Breaking the Rules Pt. 03

Nuru picked out some small differences in the speeds of different members of the phalanx, and started a slow, steady drumbeat, picking it up to speed their steps and slowing down to de-emphasize their strides, making them more uncoordinated as they attacked the paladin, and more in step when they attacked the barbarian. The paladin slipped past their guards more and more, dealing final blow on one, then another kobold. The barbarian pulled back, shielding the healer and going for the big aggro-pulling hits. He finally wore down a few of them, but more often than not, the ranger got a critical hit in to finish them off as they let down their guard, angling for the attack. The barbarian and the ranger got more kills in as the kobolds finally broke rank and turned to flee, exposing their unprotected flanks. The paladin stood back and shook his head.

"Just not honorable, attacking a fleeing and beaten opponent," he said.

"THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME FOR US!" the barbarian roared, crushing a kobold helmet in.

"We're supposed to be better than them, else what's the point of our factions?" the paladin said.

"They knew the risk, attacking us," the ranger said. "Might as well make the most of the loot."

"Don't be drawn into a fool's charge," the healer called up to them. "They might regroup unexpectedly!"

"Oh, I think they're quite done," the paladin said, finishing off a couple mortally wounded enemies. "Mercy killing for you. And you."

"Alright, pay day," the ranger said, and they went through the loot.

Nuru played and sang a song about a barbarian being cursed by a fairy.

"All right, all right, here. Give me a break," the barbarian said, throwing a handful of coins at him. "Don't think I didn't notice what you did here, helping everybody but me. You're a chaos factioner, ain't ya?"

"Not so! You all hired me to keep it interesting. And that's what I did."

"Well you could be more helpful," the ranger said. "Barbie here's protecting the healer, and we need them both."

"And you could pay me more," Nuru said.

"Fair trade," the paladin said. "What say we cut him in for a little more, to use that trancy business to our greater benefit?"

The others all agreed. "He won't be getting any kill bonuses, but it's not like I will either," the healer said, slapping a Health Regen on the barbarian. "I say we cut him in for some EXP too."

The barbarian grumbled, but acceeded, and the others followed suit. They continued forward towards their quest marker.

"Incoming!" the ranger called out.

Orcs began thundering towards them from their hiding places in the bushes where they had been creeping up on the party. Nuru promptly sat down and avoided eye contact, and the orcs ignored him in favor of the more obvious threats, particularly the paladin. He was clearly the tank of the group, casting personal protection spells that let him shrug off a heavy blow or two with only minor damage. The barbarian went blow-for-blow with them, but he was outnumbered and he had to make some evasive leaps while his regen did its work before coming back for more. The ranger pulled out his heavy hits: arrows with +1 to bleeding, and a fast-attack technique that hit any enemies in range and let him pause to roll one direction or another before picking right back up where he left off. He chipped away at their health quickly, with a well-practiced cadence that almost kept him free of injury, although the hits he did take were dangerously heavy.

Nuru followed along with the ranger, setting up his Musical Trance to boost the well-timed wide attacks, and de-emphasize the mighty swings of the orcs. One by one they fell to critical health levels and peeled off to tend their wounds.

PAH KAH tikkatakka PAH KAH tikkatakka

Nuru was going for bigger emphasis of the moment of release and the moment of impact that the ranger was shooting, and little beats to mark the time between. Every other shot, it seemed to work; the arrows would fly a little straighter into the critical areas, and hit a little harder, doing the critical bleeding effect every time. Then it was just harass and interrupt the healing process, shooting arms and hands to make them drop their health potions instead of drinking them, and the orcs began to fall. Once the ranger was relatively clear, Nuru turned his attention to the barbarian. His regen had run out, and he was playing what the kids in Home Town called "dodgeclub" with two persistently well-coordinated orcs: trading blows with heavy impact weapons and trying not to be the one who took a direct hit. They joined hands and danced in a tight circle, clubs extended, creating a deadly vortex of gruesome sharp nails. Worse still, they every once in awhile had the stamina to leap forward in an even tighter spinning move that propelled them inside the defensive zone of anyone caught in the landing area. However, Nuru noticed that while they had the launch down with high proficiency, they hadn't paid as much attention to practicing the landing, which meant they were probably a bit sloppy with their training. They didn't stumble or fall, but they did have an unsteady few strides before they regained their balance. Next time they did it, Nuru dropped a beat just in front of the first step, throwing one of them a little further out of sync, and causing them to let go of each other as they recovered. The barbarian leaped in on a moment of opportunity and laid a heavy blow, then positioned himself to try to force them to separate. This put him at the center of attack for both, but this was apparently his specialty; he used pivoting techniques to dodge an attack from one direction, while putting his own strikes in the direction of the other. With Nuru favoring the barbarian's rhythm and disfavoring the orcs', they found themselves outmatched, and split permanently; one ran off to heal, where the ranger caught him in a quick succession of slashes, and the other dodged and dodged, searching for a way to regain the upper hand.

