Blue Waters in Your Eyes

Levi held her a few minutes more, then withdrew his half-erect cock from her body. His weight eased off her as he left the bed. She stayed lying down. His seed began its predictable leak from between her legs, but she just curled up on her side and closed her eyes, listening as he moved around the room then went into the adjoining bathroom. The faucet began to run.

There were his returning footsteps, then his hands spread her legs apart. He put a warm damp washcloth to her entrance, dabbing her clean and wiping away the sticky seed smeared over her inner thighs. He left the bed again. When he returned for the second time, he shut the bathroom door and turned off all the lights.

Getting into bed, Levi wrapped his arm around her. Sybil lay her hand at his side, resting her palm on his scar. She put her cheek to his heart, enjoying its strong, steady beat. Tomorrow, when the routine began again, she'd be restless and edgy. But this moment, her world was right. Nothing was better than now.

His fingers threaded gently through her hair. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Levi."

**

The routine restarted the next morning; breakfast together, a kiss goodbye, waving him off at the front door, and immediately getting restless once his car disappeared. She did her errands, made dinner, then was satisfied again when he got home. This continued through the week.

On Friday afternoon, he phoned from the office to tell her he wouldn't be coming home alone. The team at the firm had gotten through all the bureaucracy a while ago, and ChemTech was distributing their patent new drug—something worth celebrating with a cocktail evening. Levi would be bringing home Joel Kildare and his wife, a Mr. Grant, an associate on the ChemTech team, and a Mr. Elliott, one of the ChemTech reps they'd worked closely with over the last year. Mrs. Elliott would be coming too. So would Ken Kildare.

All these were people Sybil had met before, and the evening went fine.

Ken Kildare was the same as when she met him last Monday. She didn't like him any better on this second meeting. He looked at her too much, smiled at her too frequently, and laid the charm thicker than cold margarine.

She knew Levi noticed, but he didn't seem upset. Rather, he seemed amused each time Ken tried to charm her. The amusement a lion might feel watching a cub flex its muscles. It made Sybil want to jump on him. To kiss his confident little smile and have him touch her everywhere. Later. Soon.

After dessert, she was gathering empty trifle cups into two trays, when Ken flexed again. Leaping from his chair, he whisked one of the trays out of her hand. It wasn't difficult to carry some empty trifle cups to the kitchen, so she'd have refused any offer of help. However, since Ken had already taken one tray from her, she had no choice but to thank him and lead the way to the kitchen.

He walked a step behind her, the conversation of the others fading as they left the dining room. For the first time, she was alone with him.

"Just leave the tray on the island," she said as they entered the kitchen.

Ken set the tray down where she indicated. "Sure you don't want me to carry it to the sink for you? I could help you rinse them if you like."

Sybil eyed him. This was why she was so turned off by men her own age. He reminded her of a desperate puppy. "You're a guest in my home, not my maid." Then because it came out sounding ruder than she intended, she smiled to soften the blow. "We have a dishwasher, and a maid will do the cleaning later. Besides, these trays don't go in the sink. They're silver so I'll wipe them down with a cloth and polish them. It's the trifle cups that should be washed with soap and water, but I'll do that myself."

"Okay. Did I mention how good the trifle was?"

"Yes. But really, they take only 10 minutes to whip up if you've got store-bought sponge cake lying around." Sybil loaded the dirty trifle cups into the sink and filled them with water to soak. Then, taking a cloth, she began polishing the silver trays.

Ken's eyes were on her all the while. "I hope you don't mind me complimenting you," he said at last. "But I've got to say your husband's lucky to have a wife like you. You're quite a girl."

There was heavy emphasis on the word 'girl.' It was this emphasis more than the compliment itself that made Sybil pause to give him the side-eye. He was calling her a 'girl'? When he was only two years older than her? Hell, even Levi didn't refer to her as a 'girl.'

It seemed Ken needed putting in his place.

"How nice of you," she began, pleasantly. She resumed her polishing. "You know, I don't think I've congratulated you on joining the firm. Just yesterday I was telling Levi how good it is that they're training you on the job instead of finding some older legal assistant."

She glanced at him to watch how he took the insult.

