Blue Ridge Romance Ch. 02: Darlene

A few days later I went to City Hall and applied for a demolition permit. Since I had no plans to rebuild on the lot, it was granted in two days. Mike Crews helped me find somebody with a demolition business to level it and fill in the basement. Within two weeks all that remained was a pile of dirt.

At the next City Council meeting I offered ownership of the lot to the town if they would allow me put sod down and build a pitch for the local youth soccer program. It would take the last of my grandfather's inheritance to pay for it, but I was trying to do something positive to counteract Darlene's betrayal. The vote for approval was unanimous.

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Two weeks later found me sitting at the Window Visit Center in the Hazelton Correctional Center.

Bobby Jenkins came in and sat down on the other side of the glass, all tough guy attitude. His hand was bandaged but he otherwise looked none the worse for wear. He picked the phone up. "What do you want, fuck face? Gonna hit me with a baseball bat again?"

I smiled. "No, I came to warn you in person that since you fucked up my life, I'm going to come back on you hard."

He sneered. "Not much you can do to me when I'm inside, dumbfuck, unless you're a guard or an inmate."

I pressed a piece of paper to the glass with some names on it. "You're a scumbag, but you still have family on the outside. I saw your 78-year-old father Norman's been living in a rented trailer over in Falling Springs for the past twelve years. Well, I just bought the trailer from the owner; your old man'll be evicted next week.

I've also put the word out to some key people in the local property manager network that it's risky to rent to him since his son's a convicted thief and drug dealer so, in case you get out on parole you might be living with him. He's going to have a hard time finding a place that will take him now."

Bobby sat up straight, a panicked look on his face. "Hey, dude, no, he had nothing --"

"And I saw your sister Jessie lives in Cedar Grove, works at Wally's Drugs. I spoke to the owner Wally Dunkirk, who's a friend of my boss. In exchange for a generous contribution to his son's college fund, your sister's cash register is going to come up short and she'll be fired. Tough break, huh?"

"Man, you can't do that, Jessie's a single mom. Fuck, man, she needs that job!"

"And I also found out your baby brother Lawrence still works in the mine. You remember, the mine you got fired from? The union foreman is a good friend of mine, and he's plenty upset at how you fucked me over. From now on, Lawrence is going to be permanently assigned to the graveyard shift, doing cleanup and grunt work. He's going to be a night owl for a long, long time."

"Aw, no, man, Larry never did nothing wrong. I kept him on the straight and narrow! I didn't want him to end up like me!" Bobby's face was pure panic now. It felt good.

"Also, Bobby, today I had a nice talk with the head guard here and made a generous donation to the Prison Guard's Benevolent Society. I suggest you don't do anything to piss the guards off, 'cause they'll be keeping an eye on you." No longer cocky, his eyes were filled with fear now.

"It's payback time, bitch," I said, "I hope it was worth it." I dropped the receiver and walked away as Bobby started screaming curses at me.

++++++++++

A week or so after I visited Bobby, when I walked in my house after work I found a letter that slid under my door. It was addressed to me in feminine handwriting, with no return address.

I opened it up. It was from Darlene. I had avoided thinking about her because her betrayal still hurt like hell. I crumpled the letter up and threw it in the wastebasket unread, but a couple of minutes later curiosity got the better of me and I picked it up and smoothed it out as best I could.

"Dear Ray,

You may have heared after I got arrested I was put on probation. One condition of my probation is going through a narcotics detox program. This letter is part of my program. I'm writing because I'm trying to make amends to them that I harmed as a result of my drug use. I know that I hurt you bad by taking up with Bobby and destroying everything you tried to do for me. I had never met no one quite like you, someone who loved me for who I was. Because I never had that before, it made me feel like I owed you something. Bobby's talking and the drugs I took twisted my mind and made me resent you.

Now that I got sober and away from Bobby I seen that you didn't expect nothing from me other than wanting me to love you back. I seen now how you always been a good man and treated me good since the day we met and I would love to be your wife. But what I done with Bobby ruined it all, didn't it? For this, I am deeply sorry.

