All Comments on 'Blind to the Truth'

You said nothing about his ex wife. Where was the discussion with her? Why did she do it? Did she apologise and beg for forgiveness? His "rebirth" was OK but it would have been better if it came after a fuller conclusion to his marriage. Still, the story was well written so that was good.

Incomplete.

The ending is very contrived and confusing. No explanation for wife's conduct or what happened to her afterwards.

Just a badly written and very uninteresting story.

I liked it but,

Just like the other people said, it’s unfinished. Good writing,good characters, interesting premise, but everything left hanging? I really wish you would rewrite, make it twice as long, but give the readers closure on everything and everyone. Thank you

You write well but I didn't like the ending. After confronting the wife she just disappears from the story and Norman becomes the greatest sex machine on earth. Which immediately begs the question of why his wife cheated on him if he was that great????

You lost me in the end.

Lol wait wait wait, so the door knocked and she said it was Barry. But she said he was "just a guy looking for his girlfriend"

So what if it wasn't a guy but a woman at the door. Or worse yet what if it was someone he knew. When you're in a strangers home and hear their door knock do you think that it's someone that got the wrong door? That would be kinda crazy to make that assumption.

And re-reading the part where he first met Kelli is just too spot on. Her prostitute "act" was too perfect. And he paid her. She even reminded him she still has to take his money. And when he brings this up she doesn't even acknowledge him saying it! He says "You have to say that.... I paid you!" and she completely ignored it and continued trying to convince him to stay! The name of their service was "Jenny's outcall" and she wasn't Jenny. That's a detail they would have had to think of. Name it a different woman's name to appear like there's more people involved. They could have easily have called it idk something like "Midtown outcall" or shit why couldn't Kelli say she was Jenny?

haha nooooo she is 100% a sex worker. Is that guy her husband? Yes, no, maybe. Doesn't matter. Maybe he's her pimp. Maybe he is her husband and it's a "game" they play but nudge nudge wink wink no it's not a game your ass is making me some money. But she's totally a prostitute. It would be like you and your buddy giving each other blow jobs every day because you had this plan where one day inevitably one of your friends will catch you two and say that you two were gay. And that's when you can tell him it was a prank and he fell for it. You two blew each other every day for months when you two were alone because you knew that some day someone will catch you and you two thought that their friends reaction would be so hillarious.

This stories "gimmick" or whatever is that the main character is naive and the name is "Blind to the truth". This guy is still blind to the truth. His situation just has improved. And I'm giving this a 5 because hopefully this was what was planned by the author since it's clever and I enjoy these stories that require readers to figure out what really happened.

So what I think happened is she felt sorry for Norman. He's sweet and fucking clueless and had his heart ripped out. Sex workers are very used to this but he was able to win her sympathy. Their "date" he essentially aired all his dirty laundry about his ex wife. You don't fucking do this on a first date if you want the other person to like you. It's a huge red flag. They won't fall for you but they might feel sympathy for you. And she felt sympathy.

Her saying "I don't know who got into you mind and fucked it up, but you are one of the nicest men I have ever met" pretty much says it all. Their dialog leading up to that statement makes this statement seem out of place. Go back and re read their interactions together and there's nothing he's said or done with her that would make her believe that his mind is fucked up. However, what if Norman was an unreliable narrator? What if Norman didn't tell us about all the sad things you hear from a man recently divorced from a wife that cheated on him? Self loathing, self doubt, anger, sadness, they're all things EVERY man fells when cheated on. But not from Norman? At least during every interaction with Kelli? Nope. He definitely was a sad sack but he just tried to paint a better picture of himself for us. Kelli actually tells the reader what he says that made her think his minds fucked up. It's the second part of the statement where she says " without a doubt you are the greatest lover I have ever been with." That's our answer. The cheating emasculated him to the point he felt that he was so shitty at sex that women wouldn't want to be with him. Or something along those lines. His wife cheated with multiple people he knew. Had a 3 way with a neighbor and his wife. Norman was definitely fucked up in the head and Kelli was trying to help him.

