All Comments on 'Bloody Trick Pt. 02'

If you can successfully plan a fake murder, you can successfully plan a real one! He should have just gotten rid of them, moved on.

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ZK

This writer is above average Good. However, the somewhat artificially prolonged tale left an empty (disappointed?) feeling, particularly as the ending was botched. Okay, I am writing this well after the tale was originally published, so I am alright with this effort. One thing nagging me is how the author transformed his heroic character Kellie into a brain-farting MORON.

How in the fuck did she decide to name Willa a godmother?!! So fucking stupid, as if Kellie lacked understanding of the role.

I liked the story and gave it 5 stars. Willa was a complete asshole about wanting Mark back and he made a good point about her working sixteen- and eighteen-hour days and what would that mean to his relationship with her. How much time would they actually spend together? I am so glad that they did not reconcile. Willa was a selfish bitch. I believe that she really did mean those things she said about Mark to Dale and she really did not love Mark anymore. She was a cheap whore to Dale and expected Mark to accept his position as cuckold and like it. Well, that did not happen. I was happy too that Mark was not feeling bad about outing Willa and Dale on their affair. It had to be done. Overall, this was a very well-written story about a good man married to a cheating slut of a wife. He found out about her cheating and took corrective action. Love the story. Good job!!!!

Loved it!!!

The Willa character certainly expressed one of the most extreme versions in LW annals of the “it was only sex — I love YOU” excuses for her adultery. And even at the end when maybe there might be a slim chance with Mark, tne idiot was totally unwilling to reduce or give up her workaholic affirming job to be a wife and mother.

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Not ending either Mark’s or Willa’s stories was lazy. And cost you multiple ⭐️s.

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2 **

Your ending is crap. You turned Mark into a total cuck and his whore ex-wife lived happily ever after.

The last chapter was like a sad soap opera. Sad with no real content.

This ending is just a load of crap.

Wow, Mark really got the short end of this. Just not a very good feeling at the end. She got exactly what she wanted and the one thing that Mark wanted got taken from him. I guess in the end Mark got burnt not the wife.

I'm not sure in the long run how she was burned... Other than not being married. She got a promotion out of it and post of his business.... she went through a period of hell, sure, but it worked out well for her. Why the hell would his friend make her god mother though?

Not a fan of the stories from you so far sadly... Let me try a few more. That said, nice if you to put your works out there and clearly some people truly enjoy them.

I actually like don't if the premises.... But the execution is severely lacking to me...

Not sure why Kelly would make Willa the children's godmother? This chapter did kind of clean up the mess of the first chapter. I did think it was awesome when Mark played the DVD at the Doctor's office, not much of a come back for the lying cunt after that. Seems kind of a sad ending with Mark just kind of drifting off into the sunset so to speak. As for being a BTB story, this one fell kind of short. Now if the murder trial had been held maybe that would have been different but I'm thinking it's impossible to get a murder convection without a Corpus delicti.

Every cheating spouse should be burned. 5/5 stars for Marks job with the burning.

1/5 stars for Willa and her ways as married wife.

jopstorm1945

Very well thought out story. Yes some may say to drawn out to long But to Me everything written had to be in to make things click together. I enjoyed your story.

Incomplete aftermath.

I enjoyed the story and am thankful that the writer made the effort to write it and to make it freely available here. To those making such disparaging comments: try looking in a mirror and think of your own self-worth as a human being; what have you given the world?

Are these supposed to be parodies of bad LW stories? IF so, great. If not, well, you are really, really bad at this.

Depressing

Infidelity starts with the first kiss. There is no coming back the marriage IS over. Only Rape or drugs can be used as an excuse and even then she should not have put herself in a position to allow either rape or to be drugged.

lol ... reading this comment section it seems people don't realize that this story is TRUE!!!!!!

You write well. But no real consequences for the whore. I wish writers would realize that they are buying into the feminist idea of women always bring blameless on all their offenses.

Short ending.

Shallow ending...there is not closure for the mc other then just living. The wife is very shallow and stupid. She asks herself those questions he asked and decided on a god now she should have have suffered more she threw away her marriage treats him like crap and wants him back

i liked the whole story. original and well-written. Thank you

Ed

Very interesting Tory, but I did not care for the ending.

Still one Of the best writers on the site. Thanks for putting yourself out there!

Great well developed and structured story.Loved it

A very disappointing ending to a very good beginning. Actually nothing changed. He continued his way of life and she berried herself in work refusing to become a wife.

Reading again. Still one of tne best “burns” on a cheater ever posted.

