Blerd Lines

Evie laughed out loud, "Omigod, Todd!" She held her chest and bent over. "You are so funny!" she said, catching her breath. She threw her arms around his shoulders and laid her head against his chest. She sighed. "What's wrong with me?"

"Not a thing, as far as I can tell," he said. He cross his arms around her, cautiously at first. Then, as she squeezed him tighter, he followed suit, pulling her in and pressing their bodies together.

"What am I doing out there," she said into his t-shirt, "with these flashy, cocky guys who only care about themselves."

"Hey," Todd said with a little added bass in his voice. "I care about you, you know."

She looked at him, taking him in with a hint of wonder, as one would the world through their first pair of eyeglasses. "You do care about me, don't you," she said thoughtfully. "You always have. I don't know why I never notice." Her eyes turned back to the door (perhaps to ensure that she had, in fact, shut it completely), then to the clothes hamper, where a pair of bright pink panties dangled from beneath the lid, giving the hamper the look of a hungry dog with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

Evie gave Todd a knowing look, "Somebody's curious," she said.

Todd shrugged, nowhere as embarrassed as he ought to have been.

"Well, you know what they say," Evie continued, "Curiosity gets the cat."

Todd nodded in approval; it was a joke he himself would have made.

"You like that, do you?" Evie said. She smirked, and stared him deep in the eye, and kicked off her shoes. She held his gaze as she unfastened the top button, then the zipper of her shorts; she held it as she wriggled those shorts past her hips and let them fall to the floor. She held it as a challenge, daring him not to look down, not to give in to his curiosity.

He accepted the challenge, giving her no visible sign of how much he wanted to drop his eyes, to re-acquaint himself with that body of hers. He also wanted this moment to last, and to look at her near-naked body full on (rather than in a series of neck-breaking glances when he thought she wasn't watching) would be the definite end of whatever was happening here.

Evie upped the ante, quickly, decisively removing her panties in three sweeping moves, all without looking away. She picked them up and twisted them into a loose, cotton braid.

Todd held still as Evie mischievously lifted that braid and stretched it across his face like a surgical mask. Only then did he close his eyes and succumb to his other senses: the smell, the feel, the taste of her heat, her excitement nearing the height of his own. He took hold of her panties and breathed her ether, so intoxicated he was by her that he hardly noticed that his own pants zipper had come undone, that the pants themselves have fallen off his waist; or that he was sitting atop the toilet lid now, with Evie on her knees, posted between his legs.

She reached in his boxers and pulled out his cock, and gave it a none-too-cool look of excitement. Then her smile fell into a look of precious concern.

"Omigod, Todd," she said, wrapping her grip around him and slowly stroking. "I don't know if I can take all this." She looked up at him nervously, bit her lip, and kept her fingers moving.

"It's OK," he told her. "I believe in you."

Evie's smile returned, imbued with Todd's confidence in her. "Thank you, Todd," she said.

She slipped her free hand down between her legs, reaching inside of her. She tried and failed to suppress her moaning, her sped up breathing, sporadic cries of Todd's name, her eyes shut tight, one hand spinning on her clit, the other squeezing and jerking Todd's cock in rhythmic intervals.

And then she stopped. She slowly took the hand she used to pleasure herself, and slid those sticky fingers up and down Todd's throbbing cock. She coated him in her wetness, giving as good as she got. Both hands now rubbed him smoothly, swiftly up and down. Todd dropped all pretenses of cool, panting and moaning just as she had moments before, giving in to the pleasure. Evie watched him with a level of concentration that Todd rarely saw in her. And with an uncontainable enthusiasm, she pounced on him.

Todd jumped and swore in shock, his erection enveloped in the warmth of Evie's mouth. With her lips' assistance, Evie waged a full on attack on Todd's arousal, caressing, fondling, swallowing him. Her breathing came in forced fumes through her nostrils, her mouth filled with his split-slathered dick, her lips leaving little room for speech. So that when Todd surprised himself by cooly, almost punitively plunging his cock further down her throat and asking, "You like that, bitch?", all Evie could do was blubber wet, wordless confirmation back into his lap. He stared down at her long, dark hair, draped over him like a dinner napkin. He wove his fingers into strands with both hands, clenching them into fists. At first, he let her lead, and only moved along with her bob. But it wasn't long before he found himself conducting the tempo.