This answers FireFox59s question in a way. Sex with Norman isn't the greatest. Probably not bad but not notable. Look at Norman and Kellis dates, they didn't even have sex every time. If he's the greatest lover and he paid her for sex then wouldn't she kinda be pushing him to have sex? And what does she say when they do have sex? "Fuck me, Norman... Fuck me. I owe you a good time...Fuck me!" I'm so glad Norman is as clueless as he is because that's just painful to read. In the throws of passion with the worlds greatest lover she's reminding him that she's doing it because he paid? Nope.

So yeah. Kelli actually is a prostitute. She thought he was sweet and felt bad for him. She helped him regain his confidence and the emasculation he suffered. When she felt he was falling for her he knew that he was ready to love again. So the whore brought him to a swingers party where she knew his chances of getting lucky was extremely high and minimized the possibility of getting shot down which would probably send him back into depression. The party was his wake up moment and he started to go out again. Meets the blonde Kandace but HE calls her Candy. Since he's a sweet clueless man it doesn't seem a little weird because his cheating ex was a blonde Betty. He has the option to call her Kandace since it's her name but Candy is closer to Betty lol.

So how did I do author?

And this is in "Loving Wives??" You've got to be kidding me. This sucked. The BEAR is not happy.

The BEAR

If you try not to be to clever and boring with your writing, i for one would not of give up half way down page one

A very strange story. A cheating wife who gets caught and another one with an open marriage. So who really benefited from this event?

whata pathetic turd of a man--A guy who is sooooooo amazingly stupid he doesnt know how stupid he is

"So, it was just another lie...." YES... you chump

"Oh, God Norman. I don't know who got into you mind and fucked it up, but you are one of the nicest men I have ever met and without a doubt you are the greatest lover I have ever been with."

"You have to say that.... I paid you!" - BINGO.

So she's his now? What happened to her current husband Matt?

From the person who wrote this to the storyline and the characters. This was a story of the blind leading the blind down a blind path that leads over a blind cliff!

So why did his ex wife fuck everyone she could? That makes no sense, why not start an OnlyFans or something? Then there was the private investigator. What was the point? Divorce court isn’t going to award you anything just because she cheated on you, so why use them?

Then there was the hooker with a heart of gold. I mean, come the fuck on! That’s just bullshit.

In fact, the whoke ending was shot and you know it.

Honestly, none of this msde any sense.

Very emotional and contemplative, without any substance or plot. What was the point? "Stupid People Live Fucked-Up Lives?" You told us that in your own way at the very beginning of the story. You told us lots of things we already knew about life and love, or a lot of other details that were irrelevant to the story. You would call it "color", or maybe background. Mostly tedious.

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What is interesting, by omission, is that we have No Idea why his loyal loving faithful wife became a cheating lying bisexual whore. Martian Slut Ray? In fact we know so little about the wife and her betrayal that it begs the question if this story is in the wrong category. The marriage appears to be a mere plot device so you can really really drive home how stupid and fragile and self-denigrating and emotional this whinny little bitch is. Is that why the wife wanted sex with other people, maybe real men and women for a change?

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It could have been an interesting story, but only if it included an actual story about marriage, human frailty and temptation, lust, adultery, and maybe recovery or reconciliation. There's a bunch of stories in the LW category you might want to read to get some ideas. You don't need any help with clueless poltroon and blind stupid cuck though, you've got that pegged.

So he is no longer a cuck, despite both of the two women he limits himself to fucking other men?

Are you sure you understand the definition of cuck?

The wife disappeared without a trace, no idea why she left this ostensible pinnacle of a man.

He pretty much just joined the lifestyle his ex-wife had, only he had been paying for sex. I don't see this as a happy ending.