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One detail that jumped out at me with this read….why tne fuck did Kellie name Willa godmother to her first kid? WTF?

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4 strong ****

He was sorry for the exposure?!

She got hurt?!

She cheated and it was just sex and pranks?! She is total slut! Who wants kids exposed to that?

He wanted kids now substitute.

He didn't try very hard to find another wife. Satisfied with self sufficiency. Then old age and all those regrets.

He still had sex with her knowing she was having sex with another man. You wrote him as a "man" that had no problem getting sloppy seconds. Was he annoyed that she cut him off from getting sloppy seconds? He was a willing cuck. Gross. 1*

Nicely written story. Reading the story I found mostly positive aspects in basically the M. C. Life and actions. Naturally some of the incidents where literally license ruled the story line…The staged crime scene. although intricate to a good tale, would not have fooled any normal police dept. Maybe Mayberry if Barney was chief investigated. Again made the story fun and a more engaging read. One disappointment was a ending where the “good guy” found true happiness and a bunch of kids. Will read more of this writers work. Thanks

3 stars - the first part was waaaay over the top to get attention and I did not like it one bit.

However, this second chapter is more of what I call a standard BTB story with not much new or unique.

The selfish, skanky, SLUT and ASSHOLE got pretty much exactly what they deserved, but Mark should have been allowed to live a life well loved with his own children. Then this would have been a 5 star.

You also should have added 'CUCKOLD & SLUT' to the story tags, because he knew his wife was cheating, but still fucked her before he left. That to me, is the worst thing he could have done.

Do I like the story? No! Do I recognise good writing and valuable social content? Absolutely!!! 5/5

Clever.

What a load of crap.

She got off easy

Okay I would have knocked her fucking feminist fangs down her cock sucking throat.

Other than Mark destroying his wife it seems he never really attained happiness. 3/3

Really unsatisfactory ending. The story itself had some interesting points, but overall, he failed. Sure he outs his wife but what does that gain him? More miles on the RV? Better to screw her out of the corporation, let Dale have her and find someone that actually loved him and wanted his kids. He ends up well-to-do and alone. Not exactly the happy ending he was looking for.

Several point. The ruse he did was one that law enforcement would have at least made him pay for the expense. The story was mostly from Mark's point of view. here you have a woman that can run and revise a failing company and she didn't discuss her feelings with the therapist? Unlikely, the affair had much more that some dumb cheater. Yes, it was portrayed a bit like this, however she had deep misgiving about her marriage. Finally, Mark who also was an astute businessman described a ploy that with anyone investigating but Barney of Mayberry would have fallen apart in days. Sorry. Average for the beginning but sad for the last 1.5 chapters. BTRH...

Love?! She always prioritized boss first.

Talk/ sex/ass vs put downs/laying there with lube etc. No!!!

Pranks!!! Old school and USMC. Pranksters need corrective attitude adjustment and USMC methods of application. Prank me or friends!! Not happening. Pranks are not funny when you are demeaning another

He gave her the GUN collection? I'm calling bullshit right there.

Started off good but lost it way, the fact Mark wanted her back if she agreed to have children was just beyond stupid that just suspend belief. it just seem to go no where fast but I gave it 3 star for effort⭐️⭐️⭐️

The story was a little more than far fetched to a point, it fairly well written. My disappointment is the way Mark and Willa faded into a future of both being seemingly lost to themselves. No one special in either life and yet it seemed that there still might be some lingering love behind the stonewall of Mark - who never found, or never made the effort, to find another love. Willa continued to chase Mark and want him back - forever - and she also never made any effort to find another life long love.

So sad that two broken hearts remain broken, and yet neither ever filled the empty hurt. Is that lack of trust, forgiveness, pride, continued revenge, selfishness; or just stupidness to accept living a life of mostly loneliness? Sad, very sad, and how I have witnessed the same a number of times through my older years! Single and sometimes isolated folks not wanting too or afraid to take the first step of healing!

I still have my hurt and a hollow heart from pushing away my 1st love and wife 35 years ago - for really no good reason. Oh to hold her and look in her beautiful eyes and tell her how foolish I was and how much I have always regretted what I caused; and it is no longer possible as she has passed without her ever hearing my words. I am misty and I so hurt❤️

SW

2/3 of a good story. I am confused as to why Willa would even want to get back together with Mark. He outed her, she was humiliated and she clearly has Timmons best interests at heart. Mark, on the other hand, should have been sure to run away from her every time he saw her. She is poison, self absorbed and has no idea of what love actually is. She is a whore at best.

