All Comments on 'Breathless'

It was hot would have liked more action ;-) hope u keep writing and expand on this story... Seems more apt for Romance than reluctance....

I loved the long, slow build up of emotions and then the physical release at the end. This is what erotic is - something that gets inside of one's mind. Lovely story.

You have potential here, but you must improve your grammar, word usage and spelling. I wondered if English was not your native language? An editor may be of great assistance and help to you. Don't give up or be disheartened - writing is a craft and takes time to develop. Right now, your story is crippled because you need improvement in the foundations of the English language. Good Luck.

on January 5, I too wondered if English is your second language as the errors of spelling, tense, grammar and usage really do need a good editor. That said, however, you do have a very good tale to tell so please don't stop writing, but at the moment your errors are intrusive, and to this English teacher's eye, annoying. Great effort, nonetheless.

I haven’t read the original version, but this one’s pretty good. I really liked the buildup. Maybe you could continue the story.

The little twists leading up to the Lords chambers and then the romantic sex at the end. I wasn’t expecting that. Nicely done!

I loved it! Great story!

To be honest, your description didn’t interest me much at first, but I’m glad I kept reading. You beautifully captured the Spaniards conflict between her former spoiled life, the degrading slavery, and finally her awakened passion and neglected hunger of being a desirable woman. Nice arc. Wonderful, indeed!

Great story, I liked the medieval setup.

What I’ve really enjoyed was how you’ve handled the transition from reluctance to steamy sex. Her underlying desire, carefully manipulated by his gentleness and restraint, as well as the usage of alcohol to overcome bad memories and doubts was very well handled, hence believable for me. Great story!

I'm very happy that you were not discouraged by some of the comments that I have read here. Your work is stellar, and was so even before the assistance I gave you. You have the heart of a writer -- you know how to build plot, to draw character, to engage your reader -- all the things we look for in a good writer. I'm happy that you resubmitted the story, and it is now a proud member of my list of favorites...and I have very few of those!

I am annoyed that the persons who were put off by your non-native English didn't have the courtesy to speak of those things in private. That, after all, is what e-mail is for. It irks me that we cannot show more of that quality that helps others grow without crushing their spirit. I am very proud of your perseverance, and wish my own students would be more like you!

Congratulations on a job well done! :)

Liked your story a lot! Continue writing!

Definitely one of the better stories on Literotica, clearly worth five stars!

I liked it a lot!

Honestly, i'd say more... but really all there is to say is praise!

UGH!

Crawl back under your rock. You obviously haven't the ability to appreciate the fine quality of this story and should stick to reading the crass strokers you prefer. Well written indeed. Thank you.

wonderful noncon and erotic tale of a damsel in distress and a Knight in shining armour!! :)) having a classic and timeless appeal,though cliched!! :))