All Comments on 'Burn the Bitch!'

Finally something interesting

Loved it.

Absolutely the best story I have read in months, Brilliant. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

And the best part is how it will tweak the nose of the angry misogynistic children who love BTB stories

Cool….I like it. If I had my druthers though I’d trade the sex scene for a detailed BTB in all its glory!

Hahahahaha

Thank you for a great Monday morning laugh!

I had my doubts, but I stuck with the story a bit longer and was pleasantly surprised. I have tried posting satires a few times. I even have one I'm working on at present. They go over like a fart in church, or a turd in the punch bowl in LW scoring, but good scores are not the goal with a parody, are they? Nicely done.

Moron

Excellent trolling. The epilogue is particularly funny parody. The Loving Wives category needs more humor like this.

Good humor. Should let Trump read it.

Moron seems fair.

Do you know how to use an AK. Of course, I’m a Democrate. Promptly shoots isle in the foot. See now I don’t have to fight.

Methinks JazzyG is a trifle cynical :)

Jazzy is obviously a Biden voter with a bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome. The political jabs took away from any humor attempted. But as we all know leftists are humorless creatures. A sad existence really.

Funniest story on the site. Thanks for a hearty laugh on an otherwise dreary day.

I don't know. Feels kinda like a kneejerk reaction of a butthurt author to me.

I fail to see the value in telling people that their fantasy tales do not align with reality, so, in the end, it feels like all this amounts to is insults based on political views that don't align with your own and readership bashing.

Entire satirical piece is spot on perfect and like all satire/humor a tad or more of truth throughout — well, maybe not Marcus’s 9 3/4 long - coke bottle girth cock. The parenthetical 3rd paragraph about sums up much of LW tales and like so many the comments are half the fun - odd how some/many take this stuff so seriously (need to chill). Even when you craft/share a serious piece within LW (Lipstick Hangover) the reaction is by/large predictable and inane. Keep sharing your vivid imagination in whatever category — just keep sharing.

In all my years I have finally found out that Republicans are the only males that get divorced, that means that Democrats must all be cucks. Thanks Jazzy for the information.

Nicely done. I’m a big fan of poking fun at LW tropes including the cliches in the comment sections. Toss in a little political jab or three and you have yourself a winner in my view.

Hood cheater tale till the anony end part

As soon as I read "I voted for Trump" the character was on my shit list. I can't believe that people with common sense sense would vote for such a person. But after witnessing the news channels in the USA I'm not surprised anymore.

Somebody, sometime had to come out and say it... with the duly necessary humor... I had fun!

The David Spade of stories, trying so hard to be clever but failing miserably....

Satire works best when it’s tight, and this could have used some tightening. Otherwise, great work.

Another nonsense and totally unrealistic femdom cheating fantasy, describing the husband like an unbelievable brainless idiot and the wife like the smarter slut in town. No wonder the low readers rating.

Lol

Funny

Horseshit, even for a satire. I don't think you missed a single trope.

Not the subtlest of yarns, but picturing the BTB kiddies' heads exploding does put a smile on my face. The only problem is that they're definitely not going to understand the satire of the epilogue.

Sometimes I can appreciate folks on the other side- they can write clever stories, they can use humor, they can be interesting. This is one of them, well written, and a very different take on the BTB theme. BUT, when their arrogant smugness takes over and dominates the story, then yes, it's too much. When the intelligent elite, the enlightened ones, the college educated infants cannot see the fallacy of their positions; when exploding crime rates and inflation and wars around the globe occur, but they don't compare to nasty tweets and the awfulness of feelings being hurt- then it's time to give up on ever expecting any honest reality out of such folks. They're just too 'above' everyone else, and sneer at those of us stupid MAGA heads who can't see the brilliance of Miley Cyrus' naked antics. Yes, fidelity and faithfulness are just antiquated notions steeped in terrible traditions like 'family'. The REAL problems today are in the continued use of such hateful and transphobic terms like 'mom', and 'mother', and 'woman'. (I'm sure Jazzy will edit these terms out, more likely delete the whole comment, like his buddy Kalimaxos always does; just too much reality)

Hilarious!