He took it laughingly. "Sad but true, I guess. I'm learning a lot and it's not half bad as first jobs go. I was down in the dumps before my luck turned around. Uncle Joel offered me the job at the firm the same day I got an offer from my older brother in D.C. His new-car dealership needs another salesman."

"Does your brother own the dealership?"

"No, his boss owns the place. But business was good and he wanted to expand and my brother gave him some of the capital, so he owns 15% of the dealership. He can throw his weight around a little now. Pull some strings. That's why he offered me the job."

"Well, you were lucky to get your pick of two good job offers on the same day." Sybil stacked the trays. "But just off the impression I get, I'd have thought you'd pick being a salesman over being a legal assistant."

"I like the idea of selling brand-new cars, but it wouldn't be all fun. I'd have to pack up and move to D.C. to live with my brother's family."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I don't know if I could live with her."

"Her who?"

"Jo-Ann. My brother's wife. She'd be hell to live with. She's old, she's never satisfied, and she nags too much. I don't know how my brother deals with her day after day."

Sybil thought about that. "Is she actually old or does she just seem that way to you?"

Ken's smile widened. "What difference does it make? I don't like her, she doesn't like me, and she doesn't really want me to live with them." He paused, looking into Sybil's eyes. "Besides, I'm glad I joined the firm instead and got to meet everyone connected with it. I'm excited about everything now. I haven't felt like this since High School was over."

Sybil didn't respond to this. She wasn't sure how to. Levi had said he was cutting Ken some slack because he wasn't 'crossing the line.' She wasn't sure where Levi drew that line, but this insinuation must be skirting close to it. After all, Ken had only said this because they were alone. She doubted he'd have said it if there was a chance of Levi overhearing.

"All done." She folded the dishtowel. "We should get back to the others."

She stepped away and headed for the door. He followed her, close as a shadow. In the dining room, the others were talking as before. Sybil resumed her place at the table, as did Ken.

The visitors left an hour later.

Thankfully, the next day was Saturday. Since the wedding, Saturday had become her favorite day of the week. It was the only day she had Levi to herself, so it helped make up for the other six restless days.

They spent the morning making love, and the afternoon in the west-facing space they'd converted to a music room. It had Levi's piano, a matching walnut bookcase for all his music books, and a giant sofa. The painting of the smoking snake hung over the sofa.

After their late breakfast, they went to this room. Levi sat at the piano. Sybil was on the sofa, listening to him while she read a novel. Now that she was his most frequent listener, he often played to please her. He started off with her very favorite, 'La Campanella' by Liszt-Paganini, then moved on to lesser favorites; Schubert's 2nd impromptu from Opus 142, and the 'tranquillo' movement from Chopin's andante spianato.

They all reminded her of bells. Schubert's made her think of tolling church bells on a foggy morning. Chopin's was whispering bells in a meadow. La Campanella made her think of an eerie bell. A little bell in an abandoned fairground or an ancient house. A little bell that, perhaps, shouldn't be ringing...

She turned on her side, curling up as she was serenaded by gifted hands. Floating, she closed her eyes.

She reopened them when it was dark out. Levi was with her on the sofa, also dozing. She snuggled against him to wait until he woke up on his own time. By then, it was too late to sit down to a real dinner, so they ate scrambled eggs straight off the pan, passing a bottle of wine between themselves.

To her, it was a perfect day.

But it was to be the only perfect day for months to come, because three days later, all hell broke loose—ChemTech was in hot water because of undisclosed side effects of the drug to those with pre-existing Circadian Rhythm Sleep-Wake Disorders. The first lawsuits were filed against ChemTech from consumers, then litigations began pouring in. At first, the cases were handled by Levi and the other lawyers on the ChemTech team, but in a matter of two weeks, it became too much for them. A couple other lawyers from the firm joined the team, three legal assistants were hired, and ChemTech employed a new in-house team.

Even with the caseload being spread, Levi spent longer hours at Molton & Kildare. He left home earlier and returned later. Much, much later. Sybil tried to wait up for him every night, but most times she was asleep long before his Mercury pulled into the driveway.

Most days, she hardly exchanged ten sentences with him. When they were able to talk, it was only about the ChemTech litigations; the wins, the losses, the challenges. She felt for him being under so much stress, but she also felt for herself because she was currently the last thing on his priority list.

And with his being gone so much, her restlessness grew unchecked.

