Boss Nanny Ch. 12

"Why didn't you say something then? You could've come to the bar and inserted yourself."

"I trusted you."

"Maybe, but in that moment you were struggling and I didn't know it. I hate that I didn't know. I would've understood."

Seamus melted. "Kelly isn't an easy subject. You talk about how terrible all your past relationships were, but you never married a narcissist. If you line us up side by side, your history is healthier than mine and that's sad. All these years later, I'm still struggling."

Matt grabbed Seamus's hands. "These are things I need to know. I've been struggling since October and you've been there for me without fail. You've protected me. Day in and day out, you've been by my side. In a lot of ways, I've been a shitty boyfriend. I haven't done a good job at putting you first. It was hard for me because I felt like I didn't deserve any of it. Why would someone who has their entire life together want to be with someone like me?"

"I don't have it all together."

"I know that now," Matt said. "We've been together for how long and I'm just learning the truth about Kelly? That's stuff I should know. What else don't I know? I didn't even know about your friends. You had mentioned them in passing, once. Do you see a future with me?" he asked.

"You know I do."

"Then tell me everything. Tell me all the reasons you don't have your shit together. Tell me things I do that make you freak out. I can't fall in love with you if I don't know you."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

So they spent the evening talking about everything. Kelly always punished Seamus emotionally by taking things away from him or leaving him for a day or a week. Which is why Matt moving away for the summer and then to his own apartment had been so hard. Backward change was hard for Seamus.

Seamus shared more about college, his friends, how they vacationed together. Matt found out Seamus and his friends always vacationed for two weeks at the end of March. Which was also Seamus's birthday. Matt had no clue.

"I missed your birthday?!"

Seamus put his hands up. "The adoption was more important. I wasn't about to leave you for two weeks during that ordeal."

Matt pressed his fingers to his temples. "You should've said something."

"I know." He looked guilty. "I'm sorry."

Seamus talked more about his childhood, grade school, and transitioning after Kelly died. By one in the morning, they were both exhausted.

"How's Aidan?" Having already shared more about Kelly than he had in ages, Seamus was ready to move on to greener pastures. "Can we video chat with him tomorrow?"

Matt quickly shook his head. "That's not a good idea."

Seamus frowned. "Why not?"

"I made the mistake of telling him that I was coming to visit you and he freaked out. Dad was literally holding him back as he screamed bloody murder. If you call, it will start a war."

Seamus tried to look guilty, but his smirk was undeniable.

"Gloat is not a good color on you," Matt teased.

"Whatever," Seamus smiled. "At least someone missed me."

Matt shoved Seamus. Seamus shoved him back.

"It's true. You barely called or texted."

Matt sat there, mouth agape. Then Seamus smiled slyly. The fucker was riling him up on purpose. Oh, two could play this game. Matt pounced and a second later they were rolling off the couch and on to the floor. Not even the coffee table or the spilled water stopped them. It was war. They hit the coffee table, knocking over a cup of water, but that didn't stop them.

Seamus was stronger, but Matt was scrappy when he needed to be. They laughed and tried to pin each other down while blaming each other for not calling or texting enough. Matt got pinned Seamus's leg to his chest for a second before Seamus was able to free himself.

They were both happy and breathing heavily when Matt stopped fighting. Happy Seamus leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

Matt watched Seamus. He was glowing in a way he never had before. "You can say it."

"I don't want to freak you out or make you feel pressured."

"It won't," Matt said. "As long as you're okay that I'm not ready to say it back, yet."

"It's fine." Seamus pursed his lips and wrinkled his nose. "Well, it sucks, but I understand."

"I will get there," Matt promised. "I've just said it so many times and it never really meant anything. When I tell you I love you, I want it to mean something. Just like how I'm not Kelly, you're not every short-lived, immature relationship I had in the past."

Seamus got up and helped Matt to his feet. Together they cleaned up the water mess and Seamus's dirty dishes from dinner before relaxing back on the couch.

