Blessed Ch. 05: Slow Learning

There was a moment of quiet. "Someone who gets fun perks?"

I flushed in shame, pulling my legs in and resting my head on my knees. "Yeah," I quietly agreed. "Someone who gets fun perks he really doesn't deserve."

"Why don't you deserve them?" There was a genuine question in her voice, but I didn't hear it; only the accusation I aimed at myself.

"Because those perks come from being Blessed, and since I'm not really... since I don't..." I turned my head, resting my temple on my knees and looking to the side. "They're not my perks to have."

Rhaliyah gave a long sigh, then took a few steps and sat down beside me, her arm and leg touching mine. After a long, silent moment, she asked, "Do you really think that Di'ia, or Kyuku, or hells, even Stheskiths or Chio like you only because you're Au'rea's Blessed?" I felt her turn, and though it didn't trigger my 'sense,' I could feel her stare. "Do you think I only like you because of that?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Well... no... I guess not. Though I'm not really so sure Stheskiths or Chio like me in that way." I sat up, glancing at her briefly before staring down at the floor. "But the rest... all the Disciples who've never even talked to me before... they... they..."

"They hear Di'ia bragging about what a hardworking student you are. They hear Kyuku talk about how fun you are to talk to - and tease. They hear me admire your dedication and hard work to learning how to wield a sword. They see you studying with them, eating among them; they see you just being you. Now, do some of them, especially the younger ones, also think a lot about how you are Au'rea's Blessed? Probably. That doesn't mean that they don't still like you for other reasons."

I was flushed again, but for a very different reason. "You... you guys really say all that?" I finally looked over at my lover.

Rhaliyah smiled back at me kindly. "Of course. You might not think much of yourself, but the rest of us aren't so blind to your good qualities." She leaned over, resting her head on my shoulder. "You're a good man, Aaron. Don't think otherwise."

I smiled, my eyes beginning to water. But then I frowned. "But... that doesn't help with the Blessed stuff. I'm not sure I..."

"It doesn't matter."

I froze for a moment. "...What?"

"It doesn't matter, Aaron. You have been blessed by Au'rea, and you've accepted her quest. Regardless of if you 'really are her Blessed or not,' that all is true. And while it is somewhat momentous, you being the Blessed seems to only get the disciples' attention - they actually approach and proposition you because you are a genuinely good person."

I grunted in begrudging agreement. It would be hard to imagine any of the disciples being so... eager about having sex with me if I was actually a crappy person. But still... it didn't change the fact that I was a loser. Dumbass who couldn't stay in college. Couldn't get a real job, so I had to muck out stalls. Never had a girlfriend...

"You're doing it again," Rhaliyah accused.

I glanced over at her. "Doing what?"

She grinned impishly, then kissed my nose. "Thinking." Then, at my rolled eyes, she stood, extending a hand to me. "Come. We still have a good hour of training left." My groan made her giggle. I guess... maybe I did have some good qualities after all?