Breaking the Delusion

"For the love of God!" both Helen and Roger moaned in frustration in unison.

"Do you know how hard it is right now for me? Do you know how much I am hurting from what has happened? My children ruined my wedding and the love of my life left me at the altar. I'm supposed to be on my honeymoon but instead, I am being judged for things I couldn't help. Can't you at least give me some support?

"Did you arrange to see Pastor Simon?" Helen asked.

"Yes," Ursula sulked.

"Good, then hopefully he will be able to break you out of this delusion."

"I am not delusional!" Ursula screamed. "I miss him. I miss David so much. I wish you could see that. I miss Violet and Xander. I just want to see them. Please let me see my children!" Ursula begged and she began to sob again.

"Violet and Xander will be coming for dinner tomorrow," Helen told her firmly. "Myself and your father will collect them from Gary's house. You better not blame them for your wedding."

Ursula didn't reply. She felt like the whole world was against her. She had tried calling and messaging David so many times, but he never answered or replied. Her feelings for him were real and she could not understand why everyone was against him. She couldn't understand why he wouldn't at least try and work it out. She was sure she could persuade Violet and Xander to accept him and their marriage. All she ever wanted was for the four of them to be a family. Why could no one see how happy they all could be together?

Chapter 4

Ursula sat waiting impatiently for Violet and Xander. Since the school summer holidays had begun the weather had become very warm. She was wearing the yellow sundress she loved to wear in the summer.

She wasn't sure what she was going to say to Violet and Xander. They had hurt her beyond their comprehension for what they did at her and David's wedding. They drove David out of their lives, yet she loved them so much. They were the most beautiful of children which was why she couldn't understand why they did what they did.

While her parents went to her ex-husband's house to collect her children, Ursula busied herself cooking dinner. She wanted to do that for her children. She wanted to cook their favourite food and show them that she loved them, that she forgave them.

Ursula saw the car turn and pull up onto the driveway. She could see them sitting in the back seat before they went out of view. She stood up and waited expectantly for them.

"Come in, your mother is waiting for you," she heard her mother say.

When Violet and Xander entered the lounge, Ursula smiled at them nervously,

"Hello, Violet, hello Xander," she said and tentatively came over to them and gave them an awkward hug. She could feel their unease and she fought to hide her disappointment at their lack of enthusiasm in seeing her. "I am so happy you're here. I've missed you."

"Mom, it's only been two days," Violet said irritably.

"I know, but a lot has happened, hasn't it," her mother replied unsure how to talk to her children.

Xander was looking around sullenly, "He isn't here is he?"

"No, David isn't here," Ursula replied looking heartbroken.

Violet and Xander looked at each other and breathed out a sigh of relief which Ursula forlornly couldn't fail to notice which almost broke her heart.

"Would you like a glass of lemonade?" Ursula asked trying to sound excited, desperately trying to change the subject. "I made a big batch of it. I know how much you love it when I make lemonade."

"Mom, you haven't made lemonade in years," Violet told her, the tension in the room was thick. Ursula's eyes began to moisten, and her smile dropped as her heart ached.

"I'll get the lemonade," Helen said quickly trying to rescue the meeting. Despite her disappointment towards her daughter, Helen knew she had worked hard and put a lot of thought into her meeting with Violet and Xander. She had spent the day shopping and cooking. She was in no doubt that Ursula did love her children and had always seen them as part of her life but for almost three years she had put David before them and that had bred resentment towards her from her children. "Why don't you all go into the garden, and I'll bring the lemonade out there."

When Helen brought out the lemonade, she could hear Ursula trying to ask her children questions about their plans for the summer but was only getting short answers for her efforts.

Helen poured the lemonade for her unimpressed grandchildren, giving them a stare, which told them to at least try it. To her relief, try it they did. Xander even smiled,

"I missed your lemonade, Mom," he mumbled which made his wayward mother's spirit visibly rise.

"Do you like it, Violet?" Ursula asked hopefully and appeared to wait with bated breath for her daughter's answer.

"Yes, it's good," Violet agreed which made Ursula beam a smile.