Seamus asked how things were going back home, they talked more about Aidan, Seamus asked about Brad. Finally, Seamus broached plans for the fall.

"So, you really have an apartment lined up?"

They were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, rubbing each other's feet. Matt smiled at the way Seamus focused on his feet while asking a question that had clearly been eating at him. His boyfriend was both incredibly stoic and adorably innocent at the same time.

"I made sure it's just a few blocks down the road. The apartment is a little more than I wanted to pay, but it's close to everything I need, including you."

Red crept up Seamus's neck. "And when are you moving in?"

"Mid-August. It opens August first. I plan to be fully moved by the fifteenth. So, not that long."

"And work?"

"I talked to Denise and I'll start back at the coffee shop once I'm settled in."

"And your hours are good?"

Matt smiled. The change was driving Seamus crazy, but he cared.

"I don't have my class schedule, yet, so it's hard to say. She said she'll be flexible and to call her when I have my classes and daycare lined out."

Seamus pursed his lips.

"What?" Matt asked.

Seamus shook his head.

"No," Matt chastised. "Say it."

"I kind of want to strangle you right now."

"Oh, is that all?" Matt chuckled.

Seamus threaded his hands behind his neck. "You're putting Aidan in daycare?"

"Yes?"

"Okay."

Matt let go of Seamus's feet and carefully crawled up the couch without falling off or digging his knee into his boyfriend's leg. Seamus watched in confusion as Matt sat on his thighs and cupped his face.

"I would not have survived this last year without your help, but I do not want to burden you or risk taking advantage of you. The plan was always to get Aidan into daycare, and I finally did."

Seamus looked Matt right in the eye. "At the risk of sounding like a fucking idiot, it makes me nervous that you're moving out and not letting me watch Aidan anymore."

"I'm doing this so we can have a healthy relationship. I want you to enjoy spending time with Aidan. I don't want it to be an obligation. I also want to get rid of the stress I feel because of you taking on so much. "

Seamus crossed his arms. "I enjoy watching Aidan."

Again, Matt smiled. How could he not? Seamus was so fucking hot when he pouted. Matt threw his hands up. He couldn't argue. "Fine. I'll do three days in daycare and you can do the rest."

"Two days in daycare."

"Aidan isn't a little baby anymore. He doesn't sleep the day away. He's mobile and kind of an asshole."

"Two days," Seamus demanded.

"Okay," Matt conceded. "But I'm paying for the third day and keeping it as an option."

* * * * *

Brad was waiting when Matt got home. He wanted to know everything. Matt smiled as he shared the weekend with his dad. It was good. Real good.

With the waterways cleared, the rest of the summer passed quickly. Seamus visited Matt and Aidan just as much as they visited him. They even did things with Brad, like 4th of July, the zoo, a weekend at the lake, and a fun wax museum. It was an adventurous summer.

In the blink of an eye, it was over, and moving time had commenced. Seamus helped get everything out of storage and into Matt's new apartment. Seamus's loft was bigger, something he regularly reminded him about, but Matt just smiled and gave Seamus a kiss on the cheek, making him growl.

Seamus hadn't told Matt he loved him, though it was written on his face whenever Matt did cute shit, like the time he picked his dirty towel up off the floor and tossed it in the hamper without Seamus asking him to.

The last thing he wanted was for Seamus to feel like he had to hold back. He also understood the hesitation. It would be hard to proclaim something so big knowing the other person wasn't there. Especially after everything he had been through with Kelly.

It would happen when both were ready.

* * * * *

It took a couple of weeks for Aidan to un-attach from Seamus's side. The back and forth over the summer was hard on him. In fact, the first weeks of daycare were a complete disaster. The separation from anxiety was worse than either prepared for. Matt worried he might have legitimately messed up by moving away for the summer.

Seamus was a champ about it. Probably because he secretly loved it. The first week, he stayed at the daycare with Aidan to help acclimate him. When Seamus left, Aidan was perched victoriously on his hip, clinging to his neck.

