By Voice and By Candle

"How was the reunion?"

Kat shrugged. She was having lunch with Kimmy, her secretary. "Fun. You know, seeing everyone again, catching up. Meg wanted it all to be exactly like when we were still at uni. She made us drink that awful cinnamon booze and hold a séance."

She suppressed a shudder as she spoke the words, but Kimmy didn't seem to notice. "Then we all remembered that we're adults, so we switched to wine and spent the rest of the evening gossiping."

That hadn't been all, though, but Kat didn't want to think about it. They finished their lunch and Kat went back to work, trying hard to concentrate. Still, the memory crept back in. She even found herself buttoning up her blouse, which she couldn't remember doing in years.

The reunion had been that Saturday, with a group of friends from uni. It was at a big old house in the country, one of those places that oozed character and history and could be booked by anyone with party plans and deep pockets.

It was great to see the old gang. Of course they'd met up down the years, but never all together and lately it had been less and less frequent. Grown-up lives and commitments like jobs, partners and even kids meant less time -- and inclination -- to hang out with friends from a previous life.

The cinnamon liquor was as awful as they remembered, but they laughed and bravely sipped at their glasses. The séance brought back memories too. Kat had always been uneasy whenever one of the girls -- usually Meg -- suggested doing one. It was all in fun, of course, a bit of mystery and excitement.

But sometimes Kat had felt as if she could sense something. A presence, or a shadow of one, or an echo of a shadow of one. She always told herself it was just her imagination, though, and laughed and shrieked just as loudly as her friends when a candle guttered or that time when a cat jumped onto the roof over their heads.

During the years since uni she'd carefully avoided anything remotely resembling the occult. It was all nonsense, she announced if someone suggested a card-reading or a visit to a fortune teller. A waste of time, a rip-off if they charged you money. Something for kids and the gullible.

She'd said it so often that she'd come to believe it. So when Meg suggested the séance on Saturday, she'd forgotten about her old uneasiness and agreed to do it for old times' sake.

They'd sat in a circle around a candle. The room in this old house added a note of eeriness that hadn't been there when they'd tried it before, in their student digs. The light from the candle didn't even reach the panelled ceiling, never mind the corners of the room, and the dark seemed to press in around them. Kat had shivered then, and she shivered now just remembering.

The others were their usual giggly selves, just like back when, but they seemed to feel it too. There was an edge to their laughter and jokes. Meg lit the candle and the seven of them held hands. Kat had Laura on her right and Rosa on her left. She reminded herself how silly it all was, that there were no such things as spirits and ghosts.

Meg began the old incantation. "By voice and by candle!"

"By voice and by candle!" the rest repeated.

"By voice and by candle," Meg said again, "I summon you to our circle. Spirit, show yourself!"

Rosa's hand trembled slightly, and Kat gave it a comforting squeeze. Rosa squeezed back, and they all chanted together, "By voice and by candle!"

Just then the candle flickered. A chill swept down Kat's spine, and she found herself clutching Rosa's hand tightly, and Laura's just as hard.

For a moment everything was silent, then someone breathed out loudly, and Meg gave an involuntary laugh, and then they were all giggling and talking. Rosa was the first to rise, and she switched on the light as Kat blew out the candle.

They all had another swig of the liquor and expressed their disgust, and then they switched to wine and the evening devolved into the usual talking, drinking and laughing.

A sense of foreboding had nestled in the back of Kat's head, but she ignored it. With the bright electric lights on, and half a dozen loud and tipsy friends around her, it was easy to push the uneasiness aside.

By the time she made her way to her room for the night she'd forgotten all about it. She undressed, and force of habit fought against wine-fuelled laziness as she tossed her clothes on the chair.

She unclasped her bra and stepped out of her panties and dropped them both onto the pile. She had a large T-shirt to sleep in, but the night was warm and the bedding was a lovely soft satin.

As she stepped naked towards the bed -- a large four-poster affair facing the curtains that covered the wide window -- she had a sensation as if eyes were on her.

It was a sensation that she usually enjoyed. She liked to show a bit of cleavage or flash her legs at some unsuspecting man. Once, she'd lived without curtains for a month, and half a dozen flats across the street got a show every morning and night.

