Blinked

Author retains all rights to this original work of fiction. This story contains graphic sexual content and is intended for mature audiences only. If you're triggered by consensual sex depiction - this is not the story for you. Thank you for considering the read of my story...

I decided early on my rules should be simple - but followed regardless of their simplicity. The first rule, no particular order BTW for what's to following, was I would always reply to every inquiry made to my profile on the 'Blinked' app - though if I had access to a computer, their website was certainly easier to navigate and made communicate with the people who reached out. It was really quite the thrill to logon and see "You've got six new Blinks". Wait - you're not familiar with that app / website? Okay I gotcha...

'Blinked' is just another flavor of today's modern dating app / website and primarily targets the LGBTQ+ community. I use it to piggy back on the 'T' or Transgendered portion of that mouthful of alphabet soup (Is that even a thing anymore - soup with little letter noodles?).

Let me clarify my piggy backing statement first though, I am not Trans. My profile will tell you that straight up. It will however tell you I am a crossdresser with varied interests when it comes to dating and how I line up with the gender I prefer to present as - wish I were. I probably should just embrace the Trans life and live as the person I know I am, but life can be complicated, right? Boy, that's a mouthful not so useful information. I gotta stop doing that - apologies - I'll try to be better, but I'm a little jazzed trying to tell you this story.

So, yes, I know I probably am in the 'Bi' camp - I have swung both ways in the past. But my tastes these days, as I explore the feminine side of my psyche, tend to be more male-centric when it comes to partners. Let me also say this one tiny thing about why I'm not Trans - quickly, I hope. I lack the guts to take the woman I feel - no - that I KNOW I am inside and truly, as they say, 'walk the walk' full time. I just can't bring myself to cross the Trans rainbow and come out - live as my true self - to be me outwardly as I so crave internally. Trans rainbow - that isn't a thing I don't think. I should Google it.

I've been crossdressing and feeding that female inside of me since, yeah that would have started about twenty years ago, I'm pretty certain of that and have the memories to prove it. I used to play dress up with my sister, two years older than I - that's exhibit 'A'. I graduated from something that was looked upon as being cute and nothing but a phase, to sneaking around and dressing when I was home alone in my sister's clothes. Sorry sis if you're reading this - which I know you aren't. Sorry, not sorry? Augh...

I even, OMG, I can't believe I'm telling you this, dressed for another boy my age, eleven I think we were, as we played a harmless game of 'house'. My first kiss was actually with that boy and I'm pretty certain I was his first kiss also as his make-believe wife. Nothing more than lips touching lips, we had no concept of French kissing, tongues, or advancing those playing parameters to anything deeper, or anything sexual. But I can assure you I knew how to pleasure myself back in those days! Whew... Why am I getting flustered thinking about all that?

Okay, point I was trying to make was a couple boys kissed, right? Our firsts weren't with some girls we probably chased on the playgrounds of our younger years, but with each other. Point made, moving on, I have no idea what exhibit I'm on now right now or what dating rule I'm trying to relay. This probably seems a bit scattered. Hang with me, I'll get this story righted and moving in the right direction.

So, luck and caution combined, I never got caught! Not once! At least that I know of. No one has confronted me about my younger years of crossdressing. And, here in my mid-twenties I'm still at it. Certainly, more refined, polished, and I know a bit more about what I'm doing. My family, friends, what have you - never been caught. Dang it! That's not true, sort of, but sort of not? Okay, I did get caught.

I was stopped late one night coming home from a date for an 'Illegal turn on red / stop light' by a very nice police officer a few years ago. He didn't make a big deal about the license I handed over, with registration and proof of insurance. I think I'd almost, maybe, had fooled him right up until he had those documents were in his hands. I can assure you I was scared straight by that experience! But in typical addictive fashion, right back to dressing and going out a week later, actually five days. Oooh, and no ticket - just a warning! Hey, hey!

I've gone a lot of different directions here so far - let's get back to those rules. Respond to messages on 'Blinked' and have conversations, which could technically be chats via the app / website. I really should amend that rule to be respond to messages or chat requests, but there have to be real conversations happening. I don't waste my time with messages that were hate laden or out of left field.

