Blind Faith

"Never let me go." The words came out muffled as she buried her face into his shoulder.

He took another deep breath, and buried his hand gently in the hair on the back of her head. "Never," he promised, holding onto her like a treasure that needed guarding at all costs. "I've got you, Faith.. I've always got you."

--- 3 ---

"I don't know why you're making such a fuss about what to wear when you're only going to spend the day with your brother," Faith's mother sighed, attempting to help her daughter get ready. "There was nothing wrong with the clothes you were already wearing." She paused. "How about the navy blue jeans and the black-and-white striped shirt? You look good in those."

"This is my first time out in months. I want to look my best."

"Hmm.." Her mother mused out loud. "What about the yellow sundress that you like so much?"

"Oh!" Faith chirped up at the suggestion. "Yes, I like that idea. Paired with some thigh-high socks, though. I don't want to get ticks when walking through the tall grass."

"The tall grass? I wish you'd tell me where you two are heading. I don't like when you keep secrets from me." There was a hint of worry in her tone, but then she relented. "Though I am very pleased that you're going outside. You need some natural light. Vitamin D is important."

Faith felt the excitement rise up within her again at the thought of going out. But the clubhouse had always been a sort of secret location - and even though Faith and Noah were both adults know, keeping it that way added to the nostalgia. "We have plans," was all she said, intentionally trying to sound a little mysterious. She could tell that her mother didn't like that answer very much, but she didn't voice any further complaints.

Twenty minutes later, Suzanne placed a soft kiss upon her daughter's cheek. "Call me if you need anything. And behave yourself, okay? Don't do anything reckless."

Faith nodded, letting her fingertips run across the earrings she had chosen to wear. She liked the way the texture of them felt against her skin. Her dress was tied loosely around her waist with a simple white belt, and as for her makeup - she could only hope her mother had followed her instructions and that it looked alright, and not like some sort of tacky elderly lady. She knew how heavy-handed Suzanne could get when using a makeup brush, but she tried to ignore that as best as she could.

It had been four years since grandma passed away, and a few more for grandpa, so the drive up towards her old family house - albeit only fifteen minutes long - felt strangely foreign. The car - Noah's most prized possession - had a leather-clad interior that smelled of new fabric, despite being a few years old now. They made it out of the city limits and started winding through the narrow roads leading further into the forestation surrounding their destination.

"Someone else probably lives there now," Faith commented. She felt dizzy and nervous as they got closer to the home she had spent most of her summers in growing up. But there was an excitement there too.

Noah chuckled quietly. "Yeah, I would assume so. But that's alright. We're not going inside the house, after all."

The sun shone down on Faith with a comforting warmth, piercing through the car windows. It was early June and the heat partly caught her by surprise. Last time she had been outside for any length of time, it had still been really chilly in the mornings. The familiar aroma of wet earth filled the vehicle and reached deep into her lungs. She had always loved the smell. The roadside flowers were starting to come alive too, and she imagined they looked stunning this time of year.

"Mom will be happy you're getting out of the house."

"She will," Faith agreed with a smile, "I could tell already when she helped me get ready. But this isn't for mom. This is for me."

Soon enough, the car slowed down to a halt. "This is it," he announced simply. "I parked a bit further down the road, so that the new house owners don't get suspicious or worried about us loitering around here."

Faith unbuckled her seatbelt and felt around until she found the door handle. Her trainers scraped against the gravel as she opened the door and stepped outside into the warm sunlight. Noah soon found her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before leading her along. She had left her white cane at home. Truthfully, she had not yet learned how to use it properly, and during the first instruction she was given she had barely been paying attention due to being so downcast. But she didn't need it anyways, with Noah holding her hand. The sound of chirping insects all around her gave her a strange sense of calm. She had never been one to be scared of creepy crawlies. Before long, she felt the change from gravel road to woodland soil underfoot. "Can we see the house from here?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, it's just up ahead."

She could hear something in her older brother's voice. "What's the matter?" she asked carefully.

Noah inhaled deeply, then spoke slowly. "I'm really sorry to have to tell you this, but they've painted it red."