Mark would bever make it to freedom again. He'd be so overwhelmed with processes from all people involved, plus the DA, Police and other public organs, he'd never do anything again but to try and defend himself.

Author went way out. The fantasy became nonsense.

Excellent!!!! 5+++++/5!!!

All the time Mark was taking the kids on camping trips, to the amusement park and teaching them how to play baseball, what was their FATHER doing? Dumb ending.

The little sit down at the office confused me. Why were they talking about children? She had been banging her boss while intentionally neglecting, disrespecting, and laughing at him for months why the fuck are they talking about what type of marriage they will have if they do get back together? What... in... the... entire... fuck? The only conversation they should be having is a divorce settlement. I wouldn't want any kids with a woman like this, if she was the last tramp on earth. She doesn't love him. She just didn't want to be alone. Nobody who love their spouse will not only have an affair. But let their lover dictate her and her(the man she claim she love) sex life. She laughed at him sitting there not getting any, while she's fuckung her boss 2-3 times a day. The fuck you say? I feel like he should've just told her to choke on a sick dick and die. Also, umm, him framing his wife for murder would in fact be a crime. He wasted police time, man hours and embarrassed the D.A. a warrant would've been issued for his arrest. Do you remember the hot air balloon idiot that claimed his kid was in a runaway hot air balloon? The boy was found hidden in the house. The dad wanted to go viral. The police didn't find it funny one bit. I thought the payback was stupid and useless. He still ened up having to give her half. He could've easily just invited everyone (Dale's wife included) to the surprise party and out them in front of family and friends. It would've had the same effect, without pissing off the D.A. I didn't really feel any emotions in this story. I didn't care for the ending. He still don't get his happy ever after. The story was a bit boring.

Great Story !!!! I couldn’t stop reading it. A slightly sad ending but life is hard. Sometimes we never the things that we want the most .

Interesting story. Kept me reading. Gave you 5 stars. Do I agree with some of your twists and turns? Not necessarily, but I enjoyed them. You are the writer, it is your story. Had an unfaithful wife many, many years ago. Resolved it with a divorce, met a lady a number of years later, married her, and we are still married to this day. We are in out late 70's.

I'm a cheated on husband who got a divorce and never outed his ex to the family. I remarried to a good woman with 4 kids that lasted 40 years. I believe that all cheaters should be 'outed' so to speak but I never did it to my ex but today I am considering it. Why would you just like our man in this story? Is it a matter of wanting a little respect or a little revenge? Should I care what my daughters (of the first marriage think) or not? It has been 40 years. Whatever you think this was a good story and the guy did come clean with his plot, after all he could have remained silent and let them go to jail. His wife and her lover should have been thankful and kissed his ass.

While I enjoyed the story up to a point I am a hopeless romantic at heart. That does not mean I want the cheapened on husband to be a voluntary cuckold or someone that forgives and forgets and takes back his lying cheating slut whore of a wife. I prefer BTB stories but I am good with some reconciliation stories. Unfortunately this story was neither, ok some BTB but..... Maybe it was a more real life ending but I do not read these stories for nonfiction but for entertainment, therefore I want a happy ending for the protagonist, the cheated on husband. I think this story would have been much improved if the husband in his wanderings had meet a good woman and had his desired children even if he still needed to divorce the cheating whore so he could marry the good woman.

I think my Anonymous comments are much the same as a throw away cell phone, protects my anonymity.

I enjoyed reading this series. It was well-written and very entertaining. Sadly, we live in a world where negativity is so predominant. I disagree with the "anonymous" negative comments. I appreciate all the hard work Famers_Son has done in crafting this story and all his stories.

Did not think much of it. The author should read more Literotica stories as there are better and legal ways to expose and humiliate the cheating wife and to avenge the actions of her lover.

Dissatisfied with ending.

Not a happy ending as you said in the first part but not a badly written ending at all even if it was a bit of a downer. I was kinda wondering if he'd take his wife back, if she'd finally learn how bad she messed up but unfortunately she really didn't even at the end. I gave it a 4 because its it really didn't need a downer ending, the main character still could have had his happy ending even if it wasn't with Willa, and the boss guy never got any revenge visited upon.

Nah, just too lame to embrace this story. He allowed the greedy arrogant selfish bitch to fuck up his entire life, robbing him of a family. He was a good man with plenty to offer a good woman. He should have found one. Guess in the end Willa was all he deserved. Serves him right. You allow shit heads to steer your life you deserve a shitty life. Uncle, god father? Loser.

Thanks for the effort.

This series is too stupid for the scores it gets.

As many have pointed out, how did she get the job after working with Dale?