I know sometimes apologies are more hurt than happy but l'd like the chance to apologize to you in person. That way we could talk about how I hurt you and what I can do to make things right. I heard you tore down that house you bought for me. You must have been hurtin' real real bad to do that. If you don't think you can forgive me, or not want contact with me no more, I understand. Please know that I'm really so sorry for what I done to you and if your open to it I'd like to do whatever I can to make amends with you.

If you can find it in your heart to allow it, please tell Mrs. Swensen. She is the only person in town who knows where I am; I am trying to stay out of sight for a while to keep away from bad influences and stay good. If you can't, this letter will be my only attempt to contact you because I don't want to hurt you no more than I already have.

Love, Darlene"

I noticed there were tear stains on the letter, making the ink blur a little. My eyes were watery, the tears might have been mine.

That's when I caught a familiar scent and two warm hands on my back, now rubbing my shoulders. Then I heard Faith Swensen's voice. I'm guessing she had probably delivered the letter and then waited for me to come home and read it.

"I talked to her. She still loves you, Ray. I told you when you first met her that she'd never had anyone treat her that way before. I was worried she'd have some trouble trusting you, but I had no idea she'd do what she did. I think Bobby getting out on parole turned a delicate situation into a terrible one."

"Still loves me? That's a laugh," I responded. My voice sounded even more bitter than I expected. "She actually thinks I'd want to see her again? With her shaved head and her whore tattoos? Every time I'd look at her, every time I'd hear her voice it would remind me that she chose a junkie over me and, even worse, publicly shamed me. How can I forgive that?"

Faith walked around in front of me, and suddenly sat on my lap with her arms around my neck. I was taken by surprise. "Faith, what are you doing? I thought..." She silenced me with a kiss.

"Ray, after all you've done for me and Kurt I got no right to ask you this, but please meet with her. Do it for me."

"Do it for YOU? Whatever for? What connection do you have with that junkie whore?"

Her beautiful eyes rimmed with tears and her voice became choked with emotion. "Darlene's my granddaughter," she whispered.

Suddenly the fact they both had the same stunning blue eyes made perfect sense. Faith went on, "Her daddy was so evil, but I trusted my daughter to take care of her. Instead, she made a real mess of it. I was estranged from my daughter and her family for years until she died of a heart attack. After the burial, poor lost Darlene came to me for help, and we reconciled. Nobody in town knows we're related 'cept my sisters, Hope and Charity.

My daughter moved away when Darlene was 8 years old, I didn't see her again until she was 19 after her mother died. I sent her some money so she could move back to town; nobody knew her as an adult and she could start over. Because I recommended her she got a job at Top Hair and seemed to be doing well until she met Bobby. He started her doing drugs, but before it got too bad he got arrested and sent away. I thought we'd seen the last of that bastard. She dated a few men, probably a few too many, and she got bad reputation. Then she met you.

When I heard you were courting her the old-fashioned way, I was over the moon. She needed that, to be treated with respect, loved and adored. You did everything right, Ray. Absolutely everything. But it was such a new experience she didn't know how to feel about it. She confessed to me one night how happy she was but also told me she was scared that she might mess it up. Then that scumbag Bobby Jenkins come back into the picture, damn him to hell. Why they would give that little shit parole escapes me, but with the prison overcrowding, I guess I should have expected it. He got her back on the drugs and poisoned her mind against you. I can't say it was all his fault, because she allowed him to. And she did exactly what she was afraid of. She messed up the best thing she ever had.

After Bobby went back to prison and she got probation, I got her into a detox program. It's expensive, I'll most likely be cleanin' houses the rest of my life but my daughter is gone, and Darlene's the only future I got. I can't leave her, no matter what bad things she done. Now she's lost you, she sees what might have been, what the drugs have cost her. Remorseful doesn't begin to cover how she feels. So please, Ray, I'm beggin' you to meet with her, at least allow her to tell you how sorry she is. I know it won't change your feelings one damned bit, but if it will help my granddaughter to heal - that's all that matters to me. I'll clean your house for the rest of my life for free if you want; hell, I'll do anythin' you want me to, but please do this for me. Please."