Naive doesn't even begin to describe him. Mentally and socially retarded would be closer to the truth. Plus, this story focused initially on his cheating slut wife. What happened there? About the neighbour couple she was having threesomes with? All the other men she was involved with? Any revenge on them... or his wife? There are so many holes in the story that were begging to be filled.

The post divorce shit was just weird.

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And we never learned why the wife cheated.

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2 **

It wasn't horrible, but left a lot to be desired. The emotion leading up to and including the divorce was rather blah. His relationship with Kelli was delusional, even before he learned she was just another dishonest bitch in his life. His transition from wanting a loving relationship to just banging whatever is available was just sad.

What the heck was that? A story that starts out so well, then drops off the cliff. Making the start seem part of another story. Norman 'gets his eyes opened' to the wonderful world of swinging, making his cheating wife's only sin that of not including him. Total contradiction, and total disconnect.

It started out okay, but then it ended strangely. We never hear from the wife, he picks up a card he finds and calls a strange number? Page one - okay. Page two - weird.

"Whose Barry" You mean Who's Barry? Like other comments, this duct-taped ending, so painfully common with almost ever LW story that isn't a mislabeled cuck tale, of the 'hero' suddenly walking off to the sunset with an infinitely better woman who can't get enough of his cock is just so trite, cliche, and frankly unbelievable, I have no idea why it is so overused.

Congratulations Jay! Very well written story! Your perseverance in writing is really paying off. This is your best work so far. 5 stars! Please keep on going because you're going great!

Wavedave45,

ScorpioJJ shows you how to write a critique.

Dumb... Feels like a desperate attempt to do something different with a loving wives story and failing miserably.

Stupid!

Fun story.

Ed

Really undeveloped tale that seems to mosey on Wed th no direction. What happened to the cheater…?

You haven’t quite grasped the finer points of writing a LW story yet.

I would like to know a little more about his first wife, why she cheated, how long she cheated

different

Hum? What's this?

Strange story... I was expexting more talking from his wife whem she was discovered and he confronted her... and the second part is a bit confusing..., she is swinger but gets money, Kelli, Sandy.... ??

Shallow and unfinished. What hapen d to his wife? What is his relationship with the jumbled up “ massage girls”

A real messed up bunch of people.

Story had a lot of promise, but it was hard to follow. I don’t know if this was translated into English, but it didn’t flow- 4 stars.

Why did this story completely skip everything related to his wife’s infidelity? No details about the confrontation, no emotional reaction or any explanation from the wife, No interactions over the divorce. The author focuses 90% of the story on Our Hero meeting some swingers after the divorce. WTF? What a waste of time.

What just happened? This was truly incoherent.

Not the best effort, no closure or really anything with the wife, super rushed and awkward ending that.. made no sense at all. Chick legit lied and stole from him and he went from not wanting sex to jumping into an orgy ?

I get that you're going for the weird porno male fantasy of wounded husband turns into super stud, but you gotta build up to it at least, people don't go from wounded animals to overnight orgies in one conversation, especially one that would directly trigger their trauma.

@comefindme ... It's interesting that some people get hung up on the one person that should be irrelevant, it's almost as if some people want them to live rent free. It's also interesting that you think she lied and even more telling that you think she stole ... He didn't want sex because he was confused by information overload and a deep sense of inadequacy, hence the pep talk she gave him to open his eyes.

About the only thing I agree with you on is that it's a little rushed, because we all know that he wasn't that great in bed and he wasn't that attractive to other women, or at least not the ones anyone would want to have sex with.

Very confused

WTF was THAT?

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2**

What is happening ???

Another story with no ending!

Loved the story but it's a real shame that you switch the names of the characters in your stories. Still a 5*+ from me. Well done and thank you. Mel B known as Hornydevil47

The author is blind to the fact that ALL their stories are all over the place and ALWAYS unfinished.

Every story like a sentence has components. This one was light a dim light reflecting off of a mirror. Hard to see the point and even harder to follow.

About 5 times as long as it needed to be due to the story being full of totally irrelevant and unnecessary bullshit. 1 star is too many.