Haha BTB - SF, Nice. I agree with the comment below, the sex scene could have been shorted and more on the actual BTB. Truely enjoyable story, loved the comment: “That's the woke liberal snowflake deep state fake media that's been coddling you and brainwashing you all your life. It's time to man up and strike back."

Thanks for writing 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is humorous??? It’s just another stupid bbc story.

Boring, not that funny or clever, just beating an overdone trope.

Utterly stupid story

Poor attempt at humor and the political stuff was bs and NOT what I want to read on a porn site.

JizzyG, another safe space Sally who only wants positive reviews from the simp bitch/cuckboy club....

Petty funny

Lame.

This ranks up there with Piper Hamlin's "Valuable Lessons."

Democrats being cucks is the best reason to donate to their party. Lots of lonely, unsatisfied wives, not getting it at home, as these limp-dicked betas clap and cheer while a real man fucks the hell out of their so-called 'wives' as they jerk off to the sight of a better dick and they long for a chance to slurp up another man's cum like the beta bitches they truly are. There, do we have the comment portion of this parody complete now?

Pretty good satire of the genre, while also looking fun at other stereotypes ( put it this way, demographically many of those who claim to be about family values/fidelity often have the highest divorce rates).

The one thing that the wife says that is why current divorce laws screw the husband is that very few women these days are stay at home moms, only about 15%. So the idea of protecting the stay at home mom is quaint. There also is the quaint notion that a child is better with its mother, that is another anachronism in the law. The other fact is that in many places, esp in the red states, child support is either a joke or they don't enforce it.

The reality is that unless you are talking the rich and famous, in a divorce everyone is screwed, no one does well.

Interesting story!

4

Put the maga hat on, it fits!

Peach Yoghurt #15? You buy the wrong peach yoghurt. If you would by a good peach yoghurt, it would end up at #5 or so.

Why put politics in a story? You immediately polarize your readers.

Haha I wanted to hate it… but I couldn’t do it

WOW. Comments are terrific, and very much appreciated; INCLUDING the negative ones. I thought of this as a group project, and your comments are as much a part of the product as my story is. For the record, I haven't deleted any comments to this story, and I don't intend to. Have at it!

I mean if you disrespect the marriage, why should you deserve a cut of the betrayed spouse, never really know what happened to said skank wife, Elena, or whatever her name was, probably something they should have discussed like why did the women cheat, if she saw him reading it, could have been a conversation starter and curious on how that piques his interest. Guess she didn't care, otherwise why cheat? Don't think anyone would want to be stuck with someone like that.

1 star - not even worth commenting

@ifosauger you voted Biden thanks for clarifying the idiot that you are

Yeah...but he could still do something ultra self destructive like burn the house down, main them both, or just her, or even murder them. You really don't wanna emasculate someone then corner them with no way out.

I’ll never read another story from this ignorant author again.

I love this. Well-written, really humorous self-aware satire with a generous dollop of meta. Skewering all the right targets in a target-rich environment. Great read - Bravo!

Had a hard time rating this one. I realize it was both satire and parody. But I have a problem where an author interjects themselves into a story. It ruins the flow and the “realism” of the fiction (if that makes sense). Still it was entertaining to a point. 3*

What kind of mixed up crap is this? What are you trying to say. They make MAGA condoms too so that you are never left unprotected or with colored hair.

Finally a bold move allowing an anon to contribute to your wonderful story . His well contrived ending really made your story pop . I do have a bit of experience in this particular area however and I found anons ending just slightly unrealistic and not cost effective per se . I’m sure that had anon thought about it a bit more he would have likely came to the same scenario as I : calling in a full USAF five jet configuration air strike targeting the slutty housewife and her disrespectful paramour right inside the lions den of his apartment complex using napalm followed by a containment unit then by demolition and clean up crews clearly would have been more effective while maximizing casualties and greatly reducing the possibility of potential witnesses as a side benefit . Come on anon use your noggin

I tried to find something in it that I but couldn't and didn't. Adding politics to the story from another sad democratic SJW was just crass

I think there's loads of space on You-Tube for another social justice diatribe so let's keep Literotica for some sort of literary content and not hate speech

Well, you've succesfully managed to guarantee I'll never click on another of your stories. Trolling your audience is very poor marketing. Enjoy your Bud Light.

