All Comments on 'Breaking the Rules'

Writing was good ....very good. You really do know how to transmit both facts AND vibes to a reader and that's difficult to do.

Narrative was a bit repetitive I felt like it was padded out long after you got your main points across and I'm not sure why. Terminally long winded possibly but I just felt some of it was long winded because your artificially wrote it so rather then it in any way needed to be. Some passages didn't feel "natural" towards the narrative arc....

I wasn't left adoring any of your characters ....just didn't see much in either to care about ...frankly it wasn't long enough in that case. You needed to build your characters first a bit more but I felt they got thrown in the deep end so to speak.

I don't think it's a Loving Wives story ....either. I would file this one in Group Sex.

Really, really ridiculous And absurd

Bi-sexual and interracial bachelorette party. This was like reading a phone book.

I agree with Pope, this was Group Sex not LW. I don't concur about transmitting vibes as I felt the story was very detached - zero engagement of feeling towards any of the characters. Lastly, this was a 3 page story stretched to 9 pages needlessly - frankly I skipped a few pages and still didn't miss anything when I went back, which means they were fluff content and pointless. The longer reads on Lit develop a story and evolve. This did neither. 2*

⭐⭐

Being VERY generous.

True, the characters weren’t like able at all. And this should have been posted in one of three other groups before even thinking about this one. Not sure if you are trolling for kicks.

Promising start and thanks for sharing. Now that Elena has had a bite or two of the forbidden apple can she really just stop? Do consider the nosy elderly neighbor discovering recent events and using it for his advantage. Perhaps various males in her orbit such as a supervisor, coworker or friend of hers/fiance make a discovery. I am sure an alpha uncle or cousin would take advantage as well. You asked so I shared. Thanks again.

Some parts were well writen but I couldn't identify with any of your characters so I stopped reading. But, well done on writing not an easy thing to do. Oh and I'm not sure if this was posted on the right category. Once more thank you for having the courage to write and submit...

Exhausting fuckfest. Well done :)

This would seem more appropriate in the Lesbian category than Loving wives category. Nothing against lesbian stories, just not what I am looking for in the LW category. The first page makes clear what type story it is, and I skipped to end and didn't read it, or rate it (since I didn't read it). I have to admit that I also skipped to the end due to my reaction to the Hayley character. I am not a fan of manipulative, pushy people being portrayed sympathetically, and that is what it seemed like to me. For me, I want main characters I can root for, or the malevolent characters incurring some karma. I didn't see either of that in what I read.

It was a fun, horny, titillating epic. All the characters are a hoot and you've managed to include various character types from outright insane (Hayley) to shy and retiring (Naomi). Any self-respecting bride-to-be would love to have that much fun. The morning after all-inclusive fun brunch was the perfect ending to a great story.

I do have a question............What did Marco make for dinner? LMAO

BTW

If you are a member of Lush, you should post this there, folks would eat it up.

Not sure,

Not sure if I want to read 8 more pages if they are as confusing as the first page. I'll try again later.

Hey folks! Author here. Thanks for all of the comments and criticisms so far, I see it and I take it into consideration.

I would like to address one particular piece of criticism I've gotten a fair bit of, though- that this story is cliché and relies too heavily on tropes. I'm not trying to invalidate it or come up with an excuse mind you, I do largely agree, but it might be worth addressing the fact that that is largely intentional. The main two things that inspired me to try my hand at erotica were two very personal "problems" I had with stories on offer. Basically, the first reason was that there simply wasn't enough out there that fit into my specific niches, or, at least, that I had already read most of it. I happen to rather enjoy porn stories that follow fairly predictable trajectories- clcihé stories about wives cheating (or #NotCheating) don't really need to be groundbreaking to catch my attention, they just have to be ones that I haven't read before. With that in mind, I basically wrote the sort of story I would want to read, leaning in to those tropes.

The second "problem" came from me reading some of these stories, but having them take an unexpected turn that made them instantly less interesting to me. I realize I've almost certainly done something like that in my own story, it's just the nature of creating things.

In essence, I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel, my motivation was only ever to make myself more wheels, I just thought that I might as well share my wheels... you know what, that metaphor fell apart, but I think I've made my point.

Basically, I accept the criticism- it's totally fair to judge a story on its merits rather than on its convoluted backstory, just thought I'd share that backstory anyway.

I'm also still deleting comments that are just whining about cheating without providing any meaningful criticism- loving wives is a euphemism, always has been.

Hot fuck fest of a story. Well done. 5 stars.

