All Comments on 'Brother Anselm on Forgiveness'

This was a fantastic story mostly because that stupid hoe deserved to die in agony and that stupid family deserved every bit of happiness that came there way

I can understand most of this, Sandra helping her sister, etc, but what I can't get my mind around is them feeling like cheating on her husband was a reward for her. So she was dissatisfied with her husband, and this was her sister and brother in law's way of giving back to her? Sorry, without any other backstory, this part doesn't fit at all.

Nah the slut, the sisters slut, the douchebag and the dumb daughter all got away with it. The MC is so fucking dumb he didn't do anything to them

Splendid story!

5

Well, that was interesting. A great read. I enjoyed this immensely.

5 stars

Cagivagurl

The Hospital board may have overruled their legal department, Gary has/had a strong legal case for criminal fraud charge as well as a civil suit. The argument could be made that Gary was to emotionally damaged to pursue civil legal action. But, the option of letting the local Police/DA's office about the crime was available and would fit in with his desire for revenge. Other than that plot hole, a very good and original tale.

Thank-you

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Pasqual

I could tell where this was going from the start. It's completely, utterly and entirely ridiculous

A bit incomplete.

Too many questions unanswered.

Too short, just feels like there should be more

Just when I think LW authors have ran out of premises, comes this

Loved it

That was a thoroughly disgusting read…the writer seems to confuse Christian forgiveness with being a wimp and taking shit from all people the MC loved!! Sad!

Just a little bit more about Julieta, please. Why abandon her father? The non-relatives have more pull than her victimized father, who is in mourning, not to mention dead mother?

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And why did Paul (et. el.) not suffer consequences from committing the fraud?

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Must have been hard on Sandi growing up, losing father Paul and having Mary an alcoholic mother. And with no blood or legal connection to Gary, why seek him out?

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Finally, cut the last paragraph. It's a unannounced scene change, and a reality change, and adds nothing. Many theologians will argue that there is no remorse in heaven.

like it , but also like to read a 2nd part with Julieta meets her Dad again

Yikes. Great story for first two pages then “meh”

Honestly I kind of expected that Sandra had faked her death to run away from her husband with her sis and brother in law's help. The fact that she went through with this scheme even full well knowing what would happen means that she's truly insane and that the co-conspirators in this plan are supreme narcissists. My one unresolved part of this story is that Paul avoided the assbeating he so richly richly deserved.

1st half of story was pretty good. The Brother Anselm half sucked big time. 1*

The notary is in trouble. Notarizing isn't just a formality, the notary is verifying that the person signing is actually the person they're supposed to be.

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I thought he was going to find out that the hospital had informed them of additional risks beyond the expected, and he wasn't told.

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"I'm demanding that you accept what we did and that you'll be lonely for the rest of your life, maybe 40 years or more." - Why the fuck should he be lonely? She fucked him over, and now is making demands?!

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I wondered why Julieta kept calling the baby her sister, wasn't surprised to find out about the affair.

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"Paul looked at her and Julieta, aghast." - That should be Gary.

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"I want my Dad! " - A little late for that!

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"The hospital board overruled their legal department, so they weren't prosecuted for their fraud on the hospital." - I don't understand that.

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I wouldn't give Julieta the time of day.

Liked the premise but the story was rushed. This kind of betrayal needs a motive to be believable, and none of the characters motives were explained. And it doesn’t make any sense why they would have been talking about emancipation and adoption.

Dumb and rather pointless.

No problem for me if tomorrow’s headline reads Sandra and Julieta found beheaded.

I think you did an excellent job of finding a unique angle for this story. That seldom seems to occur on this site. This was a good, yet sad, read.

The beginning was very interesting and new, but the Monk brother thing kill it all, it was the worst ending

My twin from the UK. Nice story. Thank you for writing, Randi.

This was a very interesting story. It was well written with a fascinating plot. Nice job and five stars from me.

Could have used a little more especially the ending sentence section, if sandra was waiting there should have been some mention how did she escape being guilty of adultery and the lying

Wow! What a different and unusual story. I enjoyed this story until the last paragraph, which I found unsatisfying. Despite the last paragraph, I gave you 5 stars, in part because of the originality

Totally pathetic! After such an opening that suggested a great ending it turn out to be a pile of unmitigated garbage. Maybe a decent author will rewrite and post a better ending.

Strange story. What was the point of this?

An excellent story, but the end was way too abrupt.

"Do you think she's in hell?"

Well, she’s an unrepentant adulterer, so yes!

Why is it a reward for Sandra to have sex with Paul? Is he something special?