The second week, Seamus left Aidan there, but only for a couple of hours.

The third week he stayed away a little longer. By the end of September, Aidan was at daycare two full days a week.

That third day was not happening anytime soon.

Matt had a good rhythm going. Aidan was in daycare or with Seamus. When Matt wasn't in class, he was working with Hilary and Kase, or studying. As much as he didn't want to rely on Seamus, he also didn't care as much anymore.

Things had kind of reverted to the way they'd been before they moved in together. If Seamus wasn't at Matt's apartment, then Matt was at Seamus's. Matt didn't mind it so much. Things were definitely smoother this time around.

They went to all the home football games together. The three of them even wore matching collegiate hoodies. Something Hillary swooned over even though she didn't know they were officially together.

As good as life was, and it was really fucking good, Seamus was stressed about something. Matt fished a few times, but Seamus waved him off. "Just work stuff." Matt was giving Seamus space, but he would not let it go for long. They were in a relationship. Matt deserved to know what was bothering him.

They were at the loft one night. Aidan was asleep and Matt was studying Advanced Forensic Accounting.

Seamus paused the TV. "Theoretically, forensic accounting could find missing money, right?"

Matt kept working. "Yeah. It's basically auditing on steroids."

Seamus thought about it for a moment and then unpaused TV. The question wasn't strange, but the timing and tone were off. Matt kept talking.

"If someone is embezzling money, laundering money, or otherwise moving money where it shouldn't be moved, there would technically be some kind of trail. The inconsistencies might not be obvious to most, but someone who knows what they're looking for, like a forensic accountant, should be able to find it in the numbers."

"If someone was to do an audit, could you do it with no one knowing that you're doing it?"

"I mean, yeah. The auditor would need access to the program and/or the numbers, so someone would have to know, but you could do an audit under the radar."

Seamus watched Matt for a moment then nodded, seemingly satisfied his answer. That was that.

Except it wasn't. Matt wanted to know.

"Does this have to do with work?"

"I don't know. Maybe?" Seamus ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I have nothing to go on but a bad feeling."

"Okay," Matt pressed. "What do you think is happening and why do you have a bad feeling?"

"Mike does all the accounting. He was Kelly's childhood friend and his most trusted confidant. After Kelly died, Mike stayed on. It seemed like the easy choice since he was already doing it. The last few years Mike has gotten more controlling where his job is concerned. I don't know much about numbers, but when I ask about specifics, he finds a way to brush me off. I don't feel like I'm getting the whole picture."

"Does he work alone?"

"Yes."

"And there's no one to keep him accountable? No checks and balances?"

"I guess not."

"If he does all the finances and no one is checking his work, it would be easy for him skim. If I was you, I'd be inclined to investigate."

"I don't know where to start."

"I can ask my professor if she could recommend someone."

"I was thinking you could put your schooling to the test and look around for me."

Matt was shocked. "I'm not a real accountant. I'm a baby accountant. Like, I'm not even eating solid foods yet."

Seamus held his hands up. "I was just thinking you could look. If you don't see anything suspicious, I'll drop it. If you see something concerning, I can hire a professional and go from there."

Matt's heart raced. He strummed his fingers anxiously on the sofa cushion. "You really want me to go all forensic crazy on your business financials?"

Seamus smiled at Matt's ridiculousness. "Of course. I trust you more than anyone."

Matt grinned. He was excited that he might put his baby skills to actual practice. He could hardly contain himself.

"When are we going to do this?"

"Mike goes on vacation in two weeks. I was thinking we could do it then."

Two weeks wasn't a lot of time to prepare, but he'd manage. No matter what, he'd be ready to help Seamus figure out the accounting debacle. It was the least he could do for everything Seamus had done for him. Matt knew one thing for sure, he was going to give this his best shot.

"Ok. I'll do it," he promised. He hoped he hadn't just made a big mistake.