Breaking Point

Her voice trailed off and Kate was back to her goldfish impression, the kids didn't look much brighter. It didn't look like I was going to get a response out of any of them. I stood up in frustration yet again, mumbled something about letting me know and left.

***

I was back at my pokey flat wondering if I could afford to move. I neglected to mention to Kate that my lawyer advised me to keep going with the mortgage payments and reduce the child support. It guaranteed a roof over my kids head, but he reckoned it might turn out to be a good investment as property prices were sky rocketing. And once Jack left home in a few years she would either have to sell or buy me out.

My phone rang, it was Amy. I found myself wondering what the next tribulation in my life would be.

I answered with Amy saying she had Jack on speaker, she spoke in a hurry, "We've worked out we owe you 6 weekends and 4 weeks vacation and wondered if you would still want to do that tour through Europe this summer... and could include the Black Forrest, see the Alps and travel down through Italy."

Her words poured out in nervous jumble.

"You remember those places?"

"Of course we talked about it for years and it should be a lot warmer than Scotland."

"And dad, well... we're sorry about how we acted. Mum never mentioned that it was her who cheated; we thought it was you and that it must have been with Marie. And Paul made it sound like he was paying for everything after you just left us."

"I don't care, as long as I can get my kids back again."

Jack joined in, "You're wrong about Paul, we don't really like him, he's a prick!"

I tried not to laugh, honestly I did, "That's not the impression you gave Jack."

"We... we thought that if you weren't seeing us, well... that you might come back."

"That is never going to happen Jack, things are over with me and your mum; she's moved on but I want to be there for you both."

Amy picked up for Jack, "The thing is dad, we think mum feels the same way. He isn't really here that much but turns up if you due to pick us up. They argue a lot and it's often about you."

"I find that hard to believe, your mums been nothing but a bi... well she's been difficult to deal with since we split, I'd go as far to say she hates me."

"I don't think so dad, I think she knows she made a mistake."

***

I was sitting in Kate's Human Resources office at work, my nose was bust and I was trying not to bleed all over what looked like an expensive carpet.

Kate was furious when she saw me, "Jesus Jim, fighting at work, its gross misconduct, I will have to dismiss you."

"What's the matter, worried about losing out on the child support?"

"It's pathetic, grown men fighting, you realise we had to call an ambulance for Bob."

"Good, he deserved it. I thought I did quite well considering there was three of them!"

"Grow up Jim this is a total disaster! It's so bad the old man is coming in."

Turner burst in then, I tried not to smile at his swollen lip and the bruised cheek. He immediately started shouting that he and half of his team had been attacked, demanding the police were called and the assault reported, in addition to my instant dismissal.

I looked at Kate, "Do you want to know what actually happened before you sack me. I mean I thought that was your job after all."

A deep voice resonated across the room, "I do!"

I turned to see old man Chisum, the Chairman and founder of Chisum Engineering. He rarely attended the factory these days but still had an imposing presence and reputation to match. Weirdly Josh was standing next to him.

Turner launched into an explanation, "It was an unprovoked attack in the canteen against me and two of my team."

"An unprovoked attack by one man taking on three seems a bit odd don't you think... is that what happened Jim?"

"Well, I probably swung first but seeing as I was outnumbered I wasn't going to wait about."

I thought I saw Chisum stifle a smile.

Kate went on, "We will have no option but to dismiss you and call the police Jim, you had already threatened Paul, I heard it myself. Nothing somebody says can justify an assault.

"Aren't you going to ask what provoked it?"

"I presume its jealousy over mine and Paul's relationship."

"No it's been months of harassment by him and the guys from his department."

Paul was almost hyperventilating, "That's total rubbish and just a pathetic excuse."

Josh spoke up then, "I can confirm everything Jim said is true."

Paul looked at him with distain, "Who the fuck are you? If you know what's good for you, you'll keep your nose out of other people's business."

Chisum answered, "Josh is my Grandson and I'd believe him all day long over someone like you."

I got over my surprise and produced my phone, skipping back and pressed play,

"Hey cucky, our boss was late in this morning; he was probably giving your misses a good seeing too."

Everyone in the room got uncomfortable; I saw the look Kate gave Turner.

