Tied Up in Knotts Ch. 01

This story is a slow burn. There is no sex until the end. If this is not you cup of tea, go drink coffee instead.

****

It was seven in the evening when I disengaged a cart from the row and began my route through the store. I can't remember a single trip that didn't result in running into at least one person I knew. Unlike Lee, who wanted to shop in peace and hated the fact I was always engaging with people, I looked forward to these little social trips. Even when I was on a mission for something quick like meat and cheese, ice cream, or bread and milk, I still found joy in interacting with people.

I'm not implying that I was popular, that I had a fan following, because I didn't, not really anyway. I did, however, have a public job. Some might even say I was a public figure. I had more followers on social media than most people in town, not enough to be verified, but for a small town, it was a big number. Granted, most of those followers were much, much younger.

That's because I worked with teenagers. I was the director of a Youth Evolution Outreach, YEVO. Our main mission was to help kids from low income, homeless, and broken homes. It wasn't exclusive though, so over the years we had attracted kids from every walk of life. In a high school of six hundred, I had over one hundred kids at club every week. That was insane considering different kids came on different weeks because of other obligations like home life, sports, homework, work, etc. At one point, there were over three hundred and fifty kids that had attended at some point during the school year.

Over fifty percent of the school. No pressure.

I was a thirty-two-year-old guy that spent the majority of his life with teenagers and I would never have changed a thing. I was in their world, doing the things they loved. I earn the right to speak truth into their lives. Teens get a bad rap for being dumbasses but when you get past all the bullshit, like I had the privilege of doing, you get to see that they're pretty awesome people. Awesome people that make some questionable life choices. Not all that different from their adult counterparts.

It was the parents that drove me nuts. They think their kid should be number one, even if their kids were an annoying little shit head (because yes, I'm human and think some teens are annoying as shit). They also thought they should have full access to my life. I didn't disagree. I spent time with kids and I wanted parents to trust me. I had no problem living a transparent life. I had a private life but not a secret life.

The difference between the two was simple. A private life was knowing I didn't have to share everything while knowing I had nothing to hide. If my private life got exposed, I had nothing to be ashamed of. A secret life was just that, a secret. It was doing things behind closed doors that you'd be ashamed of, such as an affair, addiction, inappropriate relationship with minors, etc. I had none of those.

Every week I shared bits of my life. If anyone had questions all they had to do was ask. I always felt like people kept too many secrets and I loved the look on someone's face when they realized they weren't alone. That the shame or embarrassment they thought was unique to only them was actually common to those around them, it's just that no one talked about it.

So, between the kids I worked with, the parents I dealt with, the adults that worked with me, and the community that supported me; my social network was wide.

I wandered down the produce aisle trying not to buy too much. I ate healthily but also had a terrible habit of buying too much produce and then tossing it out. I picked up a melon and sniffed the side then thumped it. I always wondered how you would tell if it's ready. After repeating this on a few different fruits, I finally set one in the cart.

"Hey, Nash."

I looked up to see William and smiled brightly. He was the dad of two kids in YEVO, a monthly donor, and more importantly, a volunteer leader.

"William!" I greeted him, giving him a strong handshake. "I didn't get a chance to the other day, but I wanted to thank you for helping out at the fundraiser last weekend. It was busier than I anticipated and I couldn't have done it without you. So thanks," I squeezed his hand once more before letting go.

He waved me off.

"Nothing to it. I'm always willing to help out. Plus, no one expects you to do everything."

"Well, thanks anyway. You da man."

We both laughed and talked about upcoming YEVO events including the last two clubs of the year (we go off the school year calendar) and summer camp. Spring was always a busy work season for me but after camp, the summer was calm until we geared up for fall.

"I saw you speak yesterday. You killed it like always. It was fun watching the kids react to your words. You have a gift."

I didn't like being complimented. I never wanted to come off as prideful and sometimes that's how I felt when I was constantly praised. I didn't feel prideful, I felt like others thought I was prideful. But Williams' words were genuine and he had a way of making me feel good without fear of judgment.

"Thank you. I was a bit nervous. It's not easy talking to a large group of kids about things like abstinence, self-respect, and healthy relationships without fear that they're rolling their eyes and laughing at you."