"What!?" The tragedy was unspeakable! The strange aquamarine colour that her grandparents had chosen for the house had been almost entirely unique, and now it had been stolen away? "Why would they do that? What a waste.."

Noah chuckled at her reaction, though he had certainly predicted it. "Yeah, I do agree with you there. I suppose not everyone can be quite as eccentric as our grandparents were, though. Some people like things to be ordinary."

"I like extraordinary!" Faith said firmly. "And our grandparents, they were something special. I feel so lucky to have had them in my life. The love they had for each other, it was timeless. I always hoped I would get to experience something like that one day. To feel that kind of passion."

Noah hummed in response.

After a thoughtful moment, Faith added: "But who knows, maybe if I could see the house I would think differently."

"No," Noah said with certainty, clearly smiling. "No, it's pretty ugly now actually."

The woods around them seemed strangely still. Faith knew they were close by - she could tell from the small uphill climb and the way her brother lead her through the brush. After a few minutes, she could hear the pouring sounds of water nearby, accompanied by the scent of moist leaves and moss, and a smile tugged on her lips. "It's really nice out here."

"It's a beautiful day," Noah agreed. A couple of twigs snapped underneath their feet but other than that they moved quietly until they reached the familiar clearing, and the small grove of trees where their makeshift clubhouse once stood. It was neither elaborate nor sophisticated. But it had been built with love and the kind of imagination only children had. And as they approached, Faith stopped in her tracks.

"We're here, aren't we?" The excitement she had felt earlier returned full force.

"Mhm."

Faith hesitated. "And what about the clubhouse? Is it still there?"

Noah took a deep breath. "Sure is, sis. Looking exactly the same as when we left it last time."

"With the branches growing over the roof and all? And all our stuff?"

"All there," Noah insisted, although she could hear it in his voice that he was only pretending for her sake. But it touched her anyway, and brought a smile to her face. "Oh, and.." she could hear the genuine excitement in his voice. "Come!" He hurriedly led her forward, and then took her hand and placed it against a tree. She had to crouch down a little bit to reach, and then gently traced her fingers along the smooth bark, and found the small carving made with grandpa's old pocket knife. Her name. Then Noah's.

Faith felt a strange sense of elation wash over her once more. She crouched there for awhile, running her fingertips along the engraved lettering. "Do you remember when I lost at Monopoly and threw a hissy-fit, knocking the game over and then ran out here to hide? And how you came after me, and I refused to go back because I was so upset - I think I felt guilty for overreacting - so you had to run back to grandma's and fetch me some food and brought it out to me?" The memory made her laugh a little.

"I do," Noah said softly, smiling along with her. He took her hand again, and she could feel his fingers intertwining with her own. It felt so right. "And how grandpa insisted he could make the world's best paper airplanes and spent so much time folding one to perfection, and then it could barely fly!" They laughed together over that memory. Then Faith stood up straight, still holding his hand, and moved into his arms.

"And I remember when dad had left us, and I would cry at night, and you'd come and lie down in my bed to comfort me, even though you were hurting just as bad.." Her voice broke slightly, and her emotions seemed close to the surface now that they had finally returned to the spot where everything had once started for them. She leaned closer against her brother's body and inhaled his scent. "You always took care of me. Always made me feel like I was important and special.. And that you would protect me no matter what happened.." She sighed, and felt a tingling warmth rush through her skin as he held onto her tight. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I used to dream that I would marry you someday. My own brother! How gross!" Faith laughed bitterly. She spoke the words almost as if to test the waters. She wished she could see his face right then, so badly.

Noah chuckled again. Laughing came easy for him. "Come on now, I'm not that gross.."

"That's not what I meant! It's just.. You know? It was silly.." she babbled nervously. Faith suddenly wondered if maybe that wasn't the most appropriate thing to say in a situation like this - but he didn't seem bothered by it, so she relaxed again and allowed herself to just enjoy the moment. Her moment. In his arms. "I really love you, you know?"

"Love you too, sis."

--- 4 ---

"Where have you two been?" Their mother, Suzanne, asked as they stepped back inside through the front door. From the tone of her voice, it was clear that she was happy that Faith had left the house. A little bit of normalcy again for her daughter.

