Brick, Mortar, and Bruises

He wanted to shove her off, get up, strip and run outside to breathe yet was unable to move. The girl was crowding him. He needed to breathe, breathe, breathe.

Then Anni moved, searching for a more comfortable position, and the comforting warmth of her soft, plump body against his flesh anchored Raduz to reality. He put his arms around her, resting one hand on her shoulder and closed the fingers of the other around her arm. He squeezed lightly, just to make sure she was real, and she let out a pleased little cooing sound. He clung to the girl clinging to him and concentrated on mimicking the rhythm of her breathing until it slowed down and deepened. He feared he'd have another panic attack back to back with the first one, but slowly Anni's tiny whines drowned his thoughts and the rhythm of her heart beating calmed him. Raduz dozed on and off, his head going murkier and murkier until he too fell asleep, and, for the first time in 22 years, he slept without the lights on.

Anni slept lightly in the cramped, narrow bunk and listened to him snore. She spent long moments awake, thinking. She was tired of lying dead beneath him, being touched yet not being allowed to touch back. With him right there, fast asleep, she couldn't resist doing what he'd never allowed her to do.

She let her palm slide up and down his chest and across his stomach and side. She reached up and brushed her hand over his forehead and, smiling to herself, felt his messy hair. Asleep he wasn't frightening at all. She was bringing her palm down to touch his face when Raduz grabbed her wrist.

"Time you go back to your own bed," he said, his voice cold and stern.

Anni didn't listen. She shook her arm free and placed it gently on the side of his head.

"No," Raduz said, and took hold of both her hands, pushing them, and her, away. "Enough. Go now."

"Don't," Anni murmured softly. "Let me stay. Just for tonight."

She had no idea how he'd react to her disobedience, but slowly his grip on her loosened one small fraction, then more. The darkness between them grew dense of things left unsaid yet he did not resist when she slid her hands under his t-shirt, sighing with pleasure at the softness and warmth of him.

She sat up and their gazes locked; they were both breathing heavily. There was a spell over them he hadn't allowed into being before, and, without a word, they moved instinctively in response to each other. Anni leaned in to tug at his T-shirt and Raduz straightened his arms to allow her to pull it off and throw it on the floor.

A glow of desire flamed up within her as he went along with her coaxing. Licking her lips in a delicious daze of control, Anni climbed to sit astride his lap. All mine, she mused, as she kissed and caressed his hair and face ever so gently. Raduz had forgotten that a touch could be so gentle - after all, for twenty years touch had existed in his hellish world only as a means to debase and destroy.

Anni's crotch was growing warmer and warmer and she rocked from side to side to ease the acute need to be filled. Her lips dragged downwards on his skin, nibbling, kissing and sucking his neck, shoulders and chest. Eyes closed in the dark she slipped into another world where the only sense that mattered was touch. She got his chest hair in her mouth but didn't want to stop even for the moment it would have taken to spit them out. Now it was her turn to hush and coax him into staying still beneath her, and she grinned like a little devil when he relaxed obediently into her caresses.

She didn't flinch when her lips found his scars; on the contrary, she'd been seeking for them. She ran her fingers over the welts gently, kissing them, licking even, wondering if she would ever get to know how he'd gotten them. But that didn't matter; all she wanted now was to breathe and taste the scent of his skin. Dizzy and out of breath, she nuzzled her face against his shoulder to breathe in the luring male musk of his sweat, writhing and wriggling on his lap in growing anticipation. A jolt of pleasure shuddered through her when she felt his cock swell where her sex was grinding against his boxer shorts.

Now Raduz started moving impatiently, as if he thought it was time he threw her down on the mattress and mounted her, but Anni shushed him gently to sit still. Unknowingly she had found the creature inside that had waited for 20 years for someone, anyone -- mother, sister, lover, friend -- to come fetch him to safety, to hold him and make the beatings stop. No one came, he thought. No one came. No one.

Until now.

The darkest stretch of night had passed and Anni sat up straight and looked at him. She was flushed, and so very beautiful. A small smile made her eyes narrow into dark, seductive pools he hadn't gotten the chance to see before. She leaned closer and rubbed her nose against his cheek and jaw; her gentle touch spoke of mercy, of absolution. In her smile was such honest affection that he wanted to surrender, to let go, to simply break down after all these years and trust her to pick up the pieces.