"Enough of this foolishness!" a great voice boomed. "I taught you all better than this. Must I step in to keep you from embarassing me every single time?!"

This orc was clearly in charge, and clearly the dominant one naturally; he was much bigger, bigger even than Zuberi, the orc that Nuru had met in the company of a half-giantess; he had a great chain wrapped around his waist like a belt, with a short war hammer hanging from it. He unclasped the chain, unwinding it enough to hold several loops in one hand, and whirling it up over his head and down to the ground with the other.

"What did I always tell you? Hmm?"

One of the orcs stopped swinging at the paladin and sagged submissively. "Go for the healer first," he whined.

"That's right. And what have you idiots been doing?"

"Bashing the tank," dejectedly said another one who had paused his face-off with the ranger to watch the new events.

"And what do you do ABOVE ALL ELSE!?" the massive orc roared, turning to look at Nuru.

(Uh oh. Time to run.)

"Uhhhhhhhh," said one orc, who had been taking slingshots at the healer to distract him.

"!Kafa Mara Nauyi!" Nuru said, springing to his feet, and rushing straight for the nearest smaller enemy. "!Tsoratarwa!"

"Yipe!" the orc said, cowering away suddenly from Nuru's Intimidate as the orc leader sprang towards him. Nuru took his own flying leap, just as the spinning war hammer took a meteoric course towards him, and he used his full body grapple skills to cling to the smaller orc as dirt from the earth-shattering impact flew up next to him, splintering what trees remained.

"Graahh! Now look what you did! You pulled him to safety you moron!" the orc leader howled.

"I- I'm sorry, I-"

"I don't want sorry! I want the buffcaster dead, like you should have done FROM THE BEGINNING!!"

The fracas descended into chaos, as the orc champion targeted first Nuru, then as the paladin became too bold to ignore they traded blows, and finally the orc tried to save what was left of his followers while the ranger took the opportunity to whittle their numbers down as they were distracted watching their leader fight.

"!Daure Iska!" the paladin cried, raising a barrier around them and trapping the large orc in with them.

The orc looked left and right, then grinned a malicious, tusky grin. "No one leaves, eh? I can work with that!" He jumped straight up into the air, holding the war hammer high, muttering something that made it glow a dark green.

"Behind me!" the paladin yelled, bracing his shield. The healer made it, but Nuru could see he himself would not.

"Jump!" the barbarian called, rushing to Nuru just in time for the hammer to fall, and a shockwave to ripple through the ground in all directions. Nuru kicked up with all his strength, and the barbarian boosted him as he jumped himself, enough to clear the worst of it but they both were thrown into the barrier and fell over. The ranger ran up the barrier itself after getting a few final shots in on the flying target. Nuru and the barbarian were both stunned, and the mighty orc spun the hammer for a deathblow. The healer and the paladin both rushed to provide assistance if possible, and the ranger grappled onto the orc personally, looking to slip a blade into a critical spot, only to be shrugged off and thrown clear, and so settled for turning him into a giant green and bloody pincushion. The paladin staggered under the full power of the orc's swinging arm.

"I can't take another hit like that!" he cried, clutching his shield arm.

The healer had Nuru and the barbarian back on their feet just in time to see the barrier go down, and the orc turn triumphantly to leave.

"Time to call the rest of the horde!" he announced.