Sorry, but REALLY Stupid. As to men cheating more than women-TOTAL B.S. These days, women cheat as much OR MORE than the men. I recall a former GF telling me she thought maybe 75% of the women she worked with (professionals) cheated. 43 & 2 kids already in college. So, she would have been no more than 22 at the oldest when she 1st got pregnant? Adding politics may give you the writer joy, but you're going to alienate a good part of your audience.

Ok, now this was funny, and also original! Hats off to you!

Just a different way to present another fetish-cuck tale, with an unbelievable justification. These fetish-cuck fantasies are almost always very much disliked in this LW category, so no wonder the usual low readers rating.

Just another, almost funny, femdom dream.

Keep it coming boys (and girls, if applicable). A couple of notes...1) If you looked at my profile pic, you might realize I'm black, so feel free to let fly with racial comments (anonymously of course); 2) yes, I leaped to an assumption that there's a high correlation between the BTB and MAGA crowds, but based on the comments, it appears I was correct; 3) as for the detailed sex scenes, first of all it's an erotic literature site; secondly I enjoy writing them; and thirdly I wanted to stoke the outrage of the BTB crowd. In any event, I hope you continue to enjoy or despise my work, and keep the comments flowing!

Oh, one more comment, the numbers about men cheating more than men came straight from Google, quoting a study that sounded reasonable. When I kept diggning, I kept seeing the same number.. is it right? Who the fuck knows. But I think it's more reliable than "my wife's sister's friend's cousin told me that ALL women cheat" or the guy who just said "75% of women cheat" without anyrhing to back it up. But I encourage you to DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH and find a number you belidve in.

I liked it, the satire that is. as for her age and already having 2 kids, in about 5 years she'll be in menopause, and unless she's taking hormones, will not be wanting any sort of sex for the next 8 to 10 years. BTDT, got the t-shirt. I'm surprised they didn't have a microphone in Marcus's apartment or a recording of her admitting her infidelity with Marcus. Not that it would matter in some states.

He could also split the assets, quit his job, and move away, after changing all the bills over to her name for the house. He could have had an assessment of the value of the house, and split that number and take all of the money when he left, leaving her the house. Or even taking out loans against the house and business to make sure he had enough to leave. Granted it wouldn't be a BTB, but it would get him out of a toxic marriage.

That was an attempt at satire that was a little overdone. Neat how you worked the stereotypical big black clown into your story too. Why Marcus for the stereotype? Were Jamal, Jerome and DeWayne back in jail. Have to say that this would actually be my reaction, but I don’t own an AK.

Suggest you quit whilst you're behind.

Your tropemobile sure laid down some rubber on Stereotype Ave.! Congratulations on a magnificent satire and a well delivered stick in the eye of idiots! If there were a rotunda in a Literotica Reader's Hall of Fame I would enshrine your story there amongst the notables. 5 stars.

Most statisticians believe the number is at least even, 50/50, or nearly so. But it's thoroughly established that men tend to get caught more frequently, which heavily skews the stats.

Even as a satire, this story completely failed.

"Like many black men, Marcus recovers quickly" that statement alone says everything about this story. Cliches where you read.

But what amazes me most is that an author doesn't understand the liberating effect a BTB story can have on a reader without forcing them to actually use violence!

None of the serious authors want to deny that our judicial system, with the exception of a few states, usually decides in favor of the wife and mother, regardless of who is actually responsible for the divorce.

This means that the husband, if he really does his duty and is a good partner and father, has to accept if his wife cheats on him, or he will pay a lot of his income for the wife for the next few years! This can not be right. If the husband is the guilty party, then it is only fair if he pays.

So how do you deal with the situation as a suffering husband? Violence against the woman and her lover? This will only land him in prison. So what then? A therapist costs tons of money. It is more than helpful if he can read stories about how "guilty" wives and their lovers have to pay for the injustice they have done. And all without real violence! And if it helps him, that's great, right?

I take issue with "Google" results on the percentage of women that cheat.

Straight up, here are my numbers.