Are both Kellie and her husband orphan and grew up in orphanage with no contact with anyone else in their family? To have both Mark and especially Willa be godparents aren't making any sense at all.

Worse, for it to end in cliffhanger like that is just infuriating. Isn't having his own family the point of his story.

Getting rid of the wife was obvious but I dont get why he never had kids?? Is it because the author doesnt like men that have a happy family after divorcing a cheating slut??

Who continued the payments on his life insurance.?As none

would be made by his wife as she did not know about it,it would automatically lapse and couldn't be used as an excuse for murder

She denies him any chance to have his own children. That alone makes her a horrible person. Mark needs to find better woman and start that family. Unlike Willa, he has all the time in the world. One day she will be ousted from her position an she won't be able to stop it. Then she can find comfort with a dog or a bunch of cats. She will love it when Mark returns with a new younger wife and at least one child.

I think I would tell Kelly that since she named Will a godmother of same child that Mark was godfather of,she should forget about him being godfather and stop trying to get him and the cheating whore together in any way, or she can resign as COO! Fucking meddling women think they should fix things that he doesn't want anything to do with!

2nd read. I liked it. Not the first fake his death story but different enough. It felt like you wanted others to finish it more than you wanted to tell a whole story though. Most people finish other another writer’s story because they aren’t happy with it.

Nice second chapter. Needs completion..

Were just as stupid as the rest of the idiots here. Did anyone say 'Send in the Clowns?' "With Dale gone there was no one at the helm so Willa had stepped up and taken the job as helmsman and had brought the company back from the brink of bankruptcy. The board of directors supported her wholeheartedly. She was paid well. She was paid so well that she didn't need to gut Mark's company to maintain her lifestyle." Like there is a chance she would still have a job or they could stay afloat since every one of their customers would desert them after the public exposure.

What was the BS about Kellie and her husband making her the godmother? She's a great roll model for their kids now isn't she? I know this was fiction but how about a little reality in some of the details here? Signed: BTW

Thank god there was no reconcilliation. Gawd in these stories the woman's actions are so abhorrent that it goes against any conceivable measure of the imaginations why a man would willingly try and resume a relationship with such a viper.

This chapter just seems off to me. Willa’s explanation just seemed like pointless whining. Why would Mark’s CEO want his cheating ex-wife as her child’s godmother? The two women hardly had much to do with each other in the story. Doesn’t the CEO have any close relatives?

i was kind of expecting a happy ending for Mark but i guess u cant have it all..

Timmons, the company, didn’t seem large enough to have a board of directors. Nor did it seem large enough to come under the scrutiny of the SEC.

Meh. One thing I never understand is why these guys just leave everything to the wife just to get away from them. Is a u-haul just too damn hard to figure out?

Well written but for such length story I expected more conclusion. I see why you invited other to provide one.

You've written better

Our intrepid hero filed no police report, false or otherwise.

i was expecting that she would understand and finally leave her job and get back with her husband unfortunately the ending dint fit right still feels the story is incomplete

Willa turns out to be an empty headed slut. When she wasn’t being a whore for her boss she became a whore to his business. She never would learn that business doesn’t care for you. Just a thing. Like she was Dale’s fuck-toy she also became a fuck toy for the company. Very sad.

Not a satisfying story. Unrealistic. Sad actually.

She flat lost her mind in thinking that her boss and company was her life, totally treating her husband like a sideshow/lackey. His revenge was perfect and spot on, she was so lost into her ME BOSS fantasy she forgot what was important. Good riddance.

How in the world could see think that fucking another man and submitting to his desire for her to cut her husband off from sex was a good "prank"? This just goes beyond the possibility in a rational mind.

pt 3 is needed so that they can some more sense out of this

She has a bloated sense of self worth, while he’s treated like the butler. Funny how she claims to love him and yet she fucks her boss like he’s her husband.

That was a bit of fun but...godmother? WTF? And HELL no she doesn’t get his guns.

This is the third story I've read from this author and the third time it's just ended with some cryptic "did something nice happen in the future? Maybe!" garbage ending. This does not make for a satisfying story. Essentially all we're being given is a series of events and people's reactions to them with no real climax or resolution. I'll be skipping the rest of this author's stories, personally. I don't foresee him writing a satisfying conclusion any time soon.

1. Dale was really good as a con man if his PA, who spent a ton of time with him working on company business (and not company business), didn't know the state of the business.

2. Those businessmen who would no longer do business with Dale had no problem dealing with his mistress/former PA instead. She was, in their minds, untouched by the financial scandal and they were not suspicious of her having worked with Dale so closely. In negotiations, nobody ever tries to take advantage of a notorious adulteress.