When did she start to fuck Paul? Before or during her pregnancy?

Hey Matt usually I hang up on a story when it gets religious, but you did it in such a non threatening or should I say preaching manor that it held up the story beautifully. Well done!!!

Turned my stomach too much along the way to make it to the last page. Not my cup of tea, or even close to it, actually.

While the hospital might have tried to buy him off to bury it, they wouldn't just drop it to avoid bad publicity as that would just encourage him to go public himself. Sadly, that kind of stupidity is the one constant in this story.

This is a five for the story line alone I do think the meeting with the monk could be cleaned up a little

Why didn't he get on with his life beside being a monk?

What the heck was that ending? Nonsense. But thank you for sharing your talents.

This does kind of feel incomplete. I think there needed to be more information on why his wife chose to do what she did, why Paul acted the way he did, and why his daughter willing to abandon him. The end part with Sandy seemed unnecessary as well.

This was an emotional read but well worth the tears. 5 stars.

Excellent 5***** story. I don't think he quite has the forgiveness accomplished, but he seems to have lost much of his anger. The one thing that stands out as being out of character is his wife cheating on him with the brother in law as a way of them saying thank you. That goes far outside the delusional generosity for her sister unless that in vitro didn't take and that is how she got pregnant? If so, another hurtful lie.

I think that that was one of the best, and most imaginative stories I've read from the LW. I will give it 5* even though I feel something is missing at the end

A truly shocking story about a terrible betrayal by everyone involved. There were so many crimes involved they should still be in jail to this day. Hated the way you ended the story wherein it just seemed Gary continued to be the loser.

Reading about the main character's impotence reminds me of the great old Pink Floyd song: "Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way!"

He could have sued the hospital and everyone else involved as he had proof of forgery. And he should have gone after Paul's ass and broken his balls forever. God will not forgive him for letting such trash live! The bitch sister and his daughter should have been made to pay somehow. A totally unsatisfactory state of affairs. I give three stars for trying something new.

Nice new take on a cheating/cucking situation. I wouldn't have objected if Paul met a fiery demise in an accident, though.

Very interesting … and different. Thank you.

What a shitty story real vile actually

Surprisingly good - the scene with Brother Anselm was outstanding, and made the story. He's found peace, and in a way that might be unique on this site.

Would have been 5 stars except for the last two sentences.

how in the fuck does anybody think this is a good story? .

First there is no God... there never has been and never will be. I realize that religious people are by definition intrinsically stupid and incapable of critical thinking.

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The entire premise in the motive is completely unstated and ridiculous to the nth degree. The premise are so

extreme by husbands wife his daughter and his in-laws and so over-the-top that it requires a quite a bit of the foundation in order to make the story believable. But there isnt any.

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How exactly does a husband not realize that his wife has an extreme illness ? How does he not go to the police? Even worse ...i n the story he doesn't even think about going to the police.

Tremendous story. Totally unsatisfactory, disappointing ending. Obviously typical of your stories.

What a fascinating and unusual concept for a story! This was very well done, I only object that I would've liked a bit more fleshing out at the end.

I’m not sure how anyone could say that this wasn’t an original plot. I haven’t read anything like this previously in LW. Very original and very good story.

Well, this was certainly a different angle for this type of story. Many thanks. Not would I would have done and, as the story accepts, Gary knew that he had a major part in the event happening due to him being a weak and pathetic doormat of a husband. Even the "joining a monastry" part was the imbodiment of being pathetic and not taking revenge on the B and S In Laws and then his daughter's betrayal. Just weak.

Different tale, with the original twist of "suicide by pregnancy". I have heard of "suicide by cop" and of "fucking somebody to death" and I certainly would like the latter kind of death better. Thanks for the tale.

Loved it. Thank you! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING BLAZING, HUGE NOVA STARS!

I admire the attempt at something different.

It starts so abruptly with them in the waiting room while Sandra is giving birth and dying. We aren't given anything on Gary and Sandra's backstory. They have a 16 year old daughter. From Sandra's letter we get that she knows Gary loves her very much. Sandra, Mary & Paul ganged up on Gary to get him to go along with the surrogacy. That's pretty much all we're given.

Why would Sandra do something so extreme as to have her sisters baby knowing it's likely going to kill her? Them to randomly have a few threesomes with her sister and brother-in-law as a reward?

No reasons or motivations even hinted at. Gary having a theory 16 years later of she must have had an undiagnosed mental illness???

Neither Mary or Julietta seem overly upset that Sandra died. Julietta calling the baby her sister and just casually abandoning her father? No basis for that behavior given at all.

