Blood & Carrots - Silverpaw Ep. 09

"Husband... what a pitiful site you were..." I frowned and felt myself draw my saber while staring down the twisted form of my fox.

"The embodiment of your personal monster, Sarnai... nearly six hundred years of it controlling you. It's time you took your heart and mind back." Alice moved beside me, both her guns already drawn, an unearthly purple haze of flame drifting from her body.

"Well he's a baby, this should be easy." I hummed the words as I leveled my own gun at the rabid fox and squeezed off a shot. His form simply blurred as the bullet passed through and he was atop me, nails digging into my shoulders, mouth parted baring his fangs, spittle, and blood dripping over my shoulder as he dragged me to the ground.

I yipped out as I fell to the ground before the rabbit sent a powerful lance of fire into the demon, sending it sprawling off me before it righted itself in a snarl. I quickly found my own feet and stood beside her, saber drawn once more. "This is your soul, Sarnai, not reality. Do not assume this will be a simple matter."

"Noted..." I clenched my teeth as I set my stance and the fox launched forward once again. I was ready this time and quickly sidestepped, raking my saber across the monster's chest. My blade cleaved through as if it were made of mist, leaving not a scratch.

"Damn it!" I barked out as the fox spread his talon-like fingers and began to rake and slash at the air while I leaped back, jumping and dodging the blinding flashes of strikes.

"Use your fire! A force of will is needed, not steel and strength!" Alice yelled out to me as I heard several shots ring out, the bullets leaving her revolver alternating in colors of red and white. The foxfire infused rounds peppered the back of the wild vampire as it reeled then turned in fury and howled.

"Don't turn your back to me bastard!" I snarled and willed my flames forth, red wisps caking my hands and feet before I leaped forward and round housed the other fox in the back of the head.

The blow landed and the Elias specter slammed to the ground in a heavy thud of pressure. I focused my will and held both my hands forward, pushing forth heavy torrents of red flames. The monster howled and screamed in pain and I felt my heart twist, the sounds familiar as if they were indeed my husbands.

"Keep it up, I don't know how much of a beating this thing can take." Alice spoke the words as she moved to my side, her own fire pouring off her hand to join mine. We stood there for several moments until the creature finally stilled and grew lifeless.

"Is it... dead?" I growled the words, hesitantly ceasing my flames to see the corpse of the monster laying there burning.

"Dead is... a subjective word here..." Alice spoke out to me, staring intently upon the flaming body of the fox.

"What is this all about, rabbit? It seems laughable that all I needed to do was beat up the bogey man in my head to fix my nightmares." I growled the words at her, my tail slashing through the air, red flames drifting off it.

"Your sire... he was one of a dying breed of our kind. It seems any turned were cursed or possessed as it were. We are battling a literal being within your soul right now. A spirit that feeds off your anguish and grows strong from it." Alice unfurled her whip and the length burst into white flames as the burned corpse stirred.

"Inside my soul? How much sense does that make!" I snarled the words flames bursting forth as I dropped my foot into the mostly charred head of the fox, kicking it back down before releasing another wave of fire against it.

"Maybe it jumps from host to host, have you ever turned someone?" Alice snarled the words as she lashed the whip across the things back.

"No, it never was needed. I never wanted to pass on my potential madness." I lifted my ears as the corpse simply faded from sight and I set my jaw.

"Keep yourself at the ready... I do not think we are close to-" Alice choked out as I grabbed her by the throat and hauled her from the ground, my own red flames pouring forth from my body.

I barked out in shock, seeing it was literally me holding her from the ground as I gazed on. "What in the nine... hey bitch! That rabbit is under my protection!" I barked out furiously and pounced upon my own specter.

The shadow version of me yipped as I tackled into her, Alice falling to the ground coughing as we rolled in the dirt and grass, clawing and punching at one another. I shifted and rolled the doppelganger over, snarling as I glared down upon myself. "This is stupid... all these years of pain, all for your sorry ass!"

The copy of me showed a wide grin and lifted her ears. "You should thank me, the constant torment tempered you. Made you strong enough to protect your husband and sheep!"

"Fuck you! I didn't need your help in anything, nor your stupid fucking nightmares!" I barked the words, my teeth clenched as I snarled and cut my eyes to the side, seeing Alice standing there with her arms crossed, watching the internal struggle of myself.

"You do not like the rabbit seeing such personal things? Perhaps we should show her more. Let us make this little meeting a nightmare in and of itself!" The demon in me cackled the words, her voice filled with madness.

"Don't you dare-" I yipped out as everything changed in a blink and I stood in a long-gone field, hundreds of years in the past. My ears lifted as I saw the whole scene replaying before my eyes, right in front of me and Alice.

"Stop this now!" I snarled out as the rabbit stood beside me. The conflict between Rachel and Hagen playing out. The whole battle was quick and ended faster than I expected, my hellfire halting his attack so that Lorelai could finish things.

"So you were protecting her even back then, eh?" Alice looked upon me curiously as the scene faded.

"Protecting is a stretch..." I spoke the words and looked away.

The shade appeared before us, a cocky grin on her face and flames rolling off her form as she held a hand up. "Oh, she did... she's loved the sheep for centuries... she fell for her the same night she fell for Elias."

"I've had enough of your shit, wraith!" I screamed out and sent a lance of hellfire towards the fox, the image fading as the scene changed to that night of her and I on the balcony in Ceuta. The night of my confession. "S-stop this, now!"

