All Comments on 'Borrowed Swimsuit Leads to Fun'

Can’t wait for more

Potentially a great story, but many flubs. I think they may be attempts to foreshadow but that's not typically resolved in the same paragraph.

"My run turned a bit up-pace, so when I arrived at her house, she greeted me at the doors, and welcomed me in quickly. " Doesn't follow.

"A few times while moving around, Angela brushed against me accidentally, but really on purpose." This could be better written.

"Her satin robe had opened up a little in the front, exposing one of her nipples. Her exposed breast was beautifully tanned with a nice perky nipple, sticking out excitedly." This too, is poorly constructed. You're describing the same tit so it' jams up the reader.

There are others, but enough is enough.

And then you close with the fourth-grade line...to be continued. If you end your story wisely, you don't need this.

Please right more soon!!

I hope you keep new chapters coming!

I would love to be the older guy in this story. I can’t wait to see what happens next!!

What's the suit he is wearing called

Where the next sounds horny