Might want to develop a thicker skin for someone who has posted only 2 stories. You'll get criticism, that's a given. Yes, you're long-winded, your stories drag with unnecessary filler and it bogs down the story itself. Here's the thing, much better and more established writers here have no issue with leaving the comments section alone, they check their egos at the door...you might want consider the same.

What an incredible snoozefest.

Wow I must be one of the few that thought the tale was a good read based on the comments. I could not let it go without saying this. To me it earned the Good Read ⭐⭐⭐ rating I gave.

At the same time saying that I agree there were some flaws with it being the LW category. I think Group would have been a better category. It was a bit long and wondered if I would move it down because of that. I didn’t, it stayed at the starting point of all my ratings Good Read ⭐⭐⭐.

I found nothing that would in itself knock it below that. If there had been some tags up front in the initial portion of the tale it may have helped consumers decide whether or not to continue. I think many who look into the LW category for their entertainment would be greatly disappointed in this one because it really had nothing to do with LW in my opinion.

Again, in my opinion it was tale that had a million and one things going on with tons of words to tell them. To me it described a really wild night with a lot of friends out for a party pushing all the limits you can think about. It was a great Bachelorette/Hens night. If you have never seen one or participated in one you might not like reading about one.

I am not going to condemn the creator for telling their tale in their manner because it was to long for me or that it was in the wrong category. I hope that the creator has thick enough skin to continue telling their tales their way. Just learn how the categories content and improve the listing.

I think they have the ability to tale their tales and I hope they continue to do so. This site gives us a location to see/witness writers/authors/tale creators begin and continue their journeys. I just hope we take that into consideration when we comment both good and bad.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

I'm jumping back into the comments for a moment, despite the fact that at least one of you seems to believe that me engaging with my readers is akin to having thin skin. A lot of you seem really confused about why this is in the Loving Wives category, and I'm honestly just as confused about this confusion, so I'd like to address that.

Elena is a wife to be, and is married before the end. She is a loving wife both in the literal sense in that she loves her wife, and in the euphemistic sense that the category is all about in that she cheats on her. Just because she isn't married to a man, it doesn't exclude her from this category in the slightest. The thrust of the story is centered around Elena's extra-marital, and then para-marital affairs- hence Loving Wives by any definition.

Also, to the many if you who suggested this go in Lesbian... I will assume you didn't read the story- which is fair, it is a beast and I really don't blame you for dropping it partway or loosely skimming it. Either way, Elena and the other characters sleep with plenty of men, women, and others over the course of the story. It would be silly to single this out as a lesbian story just because the main character is a bisexual woman engaged to another woman- silly being the most optimistic word I'd use. If the story was chiefly about her marriage then sure, but it's not, and I stand by my category choice. If this isn't the sort of thing you come to this category looking for, that's more of a commentary on your expectations, not on the actual nature of this category or my ability to identify themes in my own stories.

There is a legitimate argument for putting this in group sex, I suppose, and I would consider putting it there, but to me it's really more about the cheating- the orgies are, for lack of a better term, incidental.

I hope that clears up this confusion a little bit, but I should sign off now, before my thin skin gets a sunburn from the light of the comments section. Cheers.

Last thought if you don't mind. Comments that attack you personally rather than offering any kind of rational reasoning or criticism are almost badges to collect. Most of the prolific authors will confirm that they've even received death threats... Wear them with pride.

Is cheating period

This was very well written but very long-winded . It at times was a struggle to get through , at least for me . What kept me reading was the character depth and erotic scenes that toyed with the red/purple line , enough for me to develop an interest in when and what circumstance would transpire that she would give in and succumb to the purple passion ? In my opinion you should break it down into separate mini stories keeping them linked and in their chronological order . I’m giving it 4 stars but only because you nearly lost me in a sort of mundane repetition of sex that nearly de-sensitized my interest , in three separates that would never had happened and I would have awarded you 5 with a standing ovation !

Way underrated story.

Yes long but if your looking for an entertaining sex story with plenty of action and a dash of character thrown in then here you go. I wouldn't take any of it too deeply or seriously. Have fun folks.

Real that it has a sanitized ending where it turns out everyone is happy and no rules were broken at all. Fully undermined itself and ruined it for me.

But until that point, it was very good.

Was really great until the unfortunately sanitized end. With slightly better communication, these would've been some boring swingers, very vanilla. No sense of taboo, or actual rule breaking. It undermines itself.

Rating it a one based on my enjoyment, but the author shouldn't be feel discouraged because i believe it was well crafted for the most part, save for the conclusion, which again, makes the story work against itself.

(Btw not implying that messy drama should have happened. That could've been one way to go, but Elena going crazy and getting away with it would have been the most interesting and fun)