Caffeinated Quickies 01: Honeyed Housewife

Caffeinated Quickies: Honeyed Housewife.

A Bimbo Bakery short story.

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"Michael Cummings?" The pimply gas-station attendant smirked, looking up from Mike's credit card. "Dude, has anyone ever told you that you have a porn name?"

"Tell that to my Uncle Richard." He quipped back, like Mike always did when some wiseacre decided his surname was worth mentioning.

The smart-asses in question were all, invariably, immature young folks of the male persuasion.

"Dick Cummings?!" The crater-faced lout hooted as he handed Mike back his card and receipt, "For reals, man? That's a total trip."

"He's a real hit with the ladies, I can tell you that much." Mike grinned and shot the kid a wink before scooping his purchases and turning back towards his car. "I'll tell him you said hello."

"Dick Cummings!"

The howl of laughter followed Mike out the automatic doors and he grinned. Being born a proud Cummings, he was more than accustomed to the jokes by this stage in his life and Mike was in too much of a good mood to let it bother him at all.

Today was a good day... no, scratch that. Today was a great day!

He carefully placed the bouquet of bright flowers and the bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon on the passenger seat before climbing behind the wheel and buckling in with a cheerful smile.

Sure, the good news he was about to deliver to his loving wife probably merited more than wilting gas-stop flowers and the local convenience store's finest vintage of vino but the real celebration could wait until the ink was dry on his new employment contract.

Because Mike was getting a promotion!

He had been called into the partners office just hours earlier and informed that, not only had he passed his accreditation to become a Certified Public Accountant, Mike was being "moved up" in the firm's organizational structure to become the youngest CPA employed at Bridges and Rutherford Accounting.

This was huge! A real game changer for him and his darling wife Stephanie. It meant a significant rise in pay, a new corner-adjacent office and nothing but a shining highway of prospects stretching out into his professional future.

Local boy makes good. It was like some kind of Cinderella story. Or whatever the guy version of that was... Cinder-fella story perhaps?

Whatever. Mike was flying home on the cloud nine express.

Wave goodbye to frozen dinners and microwave meals because it was champagne and caviar from here on out. Well, figuratively speaking at least, but a lot more hot chicken dinners were definitely in the cards. Mike was bursting at the seams with excitement and couldn't wait to see the look on Stephanie's face when he told her.

It would mean so much for her. It would mean she could quit that awful job for a start and that would bring some much needed joy into her life.

Mike had met Steph a few years back when they had both been attending New Billington University. He had been in the last year of finishing his business accounting degree and she was studying Library Science. It had been a Halloween mixer and when he had spotted the cute little redhead with the pixie-cut wearing a Tinkerbell costume, it had been love at first sight.

For him at least. He had come dressed as Barney Rubble and had to get past more than a few curious questions about why he had chosen Barney instead of Fred before he could really break the ice.

What... Barney had the hotter wife, right? Mike was Team Betty all the way.

One year later they were happily engaged and blissfully married six months after that, though Steph had decided to keep her maiden name "Page". No-one could blame her, Mike chortled to himself at the memory.

The decision to settle in New Billington hadn't been a hard one. Mike was raised in the small college town and Stephanie's family lived just over the state border to the north in Michigan. Mike was living the dream but while he had quickly secured a position at the accounting firm as a humble Public Accountant, Steph wasn't so lucky.

His wife was free, creative spirit at heart and Mike loved that about her but jobs for young librarians with no experience were all but non-existent in his hometown, college or no. So Steph had compromised and taken a job as a paralegal in the dusty law offices of Lockett Miller Solicitors down on Main Street and, though his beautiful bride always put on her best face everyday, Mike knew she wasn't happy there.

The dark bags under her eyes and the growing stoop to her slender shoulders spoke volumes that Steph would never speak aloud. It hurt Mike to see the woman he loved being ground down under the perpetual rat-race.

Steph deserved the chance to chase her dreams of being an artist. To read and write and paint to her heart's content. The garage of their little two bedroom cottage was her impromptu studio, a whirlwind of controlled chaos stocked with bustling bookshelves, paint-splattered workbenches and a second hand writing desk she had rescued from the footpath outside the girl's dorms.

