All Comments on 'Blooming Lily Pt. 07'

Still doesn't seem to understand these are all three very different kinks. And Luke if he is an experienced trainer I am not getting it. Little girl, pet and slave no wonder poor LIly is having whiplash. Wouldn't surprise if next she tries to escape permanently I suppose since it's non consent the idea is too make them all sadistic bastards why in the world would lily want to stay unless forced. Why I suppose makes it non con.

I hope once the author finishes this series maybe in the next do a little more research instead of throwing in the kitchen sink because the writing is good the plot not so much. Even thought Johnny boy seems to at least get why she would try To escape.

You seen to have really listened to some of your feedback and made an attempt to fix problems. I agree your writing is good and there's lots of potential here. I just wish, as a previous comment mentions, you hadn't tried to put so many different roles into the story. If they were all training her to be a pet, or simply a slave, it would flow so much easier. But despite my issues I keep coming back because I'm engaged at this point, I was happy to see a new chapter and interested to see what was happening.

I like this story but still wish she would tell them off more or talk or something cause they need to know that she does think they are monsters cause even if her body likes it her mind doesn't I know this is in non con. You kind of touched on it here what would they do if in her place. I guess I love non con stories but I'm always cheering for the victims hope that made sense and hope she dosent give in to soon don't get me wrong don't mind if she does eventually but they need to work for it please update soon a

I have been eagerly waiting for this story to continue. I am really enjoying this story. I like how smoothly it flows with action and conversation. This was a nice long chapter. Hoping to see more of this story soon.

I've been checking back often for this story. Really enjoying it, and compared to others I actually enjoy all the varied roles there are. So intrigued to see how Luke's night goes!

I've been checking back everyday and I was so happy to see the new chapter this morning!! Beautiful addition to the story. I love that the boys have changed their positions a bit and are explaining things more to lily and allowing her to give her submission closer to her own rate and comfort level, and that we see more interaction between them and are able to get an idea of their perspective. I'm very very excited to see how luke progresses throughout the day, given the new arrangement. Beautiful beautiful writing, this is still my favorite story on this site and truly unique. And don't let any commenter tell you it's unrealistic. I am a little, a pet, and a masochist to my Daddy and Master and I'm excited to see how lily blossoms in these roles (pardon the pun). It's nice to see someone on this site understands that a sub can fit more than one role. Again, wonderful installment of this series and Ill be checking back for the next chapter!!!

I enjoyed this chapter and look forward to your next

You have a good idea. But you're trying to develop characters that truly have no character. Explaining is good yada yada yada but if there's going to be in-fighting between the three, you're going to be creating a completely new story separate from this poor girl's plight. And as another person commented why is she not stepping up more. I'm totally confused that these men have been waiting for her that she was sold to them, but yet they were willing to let her leave; of course dropped off in the middle of nowhere without resources and no idea of how to take care of herself is really not really much of a choice. What I found interesting in this chapter was the horrible sentence structure. I found more than rookie mistakes. I feel that this writing was very much immature and poorly conceived grammatically. Maybe you were distracted with the holidays or you truly wanted to get this out asap, but this chapter seems unpolished lacking either an additional read or a friendly editor. Please don't dumb down your work with poor choices. Nothing is worse then trying to distract yourself from the day and having to pause, trying to figure out what an author is expressing.

I was so excited to see that this story updated!! And I was pleasantly surprised at how long the chapter was. I really enjoy your writing style, and find it very easy to read. I can feel myself getting attached to the characters, and I’m excited to see where this is headed next. This is my fave story on here!!

The story is fine but you must get a proofreader or an editor. Your catastrophic overuse of commas damages the story line.

We've had a lot of exposition, Pls pls pls bring on the sex. I like the story tho!! Super glad you updated

I was so incredibly excited to see that you had updated this story! I have been checking everyday and this update certainly did not disappoint. It was super intense and I felt so bad for Lily! I really hope Luke treats her well and doesn't scare her past the point of forgiveness.

I just wanted to say that I really think you should ignore some of the criticism you have received in other reviews. Your characters are developing wonderfully, each with their own unique personality. Small grammar/punctuation mistakes really make no difference - almost every story written has a few. This story is by far one of the most interesting I have read lately. Please don't let anonymous criticisms bother you.