I'm 62 and prior to being rid of the last one, have only been with 8 women (Escorts aren't relationships and dont count IMO). Of those eight women, all were long term relationships. Of those 8... 2 were formerly titled Mrs.

Of those eight ... ALL slipped in and out of the shits with others, multiple times.

In short 100% of women cheat. Even my two

daughters are cheats.

I've taken up fishing... Escorts are "dated" often enough.

I read the cheating wives stories trying to figure out what drives females to do what they do. They will date, marry a loving good provider and protector... only to risk everything to fuck around.

Us men are not innocent, we pay the price not matter which partner cheats.

Stupid, no wonder the score reflects so low,.

I liked the humorous parody presentation of BTB. It was over the top and refreshing.

Where is the Dam Ending? You guys can flow on for page after Page then get to the last part and seem just to drop dead for the ending Come Let go your tool and finish the story Pervs!

Frankly, my dear, this one missed the bus completely..... this time.

Stick to what you do best, please.

Hi my BTB Besties! How y'all doing? Haven't seen any new comments in the last few hours;you done for the weekend?

A few of you have asked/suggested/(insisted?) that I "quit while I'm behind" and depart the BTB sub-genre and the Loving Wives category. I ask your indulgence because I'm planning on at least one more story here. The next one? It will be a straight-up, un-ironic BTB story with a sympathic male protagonist who's been badly wronged by his unfaithful wife and must decide how to obtain justice. And it will be realistic, well-written, and better than most of what you read here. YES, that's right: I'm going to beat you at your own game 😂

Ta ta 💋

You're asking us to believe that a true-blue 110% heterosexual American he-man hero like Buzz would hold a leftist-commie-pinko-limpwristed gun like the AK-47?? No way! How about an M1 Garand? Or at least a Winchester lever-action? Just kidding. I very much enjoyed the satiric Epilogue and also the satiric early sections of the story.

.

Maybe the middle, with Marcus, was less successful, to my mind. To some extent this section looks like satire of the BBC / cheating-wife's-Black-lover clichés ... but to a larger extent it seems to be replicating the clichés. I feel that it would have been even more fun had you made Marcus, say, a sensitive intellectual with a penis slightly smaller than average (but much better in bed than Hubby). Blemishes notwithstanding, the story still rates 5*, I think.

I laughed, I cried, I got burnt, 10/10

Kind of over to top with the hit team. Besides a true Republican would have used an AR 15, not an AK 47. But even the fact that they want to blow up most of the building doesn't make since. When a simple remote controled gas leak in Marcus's Apartment would have worked better. But I don't feel killing them is good enough, not enough Suffering for the both of them. So they shouldn't have planned on blowing them up, just burning of them both, in a controlled gas leak, so they both could Suffer with 90% burns to their bodies the rest of their Painful lifes! And husband could watch then Suffer!!

I liked the {"You've handled an AK before, right?" "Of course," Mike said indignantly. "I'm a Republican."}

LOL! True to life, indeed; especially on the whole firearms side of things.

You either have to be within some area of law-enforcement, a weapons enthusiast, or military; or flat out be a maniac or a Republican to wield firearms like an AK47.

Play more baseball, all of you. It's safer and more entertaining!

This has to be the dumbest story I’ve read on this site. Just trash.

Have you ever met the “ men” who make up Maga’s army? With the exception of some Neo Nazi’s and proud boys, most are late middle aged, and fat. A workout for them is getting out of their car to order, when the McDonalds drive thru is full. Only one more double quarter pounder value meal away, from a coronary heart attack. They are an army of Walter Mitty’s.

4 stars.

Husband voted for Trump? That alone makes him a full blown idiot.

This belongs in satire.

Oh, this is good. Kudos, Jazzy. The story was highly enjoyable without the epilogue, but like classic satire the epilogue is over-the-top. One possible flaw, and only one: the epilogue was written in complete sentences, with correct spelling and grammar, and by Anonymous. Really? It's hard to believe, but I guess it's possible. There's a lot of people, and it only takes a few outliers, right? Five stars from your newest fan. ~~JB Edwards

Sparkling prose but a poor choice of weapon for hubs. Please. We are all civilized here. An AK is a peasant's gun. Either an AR or an H&K. These letter choices are important.

More seriously, nicely done. 5*