3. How did Dale's ex feel about the "other woman" calling the shots?

im a romantic, so wanted a happy ending with requisite grovelling and making amends by the wife>

still enjoyable though

As some others have noticed, there are some things about this that just don’t work. For example, why would Mark need to admit to filing a false police report, when he didn’t file any report with the police? A little thing, but there are enough little things like this to spoil the story a bit.

More importantly, a lot of things about his plot seemed off. For example, when he planned it, we were told that he wanted o embarrass the cheaters publicly, but later we were told that he hadn’t anticipated that Willa’s relationships with her family would be damaged. Really. How could you not expect relationships to be harmed if people thought you were a murderer?

With that said, however, I appreciate an author’s effort to try something new, even if that means he or she tries thing that occasionally don’t work. I only point these things out to help the author continue to write good stories. I enjoy his work, and just think this was not up to his usual standard. I look forward to more good stories in the future.

Overall, it’s a decent storyline. Some parts were ridiculously simplified - like a year of probation after causing the waste of hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars. Without much dialog, it’s difficult to sympathize with any of the characters. That said, Willa is a damaged and deranged woman in dire need of help. Then there’s the part that makes no sense at all: why would Kellie name Willa as a godparent? She didn’t even like the woman, and disliked how she treated Mark.

OTOH, at least there wasn’t a reconciliation. Mark nuked that bridge. Then again, why was Willa fighting the divorce? It wasn’t going to restore any friendships or recreate family support from people who thought that she deserved her punishment.

the cheating whore has a new job as CEO that than ever, and the stpuid husband stil gves her the house and all other real property as well as all non business accounts?

WHY?

I can see offering all that to get the cunt to sign quick and bounce, but if she insists on dragging it out, going so far as to insure his arrest, why not make sure she doesnt get one cent more than half?

instead of a VP or a hot shot workout specialist to save the company, they chose the PA who was fucking the boss who disappeared with the SEC on his tail? Oh yeah, happens all the time (seriously fucking bs).

Why did they have counselling.?They had been seperated for over a year,therefore the divorce is a slam dunk.Also Kellie running the company on her own for a year is bullshitas is the convenient pregnancy.Who would run the company in her absence if she was that important.?

u made a bad story worse, on a good note the last 4 paragraphs were ok. i have seen so many ups and downs with the writers on this site, this one was (meaning pt1 and 2) was not what im use to reading from u. idk maybe u had the flu or something

But must say it was worthwhile sticking around and reading. You story was great, writing was good.

Hope you write many more stories, but keep them on solid ground with realistic activities.

5* for this chapter.

Liked it overall, but I thought some aspects got repeated, in the same detail, too much. Also, there were a lot of details that did not forward the narrative much, or at all. Only once were her protestations of continued love for Hubby in evidence to a small degree. Hubby’s ‘sabbatical’ was a lot odd. After ‘fessing-up’ to the hoax, it made little or no sense to suddenly develop wanderlust.

I agree with the comments about too much narration. Dialogue should carry most of the theme weight most of the story.

Some good bits and parts to this. However you need to look at the detail you gave us as part of the whole, to carry the story. It never arrived.

The premis is a good one. The narrative writing is excessively formal, there is too little dialogue and to much detail.

Research "show don't tell" and you'll see what I mean. While you're there check out "kill your darlings".

I ordinarily let the author tell the story and immerse myself in his world. I may not agree with what his characters are saying or doing, but it's the author's story...not mine.

However, for possibly the first time, I was prompted to say, out loud, "WHY?" when Willa was made godmother to Kellie's child. There is no rational explanation for that action in the universe the author created.

A sad story that really did not work . She was a person with a personality disorder a socicalpath, needed intense physiological therapy, he also needed help. Both characters were lost. He ran and let someone else run his business. Never had moved on and marriages as he wanted a family. And how can you write ishe also was made a godmother.and how can she rescue a business that everyone hated her and why wasn’t she fired when all the shit hit the fan.so she worked her live for a business she didn’t own and took lovers for her sexual needs and got a dog to keep her bed warm. So who walked this poor dog as she was working her life away and never got it together and took his suggestions on a dog and lover. Just nuts.

This bitch was nuts. I know I'd certainly consider taking her back if told she'd plotted to kiss me with his cum in her mouth. NOT!

I thought it was an odd story and a bit clunky/mechanical. Then I read, did I really read, the ex was a godmother? WTF????

They are both a couple of fucked up twisted assholes and should be together cuz no one else could possibly want either of them for very long and then they should both die killing each other