Mother, children, and grandparents began to talk. It was strained at first but soon they all began to relax. For the first time since she was jilted at the altar, Ursula smiled. She was enjoying being with her children.

Noticing the time, she exclaimed, "I need to get the food ready," and hurried off into the kitchen. "Violet, Xander, can you lay the table?" she called from the kitchen. At their grandparent's urging the children did as they were told.

About half an hour later, Ursula brought out the food, homemade pizza, fried chicken wraps with salad and fries. It wasn't exactly appropriate food for a warm early summer evening, but she had poured her love into her cooking.

Violet and Xander looked at each other with surprise at the food and without prompting served themselves.

"I hope you like it. I made your favourites," Ursula told her children which prompted guilty looks from her children.

"We haven't eaten this for a long time," Xander said.

"No, I cooked this all the time for you," Ursula objected looking confused.

Helen's stomach churned as she watched on powerless while Ursula's hard work began to unravel, and her grandchildren's resentment towards their mother began to bubble to the surface.

"No, Mom, you haven't cooked this since you began cheating on Dad," Violet said sounding annoyed.

Ursula looked confused, "I don't know what you mean?"

"Mom, we knew you were seeing David when you and Dad were still married," Xander told her quietly.

For the first time, a flash of guilt crossed Ursula's face, "Please Xander, can't we just have a nice meal together like we used to?"

"Mom, what Xander is saying is that you can't just cook a meal and think everything is okay between us!" Violet snapped which made her mother flinch.

"All I wanted was to make you happy," the hurt was obvious in Ursula's voice.

"All this," Violet said harshly waving at the food, "just proves how little you have been in our lives all the while you have been with David!"

"I'm sorry," Ursula said sounding completely heartbroken. "I tried, I tried my best!" and she broke down and fled the table in tears.

For the second time in two days, Violet and Xander looked shocked at the effect of their words on their mother but this time their grandmother wasn't as supportive.

"Was that necessary?" she snapped at her grandchildren. "All she has asked for since the wedding was to see you two. She spent all day working hard preparing for this evening. Couldn't you both have held your tongues until the appropriate time to discuss these things? Couldn't you see this evening wasn't the time?" Helen's tone then became more conciliatory. "All your mother wanted to do was show you how much she loved you and was trying to build the bridges she burnt with you. She isn't able to understand all the things she has done wrong yet. She is going to have therapy to help her understand this. Right now, after what happened at the wedding, she is terrified of losing you."

"Shall I talk to her?" Violet asked. "We didn't mean to make her cry. We just wanted her to listen to us."

"I know, but leave her for now," Helen replied more gently. "If you want to do something, eat the food she prepared for you then tell her you enjoyed it. I know it is your favourite food from a few years ago but she put a lot of love into it."

Violet and Xander ate the meal their mother prepared for them and they enjoyed it. They shared stories from happier times and laughed as they ate.

"Can we see Mom now?" Xander asked hopefully when they had eaten. "Can we have dessert with her," Violet nodded her agreement.

Helen nodded with a smile and went inside to find her daughter.

"Ursula," Helen asked tentatively as she entered her daughter's bedroom and saw her sobbing on her bed. "How are you?"

"They hate me," Ursula replied disconsolately between sniffs. "I love them, but they hate me."

"They don't hate you, but they only said what they did because you hurt them," Helen said gently.

Ursula didn't reply and continued to sob.

"They are asking for you and they want to have dessert with you. Does that sound like they hate you? If anything, they missed you," on hearing that Ursula's sobbing stopped, and she turned to look at her mother. "Dry your eyes and come back to the garden."

Ursula wearily returned to see her children hopefully waiting for her,

"Can you have dessert with us?" Violet asked.

"Thanks for the food. It has been ages since you made it. I used to love it, your pizza was always the best," Xander added.

Ursula smiled with relief at her son's compliment, but it also made her sad as she realised how little she had been there for her children, "I only have ice cream, is that ok?"

"Sounds great Mom," Violet replied.

Chapter 5

Later that week Ursula had her first therapy session with Pastor Simon. Ursula confidently walked in. There was no doubt in her mind that she didn't need therapy. She still was hurting from David leaving her at the altar and her children ruining her wedding, but she felt that after meeting them twice that week they were back to how they used to be, and she was sure she could persuade them to accept David once she told them she forgave them.