At a minimum any messages / chats had to come at me with something other than, "You hot, let's fuck!" Augh, hello! Word to the wise, whomever you contact via whatever mode you're doing it, conversation will get you "Let's fuck!" eventually if you can grab the other persons mind - even remotely. Might even be the person you reach out offers it up without you asking, so don't be creepy and try to be NORMAL!

I've gone on a few 'dates' (see the next rule) that didn't end up in "Let's fuck!" circumstances. But rules are rules with me and they've kept me from being a terrible statistic of some form of violence. That people - isn't something to take lightly BTW - stick to your rules or the risks can become deadly serious! I'm trying not to preach here, so apologies if I'm being preachy.

Next rule: A real date. Yeah, like meet someplace very public after a fair number of conversations / chats. This is where the anxiety can really kick in, at least for me. I imagine it's like that for others as well trying to 'pass' as something they aspire to be. It is crazy exciting and stressful all at the same time - agreeing to go on a date with someone from the Blinked site or whatever app you're using.

Why that rule about a public date? Well, that person you're talking to could be a nut, loon, predator, a religious zealot hell bent on building a funeral pyre and setting you a blaze. That's why you wanna meet in public. Don't think flowery chats with that person on Blinked can't end badly. Protect yourself, because when you least expect it crazy can and will strike. Be on guard - which is a given rule always.

Where are we? Respond to all, conversate a bunch, public date, be on guard... Oh, probably another unspoken and unnecessary to include here rule: Don't over promise or over commit. Seems simple, but could bite you in the ass if that person on the other end of those messages / chats thinks you're 'Just asking for IT'. Be clear with how you want the date to go and don't promise more than you are willing to act on.

That's about it. Hmm... Yeah, probably, but I'm going to interject some random thoughts in this little story as I describe my last 'date'. Moohahaha! You think up until this point I wasn't going to dish? That was silly of you! Let's dive in, shall we?

Two months ago, I got a Blinked message from a user named 'CantBuySlippers'. Just his name alone was enough to pique my interest and his message was ever so puzzling, 'Hey, you like helicopters?' Nothing else was said in that first message other than to ask about a helicopter. Now tell me, that's not a different approach to get someone's attention!

What do you think my reply was? I was curious as to, well just read my response: 'Sure, interesting mode of travel - wish I knew how to fly one - do you fly?'

It took twenty-eight hours for 'CantBuySlippers' to get back to me. I honestly thought a couple hours maybe, then a day went by, and then I just wrote him off. I do get plenty of messages that end up going nowhere BTW, so I wasn't like crushed or anything. But this guy had enough quirk and unusual in just his user name and that message that I'd hoped we'd conversate (not a real word). Warning - don't ever get your hopes up least you open yourself up for disappointment.

Do I mention here 'CantBuySlippers' profile picture was, in a word HOT?! And that the other pictures he freely posted of himself were equally HOT!! Whew, stepping back to fan myself a little. Conversate wasn't the only thing I was thinking as you can well imagine... Alrighty then, moving on!

Oh, before I do, another rule: Check the user's activity on the 'Blinked' app. You can see the user's activity on the app / website. Like how often a user is online, the number of messages they've sent / received, and their rating by people they've contacted.

Yeah, a damn rating system of one to five hearts as to what others thought of them. I know, pathetic, hearts? Whatever... I was solidly rated 4.2 hearts after eight months' worth of 'Blinked' usage. That rating was a little annoying because I thought I played nicer than I was being given credit for, but I probably pissed some hillbilly off somewhere along the way and got a one heart rating that brought my average down. Okay, two hillbillies, and maybe a couple lesbians didn't like me. WHATEVER! That's a story for another day.

Point is, CHECK on the user. And 'CantBuySlippers' was rated 4.6 hearts. Was I a little jealous? Maybe, but moving on to the point here (beyond HOT pictures of him), he was fairly active on the site. His message / chat counts were nearly twelve-hundred and he frequented the site daily, like I did. So, his twenty-eight-hour reply was a little off putting considering his stats. If you paid attention to that stuff, which I did, so it ended up as a rule. Sort of, like when I'm interested in... You know, a HOT guy!

Anyhoo... I got my reply eventually from him, 'Only ask because there's one in one of your pictures background.' He included a smiley face emoji with that message.