"It's okay, Sarnai... no shame in your love for her. I do not take affront to it." Alice called out to me gently and I looked down upon her, my teeth still clenched in anger. The rabbit averted her eyes to watch the scene play out, the awkward moment of me speaking of the comfort of her arms and our talk of the new world.

The shade returned in a new form this time, of Alice in a shimmering red dress of silk and holding a martini glass of blood. She tilted her head and gave me a malicious grin. "How does that feel fox? To know I have everything you once did or sought to have? Shall I regale you of the lovemaking to your husband or the lovely sounds the sheep will make for me?"

I howled out in fury before I felt Alice grip my arm hard. She looked upon me and shook her head. "It cannot. It does not have those memories and it only seeks to antagonize you... Nothing you have lost can't be regained. I hold no absolute claim over any of them, Sarnai."

"They have to make those choices, not you, Alice." I growled the words as the scene faded once more and the next act unfolded. The fight with me, Lorelai, and Samantha. I swallowed hard at the view of it all, knowing that was the pivotal moment in my madness.

She watched the scene to its conclusion then sighed and looked up at the fake stars in the sky. "So you sacrificed yourself to save her... You knew the price but paid it all the same."

"That's right, Sarnai... It was thanks to me you saved yourself and the sheep that night. Can't you see you would be helpless without my power?" The shade version of me slowly faded into view once more, now sitting upon the chair I would use back home.

Alice cocked a brow at me. "Is it true? Is all of your love and dreams tied to this thing, or to you and your own will?"

I ground my teeth and thrust my hand out. "No. It was my own power that won that night, you have never brought me anything but pain."

"Ha... I have tempered your soul, fox. I made you strong enough to grit your teeth and stand in the light. I gave you the fortitude to endure even when your husband was lost to you. I have-"

"You will shut your mouth! You were the cause of most of my anguish. My power is mine and I do not need you. Yes, I may be stronger because of the nightmares, but how broken and mad am I to show for it?" I shook my head and glared hard at myself. "No... I don't need you and never did."

The shade of myself showed a snarl and stood from the chair. "You are nothing without me, Sarnai. I made you what you are."

"My husband... my brother and sister... even Lorelai..." I barked out a bitter laugh and put a hand to my face. "You almost cost me all of them... no... you almost cost me so much more... had I fallen that night, it all would have been lost to me, and they would have been the ones left to grieve."

The fox before me showed a wild grin and lifted her ears. "You think you can just brush me aside? I've been a part of you for nearly six hundred years."

"Your hold on her was loosened the moment you showed yourself, demon. You had fallen into my trap long before you started this display." Alice folded her arms and gave the other version of me a bored look.

"You still your tongue, bitch!" The shade of me snarled and lunged for the rabbit, slashing a flaming claw against her throat. Alice snorted through her nose as the attack simply passed through her.

"It took me some time to put the pieces together, but do not assume you can touch me now, shade." The rabbit turned and looked upon me, putting her hands on her hips. "Everything is brought forth into the light now. What will you do?"

I folded my arms and looked hard upon the shade of myself, contemplating what had happened through the years. "Perhaps... you are correct."

"What?" The doppelganger showed her teeth as her ears lifted.

"You have tempered me and you have made me stronger. I cannot say for certain if I would be here today without that." I held my hand aloft, red flames rolling from my fingertips.

"Ha! So you admit you-" I didn't let the shade finish before backhanding her. The fox fell to the ground holding her cheek and looking up at me in shock and fear at the very real pain from my blow.

"You are a part of me and though you have caused me great pain and misery. You have in your own way done me a service. This life is as much yours as it is mine." I folded my arms while looming over the demon inside me. I then shifted my gaze to Alice. "So, I can do away with this part of me anytime I wish now, eh?"

Alice gave me a shrug. "More or less. I can help bring you back to this point anytime you wish, sister."

"Well, there you go... you've been on this ship with me the whole time, as a stowaway. You can sign on as part of the crew or I can throw your ass overboard. What's it gonna be?" I showed the shade of myself a cocky grin and held my hand out to her.

She blinked upon me while still holding her cheek, her mouth gaped slightly. A moment later she shook her head and glared upon me. "You, why would you do this?"

"Because in a way, you're like a sister to me. You've been through the trials and tribulations of my life, both what you wrought and everything in between. I'm hesitant to cleave away a part of me that has been there since day one." I tilted my head and set myself with a glare. "You wish to argue this point with me, shall I cast you into oblivion instead?"

The fox blinked at my words then shook her head before reaching to grab my hand. I hauled her forward and we stared upon one another for a long moment. She averted her eyes and sighed. "You got to experience all the fun stuff while I was left here in the darkness, the avatar of your nightmares..."

"Well, now you can experience them with me, the good and the bad. Neither of us needs to deal with the nightmares any longer." I barked the words and opened my arms.

The other fox pushed into my chest and held me tight as I wrapped my arms around her. "Thank you... yes, I would enjoy that..." She whispered the words and then she faded and I was alone with Alice once again.

The rabbit gave me a moment before tilting her head. "How do you feel?"

I opened my hand, clenching my fist, seeing the red flames roll off me still. I nodded and looked back at her. "Whole, stable, I feel... complete."

Alice smiled and nodded. "I have a sneaking suspicion I will not need to do this again..." With those words, the dream washed away and ended.