She spent as much of her limited free time as she could in there and Mike was looking forward to informing her that she could soon be spending all day in her favorite space pursuing her true passions. That and maybe, just maybe, get started on the nursery at last.

Mike was going to hold off that discussion until later. The jury was still out on how soon Steph wanted to have kids. They both wanted to be in a more stable position before revisiting the topic, or so she kept telling him. But, if he were being honest, Mike wanted to see her pop out a few of his rugrats sooner rather than later.

Just the idea of seeing his wife's lithe slim body swell large with his heirs was a major turn-on for Mike. The merest thought of his seed planting a baby in her belly and watching that smooth tummy grow fat with his young had Mike's cock perking up in his slacks even as he turned down their sleepy suburban street.

She would have to consider it now, right? He finally had the means to support them both and make a real go at being the family man, like his father and grandfather before him. To be a man who cared for his wife and raised a loving family with a white picket fence and all the traditional trimmings.

Was it so wrong to want that?

Mike didn't think so. He considered himself quite progressive by any country town standard. He had been happy that Steph wanted to work, to earn her own wage and contribute to building their shared life. She was her own independent woman and Mike supported her life and career choices. There were no expectations placed on her in his mind, but if she was going to be happier working from home... that was just a silver lining.

Today was a great day... and only going to get better.

Parking out front of their modest abode, Mike bundled up his shopping and strode for the door. Stephanie would be home in an hour or so depending on her workload. That was just enough time for him to order up some vegetarian tortellini from that Italian joint downtown she loved, cue the soft romantic tunes and light some candles.

Oh, but the look on her face was going to be heartwarming when he told her-

Mike opened the front door and paused. The interior lights were on, warming the cozy living space and the sounds and smells of someone cooking wafted from the kitchen. It smelled good, like roasting red meat and herbed vegetables. Was Stephanie home early and cooking? Steph was amazing in a great many ways but the poor girl could burn a boiled egg.

"Hello... Steph sweetie. Is that you?"

"Darling! You're home at last, I missed you sooo~ much!"

A figure appeared in the kitchen doorway and what a figure it was. A stunning hourglass body poured into a pale pastel green shirtwaist dress that hugged her ample chest, cinched in at her waspish waist and draped snugly over her firm hip to reach her knees. Mike's rebellious eyes rolled down to the strangers' silky smooth sculpted calf muscles accentuated by smokey stockings and high high heels.

Wait... Darling?

"Steph... is that you?" His eyes searched the bombshells hauntingly familiar face and, yes, it was unmistakably his young wife. Except her lips were bee-stung plush and painted ruby red, the purple shadows under her eyes were gone and she was wearing long fake lashes, not to mention that wig...

"You're so funny, Husband. Of course it is me, were you expecting another woman?" She laughed and it sounded so carefree and infectious that Mike smiled back as she slid gracefully up to him and kissed him warmly on the lips.

"No, of course not- mmmff~!" Mike staggered back a step as Steph pressed herself against his front and immediately deepened the kiss. One of her delicate hands trailed up the back of his shirt to tickle the small hairs of his neck under long lacquered nails while the other slipped down to his butt.

She tasted of mint and honey as she pushed her hungry tongue into his mouth and tried to vacuum out his tonsils.

"Mmmwoah~ whoa, stop. Sweetie, please..." Mike broke the kiss and tried to back away but she remained fixed to him, rubbing her stunning face against his chest.

In those tall pumps, his otherwise diminutive young spouse was only a half a head shorter than him and that massive curly red hair-piece of hers tickled his nose. It was a glowing mess of crimson locks so thick and voluminous that made her look as though she had it up in curlers all day before brushing it out and piled it artfully atop her pretty head.

"I'm sorry, Darling. Of course you are right." She cooed in a soft little voice that Mike hadn't heard from her before. She was toying with his tie as she nuzzled at his neck, giving him goosebumps. "My Man has been working hard all day and deserves some time to relax. Go sit in the living room, Husband. I'll fix you a nice drink."

Darling... Husband... My Man?

Steph was acting decidedly odd.

