Butter Pecan

"Get a room, guys. Oh wait, that's how that happened." I nodded to the baby bump.

Sue giggled and just said "Yep!"

As we finished our treats, Bobby finally brought it up.

"Hank, you need to take an actual de-stress vacation. You've been moping around for months now, and we all want Hank back. It's time, Hank. Find some hot thing, scoot over to I-65, and just start south. When you get to Mobile, turn right to New Orleans or left for Tampa. Either way, go. You have the money, and your boss isn't going to fire you; he knows as well as the rest of us that you need to get out for a month or so."

"What about the kid?"

"Well, we have these things called cell phones and we also have calendars. I said a month or two, not four. You can take two months and still be back in time to help me finish painting the room."

"'l'll think about it."

And after I left that night, I did. I thought about it a lot.

The Barracuda had never been further than Indianapolis from Shelbyville. It still had less than four thousand miles, but it was still a car that deserved to be driven. And Bobbie was right. I needed to get laid, I needed to get my head on right. So I made the arrangements at work, and arranged to meet Bobbie at the DQ; I was going to tell him there that I was leaving.

I didn't know where the road would take me, but I was going to be leaving. I packed light, with only a small overnight bag. It would be enough, because I intended to allow the wind to take me where it would.

So imagine my surprise when, while Bobbie and I were sitting at the table, Sue and Marie pulled up. They were friends; they had been since I started dating Marie. I should have known that one of the few people who would be there for Marie would be Sue. Marie had been with me when I'd introduced Bobbie and Sue on that first date, five months later.

She looked good. And my heart fluttered a bit; must have been some peanut dust or something. She was wearing a short dress, a little short for the early fall weather, pale green, with a white belt around her waist, and a pair of her old sneakers. She looked good, and casual, but I could see the haunted look in her eyes, even then.

"So, I hear you're going to hit the road for a bit, take in the sights down south somewhere for a couple months." she said. No hello, just a brave effort. I looked at Bobbie, who was casting a 'you got some 'splaining to do' look at Sue, and then I looked at Sue, who was trying hard to make a 'oh, my back, my feet, they hurt so much because I'm pregnant' look back at Bobbie.

"Yeah, I guess. It's just... I need to get my head on straight, find what matters, you know? I won't be gone forever, just a month or so. Gonna take the 'Cuda." and I pointed to it sitting in the lot, drawing the attention of the other patrons, "and open it up a bit. I'm calling it 'Butter Pecan', now, by the way."

"Butter Pecan? Why... you know what, never mind. 'Butter Pecan', eh? Ok." Marie remarked. The silence from Bobbie and Sue was turning into a roar. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Hank. I hope you find it and make your heart whole again."

"Thank you for that, Marie."

"I just wish I could be the one you find it with, again. I know that's not going to happen, but I wish it were true."

"Hmm" I didn't know what to say. I finished up my ice cream, hugged Bobbie and Sue, and then slowly walked over to the car. Marie followed me part way from the table, with a look of regret on her face.

I got in the car and started it up, hearing the throaty roar of the big V8. I got back out of the car, and walked around to put the top down, which would allow the wind to blow through my hair, and allow me to truly enjoy what the car had to offer as an experience. As I got in the car again, I looked up and realized Marie was still standing there, watching me, with tears on her cheeks, but still trying to put on a brave, strong front. I glanced over to the table, where Bobbie was staring at me while rubbing Sue's bulging belly, and then turned back towards Marie.

I looked at her and realized that even though we were divorced, even though she wasn't the most beautiful woman in the world, and even though she'd cheated on me, I loved her. She was a whore. She was my blushing bride. She was a sinner. She was a saint. She was a slut. She was my slut. She was my pain. She was my joy.

They say, in the end, you have to ask yourself whether or not you're better with her or without her. I knew I could make it without her. I knew it. Bobbie had given me that knowledge, all the way back on that fishing trip months earlier. But It wasn't about whether I could make it without her, it was that I didn't want to make it without her. We probably won't ever be married again, but I knew that I still wanted her.

I reached over and unlocked the passenger door to the car and looked at her. The look on her face, so sorrowful and sad, morphed just like that. I saw regret morph to hope, I saw regret morph to joy, and I saw hurt morph to love. And I saw lust. A lot of lust.

So there I was, ten minutes later, driving the Barracuda that would forever after be known as 'Butter Pecan' towards I-65, with Marie giving me a hummer. I felt the first light rain drops spatter on my chest just as the scent of Marie's hair hit my nose. I normally treat a blow job as a very serious thing, Marie certainly was treating it with all due concern, but I couldn't help laughing. Somehow, that dream from months before had almost come true. The only thing missing was Assholes balls hanging from the rear view mirror.

Maybe someday.