Repeatedly she moved in, slowly, and pulled back again, teasing him, causing him to repeatedly open his mouth in anticipation like a gasping fish, before she finally pressed her lips on his, slightly open, delicate, loving. He didn't dare move in fear of breaking the spell and driving away his angel of mercy.

She struggled to keep her kisses gentle but found it more difficult every passing second to stay in control of herself and the fierce hunger consuming her. She wanted to devour him until they were so deep under each other's skins that they wouldn't know where one stopped and the other began.

He was full hard now and she sat aside him to pull down his underwear. He grabbed her waist and tried to pull her on his cock but she protested. She leaned him back on the pillows and snuck her hand in between his legs and ran her fingertips teasingly along his balls. He jerked from the sudden sensation, and then groaned when she leaned down quickly and sucked his cock into her soft, wet mouth. His cock smelled sweaty and warm but she was in a craze, wanting nothing more than to suck him and tease him until it would drive him insane. She swirled her tongue inside her mouth, using it to tickle his glans and rub his shaft as her lips worked up and down. She leaned down until his cock was pushing against the back of her throat on every bob of her head, and mimicked swallowing to use the muscles of her throat to milk his swollen glans. She hadn't lied to him before, she was good at sucking cock. Good and eager. She loved to be able to reduce him to a trembling, incoherently mumbling ruin by merely stroking him behind the balls and working his cock with her wet, eager mouth.

He had invested in her the power to get him off and now she took that power and used it. And for once it was he who was helpless, not her. When she sat up to replace one soft, wet hole with another, Raduz reached for her in frenzy, grabbed her ass and pulled her onto his cock. She was ready, so very ready to receive him with every cell that the bursting and rushing sensations of his cock plunging into her left her breathless as if punched.

Anni felt the last remnants of his tenseness melt away as he started fucking her with fiery abandon. For once he was there, all there, with her. No talk of Masha, no ghosts. For the first time he was fucking her. She wasn't just a hole. She was Anni. And he was speaking to her, whispering to her sweet words without a sneer. Words he meant. Words that were for her and her alone.

"I'm going to scream. I'm going to fucking scream. You're so—You're inside me—I can't bear it. Please. Oh god," she mewed and groaned and wheezed as his frenzied upthrusts made her bounce on his lap -- tits, thighs, belly and all. She was more aroused than ever in her life and the difference it made was mind blowing: her cunt was flooding her head with sensations beyond believe. Every nerve ending cascading with pushing, filling, stretching and rubbing, driving her higher and higher into swirling ecstasy. It was the difference between silent films and full-on special effects. There was no rhythm in her breathing, just a constant irregular wheezing, grunting and moaning when he grounded inside her. Never had anyone fucked her like this. And never had she felt so much pleasure at getting fucked. It was as if all those times she'd lain beneath random guys from back home hadn't been sex at all. This. This was what sex was supposed to be like. Always, always this.

"Help me," Raduz huffed in Czech when he felt he could hold out no longer. "Help me, dove."

He needed to say it, needed her to hear it, but was still unable to share his weakness, his trauma, with her in a language she might understand -- but Anni, she already knew. He hadn't succeeded in so destroying her emotionally that she would have become unable to sense the pain in him, the dark shadow behind it all.

Anni rose quickly and shuffled to take his cock into her mouth again. Raduz was seizing up, his throat rattling and wheezing as he tried not to roar out his nearing orgasm for all the crew to hear. His cock tasted of her own cunt but she sucked it anyway, using her tongue to press on his glans and shaft to make her mouth even tighter. Her head ached from the speed she tried to uphold but she didn't want to stop. She wanted him to cum in her mouth, in the only hole he hadn't marked as his yet. She wanted to be marked. Everywhere. All over. All his. All His. For ever and ever and ever.