She took a smart step back from him, stood up ramrod straight and beamed brightly. Her heels clicked together, slim shoulders back, perfectly angular chin up and small hands clasped neatly together in front of her flaring skirts.

She would have made a grizzled parade sargent weep tears of joy.

Moreover she looked like a 1950s Covergirl modeling Dior's housewife inspiration fashion line, right down to the big bouffant hairstyle and lacy white gloves.

"Steph, ummm... What's the occasion? Are we going to party tonight or..."

Mike didn't get to finish the thought as she spotted the bouquet and bottle dangling forgotten in his hands. The bedraggled flowers hadn't fared well in their amorous little tussle, not that they were winning any prizes in the first place.

"Oh, Darling! Are those for me?" She squealed excitedly, clasping her gloved hands to her freckled cheeks and twisting herself back and forth in girlish glee. "Let me get those in some water right away. I'm sooo~ lucky to have such a kind, considerate man to look after silly ol' me. Now go and sit, sit."

She scooped the wine and floral arrangement out of his limp fingers before flouncing back towards the kitchen, her hips swaying hypnotically under the pale green skirts and her rich mass of curls bouncing with every step.

Overwhelmed by her sheer exuberance and at a loss for anything else to do, Mike loosened his tie and wandered into the living room to do as instructed. Then stopped to gape as the place looked immaculate.

As two young professionals working full-time and making a start at their life together, something had to give. In the case of Michael and Stephanie it had typically been the housework.

Oh, their home wasn't dirty per se but when a married couple was burning the candle at both ends then small things had a way of falling through the cracks. The dusting didn't get done as often as it probably should and the coffee table became a catch-all for empty tea cups, junk mail and spare pocket change.

The living room looked like an interior designer with a team of specialist cleaners had swept through the space while hopped up on Ritalin.

The carpets were clean, the clutter magicked away and timber furniture was polished to a gleam. Even the couch and recliner had been adjusted minutely to better compliment the layout in some intangible way.

"I... I have some good news." Mike called over his shoulder as he sank onto the couch. Hell, even the slight musty smell was gone. "I wanted to surprise you."

He was desperately trying to get his derailed plans back on track. This was supposed to be a great night.

"Another surprise? For me, Darling?" Stephanie crooned from the kitchen as soothing music began lilting gently through the air. "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra sang through a portable speaker. "Do tell, I am breathless with anticipation."

Mike craned his neck about and found his beautiful wife standing in the doorway carrying a highball glass in one hand and clear jug of some coffee colored cocktail in the other. She had found a frilly white apron somewhere and it was pulled tight across her bulging bosom.

Was Steph wearing a new bra? Mike adored his lover's trim body but her petite athletic frame had never supported anything more than two modest handfuls. But all his internal observations were drowned out as Steph sashayed lovingly towards him with her brilliant emerald eyes downcast demurely, she looked so... domesticated.

"It's... ummm, good news." He managed to stammer as his stunning wife sauntered over, poured the creamy liqueur and bent low to offer to him the brimming glass in both hands. The demure pose afforded him a lovely view down the scalloped neckline of her dress. "Ah... Is that a new pearl necklace?"

"The good news, Darling?" She prompted, pressing the drink into his hands and letting her fingers linger on the back of his with a sweet, patient smile.

By all the stars above, she looked gorgeous tonight. Steph was radiating so much loving warmth and beauty and perfect blissful contentment that it left Mike dry in the mouth. He took a heavy gulp of the cocktail to steady himself.

"Wow, that is smooth. Do I taste brandy?" He asked, feeling alcohol settle comfortably in his stomach. "And vanilla?"

"It's a milk brandy punch, dear. A special treat for my strong, wonderful provider." She said with a happy sigh, leaning in to give him a soft kiss on the cheek and traced her hands over his shoulders. "Now, do you want to keep teasing me or will you tell me all about your day?"

"Yes, yes... Sorry. The good news." He said before taking another long sip before continuing, it really was very good. "Baby, my CPA came through today and I'm getting a promotion. A big promotion."

"Darling, that is fantastic news!" Steph gushed, bouncing cheerily in place. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

"It does, Sweetie." Mike said, nodding magnanimously and drinking again. "You can quit your job now and focus on your artwork."

