Bohemian Crapsody

The sequel to "Rhapsody in Poo."

Gordon thought his bladder might easily burst if he didn't do something about it soon. He'd stupidly avoided using the toilet before leaving work and now he was in a desperate situation.

"Bloody rush hour traffic!" Gordon muttered.

He shifted uncomfortably in the car seat, the movement only causing the uneasy weight inside to press more insistently. He groaned. Oh God, he really had to go. As well as needing to pee, cramps were nagging his abdomen too.

Five minutes and he'd be back home. His bladder insisted time was running short. He turned up the car radio, hoping the music would take his mind off things. Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody started playing. It didn't bring him any respite. He tensed his muscles, feeling a few drops of urine escape and wet the front of his underwear.

"Must hold on!"

The traffic lights finally changed, allowing him to turn off the busy road.

Lexi admired the new doormat she'd bought. It was something so mundane, but to her it was exciting. The thrill of finally being in her own place, meant that the most everyday tasks had become interesting.

"I wonder if Gordon's on his way back from work yet?" She smiled to herself as she daydreamed about her older neighbour - and his toilet habits. The past couple of weeks had revealed to her that Gordon was very regular in his bowel movements. He always took a dump in the morning before going to work and then late in the evening, around nine o'clock. Lexi made sure her ears were pressed against the wall in order to hear, and she was always left satisfied by what she heard. He pissed a lot and seemed to get rid of a massive amount of poo as well; she wondered what sort of turds he produced. Long and smooth? A bit knobbly? Lexi assumed the former; Gordon never seemed to have any problems with constipation; he'd barely sat down on the seat before his barrage of plops started.

"I wonder what sort of undies he wears? Boxers? Briefs? Trunks? Traditional Y-fronts? White briefs or Y's would be nice. Skid marks? He seems like a guy who'd wipe himself very thoroughly."

She'd been eavesdropping on him pissing and shitting for a fortnight now, masturbating each time. Lexi desperately wanted things to progress further, but it seemed hopeless, and she risked ruining this wonderful situation forever if she were to say something. Gordon might react terribly, and think of her as some weird pervert. At best, he'd be so embarrassed at her overhearing his private toilet time, he'd move out and she'd never see him again. She'd managed to strike up a brief conversation with him a couple of times and found out a bit more information about him - he was divorced, with a twenty year-old son who was at university.

Gordon worked a standard nine to five job in a building society. Lexi assumed his ex-wife had cleaned him out financially, given that he was now living in a tiny one-bed flat. Whatever his backstory, Gordon seemed content with his life. If he was miserable, he hid it well. He seemed such an easy going and pleasant bloke.

Gordon hurried up the stone steps to his apartment, desperate to relieve himself. He fumbled in his suit pocket. "Damn, where are my door keys?" He said out loud. "Oh no!"

Finally deciding she'd wasted enough time admiring the doormat, Lexi was about to go inside, when the sound of Gordon hurrying up the stairs made her look round. The way he was running, it was as if his arse was on fire.

"Hello Gordon!" She blurted out.

"Um..h-hello Lexi!" He replied, dropping his briefcase and fumbling in his pockets. He looked worried about something.

"Are you alright?"

Poor Gordon was almost on the point of wetting himself. Worse, he was touching cloth; a turd was making a bid for freedom and he was fighting to hold it in.

"Can't find my door keys!" He mumbled, looking very distressed. He hopped from one foot to another. "And I'm...er, bursting for the toilet!"

Lexi couldn't believe her luck. If God existed then he'd surely set up this moment just for her. The opportunity had arisen. Now was her chance to seize it with both hands.

"Come and use mine," she said. "I can see how desperate you are."

"Oh I couldn't possibly," Gordon stammered, embarrassed. "It wouldn't be right..."

"Don't be silly, Gordon, you look like you're about to wet your pants. I'm not gonna let that happen! Come in - it's absolutely fine!" She took hold of his arm. "Please. I don't mind at all."

Desperation overrode any embarrassment and he did as she asked. "Okay. Thanks, Lexi. Thank you so much. I owe you big time for this!"