She started purring and humming, sending the vibrations straight into Raduz's flesh. He groaned and grabbed her head, shoving her down on his cock, all the way down. Anni coughed and sputtered but he was too far gone to notice. His cock punched the back of her mouth, trying to get into her throat. His pubic hair pushed inside her nose and tickled. She needed to breathe but he wouldn't relent. When she tried to pull back he forced her head down harder, thrusting brutally into her throat, hurting her so that tears squeezed from her eyes, making her gag on his cock. She felt vomit rise up from inside her and fought to keep it down but his cock triggered her gag reflex over and over and over. Anni tried to close her throat, he would come on any second and she was afraid his cum would block her trachea and suffocate her. She couldn't bare it anymore, panic took her and she started fighting back, her hands tearing at his death grip. She screamed but nothing but muted moans came out. Raduz growled and thrust again and again into her throat, deeper, harder, desperate.

Then he jolted and shot his load down her throat, pumping back and forth while her body seized up painfully, trying to dislodge the thing blocking her airways. He pulled back some, finally, but Anni couldn't breathe before she had swallowed the cum and vomit in her throat. She swallowed and swallowed while Raduz pumped more warm, thick cum into her mouth, squeezing all of it out with his fist. Anni felt it cover her tongue, the roof of her mouth, the back of her mouth, everything. She tasted the soapy, rubbery foulness but couldn't escape it. His cock shrank back and she drew a panicked breath, coughing and wheezing in despair. He still kept fucking her wide open mouth with his limp cock, he was sloppy and her face was a mess with cum all over but Anni only concentrated on catching her breath and crying in relief. For a while she had thought that she would die with his cock in her throat and emotions ran high.

Raduz looked down on the broken, sobbing creature between his legs and pulled her up and into his arms.

"Shh, little dove, don't cry. It's over now. You did very well," he crooned and stroked her tangled hair.

His finger traced her trembling lips and pushed inside into her mouth.

"Mmgh," Anni protested but Raduz wouldn't stop.

"Uh-uh. None of that," he said firmly, and pushed in more fingers, deeper than the first.

Instinctively Anni jerked her head back but his other hand was in her neck, forcing her to stay still. He poked at the back of her mouth with his fingers until she started coughing and gagging again.

"Shh, let me in. Relax. Open your throat for me."

He forced his fingers past her bruised and hurting epiglottis and kept them there.

"There," he cooed. "Hold it, hold it, feel my fingers. Feel them wriggling in there. Mmh, good girl. Now, keep still as I count to 20. If you squirm or cough I'm going to start the count from the beginning and add two on each time you make me start again. Trust me dove, you want to get used to this for I'll be fucking your throat very, very often from now on."

Anni shivered, and wished he wouldn't be quite so brutal in the future but doubted it. Raduz would make it exactly as distressing for her as he pleased. And it pleased him much when she suffered.

It took three tries for her to keep still while he fucked her throat with his fingers and counted. On the first go she got to 11 before she threw up on the floor, then to 17. On the last try she managed to hold out 'til Raduz reached 24, but only barely.

She was about to get up to start cleaning the mess she'd made on his floor when Raduz yanked her back.

"Now little one," Raduz said, reaching for a bottle of lotion, "get on your hands and knees and show me that little rosebud. I need to take a piss."

Chapter 11

All through the following day Raduz was cold and preoccupied. The connection Anni had felt between them the previous night was lost again. Then, when he finally came to her late at night, Anni sensed the sudden danger right away. During the hours they'd spent together the previous night, at least up until he had raped her throat, he had allowed her to see him -- the real him -- and now, she knew, he was going to make her pay for it. The darkness that controlled him had its claws deep in his flesh and wouldn't let go lightly. The coping mechanism that Raduz had created and nursed for over two decades was now fighting for its existence and she wasn't welcome.

Anni tried to appease her volatile lover with words but Raduz didn't want to listen. Quickly he shoved a rag in her mouth and sealed the gag with a length of tape. Yet somehow her resulting muteness seemed to enrage him beyond anything she'd seen before. He slapped her face, hissing words at her -- taunts, questions, insults -- a barrage of words in Czech that Anni had no way of understanding. Under his breath Raduz kept growling something that she came, with repetition, to understand to mean "answer me." Yet, gagged as she was, she could only stare at him with wild eyes while panicked snot ran from her nose.

"Answer me!" he yelled again, and shook her so hard she heard her bones and tendons snapping ominously. He was the only man she'd ever seen yelling in a whisper. The only man who hated her for caring for him.

