by peachesandbeth
One of the worst examples of writing I've encountered on Literotica. Absolutely illiterate, and with no character development, relationships, mutuality, sense of drama, no motivation beyond just hormones. This is wanking material, and for a not very good wank.
The only issue with it is that prenups don't actually work, but it doest ruin the story, just takes some mild suspence from reality.
My brother tripped and his dick landed inside me... 1*. Its kinda too bad, the story started with some potential but quickly went downhill from there.
The story lacks any real emotions.
It comes through as a simple mechanical story about a female creature who immediately, but for no clear reason, loses her wits as well as her knickers whenever she encounters a male member of her family/household.
It would have been 5 but as oldpup pointed out you need a good editor. The story could have been outstanding. give the subject matter, but bad grammer took away from it. Keep writing.
Chrissie
TBC
.....don't know who said it first, but damn near every incest story I've read says, "How can anything that feels so right/good be bad/wrong".
Your story line was good and I hope to see and read more of your work. You need to use a grammar check like spell check or get an Editor to correct things before you send them in. The story comes through but some errors are distracting. Keep writing!!