All Comments on 'Bully Roommate and Horny Girlfriend'

Bully wins shits story

Man, I wish Kyle would get his revenge. Tony was horrible. Becky was worse

Put a realistic ending on it... Becky turns up pregnant, Tony dumps her for some strange and Kyle goes on with his otherwise boring life. End loser is Becky who gets to remember Tony through Tony jr the rest of her life.

back to your best. great story!

I was on the edge of my seat but the ending was completely awful.

It started so good, all until that awful ending wich genuinely pissed me off.

I didn't consider the ending to be particularly important, that's why I finished it up as it was. Fellas, you got to elaborate, provide suggestions. What would make it better, exactly? How do you picture it going better?

It was supposed to be a short story, by the way, I already went over the word count I expected for it :D

Dumb cucking here. Easy out. His Dad doesn't know he's stealing. Apt complex doesn't stand for dommestic abuse.

It’s too fucking sad. It was a good story but I am just shocked by it.

Great story and nicely detailed. Not a great fan of the coarse language used by Tony. However it was interesting to see Becky's change of heart and her thought process. They do seem well-matched. Sequel?

Awesome!

The way I wrapped it up, I honestly didn't plan for a sequel. I think my error was misleading advertisement - I should've made it clear that it's gonna be one of those dark, not-a-happy-ending ones, The wrong category too, maybe? I think, going forward, the 'Fetish' category will be more appropriate place for my smut

Can you do one that's similar to slut on the bus or sisterly blackmail please

Should write an alternative ending where the next morning, Tony hears her offer herself back to Kyle, he comes out and says she's amazing, but he's not looking for a girlfriend right now. Kyle takes her back and then Tony "accidentally" runs into her the following week and seduces her again. He then talks her into stay dating Kyle, who can be her "nice" boyfriend, but that she should work to get him ok with her and Tony hooking up every so often. So Becky, very motivated, pulls every womanly trick to convince Kyle that she needs this and it's just sex and whatever else she needs to get him to let Tony have her from time to time.

A large number of awkward phrases and sentences made for a difficult read. The plot is traditional but well done.

Most stories of this type do not include dialogue of this quality. Both external and external comments were pertinent to the story. Becky's lack of resistance was well-explained, but the sex scene was too long and labored. Kyle's reaction was weird and didn't add to the story. A poor ending as suggested by many others. This was a very hot story and while it is in the wrong category, it was a fun read.

Wow, @mitchawa, this is what I call constructive criticism! Thank you! I'd like to request you contact me so I could pick your brain for more information, examples, and so forth

I'm usually more of a fan of cuckquean stories than cuckold/bully story, but this one caught my eye. I enjoyed the humiliation and the dialogue. And frankly, while I still struggle with the premise of seducing and bedding the girl in like, what, 20 min?, I think it was done as well as possible with that requirement. Though I'm with others that the ending was a bit weak.

Like I agree that I see her being conciliatory and apologetic to Kyle the next morning. Maybe even attempting to salvage something with him. However, I struggle with the instant renege to fall into Tony's arms. I agree with Anonymous that it would have been more interesting to see if she could have somehow salvaged something with Kyle, while later attempting to have the forbidden fruit as well and trying to get and keep both.

Interesting story with good build up. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

Highly enjoyable thanks

Honestly, I thought you stopped writing since I didn't see an update for over a year. Glad to see you return. The ending was a bit scuffed but I liked the whole concept. I can just turn off my brain and enjoy the smut.

As a few other people have said, this one's a quality story, but the ending definitely feels like it lets the story down. If it had cut off with the end of the actual sex and Kyle taking psychic damage, it would've been much improved. Or maybe if Becky had told Tony off and reconciled with Kyle before relapsing later, it would've given a better sense of finality. As it is, the ending is a bit vestigial. Good stuff though, and I'm glad you're back! Hope we get back to the cuckquean stuff soon. That's good times.

Thanks for the reviews and information :D This is exactly what I want to hear, so keep it up.

As an off-topic remark, yes, the next one is going to be a 'classic' theme, so to speak.

Glad to see you return!

This was a good story! Though, I was almost expecting that when Kyle finally got back to the apartment, he'd find Tony and Becky just relaxing, or maybe even glaring at each other.

He'd notice they were sweaty, and Becky's hair messed up, and they'd make up some bull-shit excuse, like maybe Tony was surprised when she came in and they almost had a scuffle or something...and gullible Kyle would believe them. Then Becky would say tell Kyle the mood was ruined and he'd strike out, all while she kept seeing Tony behind his back.

But the humiliation they put Kyle through in the end, how Becky considered dating him again when she thought Tony was through with her, and then discarded Kyle like garbage when she realized she still had Tony as first pick, that was great!

Hope to see more from you soon!

A great story that elicited some powerful reactions and emotions. Can you ask for anything more from a piece of erotic fiction than it making you hard and horny but also invested.

It tweaked so many trigger feelings inside me. A fear of inadequacy. A fear of missing out. Of finding a woman way out of your league and having your worst fears of her being snatched away from you come true.

As a boob man I would have liked more worshipping/playing with them but it ticked so many boxes. As for the ending well in true bullying style I just felt sick at the end. The emotions were so raw and so powerful that I thought Kyle would either kill himself or kill them. I think I would have preferred the latter but only because I hate bullies.

Anyway a great little story which for me laid out the setup in just enough detail to have my hands trembling in excitement.

Yeah....not so much a fan of NTR from the perspective of the guy who's being cheated on.

Your stories are great!Please write a story about incest mother son behind father's back

This story is really hot!Write the story of a mother and son, I am sure it will be excellent in your performance.

I can't begin to describe how hot this story is. You've made it incredibly exciting and it is really fun.

Hope to read more of your work.

NTR from the other guy is not a good time.

Was good until the ending. The herbivore cuck got what he deserved. But concluding that the slut found happiness doesn't fit the characters. Sluts like her can't help but fuck assholes like him. But they are never anything more than a fucktoy. Pretending they will be a happy normal couple is just silly. Predators are always looking for the next prey.