We'll see if they can help me."

Chapter 18: Thanksgiving Time

† Tuesday, November 20, 2023.

In her kitchen, Julie was collaborating with Sylvie on their grocery list.

"Since you two are originally from Quebec and I'm a terrifyingly bad cook, we've agreed not to do a turkey for Thanksgiving. I'm thinking a 3 lb. glazed ham would work. We're going to have Nate, Pam, you, Theo, Sette, and me. Naturally, at six months Tilda is still nursing, but Pam should have a good appetite."

When they completed the list, Julie put down her pen and spoke directly.

"Sylvie, I need to bring up a sensitive subject. After we finish the feast on Thursday, Tilda and her parents are spending the next two nights here."

"Oh, should I help you clean up the fourth bedroom upstairs?"

"No. Actually, they will stay in the master with me. Um, let me say, ah, intentionally, I did not use the word sleep."

"I don't... Oh, wait, you mean--"

"Yes. Indeed. All three of us. I love Pam, and I still love Nate, even though we are divorced now. So, they have been staying with me here frequently, since well before the baby. So, is this going to be a problem?"

"Wow. Oh, this is, uh, well, jeez. It's unusual for a woman to get along, uh, that well with their ex. And with his second wife, too. But Julie, well, it's your house and your life. I couldn't possibly have anything to say about what you do. But it will be hard to explain to Theo, and, good grief, to explain to Cosette."

"Um, sorry, but I believe Sette already has some idea. She saw the photos in my room of Pam and Nate and asked me about them. I think she recognized my feelings towards those two, although I was being careful with my words."

"Alright, Julie, you're full of surprises; I've never met anyone quite like you."

"Uh, I'm not sure how to take that. You don't approve?"

"The opposite! You're kind, and smart, and so generous. You're sharing your house with us. And, my god, you're sharing your bed with your ex and his wife! This is off the charts, I don't know, it's crazy. I don't have the right words, Julie, I just..."

Sylvie threw her arms around her and hugged hard. And hugged some more.

In a strained gasp, "OK, Sylvie, I got it, can I breathe..."

"Sorry. So, you DO have a flaw."

"What's that?"

"You need oxygen."

"Oh, that. I guess you like me, then."

"That word 'like' is a pallid wisp of insignificance incapable of describing my feelings. If it was allowed, I'd have my tongue in your mouth and my hands under your bra."