"No, I understand, but you gave them a lot to think about. Most of them will continue to do what they've always done, but you planted seeds in their life, ones that might not grow today or tomorrow, but they'll remember things you said and at some point, those words will take root."

And that statement was something I lived by.

A few minutes later I was back to grocery shopping and by the time I was ready to check out, I'd run into three more people. Two of which I hadn't seen in ages.

I was smiling as I pushed the cart through the parking lot toward my truck. It had been a long week and the weekend wasn't one for rest. I had enough self-awareness to know the introvert in me was drained and in desperate need of re-charging.

When I got home I put the groceries away and started looking up potential vacations online. I tried to go somewhere twice a year. Somewhere I hadn't been. One of the trips was with my husband, Leland. The second trip I usually went solo or with a friend. I know it sounds weird to vacation without your spouse but Lee was a successful lawyer who had a hard time taking off work.

He enjoyed vacations, but not like I did. And as much as I loved the guy, traveling with him was not always fun. He's a type A personality and it drove him nuts when things weren't planned out to the minute. I was a fly by the seat of my pants traveler who preferred to have a rough itinerary while letting life lead the way. He got to the airport three hours early while I was fine arriving at the gate after boarding commenced.

I found a nice balance. My 'Leland' vacation was usually a rest and relaxation centered event that starred a beautiful sandy beach and a full-service hotel. While my 'Nash' vacation was all about shared hostels and sketchy food, things that made Lee wonder if I was looking for a death wish.

I was browsing my way through Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia when my phone rang. I looked at the phone and smiled, then swiped to answer the video chat.

"Hey you," I said with a giant grin.

"Miss me?" Lee asked.

"Not even a little," I held up a carton of ice cream and he laughed. Every time I bought ice cream he ate it all before I had a chance to get my hands on it.

"You're not gonna wait for me? You've always been so selfish," he whined and pouted.

He was adorable, and after more than a decade, he still kept me on my toes. He had really dark blonde hair that he kept in a stylish cut. He was busy being a lawyer. Or at least I thought so. I thought the softness around his waist was incredibly sexy and I let him know it all the time...much to his annoyance.

"Oh stop, I'll save you some," taking a giant bite and slowly savoring it while he watched.

"You're so cruel."

"What?" I said innocently.

Before he could say anything, he yawned. This three hour time difference is killing me. I can barely keep my eyes open."

He was right. His blue eyes looked super tired.

"Go to bed then. You need all the beauty rest you can get," I smirked.

"Jerk," he laughed then perked up. "Question for you, what bed should I sleep in?"

Lee flipped the video around and panned between two identical queen beds.

"Hmm, tough call," I tapped my finger on my lips as I attempted to really think it through. "Let me see the first bed again."

He moved the camera to the closest bed.

"And now the second one."

He panned it over.

"Again," I said.

He moved it back and forth several times. The beds were nothing special. All white with four pillows on each.

"The first bed, the one by the wall," I said, announcing my final answer.

"And why is that?" he quizzed.

"Because the other bed is by the heater/air-conditioner and you can never sleep comfortably next to that thing. You're going to bitch and bitch about your lack of sleep. Hot cold, hot cold," I mocked.

"Ahh, you know me so well," he cooed.

"Damn straight," I smiled. "Anyway, I gotta go. I'm looking up trips to Thailand."

Lee groaned as he undressed and walked toward the bathroom. He set the phone down on the counter I watched as he got his toothbrush ready.

"Thailand? You're definitely going to die there."

"I'll make sure my will is updated before I leave," I teased.

"Oh good. I can't wait to live comfortably off the money you've made from your non-profit salary," he teased back.

It was true. I made peanuts. We both knew my job wasn't about income, that's what Lee was for. My job was so much more.

"It'll all be yours. You can quit work for three days on what I have stashed away."

He spits out the remaining toothpaste then set his toothbrush off to the side then smiles at me.

"Every retiree's dream. Three carefree days."