Creative idea, no development. Hard to score this highly.

There's a rushed feeling to the story, as an earlier commenter said.

I don't write mean comments. I found the whole thing seemed somewhat incomprehensible. Why did Sandra do any of this? Why did she write that letter as she did? Why did Julieta reject her father as she did? OK, are these people all sort of crazy, except for the MC? Is it really a bad fever dream from which the MC will awaken in NYC, like Bob Newhart after his TV series about a Vermont innkeeper, and think, 'a monk? I became a monk?'

What a tremendous scenario! Incredibly creative.

I *personally* would have liked a little more pain heaped on the conspirators by Gary: lawsuit etc. But the setup is so great (ie horrific) that it almost doesn't matter what the denouement is – Brother Anselm's conversation with the grown-up child is as good or better than any routine "burning" like we get so often here.

I know this won't be seen but what a load of crap. That was fucking terrible.

Well, I agree with HDK& Randi (legends) as it being a nice & interesting story. 5 stars

"Paul looked at her and Julieta, aghast. "What fucking reward did I get? Nothing! You took my wife and my daughter away from me!""

You mean Gary.

Ended up skipping to the end.

Unusual and dark, though well written (with only minor errors). Some of it didn’t make sense to me (e.g., no legal recourse for the fraud? Sandra’s betrayal?), but it’s apparently the story the author wanted to tell.

Good story until the very end.

What absolutely mindless drivel.

1*

What a load of crap. No one would act that way.

Interesting and worthwhile explanation for how forgiveness can heal. Thank you

wow. This is one of your best by far No nitpicking here

I thought Sandra had her tubes tied? What was the reason for the infidelity?

Unlike what the story says, the hospital overruling it's legal board wouldn't make the decision whether to prosecute Paul, Mary and Paul's friend. That decision is made by whatever the prosecuting body is in that jurisdiction-generally called the District Attorney, Attorney-General or Director Public Prosecutions-and Paul could have started things off by reporting it to the police.

None of the characters in this bizarre tale seemed in any way realistic to me.

Great story!

Gary was such a loser. Weak and pathetic; in essence his weakness caused all of the disastrous problems.

Turned my stomach a little too.

Hard to believe that Julieta would shrug off her mother's death so easily

I won't score this as it would be unfair due to my disdain for organized religion.

@sbrooks103 —

Re this: "'The hospital board overruled their legal department, so they weren't prosecuted for their fraud on the hospital.' - I don't understand that."

I think the deal is the hospital board decided not to sue or pursue any remedy for the fraud against them. MattblackUK is probably using the wrong word "prosecuted": any proceeding here would be civil not criminal. They weren't sued for their fraud on the hospital.

Not good ending

The hospital may have voted not to prosecute but nothing stopped Gary from suing Paul and Mary for wrongful death.

It was well written and interesting. I gave it 5 stars but I absolutely hated it. Such horrible people.

The only interesting part of this story is the MC dropping out of sight in a monastery. Not what you expect in a Literotica tale. 4 star for good writing skills. Subtract 1 for unmotivated character actions in plot.

That was quite original and interesting. Well done.

Paul is the kind of pipsqueak who runs from his own house when challenged, but having sex with him was a reward for Sandra? Something there doesn't pass the vibe check.

Very sad, especially with that twist at the end. Thank you for posting it.

Kinda enjoyed but not where I would have went.

A true Christian would ask for forgiveness, but Paul deserves some comeuppance before he leaves for the spiritual world, like a good, lifelong, debilitating ass whipping. A way for him to be paralyzed below his waste for the rest of his life maybe. Original story, still good (****), but I wished I hadn't read it.

that was quite a story. I am not big on the religious angle either, but i liked that he found something meaningful for his life. I keep wondering what the "re connection" with his daughter might have looked like...it could have gone many ways i suppose. Great story..

You said in the story she had her tubes tied and he got fixed. If you wanted her to get pregnant, you needed to have a sentence or two saying she didn't actually do it and why. 4*

"Do you think she's in hell"? Absolutely. She fornicated, lied, stole and committed an untold number of of mortal sins. The christian world fantasy that everyone goes to heaven is in direct opposition to what the Bible teaches. And that letter, fuck!!! She demands that the adulterous trio be forgiven and that he spend 40 years sad and alone. WOW!!!! Julieta is all smiles and happiness the day after her mother dies. Then she abandons her father. Gary was smart to leave her behind.

May be awhile before I decide if I love this or hate it. Either way it’s a fucking masterpiece.