A month after the first lawsuit was filed, he told her he needed to start working half-day Saturdays until the torrent was over. That one hurt. Saturdays, too? Their sacred day?

Sybil filled her hours with other things; reading, exercise classes, and making friends with the neighborhood wives despite that they were all a decade older. To give herself a project, she planted rose trees. The last frost had passed, so it was the right time. If she did everything right, they would have blooms rambling all over the eastern brick wall by the following year's summer.

Although this project ate up some of her time, it was the sort of task that occupied the hands but not the mind. Her mind was free to wander. To be restless. Then, on April 5th, she began to resent him.

It was her 20th birthday that day. She got birthday phone calls from her parents, her old roommate, her closest friend from the Katherine Gibbs School, and from Elizabeth Elgar. She also received many birthday cards in the mail, and an ivy houseplant from one of the neighborhood wives.

But there was nothing from her husband. Levi went off to Molton & Kildare by 6:00am. with nothing but a hasty goodbye kiss at the door. He had obviously forgotten.

Despite the calls, cards and gift, it was an unhappy birthday because there was nothing from the one person she loved the most. She indulged in a small crying jag after he left, then decided to cheer up by making herself a good old-fashioned Lady Baltimore cake.

She ate a big slice. The rest of it was still on the kitchen island when he returned from the office. It was 9:45pm., but she made a point of sitting in the kitchen to wait.

He came in, briefcase in hand. He'd already removed his suit jacket. His tie was loosened. There were lines of tiredness in his face, but he worked up a smile for her. Dropping his briefcase on the island, Levi leaned down to her for a kiss. "Hello."

Sybil didn't avoid his kiss, but didn't return it either. "Hello," she replied calmly.

He looked at her awhile, no doubt detecting the coolness of her manner. "I didn't expect you to be waiting in here."

She didn't reply.

"A cake. Any occasion?"

Sybil raised cool blue eyes to his face. "The occasion is my birthday, Levi. I turned 20 today."

Levi froze, then regret washed over his features. He put his hand to his forehead, a curse slipping past his lips. "I'm sorry, Sybinha. I just didn't remember."

"I know." Sybil stood, looking away from him. "Have a slice of the cake if you want. Your dinner's in the warming drawer. Salmon and vegetables." She left him in the kitchen. Up in the bedroom, she lay in bed with her back to the door.

He came up soon. As he got in bed with her, he put an arm around her and drew her close. "I'm sorry, angel."

Close to tears again, Sybil didn't answer.

She made an effort to let it go and not hold it against him, but the core problem remained—he was consumed by work. Her restlessness mounted. Her resentment festered. She tried not to let the extent of these feelings show, but it became more difficult with every passing day. It became difficult to smile at him, to be warm, and not snap at him over minor things.

One morning, the dam burst. She got up extra early so they could at least have breakfast together, but he only took two bites before setting his plate aside.

"What's the matter? Doesn't it taste good?"

"It's fine," he replied distractedly, barely looking at her. Even now, his mind was on ChemTech. "I just don't have the time for breakfast this morning. I need to get going."

"But it's barely 6 o'clock."

"I know. It's better I get there early and look things over. That way I can decide what tasks to set Ken and Ian before they arrive. Things are more efficient that way. I'll just have another cup of coffee and take off." He held his mug across the table to her.

Sybil automatically reached for it, but the resentment surged, and she stopped. Why should she refill his cup? He was a hotshot lawyer, wasn't he? A hotshot lawyer who couldn't spare her a second of his time, or even look at her while speaking to her. He could pour his own damn coffee.

"The coffeemaker's as close to you as it is to me. Fill your cup yourself."

And with that, she had his attention. Levi looked at her. The surprise on his face gave her a twinge of guilt, but anger was stronger. She returned his surprised gaze with a defiant glare. As their eyes held, his surprise was replaced by a thoughtful frown. Then he rose, went to the coffeemaker and refilled his cup. He drank it, put his mug in the dishwasher, and came back to the table for his briefcase.

After he took the briefcase, he came over to her chair.

Sybil sat unmoving. Holding her breath as she waited for some kind of retaliation.

There was none. Levi raised her chin with a gentle finger and kissed her. "See you tonight. Don't wait up if I'm too late getting back." He pulled away and walked out.

