All Comments on 'Blowjob Universe Ch. 02'

by Grossman1

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8 Comments

Anonymousabout 11 years ago

Well that sucked.

This is the worst written piece of crap that I've ever seen.

Seriously, this is an awesome concept, but the fact that it goes from second person to third person and back, not to mention the paragraph and contextual errors, makes this suck!

First off, when you're writing don't go from "You" to "David" and back, is it me or is it David?

Second, your descriptions of the blowjobs are terrible, lacking in detail and overall representation of the characters and their development is just brutal.

Finally, while you have a great concept, please get someone to edit this, add detail and keep your sentences in line as well as add to the story development and concept.

Grossman1 about 11 years agoAuthor

hahaha

Wow, lol, thanks for the feedback, regardless of how negative it is.

I just want to make this clear: I'm writing SMUT, disgusting fantasy stories about women wrongly being sexually objectified and mistreated.

If you want a complete story which has no clerical errors, go to Barnes and Noble and pick up "Self Psychology" by Peter Lessem. It may help you explain why you spend so much time writing such critical reviews of bad blowjob stories on a free erotica site.

I'm a caveman, I bang on my keyboard until a story comes out, which I then post here.

Freson about 11 years ago

Thank You

Thank you for writing such an incredible story, and thank you for calling out someone who holds his shameless smut to far too high a literary standard. Don't get me wrong, you've written an absolutely beautiful masterpiece, but it's still a story to get off to. You don't need themes or symbolism or really much of anything, as long as the story is hot and the writing can be understood.