"Hello, Ursula," Simon welcomed her warmly and showed her into the small home office he used for his therapy sessions. As they were getting comfortable, a very good-looking man came in with some cold drinks and snacks. After putting the drinks and snacks down, he stood behind Simon with his hand on Simon's shoulder.

"This is Oliver, my partner," Simon explained. "He always provides my patients with drinks and snacks. I think he does it to create business for his personal trainer business," he joked.

"Has Simon, bragged about how many marriages he's saved yet," Oliver retorted. "I swear they are more every time he mentions it." Ursula laughed at their bickering. "I'll leave the two of you alone. It was very nice meeting you Ursula."

"Oliver is the love of my life," Simon explained. "He saved me. No, really! Believe it or not, I have a very sketchy past, but he saw the good in me, introduced me to God and the rest is history. Now enough about me, let's talk about you," he told Ursula picking up a notepad and pen. "I am told you had a very traumatic event on the weekend. Why don't you tell me about it? If you need to feel free to use the tissues on the table."

Ursula took a pained expression, "I was due to marry my fiancé on Saturday, but we never got married."

"What happened?"

Ursula took a deep breath and fought back the tears, "When the master of ceremonies, who was officiating the wedding, asked if anyone objected," Ursula took a tissue and wiped away a tear, "my children, Violet and Xander, objected."

"Wow!" Simon exclaimed. "I am so sorry. Why did they do such a thing?"

"They said they didn't like David and they told me they wanted to live with their father if I married him," Ursula began to openly cry.

Simon's brow furrowed with sympathy, "That must have been heart-breaking. What was it about David they didn't like?"

Ursula began to look shifty, "They didn't like how I met David."

"And how did you meet David?"

Ursula smiled through her tears at the memory, "We were work colleagues. We began talking in the office. I noticed how attractive he was, and we seemed to have this instant connection. After a work function, we kissed and began dating. It was so exciting. We spent as much time together as possible."

"It sounds very romantic, but I feel you are leaving something important out," Simon said. "I can't believe your children would object to your wedding because of that. What aren't you telling me?"

Ursula looked away, "I was still married to my ex-husband at the time."

"Huh, I see," Simon said now sounding less sympathetic. "So, how long were you dating David before you divorced your ex-husband?"

"Two years," Ursula replied.

"Two years? Wow!" Simon said sounding surprised as he made notes. "Why don't you tell me the whole story?"

Ursula told Simon how her marriage fell apart, and how David became a very important part of her life. She described how Violet and Xander would refuse to interact with David, what happened at Xander's birthday party when David proposed, and how they appeared to change their attitudes to David before objecting to the wedding and David walking out.

Simon wrote furiously throughout Ursula's story.

"That is a tragic tale indeed. Did Violet and Xander give you any inkling that they didn't like David?"

"I always thought there would be some adjustment issues, but I firmly believed that they would accept David once they got to know him."

"Do you still believe that?" Simon asked cocking his head to one side.

"Yes! Yes, I do," Ursula answered without any doubt.

"And did they tell you they didn't like David?"

"They did complain at times," Ursula said carefully which made Simon raise his eyebrows and he made notes.

"And how did you react to their complaining?"

"I thought if they spent more time with David then they would see how wonderful he was then they would love him too."

"But they didn't."

"I tried. I tried everything. Once David proposed to me, they seemed to love David but then they did what they did," Ursula's voice trailed off disconsolately.

"How does David feel about your children after the months of disrespect and objecting at your wedding?"

"I don't know," Ursula admitted morosely. "He won't return my calls or messages but he did say he didn't like them at the wedding."

"Huh!" Simon said in a non-expressive tone. "He did leave you standing at the altar though, didn't he?"

Ursula didn't answer that, she just looked dolefully at her feet.

