All Comments on 'Bloodlines of Old Ch. 03'

Not really a fan of wolf stories, but this one I like. The pacing is good, and so are your characters. The lesbian twist is fun and fresh and I look forward to seeing more.

The story is good, the sex scenes are good (don't feel quite so forced to shoehorn them in, in my opinion; they're good to have, but occasionally they don't quite fit with a coherent storyline, you kind of have to choose if it's a story with a lot of sex or sex with some story in it). There's some kind of strange wording choices, though; have you considered an editor? Literotica does have a volunteer editor program, which might help. I'm referring to things like 'we both relented juices into one another' where relented should probably be released; an editor can pre-read and flag things like that, to make sure things make sense in context

I love the feedback. If you have other examples I'm all ears. However the one you state, maybe I could have worded it differently, but the intention was to show an unwillingness to release, while I could have used release, I wanted to show the hesitation to do so, more specifically the yielding suggestion of the definition.

I hope you go on and do at least one more chapter. I'd really like to find out who the traitor was.

5/5

J

Great more

Way too much drama and tears. Still can't comprehend how Charlotte could pull off having a penis when she's a wolf and not have one when she's turned back into a woman. Guess that if a fictional story the author can make anything happen that they want, okay.