All Comments on 'Broken Vows Ch. 4'

Installments one and two left me quite hot and wanting more. Especially when Mary's cherry was popped by Father Kirk. I was pleased to discover that Father Kirk and Sister Purity are REALLY brother and sister. I was hoping for some hot brother/sister sex. Since I'm not into girl/girl sex, or boy/boy sex for that matter, this installment left me cold. But I am interested in finding out what happens tonight.

Stories 1,2 and 4 are all great. (I didn't read numbers 3 or 5.) I hope you write some more. Tell us what happens to Mary while she's in the convent.

Nobody accepts change that fast, no matter there IQ. Ergo: this fantasy is damn hot, but it'd be more believable if there was a lot more reluctance... that or you could firmly pre-bed Sister Purity in Mary's fantasy realm as an object of affection/love/desire. Mary must, being orphaned at 8, have felt an ongoing need for the acceptance, approval, affection, and love of an older women... maybe not exactly a mother-figure, but an "experienced friend" and confidant at least.

This chapter is immaculately well authored, as per your norm; I just find it impossible to really believe that a puritanically raised near-virgin would accept any expression of her latent bi-sexuality so easily... my expectation is that such an experience would have posed some deep challenges to Mary's self-image, which would most-probably have negatively impacted her self-worth (I.e. it smells like rape, to me)... possibly only after the fact, but none-the-less extremely traumatic; especially coming as it does the very morning after loosing her virginity, to a priest no less.

To keep this chapter as is, I would suggest a preceding "flash back chapter" where Purity helped Mary through the loss of her parents... one laced with controlled simmering sexual tension on Purity's side, never openly expressed, but heart-felt. Kids are smart. They pick up on subliminal sexual signals, which they do remember, even if they don't understand them at the time.

Love, respect, and tenderness moves mountains in all of us.

IMHO, this chapter is not up to your usual (truly excellent) standard. Just my opinion, take it or leave it. Having said that, I find myself eager to read the rest of this series; and everything else you've published.

So, an "A" or maybe an "A-" from me, for one. "Great", but not quite "masterful".

Story is absolutely fantastic! I wish I had studied for the priesthood.