Evie had relinquished control by now, her hands free and grasping for whatever they could: the wall, the sink, the floor. As Todd held onto her, she alternated between slapping at his lifted hips in resistance, and holding on to them tighter, spreading her tongue wider, so that his cock could reach as far back as possible. And when she finally released him, coughing, tossing her head back, gasping and grateful, it was only because he had allowed it.

Todd held her by the hair and looked down into her face, red and smeared, her eyes wide and pleading. She breathed deeply, licking at her quivering lips.

"Listen," he said in a cruel, controlled tone, "I'm going to cum in your mouth now."

Evie nodding fervently. "Please?" she moaned.

"'Please,' what?" he asked.

"Please, Todd," she panted, her tongue outstretched, "Please cum in my mouth."

5.

Todd lost himself in uninhibited ecstasy, his words reduced to sputtering moans; his whole body clenched in triggered anticipation. He closed his eyes and held his breath, braced himself, ready to...

"Knock knock," a voice called from behind the door, followed by an actual knock.

Todd's eyes popped open, the bathroom coming back into view. The den of secrecy and seduction had vanished; it had returned to its utilitarian simplicity, with its pale pastel decor and feminine clutter. He was aware of himself again, suddenly too big and too male for his surroundings. Nothing illustrated this more than the sight of himself on the toilet, pants around his ankles, legs splayed, with a hard-on in one hand, the other clutching a balled up pair of women's underwear.

He made to speak up (to say what, exactly, he didn't know), but then said nothing in order not to scare anyone. After all, there was a perfectly good guest bathroom downstairs; what reason did he have to be so deep in the house, in what was obviously a private space? Of course, if he didn't say anything, the door would just open; how long could he really hide? And how long had he not been alone in the house...?

"Knock, knock, knock," the voice repeated, speaking louder, knocking louder. "Time's up!"

"Just a second," Todd said, overly-friendly, doing his best to sound non-threatening. He hurriedly pulled up his pants, resheathing his surprisingly still-erect penis. He rushed to the door and took a quick breath before turning the knob, shoving Evie's underwear in his pants pocket only a split second before he saw her face.

"Evie! Hey!" he said, his tone way passed non-threatening into downright neighborly.

"Evie's not here," Dawn said. She neither jumped at, nor back from the sight of a strange man emerging from the bathroom that she apparently shared with her sister. "Which begs the question: What are you doing here?" She must have just come from the court, her face flush and her cornrows frayed. Still in her warm-ups, she'd ditched the jacket at some point. Her t-shirt was soaked through with sweat around the collar.

"I was," Todd began, clearing his throat. "I was just using the bathroom."

"Oh?" Dawn said. "Something wrong with the one downstairs?" It was a rhetorical question, of course, but she nonetheless let him squirm in search of an answer. "You, uh, remember to wash your hands, at least?"

"Of course!" Todd said. He ran cold at the thought that maybe Dawn looked unsurprised to see him because she'd been standing outside the bathroom long enough to account for the bulge (or bulges) in his pants and the beads of sweat on his forehead; to explain why she hadn't heard a flush before he'd come to the door, and how he hadn't wash his hands, even if he had used the soap.

"Where'd my sister go?" Dawn asked.

"She went out," Todd said, deflating, returning to ground level. "She went out with some guy named Malik?"

"Ugh," Dawn groaned, rolling her eyes. "That guy."

Todd gave her a pleased, clever smile. "You know, 'mal' comes from the Latin..."

"So she just left you here?" Dawn interrupted, scratching her armpit.

"She'll be back!" Todd insisted, suddenly defensive. "We still have to work on her paper, so, you know."

Dawn narrowed her eyes at him. "Yeah, I know," she said. She nodded toward the bathroom. "Anyway, I gotta hop in there, so..."

"Oh sorry, of coure..." Todd said. He shuffled out of the way, as the two of them switch places.

"You're more than welcome to wait for my sister..."

"Thanks! She should be..."

"Downstairs," Dawn said, closing the door in Todd face.

6.

On TV, two women, one blonde, one brunette, clashed atop a snow-capped mountain in the middle of a storm. They hurled screaming balls of fire and light at one another that exploded on impact around them, narrowly missing each time. They defied gravity, leaping vertically from boulder to branch, backflipping and flinging one another long distances. The ground shook beneath them when they landed, as though the Earth itself threatened to come asunder no matter who won this battle.