"My job, Husband?" Steph asked, tilting her to one side head and giving him a quizzical grin. "What do you mean? I resigned my position at that awful office earlier today. It wasn't proper for a young lady like me to be working there anymore."

"Wait... what? You resigned already... Did something happen?" Mike asked, sitting upright in alarm.

"Not at all, dear. Be at peace." She soothed as she slipped side-saddle into his lap and refilled his empty glass. "It just occurred to me today that I am a married woman now and my place is here at home taking care of your needs."

Placing the jug down on a spotless side-table, Steph wiggled playfully in his lap and, running fingers through his hair, pulled him into another heated kiss. Mint and honey made a second assault on Mike's taste-buds as she moaned eagerly into his mouth and sucked on his bottom lip.

Mike's head was reeling as he tried to take everything in. His deliciously squirming wife was no quitter and her odd behavior coupled with her incongruous new look was setting off more warning bells than a five fire alarm. She mewled soulfully as he pulled away from her grasp and looked her in those entrancing emerald eyes.

"What did you think I meant when I told you I got my promotion?" He asked, trying to look past her coy smile but getting lost in her glistening verdant pools instead.

"Oh, my silly Husband. Do you really need to ask?" Stephanie giggled, wriggling her tight tooshie further into his lap and lifting the glass to his lips again. "I thought you meant I could suck on your big Darling dick to congratulate you."

Mike nearly spat his mouthful back up into the cup.

"Wha- what?" He coughed, Steph started patting him on the back with a look of concern.

"I wanted to suck on my Man's wonderful cock, of course." She said, as though her sudden oral infatuation was the most normal thing in the world. "I've been fantasizing about tasting it all afternoon as I cooked and tidied the house..."

Her manicured fingertips were sketching snaking little lines down the front of his shirt as a dreamy expression swept over her stunning features.

"... it's been getting me all hot and bothered just thinking about it. I've been fingering myself like a naughty-"

"Steph!" Mike's meaty member was unfurling in his pants as she reached for his belt buckle but the strong sense of wrongness had him fighting down his steadily growing arousal. "What's going on with you? Did something happen today?"

"I don't know what you mean, dear." She purred, licking her pillowy strawberry lips as she deftly popped the button on his trousers and unzipped the fly. "Don't you want your sexy little wifey to wrap her married mouth around your fat manhood? I don't think I've done it since the honeymoon and want to show you I still care."

It had been a while and her lacy gloves were sooo~ satiny smooth as she reached in and freed Mike's stiffening shaft from his boxers.

"Ooooh~ Steph..." He groaned as she slowly but lovingly began to stroke him to full mast, her hands were soft and warm as melted butter. "But.. but... your job. Your outfit..."

"You like my new dress, Darling?" Steph perked up at the mention of her clothes, her pumping pace quickening a little in excitement. "I saw it in the window of that vintage fashion store on the corner of Fifth and Main. I thought it would look perfect on your horny little housewife."

It did, gods above it surely did but Mike's Stephanie didn't dress like that and she certainly didn't speak like that either. His Stephanie wore faded jeans and oversized t-shirts with dried paint speckling the front. His Stephanie was uncomfortable with dirty talk and made sweet love with the lights out.

This Stephanie was rolling her frisky thumb over his engorged tip with each luxurious stroke and whispering smoldering words in his ear as she raised his hand holding the glass to his lust-parched mouth again.

Mike took another long swallow to clear his dusty throat. It was creamy and delicious and went down a treat.

Jeezus but he was harder than he had ever been in his life right now and this sexy new Steph just kept stroking him with those snowy soft gloves...

"No- No... I mean, when did you decide to quit your job?" Mike gasped as she gave his thrilling cockmeat a teasing little twist that put his balls on notice.

"I suppose it was right after lunch. Are you getting close, Darling?" She cooed and leaned in to nibble on his earlobe, making Mike shiver. "I really want to taste all my hunky Hubby's potent manseed."

"Did anything unusual... oh gawd~... happen at lunch?" Mike grunted, heroically holding back the king-tide of cum that was boiling in his balls and trying to think coherently at the same time.