Hold up people! I can assure you there were no pictures of me with a helicopter in the background that I'd posted under my profile and I told him so, 'You must be mistaken. Thanks for the giggle.' He had to be thinking he was Blinking with someone else. It was a fun exchange and I was about to write him off when I got a reply.

'Red skirt, red flats, white blouse... You might want to look a little closer. I'm happy to have made you giggle and for that I'm smiling...' The message included another smiley face emoji and an indication that he'd rated me 5-hearts. Bold - he didn't know me and I was arguing with him about a damn helicopter I was supposedly around in one of my pictures - which wasn't there I can assure you. NOT THERE BUDDY!

And what do you think I did next? Yup - checked my posted pictures. I'd posted only two pictures of me in a red skirt, red flats, white blouse, and there was not a helicop... The second picture of me in that outfit, in the distance - like you'd need binoculars to see in the distance - there was a, helicopter. You have got to be freaking kidding me! The focus of that picture was not some damn helicopter! I was baffled, a little embarrassed, and quite frankly wondering why 'CantBuySlippers' was messing with me like this. Okay, two can play that game smarty pants!

I poured over his posted pictures. Saved them to my computer from the internet and in each one zoomed in and out looking for something obscure to strike back at him with. Something that would make him question my assumption of something he might not have expected I could see in one of his pictures. And you know what? I found something! In the glare of a big paned window, maybe where he lived, a house, I saw... Well, read my message back to him.

'Observant... Take me on a motorcycle ride...' But I didn't stop with that simple message because of the motorcycle I saw reflected in the window of one of his pictures, I kind of outright made it sexual by including, 'I like to feel a little power between my legs...' I sent him a smile emoji and boldly - if that message wasn't bold enough already - rated him 5-hearts also.

I know, I know right? Rules, rushing it, a motorcycle ride is not exactly a public date setting, and maybe there was a little over promising with that 'between my legs' crack.

So, what else could you guess about this last conversation? How about that it took nearly thirty-one hours for him to reply! Yeah! What the hell!

His eventual reply: 'I like that idea, what are you doing Saturday morning? Weather should be good and a ride up to Paradise Lodge at Mt. Rainier would be fun. I've got a set of leathers that would probably fit you and an extra helmet. How about we meet at the Super Mall in Auburn at 9:00 AM outside of Kohl's - I'll probably be the only biker around that early. You game?'

Augh! No, I'm not meeting you to go for a ride when you are all about ignoring me on this site for thirty-one hours! Especially when I can clearly see you've been active on here.

Note, I may have written down some of his contact numbers after my last message to him. In those thirty-one hours it took to reply he'd sent fourteen messages to other users and received twenty-one. No, I'm not a stalker! Not what I was doing, I was merely trying to gauge, ah... Gauge his interest, that's it, that's all. Don't over read people!

So, was I pissed about being ignored? Yup, I was a little miffed certainly. My reply, 'Sounds tempting, but I don't operate well when not the focus of those I care to see outside this platform.'

Too much? Not like we were dating. His being 'HOT!' came with responsibilities - like don't be an ass and I absolutely thought he was ignoring me. I probably should have rethought that reply, but it was too late now. Oh and my rules were clear, dates were to be first a public kind of thing. And he couldn't change that 5-heart rating now, so if he thought I was a bitch - eh, too late buddy! You should have waited to rate me. Maybe I should have waited to rate him? Moving on...

Interestingly enough there was a reply two hours later though, 'I get a lot of messages from men, which takes a bit of time to go through. Not my focus, my profile clearly states that. I'm also incredibly busy at work as of late, which is stress I could do without. I'm logged into the app all day, but I'm not actively doing things - so it may appear I'm on, but I'm not. I answer messages in the order I get them and I should probably outright ignore a lot of them, but I feel the need to reciprocate for appearances. My intentions with you were that you would be my focus - hence the motorcycle ride. You, I assure you, are not an afterthought. I can see where I may have given you that impression and I apologize. Thank you for the consideration. My lack of focus, my loss. Cheers!' Aaaand another damn smiley face emoji!

