All Comments on 'Brothers and Sisters on Snow Day'

That's okay ........ Keep the other part of the Story. Just another Mundane Brother Sister Story. Not very original either.

Great job. I can't wait for more!

lOVED IT PLEASE MORE

It is an excellent erotic Story .Continue please. Thank you

So... this is me asking for more. Great start, just don't go so fast!

I would love to have part 2 in this story, please

If the rest of it is as tiredly formulaic as this part, don't bother posting it.

Bro and Sis, is a definite miss, Oh, the rest of the story? Ever heard of the delete key?

Probably not outsatnding yet; but still with a little more practice and HEAT. Always interesting to get a woman's/girls angle. Encouragement

I did not read it, just because of your childish comment about being a stinker. If you don't have the guts to publish your work in its complete form, and ask for comment like an adult. You should get out of the story writing business before it is too late.

If you can't accept rejection, you should not be attempting to write.

why does Literotica keep allowing people to post lame ass shit like this? Unbeleivably trite, poor grammar... no, I won't be asking for the last part of this. In fact, I couldn't even read all off this one.

Good start to the story.

Could have been a little longer with a little more description.

Where are the parents when all this is going on?

Enough of the critic..

Would love to read part 2

Please do post it.

good start to an interesting story.. finish it for me, if it gets better..

Great start..

awesome start...shame your keeping the 2nd part to yourself. you really should post it. hopefully it'll be as good as the 1st.

Its an interesting start although they are moving pretty fast. Would like to continue and read the next installment.

A very good start for a new writer.Although a bit fast but i liked it.As for the critics i have nothing to say and for the writer dont give up i will be looking forward to read more of stories

man what a start keep on writting another chapter good story

i liked it and think you should continue

please don't leave me hanging. Great start.

still great work! In the future you might want to make the characters bond a little bit more first, but it's all up to you.

I've never read a lousier piece of shit in my life.

great start, where is the next chapter? you cant just leave us hangin!

Thid cliffhanger proceeds most seductively, and I want to know what happens next.

It's not a story yet. I don't agree with the comments, but he should have taken her hard, and made her his. This is pornography not a chic-flick. As suggested, you need to heat up your idea with at least 3 or 4 more long chapters. Get her best friend involved, then Mom, and maybe her sister. It's in your head, make it happen. So far your grammar and editing are good, now get nasty, you'll like the reviews. Burn these.

XYZ

And.... ? Why didn't you finish the scene?

A fairly good beginning. Work on your grammar.

so where is the second part

It blows, that's what I thought. It isn't really a story-it's more like notes for a story. It also should have been proofread before being shared.