I flicked back through the recordings, "You do know she was fucking him for months before you separated. Did you know? Are you are you one of those cuck faggots that like see you wife getting pipe laid into her."

Kate's face turned crimson while Turner shouted, "This is total bullshit."

I skipped back again, the next voice was Turner's, "It's a shame you were late for work all those times Jim and you didn't get the managers role."

I looked at Kate, "Have you ever known me be late for work... ever in all the time we've been here. He blocked it and told me so, told me to move away as it would happen every time."

I flicked forward to the recording from the canteen, it was Bob Marsden's voice, "Paul's says she's a great fuck and a right go-er, once he's broken her in we're going to have a little party with all the boys; we might even be able to involve that cute little daughter of yours..."

The sound of scuffling and the fight followed, before the recording cut off.

"It was the last comment I reacted too, you're still the mother of my kids and the mention of Amy well..."

Kate glared at Turner, he shifted uncomfortably "I didn't know that idiot Bob was going to say that, he was just trying to wind him up."

Old man Chisum spoke, "Officially everyone involved is suspended pending investigation and disciplinary hearings! Unofficially... Tuner get the fuck out of my building and take your cronies with you. Anyone calling the police will never work in the industry again. You were on borrowed time anyway, worst appointment I ever made. Don't even think about fucking with me, you will regret it."

He nodded at a security guard outside the door who came in and then escorted Turner away.

Chisum turned to me, "In light of everything, I'd say you handled it well but you should have come to me. Go home Jim, get cleaned up. Kate... we need to talk, I can't believe this type of behaviour has gone unnoticed, even ignoring your role in things, as HR Director you should have been aware of what was happening."

Tears were rolling down Kates' cheeks, "You do know its not true Jim, it wasn't months, it was once and I regretted it as soon as it happened."

I walked out with Josh and thanked him for both the back up and the advice and offered to buy him a pint or many.

"I'd love to but I have to travel for a Regiment thing on Sunday, I usually just take myself off into the hills for some peace but they have roped me in for something official."

"No trouble, next time though and what's that about the old man being your Grandad."

"I didn't like to broadcast it or take advantage. I was going to mention your troubles to him but I figured you needed to find your own solution, and then I'd help. After all, 'he today that sheds his blood with me... shall be my brother.'

I started laughing, "Now I know that one is an old army quote, if you count Shakespeare and Henry V."

Josh chuckled, "That's the one, Band of Brothers, they used it in officer training. it was a bit high brow for the rest of us."

***

Kate came to my flat that night, I let her in begrudgingly asking what had happened with Chisum.

"He confirmed Paul and the two involved in the fight are to be dismissed, others in the team admitted to your harassment and stated Paul put them up to it. I was reprimanded and put on a final written warning."

"Are they going to the police about the fight?"

"No, the guys admitted the harassment and want to keep it quiet, they are claiming it was just a disagreement that got out of hand."

"Did you speak to Turner, ask him why?"

"He wanted rid of you because he thought I was still in love with you. He said the conversations were to make you snap and get you finished from work, but that you never took the bait, you just ignored them."

"Is he crazy, you don't cheat on someone, lie to them and treat them like shit if you love them. You've treated me like crap for months, I would go as far as to say you even enjoy causing me pain."

Kate started crying hysterically, "None of this was supposed to happen! it was a mistake, then you weren't supposed to find out and you weren't supposed to leave me, everything possible went wrong. I thought if you missed the kids and your life was rubbish you might give me another chance... but it didn't happen. Paul was more about trying to make you jealous than anything else, I don't have any real feelings for him."

"So you were a bitch because you wanted me back, seriously! Take responsibility for your actions Kate, you caused it all. I have no idea who you are, the woman I married would never have done those things, she was kind and caring, where did she go?"

"I fucked everything up, when I realised you weren't coming back and with the divorce I thought I had to see it through. The kids, our friends and my family wouldn't believe what I had done. John and Rob refused to be in the same room as us, I haven't seen their wives or families in months. I had to prove I could make it work with him; otherwise I had thrown everything away for nothing. I had to prove I made the right decision and that he was the better man. My life with Paul had to be perfect and the more I diminished you the better my decisions would appear. I tried to make it seem like a love affair but it was never that, he was arrogant and selfish but there was no going back by then."