"No worries!" Unable to resist, she added. "My God, you're really desperate aren't you?" She instantly regretted it, but luckily his response was better than she expected.

"I've never needed a pee as badly as this before!" That wasn't all he needed, but he didn't dare mention anything else - she'd be grossed out for sure.

"Just there on the right," she replied, indicating the bathroom, and he literally raced into it. In his haste, he merely pushed the door back - it didn't close, and a sizeable gap allowed Lexi to observe...

Gordon flung up the lid and seat. He released the button of his trousers, unzipped, pulled out his cock and shot a powerful golden stream into the toilet. He sighed deeply at the relief.

Lexi dared to breathe as she peered through the gap in the door.

Wow. Though from the angle, she couldn't see his cock, the sight of his mighty cascade of urine christening her toilet was a joy to behold.

She bit her lip. You filthy little voyeur, she thought to herself. What the fuck are you doing, watching a man old enough to be your dad taking a piss? Why does this turn you on so much? How would you like it if he were spying on you?

Actually I'd be okay with that...

"Ohhh," he sighed with a satisfied groan. carelessly, his powerful stream veered off and splashed the rim of the bowl, sending some drops on the bathroom floor.

"You stupid git," Gordon muttered, cursing himself.

Lexi decided to take a leap of faith.

"Let me help with your aim, Gordon."

Gordon let out a gasp as a warm, young hand suddenly slipped round his cock.

"What the...what are you doing?"

"Please..." She begged. "I've wanted to do this for ages." Gordon's cock was uncut and thick. He looked completely stunned, yet didn't shun her actions. Lexi gently aimed his cock at the toilet bowl. No going back now. Her cunt was on fire. As Gordon's piss splattered noisily into the porcelain, she found herself aroused beyond belief.

Gordon wasn't sure what to say. He'd never been in a situation like this before...damn, her hand on his cock felt lovely! He could feel himself getting hard. It had been years since he'd been touched intimately by a woman.

"You've...wanted to do this for ages?" He said at last. "What, is this some sort of fetish you have?"

"Pretty much," was all she could say, given that she was close to climaxing.

Bloody hell, he thought, realising she really was getting off on this. He truly had been leading a sheltered life. He had so many questions.

"Um...you like watching men peeing?"

"Just you...Gordon," Lexi replied, panting.

His cock twitched at this, though he was still perplexed at why a much younger woman would get turned on by him pissing. And looks wise, he wasn't exactly God's gift to women...

"What's so special about me?" He added, although an inner voice was yelling at him to just shut up and enjoy the moment. His stream showed no signs of stopping.

Lexi was fingering herself with her free hand. "Because...um...you're a nice chap. And you pee a lot." She sighed, the orgasm building inside her. She released his cock knelt down. "Pee in my mouth...please!"

Gordon aimed his cock and fired the last drops of his fading stream directly at Lexi as she gazed longingly towards him. She opened her mouth wide to catch the shower and was rewarded with refreshing golden droplets which landed on her tongue.

"Fuck yesssss!"

Lexi came quickly, convulsions shaking her with savage ferocity.

"My God, You really enjoyed that didn't you," he smiled, standing over her as he shook his cock, expelling the last drops of urine.

"That was amazing, God, I loved it!" Licking her lips, she noted his full erection. "And looks like you did too!" She grasped Gordon's engorged shaft and shoved it into her mouth.

Lexi began to lick and suck it, discovering another love - that for the bitter taste of piss-covered dick.

"Ohh," Gordon moaned. Suddenly, his eyes shot open as his rectum reminded him that it needed to unload. He grimaced as a cramp seized him.

"You okay?" Lexi said, withdrawing. "Was I too rough?"

"No...erm, I'm afraid this'll spoil the mood...but...um, I need to do a number two as well."

"That's alright. I'll give you a hand." His eyes widened. She wasn't put off at all. Lexi put the toilet seat down and helped him unfasten his belt. Gordon pulled down his trousers and underwear.

White Y-fronts. Oh yes, daddy!

Gordon gratefully settled onto the toilet seat. "I must warn you, when I poo, it smells bloody awful!"