Now, though, she was alone. No-one was here to see her -- unless there was one of those hidden cameras, she thought suddenly. Recalling a trick she'd read about using her phone she gave the room a thorough once-over.

She didn't bother to put on her T-shirt. Either there was no camera, so no-one to see. Or there was a camera, and... The idea was exciting. She had no desire to wind up naked all over the internet, but if she found something she'd kick up a fuss. Just mentioning her lawyerly credentials would probably send the culprit running to delete any files.

In the end there hadn't been any cameras. None that she'd found, at least. Still, she couldn't shake the sense of being watched. Perhaps, she thought, it was because of holding Rosa's hand earlier, and remembering the first time she'd deliberately let someone peep...

She'd been visiting the student digs that Rosa shared with her brother. Rosa confided that Don sometimes watched her through a crack in the panelling -- if Rosa left it uncovered. Kat had discovered that the thought turned her on, and a bit of wine and a lot of giggling later they'd found themselves on Rosa's bed, snogging and feeling each other up until a bang on the wall broke the spell and they'd collapsed into laughter.

That experience had triggered something inside Kat, and she could get hotter from the idea of being watched than from anything else. So now, whether it was her imagination or someone peeping at her through a physical hole, she decided to enjoy the feeling. Taking a small bottle from her toilet bag, she sat down on the high bed and began to rub lavender-scented oil onto her arms.

Even as the lavender combined with the wine to relax her, the oil made her skin tingle and come alive. As she spread more and more of it over her body, it fanned the awakening thrill into real sexual excitement. So what if no-one was watching? It felt like there was.

She rose to stand in front of the tall mirror. Her skin was glistening in the low light. Running her hands over her body, she enjoyed the sensation of her own touch. Her breasts were firm in her hands, the nipples swelling and growing sensitive. She squeezed them gently, then tugged. The feeling went straight down and nestled between her legs.

She followed the sensation down with her fingers, tracing the curve of her stomach and brushing lightly through the short soft hairs below.

Her fingers avoided her clit, and instead slid along her lips. She was already aroused, she felt, and the trace of oil on her fingers combined with her own cream. Adding her other hand, she pulled back her lips and admired her exposed clit. It was swollen and shiny, and when she flicked at it her body shivered.

Suddenly a yawn tugged at her mouth. Wine, lavender and whatever o'clock it was. Much as she'd have loved to take her time for an agonisingly slow build-up, she knew she shouldn't.

So she rubbed along her slit, letting her fingers probe at her entrance. Then back up to her button to make circles over it. Her climax wasn't far away, and she no longer felt any desire to postpone it. Hard and fast, that was what her body wanted.

She reached behind her with one hand and felt at her crack. With the oil on her skin, her finger made a smooth journey down until it found her hole. A gentle flick wakened the nerves there, and a few more had her gasping in anticipation.

She continued to press gently against her hole while she rubbed at her clit. A tightening in her stomach told her that her orgasm was on its way, and she rubbed faster and faster. The pressure built up, slowly at first and then like a great flood.

She held it back, letting it build and build and build, feeling the fire spread through her body and make her moan. Then, just as it was about to break free, she pressed her finger into her arse and pushed herself over the edge.

Purple lights flashed behind her eyes and she felt her knees tremble. Shudders racked her body, forcing gasps from her as one explosion after another ran through her.

At last she came down, gasping and trembling. On wobbly legs she made her way to the bed and threw herself on it. It had been a long time since she'd had an orgasm like that.

When she'd recovered a little, she settled herself under the blanket and flicked the light switch. The room plunged into darkness, leaving her alone with the scent of lavender, and her eyes fell shut almost immediately.

Just as she was slipping away into sleep, a voice tickled at the edge of her hearing. By voice and by candle, it seemed to whisper. I'm watching you.

===

Kat had only slept fitfully after that, despite the late hour, despite the wine, and despite the mind-blowing, bone-shaking, heart-stopping orgasm she'd had. The sense of being watched was gone now, but the words she thought she'd heard made her shiver again and again. When exhaustion claimed her at last, she dreamt of being chased, and then chasing something in return.