The brunette, dressed in all black, with eyes and lipstick to match, made her way to an object sticking out of the ground. The other - who wore an impractically elegant emerald gown, and flowing blonde, almost white, hair - raced after her, but was too late. The Dark one was the first to arrive, and she drew from the snow a long, dazzling broadsword. But before she could celebrate, she was tackled by the Light, who knocked the sword away, igniting a final scramble. And despite their obvious other-wordly abilities - to soar above the storm, to conjure and destroy life with their fingertips - the women were reduced to rolling on the ground, grunting, and clawing for weapons in the dirt.

Todd knew, of course, how this conflict would end, had seen this very story play out countless times over the years, but he was no less engaged. He watched from the comfort of the living room couch, leaning toward the TV screen, anxiously rolling the remote control around in his hand. As the combatants heaved and cursed at one another, creeping closer to their prize, spilling out of their vaguely medieval garb, he recited their final words to one another along with them.

It was the Light one who captured the broadsword first, trembling at the weight of it in her hands. She aimed at the charging Dark, but stopped short of running her through.

"Hera, stop!" she shouted above the thunder and wind. "I don't want to hurt you..."

" '...Even if it is what needs to be done,'" Todd accompanied with dramatic flourish.

Hera stared at the sword aimed at her heart. Her black snarl twisted into an insidious grin. "That's the difference between us, dear sister!" she said.

And then her eyes lit up and emitted a radiant glow; her sister's eyes followed in kind. The mountain shook, and the music crescendoed, as both women were swept up in the all-encompassing power. When it was over and the light dimmed, and they were left in the shock and silence, the Dark one opened her eyes, blinking hard, unable to fathom what she saw before her. She stared at her unfamiliar hands, then back at the Light one - that is, at herself - still wielding the blade... and that snarl.

"Hera?" she pleaded with her sister's mouth,"By the Titans, what have you done to us?"

Her own eyes narrowed back at her.

"What you were not willing to do yourself..." Hera said, before plunging the sword into her own body, to the sound of her sister's screams.

"'...What needed to be done,'" Todd said, leaning back into the couch. "Whew."

"Dude. That was pretty cold," Dawn said, startling Todd, who hadn't heard her enter the room.

Todd fumbled and flipped through channels, and quickly landed on a basketball game. He tossed the remote on the table with finality. "Commercial," he said over his shoulder, by way of explanation.

"Yeah?" she said with a snicker. "Big Jacksonville State fan are you?"

"You bet," he said nervously, squinting at the TV screen. "Go... Gamecocks?"

"Right," Dawn replied. She was fresh out the shower. She wore a towel wrapped around her head like a turban, a clean pair of cotton shorts, and a sleeveless white t that clung to the remaining wet spots on her back and around her breasts. When she plopped herself on the couch next to Todd, she emitted a waft of sweet, floral body wash his way. The scent transported him back to the bathroom, and to his illicit daydream, and he remembered the contraband in his pocket and grew hard despite himself. It didn't help that Dawn wasn't wearing a bra, and either didn't know, or didn't care about her visible nipples, hard and conspicuous. Though she hadn't been wearing make-up before, she looked renewed now, nonetheless, her face scrubbed and polished. It all made for the softest vision of Dawn that Todd had seen all day; it was also the most she had looked like Evie.

He took out his phone and once again checked for any text messages. Nothing.

"Still waiting, huh?" Dawn asked flatly.

"She should be back soon," Todd said, unconvinced. He returned to feigning interest in the game.

"Dude, I actually know one of those guys, believe it or not," Dawn said. "Number 22. Met him at a basketball camp I went to a few years ago. Hooked up a couple of times."

Todd examined the players or the first time. They were all tall, of course, nearly all of them Black, and in their own ways, all reminded him of Malik. He recalled the sight of the diamond encrusted interloper taking up the doorway, how he'd filled the room like smoke and swept Evie off effortlessly, with little concern for rejection.

"Is that right," Todd said through gritted teeth.

"He was pretty decent, I guess," she continued. "Had some skills. He knew how to move. No heart, though. And that's what really, matters. Lotta people forget that on their way to trying to be somebody."