Lexi took hold of his cock. "All poo smells. That's just how it is. Feels good pushing it out though, yes?"

Gordon was finally able to release the huge turd he'd been holding in since he parked the car. "Mmm yes it does!" It landed in the bowl with a loud plop. Seconds later, he let out a massive fart.

"Sorry about that..." He said. He was used to the smell, but his young admirer might end up in a coma if she inhaled.

"That's a ripe one. What have you been eating?"

"A bacon sarnie. Nothing extreme. I blame it on the organic prune juice I drank. This chap I work with, he swears by the stuff. He persuaded me to try some. I don't think it agreed with me. I've had belly cramps ever since."

Prunes were of course, a notorious laxative. And soon after, this was proved right, as a rush of diarrhoea surged forth from Gordon's arse. There was no stopping it. The brownish-yellow slurry splattered into the toilet with the intensity of a fire hose. It sprayed the sides of the bowl and produced a variety of sounds. It slopped and plopped, a veritable brown note orchestra.

Gordon groaned, but Lexi was loving every second. "Fuck yes, what epic diarrhoea! Let it all out, Gordon!" She took his hot length in her hand, feeling it, and stroked it up and down as she licked and sucked at the tip.

As more slurry poured from his hole, Lexi gave him what was commonly known as a blumpkin.

My God, this is amazing...simply amazing, Gordon thought. Her actions on his member felt so damn good, he forgot he was shitting.

"Lexi," he groaned after what seemed like a long time.

"Mmff," was all she could utter. She released his cock and straddled him, pulling him closer. When he lifted her chin with a touch of his index finger, her lips were almost level with his. He kissed her gently, just a brush of his lips on hers, and heat suffused her lips and flowed down to warm her whole body.

"Oh Gordon...Oh God..."

Lexi unfastened his red striped tie and it dropped to the floor. Then she ran her fingers through his silvery hair. She took in his face; lips that now formed a smile as he watched her watch him. Gordon kissed her and she parted her lips to let him in. The heat of his mouth and his probing tongue sent shivers through Lexi's body and she shifted closer to him to feel the heat of his body against hers. She breathed in the faint masculine scent of his aftershave and listened to the sound of his breathing. Her neighbour pulled away from her lips and leaned in to kiss her neck. His mouth was hot, demanding, kissing under her jaw, and she felt the heat of his breath on her skin. He carefully lifted up her top to expose her belly and breasts, and then moved away just long enough to pull it off over her head.

Gordon kissed up Lexi's smooth belly and each kiss left her sensitive skin tingling. When his tongue finally touched one hardened nipple, she drew in a gasp. Her panties were already soaked thanks to her earlier orgasm. Her fingertips brushed the wiry curls of his pubic hair, and then she cupped him in her hand and stroked his cock, subtly guiding him in.

"I want to make you come."

He groaned, a low sound that he obviously tried but failed to suppress, and stilled her hand. "You're already well on the way to doing that," he sighed. "Lexi...do you want me to do this?"

"More than anything!" She was hungry for that cock. The eye-watering aroma of his liquid turds seemed to enhance her aroused state even more.

He slid her panties aside and pushed up into her. Such a deliciously tight, young pussy...he never expected his cock to ever be inside one again...and whilst expelling what felt like a gallon of diarrhoea.

"Ohh...oh Gordon!" Lexi sighed. He stroked her clit with wet, slippery fingers and thrust steadily up into her. The toilet seat creaked as he rocked back and forth.

This was it, everything she had ever fantasised about, here she was at last, being fucked to perfection by the neighbour whose bowel movements she'd climaxed to ever since she'd moved in.

In an instant their scat-induced coupling reached its conclusion and Lexi was filled to the brim with Gordon's thick warm spunk...

"Ohh Gordon, that was amazing, you're fucking wonderful!" She babbled, hugging him tight. "I'll never be able to thank you enough for this. If there's anything I can do for you?"

Gordon looked down at the slim, twentysomething blonde still impaled on his cock. "Well," he replied, kissing her and noticing the empty toilet roll holder. "You can come round and use my toilet next time! But right now...how's about you get some paper and give me a good wipe?"