The next morning none of the other girls seemed to have slept poorly, so Kat decided not to say anything. For years she'd cultivated a pragmatic image with a disdain of anything "weird", and she didn't fancy the teasing her friends would inflict on her if she mentioned a "strange feeling" or a "mysterious whispering voice".

So she masked her uneasiness and threw herself into the day's spa treatments and gossip. It was late in the afternoon when they checked out. The women parted ways, promising to do it all again soon, very soon, and Kat was back home in time for dinner.

Feeling very unsexy, she drew the curtains shut, ate her meal and spent the evening working. When it was bedtime, she felt no eyes on her, heard no voice whispering in her ear. Much relieved, she climbed into her own bed and slept.

Even so, just mentioning the séance to Kimmy brought back memories. It felt so real! she thought to herself as she closed her laptop and prepared to leave the office. It wasn't just the weekend's memories, but memories from long ago too. All those other séances that Meg had insisted on, all those other strange feelings.

The business of picking up shopping, getting home, cooking and eating pushed this discomfort to the back of her mind. She watched some telly while she ate, then did a bit of work. By the time she was ready to go to bed she'd managed to put it all out of her mind.

She even left the bathroom curtain open while she undressed and prepared the shower. The couple across the street liked to watch her; she would pretend to ignore their silhouettes behind the curtain, the frenzied jerking motions. She never watched them, but it was exhilarating to know that they were getting off watching her.

Standing naked under the stream of water, she knew their eyes were on her. It was a familiar sensation, and an enjoyable one, and knowing who it was finally put to rest the ghost of her earlier uneasiness. She washed herself, running her hands over her body, turning this way and that to emphasise her breasts for the benefit of the watching eyes. She took her time gently washing between her legs, without actually playing with herself. She'd rather let the tension build a few days.

As she dried off and pulled the oversized T-shirt over her head, she glanced out of the window. Across the street the curtain was moving back and forth. He was behind her, to judge by the silhouette, and she was upright and reaching behind her over her head with his hands on her breasts. Kat smiled to herself and turned off the bathroom light.

Still tired from her weekend, she didn't read in bed. As soon as she'd rubbed her arms and legs with lavender oil, she turned off the light. Almost as soon as her head hit the pillow she was asleep, dropping into a deep blackness that enveloped her and dragged her down.

In her dream, a pair of red eyes were staring at her. Around them there was nothing -- no blackness, no light, nothing. Just the unblinking red eyes. By voice and by candle, Kat heard, I'm watching you.

She came awake with a gasp. It's back, it's watching me! Her breath was ragged, her skin was clammy. Blinking quickly, she looked around the dark room. A hint of light crept around the edges of the heavy curtains. The scent of lavender hung in the air. Her phone told her it was a few minutes past midnight.

Trying to steady her breathing, she lay back and pulled the blanket over her. Just a dream, she told herself, just a bad dream.

But as she closed her eyes again the same feeling crept over her. She was being watched, she was certain. Sitting up in her bed, she flicked on the light and said loudly, "Who's there?"

The room was as empty as it was supposed to be. Nothing but Kat, her bed, the other furniture. The clothes she'd put out for the next day hanging neatly on the dressboy. The rack with those leafy plants whose name she could never remember but that were supposed to be good for the air quality. Her e-reader on her bedside table, with her reading glasses next to it.

And the sense of someone there with her. Someone, or something.

"Who is it?" she said again, trying to keep her voice steady. "Show yourself!"

Nothing moved. Her heart was pounding. Am I imagining it? Have I become so obsessed with being watched that I'm tricking myself?

She had almost convinced herself when the voice came again.

By voice and by candle. I'm watching you.

Kat gave a cry and pulled the blanket up to cover her face. Only her eyes peeped out. "Who are you?" she whispered.

You summoned me, the voice replied. By voice and by candle you summoned me. Show me.

"Show you what?" she whimpered, but she knew. She knew what the voice wanted, what these sensed-but-unseen eyes wanted.

Show me, the voice repeated insistently. Show me!

Kat felt a weight press against her, pushing her down into the pillow and the mattress. She gave a strangled gasp and tried to struggle up, but she was just forced down further.