"What a fucking mess... and you got the kids mixed up in all that shit."

"I am so sorry, I needed to try and put things right but had no idea how. I didn't realise how badly it affected your relationship with them."

"Great, yet another apology!"

"I've heard what you said, I will change my actions so I don't need to keep apologising. At least it's over with him, he is gone now, and I need you, so do the kids; they are really angry with me. I thought... well I thought maybe we could try again, I've never stopped loving you."

I couldn't believe it, I was so certain she hated me, it gave my pause for thought... but not a long pause.

"There's is no way back Kate, not for me, the bond and trust we had is gone. I am not trying to hurt you, just trying my best to cope and get my life back on track".

***

I met John and Rob for a pint on Sunday morning; they blasted me for not responding to all of their calls and texts. I tried to explain why... the wives were close and Paul was Rob's brother after all.

Rob laughed, "He's no brother of mine! I haven't spoken to the prick since that night in the pub, just as well too, otherwise I would knock his block off."

John explained the wives hadn't seen much of Kate initially, they were back in touch now and saying Kate regretted everything. She thought if she hadn't started seeing Paul again and had been more reasonable, we might have gotten back together again. I wasn't sure about that, but I was sure it was good to talk to friends again.

We had started catching up about other things in our life, when I happened to glance up at the TV screen. There in the full dress uniform of the Royal Fusiliers was Josh, laying a reef at the Cenotaph, in front of Royalty and the 'Great and the Good' of the land. He had an array of medals on this chest. I turned up the sound to hear the commentary explaining how Josh had won the Victoria Cross, rescuing fellow Fusiliers under heavy fire and repeatedly going back, before being blown unconscious by a Rocket Propelled Grenade.

They went on to explain his struggles through recuperation. I was staggered, I had no idea what Josh and others had to cope with, my plight paled in comparison.

***

Actually contrary to stories, once Kate stopped being a bitch life was pretty good. I saw the kids more than scheduled, plus all the sports and events. It was informal shared custody, they stayed whenever they felt like it and always seemed happy to see me.

The Child Maintenance Service reduced what I was paying, offsetting the mortgage as they suggested. I got the promotion at work and a huge bonus payment, Chisum said he wanted to avoid any harassment claim or a constructive dismissal case. I got back into some old hobbies and planned to travel more.

I was flabbergasted when Marie turned up at my new terraced cottage, we hadn't spoken for months and I didn't think she knew where I lived.

I invited her in, somewhat uncertainly.

"I am here at Amy and Jack's request Jim, they apologised and explained everything. Amy mentioned you weren't dating anyone."

"How did they even know how to contact you?"

"I suspect Kate gave them my number, I called her, she confirmed what the kids said and that she accepted you both needed to move on."

Things were getting surreal!

"It's seems both your kids and ex-wife think you're the best thing since sliced bread and that I would be an idiot not to go out with you."

"I mean sliced bread...seems a bit much don't you think? Maybe the best thing since the steam engine though... sorry it's an engineering thing."

"I'd have to go for the calculator or computers, I am an accountant after all. Either way, I'd like to find out for myself Jim."

"Yeah, I'd like that as well Marie, very much."

We started dating again and our relationship grew, it was friendship and company initially and then passion and intimacy; all of the things money can't buy. Who knows where we will end up, all I can say is it's going well so far.

Did I just get lucky? Maybe... but I'd like to think I stopped behaving like a victim and to some extent at least you make your own luck. I stopped accepting the crap other people were giving me and learned to stand up for myself again and so far the results are great. I am never taking that far granted though, life has a funny habit of tripping you up when you least expect it.

****

I hope the addition of Josh's story is accepted in good faith. Remembrance Day is approaching and was on my mind. That day feels like one of the few occasions where we do things right by veterans. Inclusion also provided some perspective to Jim's plight and stirred him into action.

The Victoria Cross is the highest military decoration awarded for valour in the United Kingdom. The reality is only 6 Victoria Crosses have been awarded in the last 50 years, 4 posthumously; but thousands of veterans cope with adversity every day. The 'get on with it you wanker' quote needs some care; rightly there is far greater emphasis on the support needed for men's mental health, veterans or not.

Lest we forget.