- Incest/Taboo
- Cabin Fever
- Page 4
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Once more Kirsten arched up as another orgasm shook her. This was a totally new experience. His urine was hot, but it was a chill it sent up her spine. She figured it was the uniqueness of the event that excited her like it did. She did not know if the next time Todd filled her up she would have the same reaction since it would no longer be new, but she looked forward to finding out.
"Damn, you are one hell of a fuck," Todd said to her.
"You know, it will be at least two days, more likely three before the river might allow us to cross it to return to the civilized world," Kirsten said. "How many times and how many different ways do you think you can screw me before then?"
"Don't have a clue, but let's go for a lot."
Todd lifted Kirsten from the floor and took her back to his bed. They would try and reach a number that would be a challenge to beat.
- COMMENTS
Oseeker2 months agoEnjoyed reading until it all went south with the flashlight examination...
No real affection....just getting to the goodies. I didn't finish the story
2 stars
Anonymousabout 3 years agoTake the bs out and put more detail in where needed. You said she loved him, but they talked like friends instead of lovers ie, more detail.
Anonymousabout 4 years agoWhy would anyone want an asshole when there is a pussy right there??? I don't care for anal I'm not gay.
Anonymousover 5 years agoWhat ever happened to having a bit of mystery. Barely a quarter of the first page and the girl is already giving away what her intentions are to the reader. It's fucking annoying that writers here don't seem to understand the meaning of subtly.
Anonymousalmost 6 years agoNOBODY has a conversation like this, "They are on their way, but their plane will not arrive until tonight. They suggested I head on up instead of waiting for them. They will rent a car as soon as they land, but if what the weather people say is right, it will be pouring by that time. When I drove across the last bridge to get here, water was already starting to trickle over it. If there is any rain at all it will flood out and keep them on one side of the river and us on the other." And siblings would *never* talk to each other like that.
Halfway down page one, you suddenly jump from third person to first person.
Other issues have already been pointed out by fellow readers. You should sit yourself down and take note of what people are saying before you submit again. (And maybe enroll in a writing course)
Anonymousalmost 6 years agoI would bet your dick is as short as your tolerance . Get real friend If it were not for mistakes pencils would have no need for erasers.
RockyStonealmost 6 years agoYou lost me with the M/s or D/s on page three and the Switch was odd. A Dom would pick up on the sister's desire when she asked for belts. Todd didn't have a history of being the top in the story. An awkward situation of the bottom telling the top what to do would be a buzz kill. The part where the girl attacks Todd really didn't fit in. Talking and listening to a pussy doesn't fit in well with two people that want to fuck. It's been some years in the making, so things should be hot. I wasn't able to get into the story.
RS
Anonymousalmost 6 years agoInteresting story. The setup wasn't exactly unique, and it could use a bit of polish, but not bad.