We said our goodbyes as he climbed into bed. He was only gone for three days but I still told him to hurry home. Usually, his conferences were a lot closer to home but this was about federal law changes and was on the other side of the country in DC. I would've died of boredom but he loved that stuff. He was all about learning new, boring things. One of the many ways we were hardwired differently.

And one of the many reasons I loved the guy to death.

When we finally ended the call I went back to searching google. I hadn't made any big decisions yet but I was definitely leaning in that direction. I knew the cultural experience would be amazing.

While looking at vacations, I got several texts from kids. State competition for track started the next day in Eugene. I had a bunch of kids competing and a bunch more wanting to ride with me to show our support. We needed to leave town by eight in the morning. That meant I had to leave the house even earlier so I had time to pick everyone up.

I confirmed times, ate dinner, showered, and settled into bed with my book. I stayed up too late, reading, before finally falling asleep alone.

****

The next morning I left the house and began the trek to gather my littles. Thirty minutes later all eight seats in my twenty year old suburban were full of tired teens begging to stop for coffee before beginning the two and half hour drive to the University of Oregon, where the State competition for Track and Field was held.

Ordering everyone's drinks was always a big production. They never let me turn the music down, not that it mattered since the music playing inside the small drive-thru was ten times louder. Everyone shouted their orders at me, then changed their minds and began shouting a new order. All the while, the guy taking our order was hanging out of the window without a care in the world. If the company was going to insist that their barely legal employees hang carelessly out the window while schmoozing with customers, then they should insist on safety harnesses. That should say a lot since according to Lee, I lived a life of danger.

When the window boy was safely back inside and everyone in my car had a caffeinated beverage in their hand, I pulled away.

"Cushman has a pink straw!" Madison yelled from the back. She was wedged between David and the other Madison.

The car erupted into an explosion of OOoo's. I looked down and sure enough, there was a pink straw in my drink. In the brains of adolescents, a pink straw meant the person working thought you were hot. I knew it was nothing more than a random draw. Like winning the lottery, except in my case, it was a creepy and mildly uncomfortable form of flattery since window boy may or may not have been eighteen yet.

Before I had a chance to remind them that I was thirty-two and window boy was...not even close to my age, my phone rang. I waved my hand to quiet everyone down as I answered the call.

"Hey Lee!" the kids screamed before I had a chance to greet my blushing bride.

"Hey everyone!" he responded with a laugh.

This wasn't the first time he was bombarded by my kids. They were just as much a part of his life as they were mine.

"Guess what?" Madison yelled with a bit too much excitement, "Nash got a pink straw!"

I looked at her through the rearview mirror and rolled my eyes. She only smiled brighter.

"Ahh, a pink straw..."

He had no clue.

"It means the barista thinks he's hot," Sarah clarified.

"Well, that makes sense," Lee chuckled. "He's pretty irresistible if I say so."

The girls squealed at his compliment.

"Don't encourage them," I said in a slightly sarcastic singsong voice.

"Where's the fun in that?" he laughed again. "Anyway, I have to get going. What time will you be back home?"

"I'm not sure what time the events are. Probably not until late, which will be super late for you."

"That's what I figured. Shoot me a text tonight and if I'm still awake, I'll call you?"

"Perfect. Make sure you learn lots of stuff today," I teased, "and I'll talk to you soon."

"Love you, baby."

"Love you, too. Come home."

"Bye everyone," Lee sang to the rest of the car.

"Bye Lee," they sang back, making me laugh.

"Bye Nash," he said to me, once more.

"Bye Lee."

I immediately had to fend off comments from the girls in the car. They always thought we were so cute. I didn't know if we were actually cute together or if it was because we were gay, but there was always a commotion after interacting with Lee.

****

If listening to a song to its completion is important to you, don't spend time with teenagers. There's something about a finite time frame, like a two-hour car ride, that makes them want to cram in as many songs as possible. The only way to do this was by listening to a song for a minute or so and then moving on. By the time we arrived on campus, I wanted to throw every single loving iPod out the window.

I'm going to murder them...with love, but I'm still going to murder them! I texted Lee as I got out of the truck.

Music?

Yes!