"Secret Clubhouse!" Faith replied happily. "And then McDonalds. The McFlurry machine wasn't even broken this time!"

"Secret Clubhouse? You mean.. The one over by Foxwood? My parent's old house?" Suzanne sounded confused, but her children's smiles answered the question before they even opened their mouths to reply. "You know, I never managed to find out where it was located! I went to search for it more than once, I'll admit. But you two were always so sneaky about it's location!"

"It's close by," Noah said cryptically, "Yet far away enough." That was all they shared about their day, but their mother knew better than to spoil Faith's mood - especially since she glowed with a little happiness for a change.

"Well, that smile looks wonderful on you, honey!" Suzanne exclaimed happily. "I'm really glad you decided to spend some time outside again, and I hope you'll make this a frequent thing." She ruffled Faith's hair a little as she spoke, to her daughter's dismay.

As daylight faded and night fell, Faith found herself cuddled up on the sofa with her older brother. It felt like things were almost back to normal between them again. He seemed less careful around her somehow. Less awkward. And maybe because of that, he also seemed more relaxed. The day had been wonderful for them to reconnect, though she had never fully managed to tell him how she felt. She had told him she loved him, but not that she meant it in a romantic way.

Noah was watching the news on TV as she sat next to him with her head resting against his shoulder, wrapped in a blanket. "I'm cold."

Noah sighed. "It's summer, Faith. You're weird. Shall I go get you another blanket?"

Faith pulled the blanket tighter around her instead. "Nah, I don't need another one. But we could lay down, and you could hold me? If you want." She hoped that her eagerness didn't creep into her voice. In truth, she wanted to be held by him so badly. She'd sleep in his bed, and become his teddy bear if she could.

He hesitated for a moment. Then he took hold of her arm and tugged slightly, until they had both shifted around so that they were lying down on the sofa with Faith snuggled up to his body - both of them under the blanket. She closed her eyes and nuzzled into his chest, enjoying the sensation of warmth and closeness. He wrapped his arms protectively around her thin frame and gently squeezed her close against him, burying his face into her strawberry blonde hair. "Better?"

"Yeah.." Faith replied simply, breathlessly. The world outside the windows was calm as far she could tell, but somehow, right there on the chesterfield couch, a storm was brewing. Her heart thundered within her ribcage, and she could hear herself breathe much more heavily than usual. The way Noah's manly hand rested on her lower back, drawing slow, careful circles - it was driving her wild. She swallowed audibly. "Do I have a nice butt?"

He paused for an instant, then answered slowly. "You.. What?" He broke out in laughter. "What do you mean?"

Faith choose her words carefully. "You know, I put on a bit of weight. Mom says it made my butt look rounder. More plump. I was just wondering if she said that to cheer me up, or if it was actually true.." Faith's cheeks began to burn. Why was this so hard? She knew exactly what she wanted. But saying it out loud seemed impossible.

"Oh. Uhm.. Yeah, you have a nice butt. Don't worry."

"You can't just say that without touching it first," Faith argued. "Give it a squeeze at least, before you make up your mind."

Noah's muscles tensed for a moment. "Seriously? I don't-"

"Come on. Please? I want to know." The heat of embarrassment was still fresh on her cheeks. It sounded like a dare, almost. Faith could feel how he hesitated - but then his masculine hand reached down a few inches which was all it took for him to cover her cute rear with his warmth. He groped her a little, very carefully, his rough fingertips stroking gently through her clothing as if unsure of what to do.

"It's nice." His words were short, spoken at low volume.

She grabbed his hand and pressed it against her round tushie properly. "Really feel it, Noah!" she begged, before letting go and waiting for his reaction. She closed her eyes, expecting to be shoved away and mocked at any moment now - but instead, her brother obeyed. Faith tried to concentrate on keeping her breathing under control, but as much as she tried, it was impossible when he squeezed her body against him like this. The way his fingertips caressed her soft skin through the fabric of her dress made her blood boil inside her veins. Her heart raced out of control and heat began to pool between her thighs.