Number 22 made a fast break down the court and dunked the ball uncontested, drinking in the cheers of many in the crowd.

"You mind if I ask you a question?" Todd asked.

"You just did," Dawn said.

Todd gave her an amused nod. "Follow-up question, then."

"Go for it."

"What's the appeal of guys like that?" he asked.

"Guys like...?" she asked. She appeared to really consider his question more so than her answer; that, it seemed, she had already figured out.

Todd squirmed, already regretting that he asked. He vaguely gestured at #22. "What makes him, for instance," he fished, "I don't know... better, than me, I guess?"

"He's not," she said quickly.

Todd grinned winningly. "Well, thanks, but..."

"Not a compliment," Dawn said. "Or an insult, either, I guess." She shrugged. "I dunno. I just don't see much of a difference between you two. Any of you."

Todd's pride turned to puzzlement, and perhaps offense. He tread lightly. "I mean, I wouldn't say there's no difference. I for one don't..."

"'Don't' what?" Dawn said, "'Don't' want to jump my sister?"

"What? No!" Todd protested, backing away, flustered by the bluntness of the question. "And anyway, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Dude, c'mon" Dawn said. She reached up and unraveled the towel from around her head to reveal she had taken out her braids. She ran the towel through her scalp, wringing out her dripping curls. "Now, if what you're really asking," she said "is why Evie is out there with him instead of here with you..." She gave her head a last shake and tossed it back, running her fingers through her hair. It cascaded over her shoulders in dark, erratic strands.

"...You'll just have to ask her yourself..." she said in a familiar, saccharine pitch, just a half-octave higher than her actual voice. "Todd." She lifted the subtle scowl in her brow (that Todd hadn't noticed until it was gone, a Dawn-specific difference), and cocked her head to the side to signal her shift to ditziness.

Todd jumped at the sound of "Evie's" voice. The swap had been so seamless, Todd was pressed to wonder, for just a moment, whether he'd been actually talking to Evie impersonating Dawn this whole time. Sure, they were twins, but no pair of anything in this world is completely identical. And if anybody knew Evie's idiosyncrasies, and what made her her, it would be Dawn.

"Ha ha," Todd said. "C'mon, we're not really doing this, are we?"

"Doing what? Todd?" she said in "Evie's" voice. She tousled her hair and gave Todd a wide-eyed stare. "Haven't you been waiting for me all day. Don't you have anything you wanna say?" She squeezed her arms together so that her breasts stuck out to join the conversation.

Todd covered his face, overcome with a mix of embarrassment and arousal. Dawn's "Evie," her exaggeration, the inflections, were dangerously close to the version of Evie in his own head. It was both spooky and sexy enough to compel him to play along.

"OK, 'Evie,'" he said. "Well, first, there's a lot of work left to do on your paper..."

"Omigod, I know!" she said. "And thank you so so much again for doing that for me."

"Well, I wouldn't say I do it for her," Todd said. "That is, for you. It's more of a collaboration..."

"You're such a lifesaver. I don't know how I could'a gotten through school without you." She laid one hand over her heart, and the other on Todd's knee. "You always come through for me. And I am so so grateful."

"Yeah?" Todd laughed nervously. "Couldn't tell from the looks of it."

"What do you mean, Todd?" she asked innocently.

"No, I'm just saying" he said. "You say you're grateful, and everything. But then this Malik guy shows up..."

"What's wrong with Malik?" she asked, pouting. "He's just my friend. Just like you."

"He's not like me, I said!" Todd erupted. Dawn jumped back, a flash of herself returning in her eyes. Todd calmed himself. "Sorry, I just... I mean, I don't think he's a good guy."

"Hm. Not like you right?" Dawn said, somewhere between "Evie's" voice and her own. "You don't even know him."

"I know him enough," Todd said. He found himself swept up in the exchange, stepping out of himself and watching it play out: a version of him and her that could only be the stuff of fantasy (But whose?). "I know him enough to know that guys like him aren't capable of love because they never have to work for it."

They stared at one another, still, and let the word "love" float around them like an agitated bee.

"Oh Todd," she said, pityingly, in her full "Evie," "You have been working for it, too, haven't you?"

Her hand edged upward from Todd's knee to his thigh. And higher.