Sybil sat, torn between remorse and resentment. She looked at his breakfast plate with its barely-touched French toast and grapefruit. Remorse ultimately won, but by then the front door had long closed and the Mercury's engine had faded.

Hoping he might be on time that night, she made a cozy dinner for two. But dinnertime passed without his turning up, so she gave up and ate alone. Again. Before going upstairs, she fixed him a plate and put it in the warming drawer. He'd find it there. She also left the hall light on for him.

It was well past 10:30p.m. when he got home. She was lying awake in bed. She listened to his car in the driveway. The front door opened and closed, there were his keys getting tossed on the console table, then noises from the kitchen. Long minutes later, there were his footsteps on the stairs.

Sybil had her back to the door as he entered the bedroom. His sounds were muted as he undressed and brushed his teeth. He didn't turn on a light. He was being considerate, she knew. He thought she was asleep and didn't want to wake her. Soon enough, the mattress dipped under his weight. He draped his arm around her waist and drew her body into his. Her back was to his chest.

"Levi," she said.

"Hmm? I thought you were asleep."

Sybil turned around in his arms, facing him. "I've been awake all this time. I wanted to wait for you. Did you find the dinner plate I fixed you? Have you eaten?"

"Yes."

"How was your day?"

"Long. But it's over."

"And then it all starts again tomorrow. Levi, do you realize you worked 82 hours last week? As for this week, it's only Wednesday and you're at 47 hours. I've been keeping count."

"Busier periods come. It's always temporary. You know that. You worked at the firm long enough to see how hours vary depending on client needs."

"Things were never this busy while I was at the firm. You're working too much, you're stressed, and you're not doing the things that relax you. You haven't touched the piano in weeks."

"Client needs are what matter right now. ChemTech is a big client, and the mess they've gotten themselves into might end up being bigger than they are. The company could take a serious hit if this isn't handled."

"I know." She sighed. "I know it's not your fault and that you can't help it, but I hate that things are like this now."

Levi looked at her for a long minute. "So do I."

She was silent. What did that long look mean? To lighten the mood a bit, she forced a smile. "You're going to need a vacation once this is over."

He didn't smile back. "I was thinking about that on the train, actually. I'll take you on a weekend away once things ease up. I'll clear my schedule and we'll go somewhere. That ought to put me back in your good books."

Guilt pricked Sybil again. "You never left them. This morning...I didn't mean it."

"Forget it. But next time, don't bottle things in until you snap. Come to me when something's bothering you and I'll try to make it right. I want you to be happy. That's the idea."

"I'm already happy." She shifted closer. "I'm glad you're home."

He kissed the top of her head. His hand went from her waist to her rump. At last, he smiled. "I want you, but I just don't have it in me tonight." He patted her ass cheek. "Let's get some sleep."

**

Things at the firm stayed busy, but it was a little easier to deal with. At least she now knew that he wasn't oblivious to her feelings, and there was that promised weekend getaway to look forward to.

It was three more weeks before his schedule gave enough room for it. Their plan was to go to a Winery Bed & Breakfast in Schenectady. They'd leave Friday afternoon and come home Sunday. She went lingerie shopping on Thursday, returning with several lacy, transparent, skimpy things. Things she would use to seduce him while they were at the B&B. It was two weeks since they last made love; the longest they'd ever gone. Her suitcase was packed and waiting that night.

Levi went to the office that Friday morning, but according to plan, he was home by noon to pack his suitcase. As soon as he was packed, they'd be on their way to Schenectady.

While he packed his suitcase in the bedroom, she was downstairs storing leftovers in the freezer. That was when the phone rang. The main phone was in the living room but there was a kitchen extension, so Sybil wiped her hands on her apron and walked across to pick up the receiver.

"Hello. Mrs. Castanheira speaking."

"Oh, hello Sybil dear. So glad I caught you. I was worried you might already have left. Mr. Castanheira left the number of the B&B you'll be staying at, but I still wouldn't have been able to reach you until late. Could you put him on the phone?"

It was Gladys, the efficient woman who had replaced her when she'd quit as Levi's secretary. A sense of foreboding came over Sybil. Gladys wouldn't be calling now unless Levi was needed at the firm. She twisted the phone cord around her finger. "Is something the matter? I thought Levi already cleared his schedule for the rest of today."