You're so cute, Nash. I gotta go. Corporate tax laws don't learn themselves. Talk soon xoxo

Fine. Go learn stuff. I'm going to sing a song from beginning to end while watching kids run, jump, and throw things

You live a great life

I do, don't I? :)

I smiled. There were moments when the kids drove me mad but at the end of the day, I had a good life and a great job. I slipped my phone in my back pocket as we weaved our way through the parking lot, paid our admittance fee, and found our way to the Lincoln High guest section. Some of the kids scattered to go meet up with other friends while David and Christian followed me to the bleachers. I said hi to kids and parents while we found our own spot to settle.

"I'm surprised you're not with Madison," I said to David, who looked a little gloomy. It was a well-known fact that David had a giant crush on Madison and was never far from where she was.

"She is meeting up with someone and I wasn't invited."

I nodded knowingly and stared across the field. I liked David. Teenage boys could be frustrating but David had his shit together. He was what I considered well-balanced. He went to the occasional party and did dumb shit with his friends on the weekends but mostly, he was really respectable. He treated girls how they should be treated, he respected those around him, he didn't give in to peer pressure, he was a junior youth leader at his church, but was humble as anyone I'd ever met.

Madison, on the other hand, well...as much as I liked her, she wasn't of the respectable variety. She always had one or two guys on the hook and moved from one relationship to the next before it ended. She never seemed to consider anyone aside from herself, so it never phased her when she hurt others while in pursuit of her own happiness.

David knew all this but the heart wants what the heart wants. I prayed every day that he'd move on to someone more his speed before he did something he regretted. David and I had already talked about the subject to death so there was no need for me to say anything at that moment. We all knew what was going on and we all knew that it wouldn't change anything, so we watched the field events instead.

"Kayde is a beast," Christian shook his head in awe and David and I nodded in agreement.

Kayde Knott was a total beast. In a small town like Lincoln, he stood out. He was a born athlete, the kind that makes varsity their freshman year without trying out. It wasn't just sports that he was good at, it was literally anything he did. He could learn an instrument without trying, fix a motor, build a house, fly a plane, or solve the world's unsolved math problems. Objectively, and in a totally non-perverted way, he was also extremely handsome. He wasn't the kind of greek god you read about in the stories, but he was real life perfection. As a senior he was five-ten or so, no doubt he'd grow some more in college. He was muscular and ruggedly handsome with dirty blond hair that he wore shaggy like a skater.

Kayde came from a long line of perfection. The Knott family were all genetically modified badasses. My straight crush was Kayde's dad, Ryan. Lee's was his uncle Nathan. There were three of them; Ryan, Penn, and Nathan.

Ryan was the oldest, roughly mid-forties and a total silver fox hottie. He owned a thriving concrete business. He married his high school sweetheart after they got pregnant with their first son, Kevin. After Keven they had Kayde, then they had Ellie. Kevin was just as athletic and went to college on a full ride scholarship. Ellie was a sophomore and already proving that she could match her brothers. She was a powerhouse. Tall and muscular just like the rest of her family.

Penn was forty-ish and nowhere near greying like his older brother. I didn't see him around as much as his brothers. He had a wife, Camilla, his high school sweetheart and drop dead gorgeous. For whatever reason, they'd never had kids. Like everyone in his family, he owned a successful business. Underwater welding or something crazy like that. It was one of those jobs you hear about but never actually know anyone who does it.

Logan was the baby of the family at thirty-eight. His wife Abby was beautiful. Short, petite, total fake boobs but a great smile and sweet as pie. They also married out of high school when Abby got pregnant. Unlike the happy marriage between Ryan and Jane, Logan and Abby had lots of divorce rumors over the years. I don't know how true they were since nothing ever happened, but it's possible they'd had a rocky go. Lots of people thought Abby was a gold digger, that the only reason they hadn't divorced was that she refused to let go of the hefty income from Logan's construction business. I never believed it though, greed only takes a marriage so far, and I was sure there was more between them than just money. While people were busy saying cruel things about them, I applauded them for making it work. They also did their part in extending their gene pool with one boy and one girl; Kody and Kayla. Kody was a Sophomore and Kyla was in eighth grade and you guessed right...they were both born for greatness.