She buried her face in my chest, tears leaving little wet spots on my shirt as she sobbed quietly on my lap. My eyes were teary as well. I kissed the top of her head. "All right, Faith. I'll do it for you."

She lifted her face and smiled; her beautiful blue eyes were moist with tears. I kissed her on the lips, and my cock began to rise. I reached up and began to unbutton her blouse.

"Ray, now, that's not..." she began to whisper, but I kissed her again, deeply. I was overcome with emotion, not lust but affection. Yes, she was married, but I still had feelings for her. She had been my guardian angel all these months. I took her to my bedroom, undressed her, laid her back and made slow, sweet love to her. In a highly emotional state, we both came quickly. Faith had always been good to me since I arrived in Hanson. No matter how bitter or angry I was, I couldn't let her down.

As we lay in each other's arms afterwards, Faith whispered "There's something else you need to know. When they checked her in to the facility, they gave her a physical. Turns out Darlene's six weeks pregnant. Given the timing, she's not sure if the daddy is you or Bobby."

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I sat alone at a table in a small conference room at the facility on the outskirts of Charleston. How ironic that her rehab clinic was in the city where I truly fell in love with her.

Darlene walked in and sat down across the table from me. I looked at her hair first thing. The destroyed hair style was one of the images that stuck with me that night, the other being that nasty red devil tattoo. What had started as a vindictive hack job had been reshaped into a decent cut, one far beyond the capabilities of Mary Anne and Eve over at Top Hair. I suspected Faith had taken her somewhere locally who knew what they were doing in preparation of our meeting. The sides of her head had grown out a little where Bobby had shaved them, and length remaining on the top was now styled a bit in a nice contrast to the short length of the sides. The cut looked very good and highlighted her big blue eyes.

She was wearing simple leather sandals, jeans, and a baggy blouse with long sleeves but I still managed to glimpse the "Bobby's Girl" tattoo on her left wrist, even though she was trying to keep it covered.

"Isn't Faith joining us?" I asked.

"Faith done enough just getting you here," she replied softy. "I have to be strong now and do what I need to do on my own."

"OK..."

"First of all, thank you for coming. I really appreciate it. It may not be of much benefit to you, but it helps me a lot."

I could say nothing; too many conflicting emotions were boiling inside me. I just nodded in acknowledgement.

"Because of my situation growing up, I never had no confidence, and so I'd go with any boy who smiled at me. These boys wasn't really interested in me, they was only interested in sex. Even though it got me attention, I hated myself. When they wanted to have sex, I just give it to them. When they offered me weed and pills, I took 'em. When I started dating Bobby, he got me on hard drugs. After he went to prison, I joined a church support group and got sobered up and quit drugs. Then I met you. I swear, Ray, I didn't do no drugs while we was together except after Bobby came back."

I raised my head and looked her in the eyes, but I had no words.

"Nobody ever treated me like you did, Ray. You took the time to get to know me, treated me so nice, and even trusted me to cut your hair! You never called me names, talked down to me, made me feel stupid, or forced me to have sex with you. I really liked you, but I couldn't understand why you were being so nice to me when most other men was cruel. I was happy, but I was confused. I didn't understand why you were being so good to me. I'd never had anyone really love me. I didn't believe I deserved it."

Tears were forming in her eyes. Or mine, I'm not sure, my vision was getting blurry.

"After Faith got me out of jail, she started tellin' me some of the things you done, how you helped her and a few other folks, and I realized the man I saw was real, not some well-off phony like Bobby said you was.

When Bobby came by, he said it was just to have coffee, then he poured some whiskey in our coffee cups, then when the coffee was gone it was straight whiskey, and not long after when we was good and drunk he opened up his kit and we shot up some heroin. All that time, he was telling me how much he loved me and missed me and wanted us to pick up where we left off. He got to telling me how you didn't really love me, how you were just a shitty rich company college boy who'd use me and then leave me when you moved back to Pittsburgh."