Ka-FOOM

The great orc stopped, blinking in confusion at the fire suddenly blanketing his face. Shrugging it off, he stepped forward to rush away, and found an excruciating new pain in the form of a dagger in his back, weighted down by a thief that had tossed a small firebomb in his face to get time to climb into position. The thief grabbed a loop of the hammer's chain and wrapped it around the orc's neck, slipping the other end down past the handle of the knife, so that when the orc tried to drag the thief off of his back by pulling on the chain, he ended up levering the knife blade against his own spine, making him fall to his knees in agony. Blows rained down on the orc furiously, leaving him no chance to recover. The inevitable death blow was dealt by the barbarian, who got up in time to take a flying leap to smash him straight in the face with a charged up heavy hit.

Silence fell on the new clearing. One orc remained, suddenly realized its slingshot was greatly outmatched, and turned to flee. The thief held a finger up, and pointed just at the moment the orc ran headlong into a trap and expired noisily.

The barbarian got up and cuffed the thief across the head.

"Hey! I turned the tide of this battle, what was that for?!" he protested.

"What took you so long?" the ranger said.

"You know combat isn't really my thing! I'm here to get those chests open. Besides, our pali pal blocked me out of the action."

"You could have portaled in," the accused paladin said.

"You know how much those cost!?" the thief protested.

"Oh please, you never run out of those things when it's convenient," the ranger said. "How come you use them so much if they're so expensive?"

"It's a proficiency thing," the thief sniffed. "You gotta use it, or you lose it. Comes in handy to have precision- like just now. But you only get to use a trick like that once per encounter before they catch on to it, and you know my CON is ridiculously low. No way could I have handled that shockwave."

"I'd put pretty good odds we'd be swimming in orc reinforcements right now if not for that last maneuver," the healer said.

"See? You're welcome," the thief said.

"Let's go reclaim some loot for the forces of righteousness," the paladin sighed.

They made their way to the camp after swiftly stripping the fallen; tactically, the thief carefully scouting ahead and laying a trap, and then the healer would 'accidentally' stumble on the scout they were stalking, get his attention, and lure him in with the promise of an easy unarmed kill, at which point the trap would immobilize and silence him while the combat-ready members would quickly and quietly dispatch him.

"Alright you guys, here's the hard part. You've all gotta get their attention so I can slip in there."

"Too bad you haven't got a necromancer. You could just reanimate the big guy and walk right in under his protection," Nuru said.

"Yes, well, we aren't Chaos Factioners, so of course we can't," the paladin retorted. "Say, just what faction are you?"

"Not a Low Factioner if that's what you're worried about," Nuru said, feeling a sweat break out on his forehead.

"Hmph," the barbarian said. "Little piece of advice. Only 'Low Factioners' call them Low Factions. We holy men call them 'Chaos'. Hate for you to get mistaken for one of them accidentally. Don't worry, you passed my bluff check, though. I know you didn't mean anything by it."

"Right, good. Appreciate that," Nuru said.

"This isn't the kiddie zone, you can't just associate with anybody out here," the ranger said. "Stick with your own, it'll just end in tears otherwise."

"I got it, I got it. Good thing I ran into you guys then," Nuru said, chuckling to hide his nervousness.

"Alright, so remember the plan: we've got the two biggest minions guarding the boss's chamber, where the big loot is. They're stout boys, so we've gotta have our toughest, but we need to present enough of a threat to distract the rest and draw them away. Pali, skullbasher, do your worst. Mister long range, you and heals-on-wheels are with me," the thief said. "I still think 'heals-on-heels' sounds more accurate."

"It would sound like he only heals foot injuries, if we called him that," the paladin said.

"It's better than sounding like he's a wagon wheel carpenter," the thief said. "Wainwright, whatever the word is."

"It sounds dumb, and you're dumb, you dumb thief," the barbarian said.

"What should I do?" Nuru said.

"Afraid you're too low on stamina for this, at your level. Just head back, we'll buy you a drink with our spoils. We're gonna be playing dodgeclub with some big brutish orcs, I don't see you taking more than a hit or two; hate to see you return to your god already."

"Hey, I've got a spell for running. Should probably stock it in scrolls, now that I think about it."

"Which one, Weightless Foot? Not as good as a low encumbrance and a high stamina score, to say nothing of the short runtime and long cooldown. Although, I guess a scroll would get around the cooldown. But that many scrolls would be a real expensive habit to feed, when you can just choose the battles you know you can win."

"Unless I make my own scrolls," Nuru said.

"Gods above, what a sacrifice to make, giving up a whole skill tree and loads of quest time just so you don't have to buy scrolls. What niche are you going for, anyway?" the healer said.