Hope you had a happy holiday season! I look forward to the next instalment. Hope it's soon! ;)

Nice job on this chapter. I don't read stories on this website for a lesson in grammar. Your style is readable, and didn't distract me from the story. Looking at it again based on other comments, maybe there are to many commas. But it didn't distract me at all.

Nice job.

Numerous spelling and grammar mistakes really do distract the reader from the story. One of the comments was an offer to edit by an English teacher and you should consider it. If you want to be a writer and want people to enjoy your story, grammar, spelling and story line all have to be in order or the flow of the story is broken and will turn readers away. All of your mistakes are easily caught and correctable by a proofreader. Do not ignore the negative comments, learn from them.

Mmmm, I love your tasty stories. More please! =-p

This is my favorite story and I am so happy you added another chapter! I cant wait to see how the night unfolds. Thank you for sharing this with us. I really enjoy it!

You've written a very good story. As a first effort at writing, this is excellent. I like your character development and the setting with 3 contrasting masters and 1 slave. This is a delicious mix. Bravo.

Please do not be unduly persuaded by the comments on too many commas. I strongly agree that comma over-use should be avoided, but I feel that your commas were generally accurate, appropriate, and appreciated. I assure you that they added value to your story. Good job.

Here are a couple of minor writing tips I'd like to share with you.

TIP #1: Handling Quotes

You seem to be struggling with integrating quotes into your sentences. Consider this quote beginning the 3rd paragraph of this chapter:

Yours: "Good morning, Sir." She said softly...

Did she say that softly, or is she beginning to speak softly?

Consider this: "Good morning, Sir," she said softly...

Note the comma after Sir and 'she' is not capitalized.

Likewise: She said softly, "Good morning, Sir."

First word in quote is capitalized.

And: "Are you defying me?" he asked with a smirk.

Comma dropped in favor of other punctuation.

Tip #2: Begin With Names In New Paragraphs

In each new paragraph, it is good practice to address each person by name on their first mention. Thereafter, pronoun or name is acceptable. Repeated pronouns refer to the last person addressed by name in that paragraph for that gender.

Hope you find my tips helpful.

Thank you for writing such an interesting and enjoyable story.

- J

Hi there, it's your biggest fan here. You even inspired me to start writing my own (not very good so far) story. I still love your story so much - but I need some action. They do so much explaining and calming (although I know other readers have asked for this so they don't just traumatize her) but where's the beef? as that old commercial went. It's probably just my own impatience. You're great.

I like the fact that you made luke more understanding and caring. As submissive I can understand Lilly's fears and with her background, see how he comes off as a monster to her. Hopefully she comes to understand that he's not.

I agree with most of the comments already posted. I believe an experienced sub would have a hard time with 3 masters with 3 very different styles. Plus, she gets no time to herself. Each guy has 4 days off because they each get 2 personal day and one shared day. She gets no time to herself for down time with out one of them watching or correcting. Again, even an experienced sub would have an issue with that and feel broken.

Question? How can Luke be an experienced trainer? He reminds me of a frat boy just wanting to spank pledges. Damien would have made the better sadist. He is cool, collected, patient and stern...the perfect sadist. Luke is like an immature child. I can't believe he's an experienced slave trainer. All of them frustrate me because if they are so well trained ans they want it to be consented they're handling a her wrong. She's a freaking virgin and they come in with all these kinks upset she isn't grateful for them. What?? I think Johnny Boy (I hate the boy part) gets it and Damien may begin to but Luke? He needs some retraining himself.

These guys are 100% rapists. She can't actually consent to anything if she knows she can't leave. Holding her down and telling her to stop fighting, like she's going back on a contract she made, except she didn't because they fucking kidnapped her. If they had any of the compassion they pretend to have, they'd have given her her freedom, taught them their lifestyle on her terms, then asked her to join them willingly, like all other real submissives. The way their pushing her to accept of this within just a few hours of her bid for freedom from her last abusive relationship is just awful. I kept reading this far hoping they would see that because they seemed reasonable at times, but they are delusional. This is not a D/s relationship, this is sex trafficking.