Bye, Felicia Ch. 01-04

It was the change of Facebook status and accompanying wedding photo, though, that triggered a phone call, from Felicia, of course, just after shaking hands with Rabbi Gould.

"You bastard! You fucking, two-timing, slimy piece of shit! You got MARRIED and didn't tell me in advance? You just presented me with a break-up before we could even have our date tonight, a full-on fait accomplis? A fact accomplished! See what I do next, you disgusting asshole! Wait until tonight!" Felicia spat out.

"Oh, so you still want that date tonight, even if I married another girl? Interesting. You're pissed at me, but it almost sounds as if you still want a relationship of some kind. You want revenge, but you're more upset that I might have broken it off with you completely. Am I right?" I asked as Pippa and I departed the synagogue, giving me more privacy.

"Damn you, Armie! Don't you get it? I'm in love with you! Sure, I'm fucking pissed off, but I'm very much in love with you! I know that I blew it, I know that I drove you into the arms of another woman by my actions, just as Mom did to Dad, but I very much love you still! Look, I get that I'm a bossy bitch. I do. I get that I now have to share you with that...girl that you met somewhere today. I understand that. You married her, you got her, and now I have to deal with her. I have to share you with her.

"But I want my due! In case you forgot, Mr. Smarty Pants, I'm still your fucking girlfriend and I want my fair share of your dick! Why do you think that you jerking off bugged me so much! It's different for girls. We can jill off and still be up for sex...even more so than before. I just handled it very badly and I'm super sorry for that," Felicia wept on the phone.

"So, which is it? Are we broken up, like you first said, or do you wish to remain my girlfriend, even though I'm married now?" I inquired with a wink at Pippa, who was giggling as we walked back to my Jeep.

"I...I'll be your mistress, honey. I'll take my lumps and my punishment for being a bitch, and be the best mistress that I can be for you. I swear to God! Yes, I'm still your girlfriend, if you honestly wish me to be," Felicia choked back more tears now, "You never were going to go for monogamy, were you?"

"Nope. Never. Got that one nailed down for sure," I agreed.

"That explains a helluva lot, then. The evasion of the subject of marriage and such. I gather that your...wife is the cool type, okay with other women for you?" Felicia asked me now.

"Yep, that's part of the marital package with anyone for me. I avoided marriage with you because you were too controlling and likely to try to make me a milquetoast like your old man, not to mention that you'd be expecting fidelity out of me, even if you were fucking half the town. Well, now, you can screw around and so can I...and yes, so can Pippa. I'm no hypocrite. Think of it as a V, if you will. An open V, that is. They happen all the time in polyamorous circles," I assured her, not entirely certain that I still wanted to do the sting.

"Well, Mom encouraged ideas, but I...I wasn't sure if I could go through with that part. I did have plans for a wife-led marriage, though, whether cuckold or not. Obviously, those were dashed and I have Mom to thank for me not getting to be your wife at all. She's destroyed our marriage before it could even happen and her own for good measure. She could do this as a career, she's so good at wrecking marriages. I admit that part of me still wants to be a dominant wife, though. Say, you wouldn't know of any wimpy guys who might let me cuckold them with you, do you?" Felicia shocked me with her latest request.

"Um, Felicia, I'm just not into the cuckolding scene, either as a cuck or as a Bull. It just does nothing for me. If you want Bulls for a future cuckold or wittol hubby, have at it, but don't ask me to participate. I'm really not into it. However, if you want me to locate a cuck, I might be able to do that, at least. Just understand that even that kind of man has limits, has a certain need for dignity. He might well be very submissive on his sexual side, as part of his kinks and fantasies, but even he will want some respect from you.

"Your father might very well have been into it at first, but if you've paid attention, he drew the line somewhere. I'm not sure where it was, but he did. He's probably burned-out on the cuckoldry, too, by now, or has a tamer version of it with Darlene.

"I don't mind fucking a married woman if her husband is cool with it, but I refuse to do any of the classic Bull stuff. Belittling the man. Demanding that you belittle him. Insisting on chastity or cutting him off entirely. Demanding that he clean you up afterward. Making him use rubbers while I go bareback with you. Making him fluff for me. Making him watch. That sort of thing.

"Anyway, we can continue this conversation on our date, if you still want one, but I must warn you that Pippa is going to be present. She's my wife now and at least this once, I think that the two of you should meet in person. Wife and girlfriend at the same time. Don't worry, I'll pay for both of your dinners and mine. How's that for an interesting date, eh? Anyway, see you tonight at 7 pm. And don't be late or stand me up," I insisted.

"Looking forward to it. And don't worry. Despite my earlier threat, I'll be good. I swear it. I'll look nice and happy and pretty for you, dear," my girlfriend assured me, as she hung up and I revved up the Jeep to drive back home for now.

I had a marriage to consummate, after all.