Good God! Read that back people! He's trying to guilt me, right? I mean - 'be my focus - hence the motorcycle ride'! Oh, and 'Thank you for the consideration.' Paaalease! I'm not some bimbo on this site pining over boys, men, whatever! Rules! Stick to your damn rules. And cut any overtly sexual advances and be done with this guy or any guy for that matter!

I replied with: 'I have rules about first dates being public affairs and I have all those same excuses about attentions on this site, but everyone one of my replies are generally done fairly quickly, not a day later. Focus on a helicopter, rather than a woman nicely dressed, combined with all the delayed replies, was your undoing.'

Ha! Your lesson for the day Mr. Slippers in the Snow or whatever you mean with not buying them. Take that you... Oh, there was a quick reply by my Prince of Ignore Me...

'Would you care to chat? App or phone number exchange...'

Anxiety spike! Rule, another one, don't give out your phone number! Unless it's a burner phone or something. Big mistake if you ever did that, give them a direct hook into you! Though T-Mobile made it easy to block numbers - no no no... You aren't getting my phone number dude!

I replied - 'I could stand to chat... But I'm not about to change my mind though.' Do I need to mention a rule about playing hard to get? I mean, I wasn't necessarily trying to be a bitch or anything, but he's got to do some of the heavy lifting, right?

The app on my phone pinged and I could see I was being invited to a chat room called, 'Ride with me...' I laughed - at least it didn't say, 'Ride me...' I joined - more curious than anything else. Okay, so maybe it was more than curious...

"Hey...," I opened with.

"Hey yourself. You do have some wonderful pictures posted. The yellow dress, Alki Beach area I think, you look to have just finished laughing about something, right?"

He had paid attention to my pictures, deeper than just saying, 'You purdy, let's fuck!' Where did I want to ultimately to go with this guy? Don't skip ahead or try guessing people, this is a slow story of a chase.

"Yes, my friend snapped that picture right after I'd been whistled at and catcalled by a car out on the Alki strip with some likely high school aged guys. They were pretty comical, but from fifty feet away I'm sure they didn't realize I wasn't exactly what they thought."

"So, you go out often then?"

"By out do you mean as a woman? If that's the question, then yes, but I typically have control of my outings..."

"I wasn't implying a differentiated you out or you out as a woman. I assumed you lived everyday as you appear, is that not the case?"

"That's very sweet of you to say, but I'm not sure exactly where I'm going with my female persona just yet," I answered truthfully.

And, if you have rules you follow, one you should certainly stick to is being as honest as you can, so as not to be tripped up by a lie later.

He complimented me, I'm sure I blushed, but he wouldn't have seen that in a chat room. He pressed for more on that. I obliged at a high level. He asked if people I knew were aware of 'Kristen' - the name I used. No.

And on and on we went for easily thirty minutes - okay, it was thirty-three minutes, but who's monitoring? I was of course, and surprise - I was actually enjoying the conversation - up until the 'push'...

"Why not go on a ride with me?"

That was the push... "I told you; dates are public at first, it's just a rule I follow to stay safe."

"What could I do to change your mind?"

And I've been pushed again... "Nothing..."

"Nothing? Do you have a LinkIn account?"

"Yes," but I would be damned to hand that information out - especially given it wasn't Kristen someone would see in the picture for my account.

"Good, look up Robert Franklin Benn. His account has an email address to his place of work. Email him... Or better yet Google that name and you'll likely see that I work at the UW as a Professor of Finance and Business Economics - there will be pictures of me that match. Maybe even that I've got a 'distinguished' moniker also to go with my professional credentials. I'm putting that out there and trusting you. Certainly, you could make my life embarrassing, but I'll risk that I've read you right based on what I've seen in your pictures, this chat. Go, email the guy, see if he replies."

And there was the challenge and another push - email some University of Washington Professor - see if I get a reply. Okay, I had nothing going on - challenge accepted. "If that's who you are, reply appropriately to the email I'm about to send..."

I rushed to my Gmail account, after looking up Mr. Benn on LinkedIn to get his email address, and typed the following email message: 'Professor Benn, I'm failing your class and would do anything to not fail. Can you help me?' I went back to the chat room and let him know I sent the email, to which he replied that he got it and would send an immediate reply.