I'd love some insight into Sandra's thinking. I don't understand why her sister having a baby was more important than her teenage daughter and husband having a wife and mother.

And as others have said, why would having a threesome be a reward for Sandra?

Also, no matter the hospital didn't press the fraud issue, Gary could! He was the victim after all!

And why was Paul allowed to get off scott free?

Why would Julieta want to abandon her father so easily?

Plus, also as others have said, why would Mary and Julieta not care that much about Sandra's death?

There are just too many plot holes and unanswered questions. Not too mention the bad guys basically get away with everything.

Julieta is written as having virtually no love for her father at all. I know teenagers can be headstrong and not think things through but this was too much.

I realize because of the timeline you had to work with as a result of the authors challenge you wasn’t able to flush this story out more and close the gaps and correct the inconsistencies so that this all made perfect sense . But I’m telling you , for what time you had to work with you did an unbelievable job , the originality was outstanding from start to finish ; from disaster through the realms of hell and finally into a place of serenity , all from an original idea within a limited timeline . Impressive indeed . Gonna give you a solid 5 even though , and yet perhaps because , your characters got under my skin very uncomfortably . Amazing work under pressure !

As outlandish as the whole story is, the most surprising part was how the daughter dealt with the death of her mother. Not one iota of emotion. Just 'yeah shes dead'; 'cya dad'; your worst enemies will adopt me. What the actual fuck happend in their family? Wife willingly cheats, betrays and has no problem with just dying and the daughter doesnt care about anything. Not about her mother and not about her father. Absolutely didnt enjoy the story. Last question, was god the woman he loved? Otherwise I cant explain how the plot fitted the event.

The general idea is good but too many things don't make sense.

No hell and she's dead, not waiting. The idea of a hidden mental illness is not so convincing. D

5-star story!

Demosthenes384bc: Just because Sandra's Fallopian tubes were "tied," that does NOT mean her uterus or ovaries were removed, She would still ovulate every month, and her menstrual cycle would be unaffected.

I just realized I was about to go into lecture mode so I'm stopping here. Sorry.

@26thNC, a similar story was "Last Man" by MichaelFitzgerald and a follow-up "Last Man - Brian's Tale" by GeorgeAnderson, the first about a man of Scottish heritage who was a "clan leader," desperate for a male heir, and his wife couldn't have children, and her sister volunteered. The second one focused on the sister's husband.

"we had your birth certificate with us as identification" - A birth certificate isn't an ID, as is obvious here.

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I thought Sandra had her tubes tied, so how could she get pregnant by fucking Paul? "They had agreed at the time of the birth [of Julieta] that Sandra would have her tubes tied and Gary would have a vasectomy, which they both did." Just figured it out, the fucking was separate from the pregnancy, so it was flat-out cheating, and now she's DEMANDING that he be lonely for the rest of his life?!

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"Is he safe? Is he well?" - A little late to be showing concern for him.

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"I realized that I could have stopped the surrogacy from the very start, just shut them down." - How? If Sandra really wanted to do it, he couldn't stop her. The one chance he might have had was the waiver, and they took that away from him.

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"If my mom knew she would most likely die" - Did she? She knew that she was at high risk, but "most likely?" Even with a waiver of liability, I question if doctors would perform an unnecessary procedure under those conditions.

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@JayZip, I believe you are correct.

@jflinders, the DA would only prosecute if somebody brought charges. If neither Gary nor the hospital did, they wouldn't even know about it.

Nonsense from start to end!

Despite my mixed feelings, I gave it 5 stars because it's s certainly well written and thought provoking. As far as I know, a new crazy twist on stories of betrayal here in LW land.

I do note the many points listed in other comments, but most could be explained with just adding to the story and not changing what is already here.

Well done, Matt.

I haven't given a 5 star rating in awhile.

I really enjoyed this take on the challenge with Sandra being willing to give her all so her sister could have a baby but her cheating flies in the face of that giving nature and puts her in a bad light. Gary’s withdrawal and life change after Sandra’s death was sad but understandable as presented. I’m glad he found solace if not true happiness and hope that Sandra has a nice long wait for him. Great job and thanks for participating in the challenge.

5-star story. The characters are real; although I have to agree with others about Julieta's complete ghosting of her father, and her lack of caring about her mother dying

@Demosthenes384bc - The MC stated that Sandra had her tubes tied, not that she'd had her ovaries and uterus removed. Not gonna give an ANP 101 lecture; but it's _possible_, if really stupid.

IANAL, particularly an English one, but it seems to me that the hospital would want to Cover Their Arses against future fraud by publicly going after the forgery.