"It's experimental," Nuru said.

"You've got the 'mental' part right," the thief said. "No offense, you're gonna level up slower than a turtle in winter. And you're gonna be carrying a whole library with you, taking up valuable inventory space. A choice both bold and boring at the same time."

"Long as I use them up before the loot arrives, I should be good," Nuru said.

"Lemme know how that works out for you," the ranger said. "Meanwhile, we gotta run - literally. The longer that guy's missing, the longer the patrols have to find his looted body and prepare for us."

"Alright. Cheap bows ready, let's do this," the thief said.

The thief and the healer put on ranger equipment, and pulled out some common short bows.

"I can't actually shoot one of these, can you believe it? Took throwing knives instead," the thief grinned.

"Then why...?" Nuru said.

"So we can use my triple-shot and look like they're both as good as me, and the orcs're all gonna chase us down," the ranger said. "One ranger is an annoyance to be flanked, three potentially is a deadly battery of glass cannons. In theory, if we all knew elemental arrow spells, three rangers running around could take out a lot of dudes in an attrition battle, and they've been trained in that defensive strategy of 'chase it down and squash it dead'. That's what our intel says anyway. We can't actually sit still and focus on any one enemy to kill him, we have to keep moving so we don't get cut off."

"But... you _won't_ actually get cut off, right? This is their territory," Nuru said.

"No, they like to spread out enough that we can slip through, in order to avoid hitting each other. We'll take a couple hits, but our man can cast on the move, hence 'heals on wheels'," the thief said.

"Ready? Break!" the barbarian said.

The ranger dashed out towards the other end of the camp, sighting in on his first target.

The orc took a triple hit and howled, raising the alarm elsewhere.

"Rangers!" the cry went up. "Squishy bow men!"

The three of them made haste towards the far gate, pulling aggro as hard as possible and burning through the ranger's MP at a fantastic rate, who fed on a steady diet of mana potions. The orcs were stronger and faster than Nuru. Musical Trance by itself wouldn't save him, and the enemies were far too numerous. He hated feeling useless, but this quest was above his level. He'd have to go back. Or would he? He invoked Tusa's oath as he backtracked a bit. He didn't have to wait too long before the lyena appeared.

"!Fassada Girma! Rhinopotamus. Can you track it?"

Tusa snorted. Nuru didn't even need to translate.

[Of course.]

The feliform loped off the direction the massive creature had gone, and Nuru shuffled to keep up, following the unmistakable footprints.

"!Kafa Mara Nauyi!"

He was able to keep up for a short while, and they covered a lot of ground, but eventually he fell behind as it wore off.

"Urgh... alright, slow down," he panted.

Tusa slowed to a trot, and they continued until the cooldown expired, and then ran again. They caught up to the rhinopotamus strolling along with two delirious goblins on the back. Nuru dropped the pendant from Fumnaya, anticipating a need to talk to Sanaa. He didn't know the invocation for Entrancement, and wouldn't be able to cast it without her.

"Tusa! Get those two off! I need this creature."

The goblins revived enough to see the lyena prowling for a good position, and goaded their mount to run faster. Nuru dashed ahead of the beast just as his Weightless Foot expired.

"!Tsoratarwa!" he said.

The rhinopotamus jerked to a halt, indicating that Intimidate had worked as intended. The two goblins, sitting carelessly in their saddles and feeling secure, tumbled forward at the sudden deceleration. The one in back managed to scramble back up, but the one in front was thrown far enough to fall completely off. In the daze of hitting the ground, Tusa finished him off in a flash. The rhinopotamus sidestepped awkwardly, conflicted about where to go; the goblin was urging it forward, but Nuru was in the way, and Tusa was a distracting threat it was also trying to avoid to one side. Intimidate lapsed and the mount stepped forward to follow the goblin's instruction.

(Sanaa! Entrancement!) Nuru yanked at her.

/!Yi Mamaki! I never know what to slot for you, Nuru. Good thing I'm still home to swap it out./

Nuru pointed right at the goblin, which took a moment to look at him directly. The world shrank a little, and Nuru felt like he was floating up, right to the second seat. The goblin gawked uncertainly, eyes wide.

"Hey, come here, I need to talk to you," Nuru said.

The goblin chittered something.