Show me!

"Alright!" she choked. "I can't breathe. Let me go and I'll show you."

The pressure lifted, and she sucked in lungfuls of air.

Show me! the voice insisted again.

With shaking fingers Kat pulled the blanket down until it was around her legs, then she kicked it off. Her T-shirt was already bunched up around her waist, exposing her thighs and what was between them.

Show me... the voice crooned.

"Oh, so now you want to be nice?" Kat demanded. "One glimpse of pussy and you're sweetness itself?"

The voice didn't answer, but the sense of being watched became more intense.

"Very well," Kat said. "You've seen it before, so I don't know what the big deal is." She pulled her T-shirt up above her waist and spread her legs. "There, happy now?"

She could feel the unseen gaze almost like a physical presence. She gave a loud sigh and lay back. "Is this what you wanted?"

Show me! the voice whispered again. Was it her imagination, or did it sound hoarse? Show me...

Realising what this phantom presence wanted, Kat reached down with one hand. Her hand stroked along her lips to her entrance. It was slick with cream, and she became aware of her own arousal. When did that happen? she wondered, but she already knew. As soon as I realised that it wanted to see me naked. That it was demanding to see me naked!

Her fingers slid up and down between her lips, flicking at her button and rubbing it in circles, then slipping down again to her entrance and probing inside.

Show me... the voice repeated. It sounded breathless. Show me, show me!

The heat of its gaze was like hot breath between her legs. Kat's free hand came up to squeeze at her boob, pushing the T-shirt up further to reveal the nipple. She bent her head forward and flicked it with her tongue. "Like this?" she breathed.

The voice didn't quite moan, but there was a sense of pleasure. Kat continued to rub and squeeze, feeling the excitement build up. "Can you see?" she gasped. "Do you like it? I'm about to cum, can you tell?"

She buried two fingers inside herself. She was so wet that they squelched. Her clit was pressing hard against the ball of her hand. "Here it comes," she whispered. "Here it... oooh... I-- I'm..."

She grunted, then gave a voiceless cry as her orgasm ripped through her. Her eyes squeezed shut, she felt her legs spasm as the relief swept out of her.

Panting, she lay on the bed, eyes still closed. Her hands were trembling, she realised.

"Happy?" she asked. "Now fuck off and let me sleep."

After long moments she opened her eyes. The voice was silent. The presence was gone. All that remained was a lingering hint of lavender in the air.

Pulling the T-shirt over her head, she wiped her sticky fingers on it and tossed it onto the floor by the bed. Her head touched the pillow again and she slept.

===

Sitting in the train to work the following morning Kat felt strange. Ashamed, a little. She liked being watched, got off on it, but there was always a distance between her and the eyes. It was anonymous mostly, and there was at least the pretence of not knowing. Most of all, she was in control. She decided what to show, and when.

Yesterday's encounter with that unseen presence -- it had to be a ghost, no matter how irrational the idea was -- with the ghost, it had been personal, up close. She'd been forced into putting herself on display. She'd felt vulnerable, helpless, and that made her angry.

But at the same time... Kat squirmed in her seat at the recollection. She'd been so hot for it! Lying there with her legs spread, that voice whispering in her ear, its invisible gaze hot on her body...

The man sitting opposite her gave her a glance and she leaned forward to expose a little more cleavage. He gave a start, and she felt his eyes fix on the bare flesh on display. He could probably see a hint of her lacy bra. Control, she thought. That's what it's all about.

The day dragged on. She had to be professional when what she wanted was to flash everyone who walked past. The journey home was interminable. By the time she reached her front door she was almost squirming.

She tossed aside her briefcase, kicked off her shoes and hung up her coat. Then she went straight to the bedroom, to her wardrobe, and took out a shoebox.

"Are you here?" she asked as she placed the box on her table and rummaged inside. "By voice and by candle...?"

I'm watching you, the ghost whispered in her ear. Its gaze caressed her like a lover's hands. The air filled with the scent of fresh lavender.

"Good," Kat said firmly. "Here's how it's going to be. You can watch. When I'm by myself, or if there's someone else. But I decide when, you understand?"