All Comments on 'Caging Cadence'

I'm not really into the idea of Cadence and her mother possibly sharing the same boyfriend, but that's just a matter of personal preference.

I know Cadence is shown to be a timid person and she's clearly overwhelmed by her own sexual awakening so to speak, but I do hope that she doesn't lose her wits and intellect entirely in their encounters. It would be disappointing to see a victim having the nerve to fight back but does so in such an embarrassingly dimwitted way despite her credentials or prior claims of her being 'smart' or 'studious'--as I've already seen in some of the other stories posted here.

I do like the way you presented their differing POVs and how it is evident that neither one of them entirely knows the way the other person is thinking. They both have a good idea of the other person's thoughts, but never to the point where it would be unrealistic or over-the-top--which I have to say is another common flaw in a lot of the stories here.

1 - Can't please 'em all! But if you're the type of person who thinks there's a good way a "horny teenager" (a.k.a. a minor) can write pornography than your feedback doesn't mean much to me. Thanks anyway!

2 - To the second Anon, thank you very much for the constructive criticism. I'm a longtime reader of Literotica and the non-consent section, but this is my first attempt at submitting something. This piece is still a work in progress (I'm writing the next chapter now), but I'm hoping to deviate a bit from the typical pattern of plot/characterization you see here. I want to do well, so I really appreciate you pointing out specifics of what you liked and didn't like. We'll see where it takes me!

Loved it! Really well-written.

A well written and intense first chapter which excellently portrayed both her unwillingness to accept and his tempered sadism.

I confess I like fiery heroines and dickhead guys who get there comeuppance, so we shall see if you do take it in a different direction to the norm, as you intimate.

Roll on two.

can't wait for the next chapter, but the idea of Cadence and her mom sharing David kind of ruins it. still excited tho!

this was really good. it's really difficult to find a well written story im so glad i read it. i hope you write more stories <3<3<3

Thank you all so much! I'm really pleased and surprised that so many people have enjoyed this story. I'm about halfway through the second chapter, so rest assured that more is coming.

For those who are concerned - there will be no direct "sharing" or incest scenes involving Cadence and her mother. That's not where this is going. I have a vague idea for an indirect scene with David and Laura that Cadence is, let's say, "aware of", but if I decide to take it that way there will be a note in the chapter disclaimer for those even the suggestion of incest squicks out. It won't be chapter two, if it happens at all.

I really appreciate constructive feedback, so please keep letting me know what works and doesn't work. Thanks again!

Wow, I had no idea you were a new author until I read the comments - this story was one of the best I've read on this site. Well-written, and the characterizations and buildup throughout were great.

As I was reading, I kept remarking to myself that the story was so well done in that nothing seemed to just come out of the blue - it wasn't like one second she was the fearful victim and the next begging for his cock - everything built up naturally, and it's clear that she's torn and there's a tenuous balance between the two forces competing within her, but sometimes one force overcomes the other.

There were instances like this throughout, but one example of something skillfully done was when Cadence had initially closed herself in her room and was considering going back out to get her things, and she considered that David might not have actually left yet, so she checked (albeit not very well, obviously, but she checked all the same). Little things like that, where the character at least considers these things and weighs their options, really make a difference in the believability of the story - this is obviously fiction, but it's harder to get wrapped up in a story when every two seconds you're having to stop and think "damn she's stupid" or "wait, this is so unrealistic."

Well done! 5/5

This is something despicable in real life, but oh so delicious in fiction. I love how he just puts it out there. Tells her that he is a bastard who wants to cause her pain. I see far too much of the pleasure-pain, and not so much the pain-pleasure, if you know what I mean. The whole flick of the whip gently to arouse more than hurt was seriously boring. This guy is actually coming right out and saying he wants to hurt her. I hope he's not all talk for God's sake. I'm a tough critic because I like non-con, sadism, impregnation, and the happily ever after. No sharing though. If you feature that though, I'm sure you will do an excellent job and make a lot of other people very happy. Good job, and please don't be a sadist and make us wait too long!

Thank you all again for the wonderful feedback. I'm open to constructive criticism as well as requests and suggestions, and I really appreciate those who have been specific about what they enjoy and don't enjoy. While I can't promise to cater to everyone's tastes (this is, after all, my fantasy, first and foremost), I do hope that you all continue to enjoy David and Cadence's story.

I've submitted the second chapter - it's processing and should be up in 2-3 days. I currently have plans for at least two more chapters. Thank you all so much for reading and commenting!

Very good, I came very quickly. And as others said, well written. -Josieslut

Just a heads up - chapter two is still coming. It was rejected for being a bit too intense. I've worked it down and am waiting to hear if I still need to make changes. There wasn't too much violence in the second chapter so I'm worried it was more psychologically intense, which is a lot harder to fix.

That being said, if anyone knows of a volunteer editor who is familiar with the website's guidelines and where the line of "too much" is, specifically as it relates to non-consent, please contact me via my author page.

-- is still incoming! It got caught in the pending period for far longer than 72 hours, so I resubmitted it again. So sorry for the delay, and thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed chapter one so far!

I can't wait for chapter 2. This is very well written and I really enjoyed it. I was able to put myself into Cadence's place. Keep up the great work!

I have to admit that some (albeit very few) stories are too much for me. Like literally beating someone with malicious intent. Or truly breaking someone--wrecking their mind. I see some of that in my pursuit of the fine line between non-con s&m fantasy and flat out sociopathic rape & violence. How those stories can be approved and yours rejected is perplexing. I'm intrigued to see where this story will go...and if it's too much for even me.

I submitted my most recent edit on December 6th - it's still pending, so I'm not really sure where to go from here. I imagine they're dealing with a heavy volume of submissions on the back end. Sorry to everyone for the extended delay.

But just to make sure no one gets their hopes too up - it wasn't altogether that violent or that psychologically challenging. One editor suggested that perhaps the ending just wasn't "happy" enough. I rewrote it, ending it earlier than I had originally.

That being said, I toned it down a little even from where it was and implied more consent on Cadence's side. Hopefully that won't disappoint too many people. I was surprised it was rejected, because I have definitely read much worse on Literotica before, both here and in other categories.

Just started reading your chapters and I know that there more already written. I imagine David is going to be a bit pissed when he finds out that Cadence is not a virgin when he finally takes her. She broke her hymen with her little vibrator that she just used to orgasm hard. Of course he will know what she did and the punishment will be harsh. I wonder what he is going to do when he finds out she is a virgin due to lack of cock but not losing her hymen to him. He says he is a sadist and has hurt her mom but deep down it looks like Cadence will turn out to be a slut too.