Suddenly my blood was up, and I was furious. "And after all the time we spent together, you actually BELEIVED that shit?" I replied angrily, trying not to shout.

"I was drunk and really fucked up, Ray. After being high for a few days straight, if'n Bobby told me I was gonna grow wings and fly, I would have believed him."

"Darlene, even if you were drunk or high, if you wanted to break up with me, why didn't you call and tell me directly? Why the big show at Jumbo's?"

"I didn't want to break up, Ray, but like I told you I was fucked up on heroin and confused. You got education, you're a good worker, you're generous, y'all are everything Bobby's not -- he hates you, so it wasn't enough to break us up, he wanted to humiliate you. He got my head all twisted around, talked me into thinking it was a good idea. He used me to get to you. The shaved head and tattoo were his ideas, and I was so fucked up I just went with what he said so he'd keep getting me my fix."

My anger was simmering now. "And so you deliberately went along with this plan, huh?" If Darlene's apology was supposed to help, it was failing. It just felt like she was repeatedly sticking a knife in my heart. I continued. "Bobby was right about one thing - I fucking hate that tattoo, and every time I think about it, it reminds me how he took you away from me. Laser removal on a tattoo that size will cost about $5,000, plus you shouldn't do it while you're pregnant because your hormones will make your skin extra-sensitive and it could cause skin damage."

Darlene looked at me quizzically, her head titling slightly. "Why Ray Durling, how in the world would you know such a thing? Is the cost of gettin' tattoos off pregnant women something they taught you in accounting school?"

She had me there. I struggled to explain, "I don't know, I mean, I researched it but I don't know why. Damn it, Darlene, what do you expect? I loved you, you were my future, I couldn't just stop thinking about you overnight. I'd been thinking about a lot of things with you."

She stood up, walked around to my side of the table and leaned back against it, facing me. "If you was thinking about me, you must still have feelings for me." She smelled clean and sweet, and it was all I could do not to pull her in to me and bury my face in the warmth of her body.

I put my elbows on the table and buried my face in my hands. "I just don't know, Darlene. I still hurt so much."

She undid the top two buttons on her blouse and pulled out a thin silver chain. Hanging on it was the diamond engagement ring I had thrown over my shoulder when I found her and Bobby together. She twirled it in her fingers nervously. "To help me get through the recovery program, I have to have goals. One of my goals is to earn your forgiveness, and maybe -- just maybe -- get you to love me again."

Taking my hand, she moved it under the blouse so I could feel the expanding skin on her pregnant belly. "This baby boy is going to need a daddy, Ray. I'd love for that daddy to be you."

She leaned down and kissed me. Oh, how I had missed those lips. But something in my rational mind held on, and I slowly pulled away. "Darlene, I'm sorry, but I'm still really hurting about the things you and your junkie boyfriend did. Please don't try and blackmail me with a child that's not mine. I mean, if DNA tests prove I am the daddy, I swear I'll take responsibility for it but don't expect much beyond that. And if that baby is Bobby's son and not mine, it will be Bobby's name as the father on the birth certificate. If he ever gets out of prison he'll have visitation rights. If that's the case I want nothing to do with this baby." She sighed then leaned down again and kissed my cheek.

"As hard as it is to believe Ray Durling, l still love you. Please don't give up on me, OK? Give me another chance."

I stood up to leave. "Darlene, the special times we had together were wonderful, but the really important thing in a relationship is when two people are totally comfortable with having each other, not thinking twice about leaning on each other, just because it feels right to be that way. I felt that way with you, and that's why I was about to ask you to marry me." I stopped for a breath, then hit her with the brutal truth.

"Do I still care about you? Yes, but after how cruel you were I don't think I can ever feel that way with you again." She looked at the floor; her face began to crumble; I walked out without looking back. As I walked out the door, I could hear her sobbing softly.