"I think our time is almost up," Simon said brightly. "I think it was a very useful initial session. I see some issues here which to be frank have blown up in your face. The root cause of it all was your infidelity," Simon told her with a hard stare. "I don't think you have accepted how it affected other people. Next is your relationship with your children and finally getting jilted at your wedding and your relationship with David. You appear adamant that everything will end up okay and you appear to be having problems accepting reality." Simon tapped his pen in thought, "I think we will begin with your relationship with your children. I think you do love them and they you but your relationship with them needs repairing so I would like to start there. Would it be possible for Violet and Xander to accompany you to our next session?"

Ursula's eyes widened with hope, "Yes I would like that."

"Good!" Simon said enthusiastically. "Are you free on Monday at 10 am?"

"Yes," Ursula replied happily.

Chapter 6

Over the weekend, Violet and Xander stayed over after Gary asked Helen and Roger to allow him time to spend time alone with his girlfriend who he said had been extremely, understanding about everything under difficult circumstances.

Whatever the reason, Ursula was overjoyed that she had the weekend with her children. She wanted them all to go home but Helen insisted that they stay in her house in case any one of them said something that would ruin it all. She was fully aware that although on the face of it, they were all getting along, there was still unresolved resentment. So, Helen was adamant that Violet and Xander accompany their mother to her next therapy session.

"Ursula, Violet, Xander, welcome," Simon greeted them enthusiastically as they entered his office. Oliver once again brought drinks and snacks.

"Xander. You've only just eaten breakfast," Ursula chastised her son. Simon laughed at the interaction.

"Now," Simon began, "the most important skill I want you all to have today is listening. You will all have a chance to speak but when someone else is speaking I need you all to listen. Can you all do that?"

The three of them agreed albeit slightly reluctantly.

"Good!" Simon smiled. "Ursula, would you like to go first? Tell Violet and Xander what you've been wanting to say to them."

Tears welled up in her eyes, "Violet, Xander, I want you to know that I love you both so much and I am so proud of you. I forgive you for what you did at the wedding. I won't lie, you hurt me a lot-," Violet snorted in disdain when she heard that and a confused and hurt expression fell upon Ursula.

"Violet, you need to listen. It will be your turn next," Simon said firmly.

"You both hurt me by objecting to our wedding," Ursula continued, "but I forgive you because I love you too much. I also don't understand why you disliked David so much. He tried so hard to be part of both your lives and care for you. He brought you gifts. Why did you have to disrespect him so much in return? I just wish you would give him a chance. He is a wonderful man."

"Okay, Violet, I can see that you want to reply," Simon said.

"Are you for real, Mom?" Violet said incredulously with anger which made Ursula flinch. "You forgive us? Are you serious? After all the things you did. We hardly saw you for two years because you were cheating on Dad with David and all you did was shout when you were home. Dad was miserable. He was killing himself trying to win you back. Why would we ever want to know the asshole who did that to Dad?"

"Violet-," Ursula looked shell-shocked at Violet's outburst.

"Ursula, you need to listen," Simon warned.

"Those were bribes, not gifts!" Violet continued her tirade at her mother who visibly shrank at the onslaught. "We told you we hated David, but you never listened to us. Instead, you forced him on us. He didn't like us either. He said so at the wedding. Face facts, Mom, David is gone. He isn't coming back, thank God!" Violet took some tissues to wipe away her tears as her emotions ran away with her.

"Xander, would you like to say something?" Simon asked.

"Violet is right. Why did you put David before us? Why were you never there for us? I am glad David is gone. He never cared about us. He ruined my birthday party by proposing to you. It was so embarrassing," Xander told his mother sullenly.

Ursula sat silently when Xander had finished, with tears streaming down her cheeks, trying to comprehend the scale of her children's anger and resentment towards her that she failed to notice in the past.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled eventually looking like her whole world had caved in. "I only ever wanted you to share in my happiness. It was the worst moment in my life when you objected, and David left me. I wanted you to hug me, but you didn't come to me. I thought you had started to love David, so it was devastating when it happened, and David walked out. I thought I had lost you. I haven't lost you, have I?"

"No, Mom," Violet replied, "but we don't trust you."

"How do we know you won't put someone else before us again?" Xander added.

"I won't I promise!"

"How do we know that, Mom!?" Violet asked forcefully.