"It's nice, Faith. You have nothing to worry about." As he withdrew his hand, she couldn't help but make a soft little noise.

"W-Wait.. Uhm.." She wiggled around a bit, grabbing the hem of her dress and pulling it up, bunching the fabric at the small of her back. Her bare thighs came into contact with the sofa's cushions, and the panties she wore were damp in places. "The dress was in the way, so.."

"Faith.." The way he said her name, it sounded like a warning.

"What?" She tried to keep the tone of her voice light. Innocent. "Just for like.. Half a minute."

She could sense him hesitate again, and then felt the touch of his fingers along her smooth skin - cupping the feminine curves of her left butt-cheek while also making sure that his fingers didn't stray any further than he felt they should. He hesitated for a long time before finally squeezing gently at first, but more firmly as seconds passed by. Faith closed her eyes tight as she tried to take everything in. His masculine scent. The warmth of his breath on her face. The feeling of his strong body against hers, which made her feel protected and secure. Her big brother. And the feeling of his hands all over her body. Oh, if only he would kiss her..

Suddenly, Faith could hear her mother approaching from somewhere in the house - the soft click of the floorboards as she approached. Noah withdrew his hands instantly, as if bit by a wild animal. But the blanket hid everything from sight, Faith was pretty sure.

"Look at you two all cuddled up." There was a timbre of suspicion in her voice, and it made Faith feel guilty - but not guilty enough to stop holding onto her brother for dear life. "Noah, don't let Faith smother you so much, sweetie. She gets really clingy, as you know."

"Mom," Faith whined. "I'm not being clingy!" She buried her face in Noah's shoulder as if to hide herself from their mother's gaze.

"Is she not being clingy?" Suzanne asked Noah, who just chuckled.

"Kind of," he conceded. "But it's preferable to seeing her sad." And their mother could not disagree with that.

--- 5 ---

"Did you take your medicine?" Suzanne asked the following morning, meanwhile brushing out her daughter's hair. It was Sunday morning, and the smattering of raindrops could be heard against the glass windows of the house.

"Yes, mom," Faith replied with mild annoyance. Same question every morning. "I didn't forget today either."

"I only ask because I care about you, sweetie." The brush swept through Faith's long tresses with a gentle scratching noise. Her mother had been put in charge of her entire beauty routine ever since her eyesight started failing. At first, it had felt very condescending - like she was being treated like a child. But as Faith grew more used to the daily struggle, it became almost comforting to have someone looking after her, and she appreciated her mother taking the time to pamper her so much. And she had sacrificed a lot, giving up a good job in the city to instead work from home, so that she could be Faith's caretaker. "Are you coming to church with us today?"

Faith was not particularly religious, but church was important to her mother, and had been even more important to her grandparents. Raised in the protestant church, Faith often went with them when she was younger, but as she got older, it became less and less frequent - and thankfully, her mother completely respected this decision. "Not today, mom," Faith replied softly. "I think I'm going to stay home."

"I thought so." It had been nearly six months since her last visit to the local parish, and she knew that her absence was expected. Still, her mother asked her every week, without fail. "But Noah is coming with me today, so I thought you might want to come along too." It was clear that Suzanne was hopeful in spite of her daughter's protest.

"Noah's going? How come?" It seemed very out of character for him to agree to attend. He was even less devout than Faith was.

"I think he wants to visit my parent's graves, dear. He's out buying flowers right now. And between you and me? The poor thing seems troubled by something. Maybe it's the stress of not finding work.."

Faith smiled as she pictured her brother standing in the florist, agonising over the choice of flowers, wondering which ones grandma would prefer. He certainly wasn't the type of man that would just pick something at random. Thoughtful and considerate was how Faith would describe him. And as for grandpa, he wouldn't care much either way - he'd rather have a shot of whiskey poured in his honour than anything more conventional.

"Okay, I'll go. I'd like to visit them too. It's been too long." She wondered what sort of trouble Noah might be going through, but it wasn't her place to pry into his life. Still.. A little nagging doubt lingered at the back of her mind, wondering if maybe she played some part in it. Or worse yet; some other woman. "But can you please help me look presentable, mom? Although I don't want to stand out."