When she still kept silent -- except for what mewing she was able to whine through her nose -- he shook her even harder. Her head bobbed wildly and she thought her neck would snap if he wouldn't stop. When she still wouldn't answer him, he started hitting her with his fists, everywhere, growing wilder and wilder and punching harder. Masha, kurva, and answer me was all she could understand from what he spat. She'd closed her eyes, waiting in terror for him to stop it or kill her. He punched her in the stomach and she felt caustic, burning vomit rise in her throat. If he'd punch her again she would cough the vomit up her nose and suffocate in it. She was past even moaning now. No way to plea. No way to beg. His hisses, blows and curses raining over her. His hands tearing her legs open. His fists punching her vagina with full force. Once. Twice. Three times. Pain. Red horrible pain.

Raduz was exhausted, hunched over and panting. The girl was quiet, and when he saw her there, still and unmoving, over the horizon of his still raised fists, reality got hold of him at last and he realized what he'd been doing. He unclenched his fists in shock, tore off the tape and the rag with trembling hands and picked her up in his arms.

"Please forgive me," he babbled, unaware whether he spoke English or Czech. "I'm sorry, dove. Please, dove, my little dove, wake up. Look at me. I'm sorry."

He rocked her back and forth, talking to her gently, listening to her weak breathing, coaxing her to come to.

When she finally stirred at his familiar voice, her hands grabbed at him weakly and she leaned her face against his chest and wept. In the midst of all his regret, shame and self-loathing, he felt happiness and warmth that still, even after the way he'd lost control over himself, she turned to him for comfort and solace.

He didn't sleep at all that night. He kept vigil by her bed, watching with ever-rising levels of guilt as the bruises darkened and spread, leaving only tiny areas of unblemished flesh between them. He had nothing to help her with beyond towels dipped in cold water and garden variety painkillers, which both seemed ridiculously poor and inadequate.

"Please forgive me, little dove," he whispered over and over as she slept it off in an awkward-looking position, for she couldn't close her legs because of the throbbing pain on her battered, purple and swollen pussy.

Raduz had seen Masha looking back at him from her face and lost it. But it should never have happened. Never.

He realized he could have killed her and quickly moved away from the thought, for it put him face to face with thoughts he expressly didn't want to face. The fact that Anni was growing on him made her very, very dangerous to his current world order. An order dependent on a delicate balance that she now threatened to disrupt. Yet no matter how many times he told himself she was just another whore, he couldn't make himself believe it, not really, for she wasn't like the others.

He could see and feel Anni feel, he knew instinctively that what she felt was real, she didn't -- better yet, couldn't -- fake or hide her emotions, and he felt he could trust her because of that. There was no poison in her, no deceit, no lies. He could always be sure of how she felt for he could see it for himself. And he hated himself now for how he had repaid her openness and honesty. He hoped fervently that the shock and trauma of the brutal beating she'd received wouldn't change the sincerity he most loved in her character.

He stopped himself right there. Loved? Loved?!?!!

Raduz saw he was in deep shit now. Too deep.

Anni was sore and weak in the morning, but as Raduz hadn't bruised her face too badly she decided to make the best of it: cake on make up and go to work as usual. Raduz wanted her to stay in bed but she didn't want questions asked. People looked at her funny already.

Raduz watched Anni wince as she walked bow-legged towards the door to get to the showers, her pussy, now one massive, swollen bruise, showed dark purple between the pale skin of her chubby thighs.

On impulse he took hold of her and bent her over the small writing table in her room. She whined in abject fear and pleaded pitiably to be spared, but Raduz had already made up his mind. He shushed her timid protests and rubbed spit on her throbbing, blood-engorged labia. When his glans pushed against her swollen sex she jerked violently and cried out a little.

"Shh!" he hissed. "Be still now, little dove. Remember that you are mine. No matter how much you hurt I will take what's mine when I want to."

He pushed in slowly to make her feel every millimetre of spreading in her tender, battered flesh before his glans was lodged between her cunt lips. The swelling from the bruises made her feel even tighter, softer and deeper around him, and he groaned as his cock slid inside her barely moist cunt.