All Comments on 'Busted, Almost'

Do not leave us hanging like this. We need the whole story.

It was just getting good, I think! Keep up the great story! =)

This story needs another chapter or two.

Very nice writing thank you .. There's so much bad very bad writing in here nowadays , this was a pleasant suprize and easy on the eyes . May we have some more please?

The idea is okay but it lacks background and character developmen. I would've had this as my basic outline to start and then moved on from there. This has the possibly of being a good series if that the way you want to do it. Whatever you do don't get the parents involved.

If you're going to add anybody add Janine and her brother, get them involved unless they're already doing each other. That way it will give both couples a protection cover from the parents.

great opener

Can't wait for the next installment

I wish it had been a little longer. Make sure mom and dad get in on the fun.

Hey, thanks everyone, I really appreciate y'all's comments!!! My stories are intended to be different from the mainstream.

So many stories have the same format and a lot of them have the same text, an example of something common is, "I guess I should tell you about us now. My sister is ...", or, "When we were growing we were very close ...", and I don't want to do that. I am trying to have the story, not a narrative, describe anything you should know.

In this one I wanted to get away from what someone called a "novel" like I did with the End of Highschool. (And, btw, there will be a conclusion to it. I guess after 4-5 years there should be.) I hadn't planned to write anything else to this one but after looking at it again, and seeing that it was only 1 page, well, I'll see what I can do with them.

As to whether or not the parents get involved you can't influence me. I have my own ideas about that. I will say, and I think a couple of you have figured this out, the parents are generally dysfunctional, ineffective, and don't know how to address "sex", and the kids, not having been taught otherwise, go with what they like.

Anyway, thanks for writing. And you who haven't signed up, DO IT!!! It's not difficult, I think you can all figure it out. We writers really value your comments more if you aren't too lazy to get an ID. Really!

needed a lot more background and character development you just jumped right into the action which is a sloppy way to write. this should have been chapter two of three or four not a stand alone. DO NOT get anyone else involved it will only prove there is no love between them. if you really love some one you never need or want any one else ever if you do it was never love.

Neat, the way Brenda and Mark acted matter or fact about what they were doing when the 'rents walked in. Faked them out completely. And if his dick had been in her then, "Oh.., yeah, mom, just tickling each other and it slipped in. 'Feels kinda good. No big deal." Love it!!!

they need to get caught in the act, and she needs to get pregnant. Fisting/strapon and anal

would be good for a 4some.

Nice combination of almost innocent, incestuous curiosity and answering to Janine's virtual daring....I agree that the sibs need to get caught naked, and then maybe they could ask their parents "HOW" to do it....as well I am sure if Janine watched them play and fondle and dry hump with their parents IN the same room, she would be eager to join in.....SO many possibilities!! LOL

I liked the fact that there was a long, intimate, and respectful relationship long before the fooling around. Also Bren doesn't seem to be jealous of Mark and Janine hooking up. It makes me wonder how Bren and Mark's relationship evolves after making love.

However, some things in the story bugged me.

First, I'm shocked porn is seen as the sexual norm- does real sex for teens has to conform to porn for it to be good? IMO porn's about getting off, not a good relationship model.

Second, as hot as I find inbreeding to be in the abstract, Bren is infuriatingly stupid to be bare-backing first time and giggling -whatever she'll have to go on the Pill .

Who taught this kid sex ed?

Sure, the chances for pregnancy for unprotected intercourse aren't 100% even if she's ovulating, but shit, taking the Pill takes weeks to be effective.

Most importantly, does she get that it only takes once and she very well could be pregnant due to an impulsive hump?

FWIW it's a well-written scene- teenagers are famous for being impulsive idiots considering the long-term picture. Actions have consequences? ZOMG! Who knew?

Still, it makes my head hurt to see people of any age do that shit IRL and in fiction.

Anyhow, nice quickie and I'm eager to see what you have for us and them in the next chapter!

Unlike the one Anonymous who didn't like the opening, I thought it was fantastic. Most of the stories on here begin basically with anatomical descriptions of the perps. You begin "in medias res" and grab our attention immediately, one of the marks of an excellent writer. I agree that the kids were incredibly stupid to bareback without the pill, but they're not the first teenagers to act stupidly. You've got our curiosity aroused now---What happened next?

but a bit unrealistic in parts IE mom/dad come home catch them cuddling and belive the crap story.

You could/should of told it from when janine and her brother came over

maybe next chapter

It's fine for what it is, a quick flip.

Good but more detail about them. Nothing about tit size, pussy or cock. And maybe get mom involved.

Too many writes like to have the parents join in. "Oh boy. Incest. Lets join in!" I like the idea of a story where the parents discover the incest, and just have to deal with it. I am also excited that you will finish the End of High School story. I have been wondering if you would come back to finish that one.

I thought your tale was rather enjoyable but couldn't help but think that the title suits the story in that they are caught.

Awesome! I love your stories. Very sexy and nicely told. It's been too long a wait from your last two excellent stories. You're my favourite. Please write more.

You really got my imagination leaping to conclusions. So good to have a story with just enough meat to make me think. Whatever you do SusieJ, do it your way.

Now to read your previous stuff.

I fucked my sister, it was so good she's will fuck anyone! Kik her at Dani_Fisher

It's off to a good start. I'd love to see this story continue.

Please make another this story got me really hot if love to see how they gradually get to making out while their parents can see

Did they get 2 make out in front of mom and dad also did mom dad get some

Great Story again, I just finished Beads. This is just as good.

Love the style of constant sex, bare nipples, you're character is so cunty.

I'm going to read all your stories

Ours is a very small house, only one bedroom, two cots,my dad and mom sleeps on one cot, my elder sister and me sleeps on another cot. one night my sister and me saw my dad and mom fully naked and dad on top of my mom he inserted his cock into my mom's pussy. mom was so happy, she kissed dad and raised her butt to meet my dad's thrust. It was strange to my sister and to me. we are really in confusion why dad inserted his cock into my mom's pussy! and why mom was so happy? at the same time I had erection my cock was very hard. I also noticed my sister put her hand on her pussy, and wildly rubbed it. I helped her by rubbing her pussy gently, she was on heaven. next day mom and dad went to work they will return evening only, my sister and me undressed and kissed as mom did, sister saw my erected cock for first time, she kissed my cock and I licked sister's pussy, she opened her pussy and I inserted my cock into her pussy as dad did to mom. this is our first fuck. from that day we enjoyed fucking whenever our parents not in house. one day dad was out of station, my mom caught us naked and fucking. mom was shock and in tears. we beg pardon and told her that we did it because of we saw you and dad fucking every night. mom did not tell a single word, that night mom told we all could sleep on her bed, suddenly mom made us naked and she also removed her nighty, we cuddled naked and mom licked sister's pussy, I tasted mom's pussy, she sucked my cock, sister tasted mom's pussy. mom allowed me to fuck sister and mom spread her pussy to me. what a wonderful day!!

OK read...

A bit fragmented but OK...

3 stars