Cajuns Stick Together

"On our way home." read the text I received from Bonnie. I immediately called Jake. He showed up within fifteen minutes followed by two sheriff's deputies. Jake grinned and told me to 'relax and enjoy' when I asked him if he had been paying those deputies to stand by. Bonnie and Rich pulled up in his car. Following closely behind was another familiar face. Boudreaux Landry. Talk about about coonass mentality. Boudreaux was a bully we knew from grade school. Plus he was dumb as a rock. How he ever gathered the wits to make it through college let alone law school baffled everyone who knew him from his early years. Somehow he did.

"Hey there Robert." he called with a grin. He pronounced my name "Ro-bear" in the accented way he talked. It grated hearing it from his mouth. When my Dad used the same pronunciation it was a term of endearment. "I unnerstand you got a little problem with your wife and brother in law bein' friendly. You know it's no big thing." I swear if I had a firearm at that point I could have put a bullet right between the bastard's eyes and never blinked. I knew better that to try to fight him. He stood six foot three and weighed at least three hundred pounds. Even if most of a lot of that weight was in his belly, I could not have fought him on my best day. I might run around and let him chase me until he keeled over with a heart attack and then kicked him in the head when he dropped but anything else was out of the question.

"Hey, Boudreaux!" I called back in greeting. "How's your mamma an' 'em?"

"Doin' good. Seems like we got us a little problem. Jus' trying to work it out." he replied. Then, like flipping a switch, the cajun was gone. "You don't seriously think my boy Rich is banging your wife do you?" Boudreaux asked congenially. His wolfish grin told me Rich had confided in him a bit. He knew they had an active affair going but was going to stick to the rumor defense.

"Well, the story is, that is exactly what is happening." I said. I saw Jake approach close enough to hear me. "I just can't abide by that, ya know. Not something this ole boy can put up with." I dropped the Cajun bullshit as fast as he had. I walked away.

"You took almost all the money out of our bank account!" Bonnie accused.

"Yep! and I have the statements to show exactly how much was there to start with." I said. "When we do the property separation you will get exactly what you are due." She glared at me. I did not bother to tell her that her credit card would not work anymore. Let her discover that on her own.

Neither Susan nor I accompanied Rich or Bonnie into the house to see if there was anything they could not wait to get later. My daughter Diedra and her cousin Cindy followed Bonnie and one of the deputies through the house. I had told the kids their role was to watch and make sure neither Rich nor Bonnie did anything 'funny'. I had not specified what 'funny' might entail. I hoped they would recognize it if it happened. Jason and Rob followed Rich as he checked out his own house.

"Where is my jewelry?" demanded Bonnie. I knew that would be a major point of contention. We had gone on several trips over the years, cruises to the Caribbean, and all inclusive trips to tropical resorts. Each year I had bought Bonnie a very nice piece of jewelry. We were picky. The gems were high quality. Tanzanite, emeralds, rubies, diamonds.. A few years ago a simple appraisal for insurance purposes estimated the worth at least twenty five thousand dollars.

Needless to say, Bonnie was very unhappy to hear the majority of her jewelry was safely locked away in my safe. Boudreaux began to offer his opinion but stopped when I took out my cell phone to take a picture of the ring on Bonnie's right hand and the necklace around her neck. "I have had ALL the pieces itemized for insurance." I explained. "I wanted to make sure these pieces did not go missing only to hear Bonnie 'sold' them like to a girlfriend for ten bucks. Being able to show she owns them today prevents that. They are community property, Just like my boat and pickup that Bonnie claimed she would take away from me earlier today." Bonnie bristled like I expected.

Boudreaux, on the other hand, looked at me with a speculative expression. I wondered if I could call it 'respectful' that I might really have a brain bouncing around in my skull. I wisely kept my mouth shut to not confirm his evaluation or discount it.

Jake, who had been observing, stepped in to explain we were all looking for the most accurate valuation of the community assets and explained that Bonnie might even want to surrender the ring and necklace she was wearing so we could get a new valuation done at one time. After all, he pointed out, the ring and necklace existed as my photo proved, so why not get an up to date evaluation? After a quick consultation with Boudreaux, Bonnie quietly pulled off the jewels and handed them to me.

"So where do expect me to go, you ass?" Bonnie asked. I came very close to saying 'why not your Victoria Street love nest' but managed to hold it. I shrugged. I realized what a massive shift my emotions had taken. Just a few days ago I was hopelessly in love with this woman. She along with our kids was my life. Now I did not give a fat rat's ass about her. I was red hot angry with her and but I also felt a coldness where she was concerned.

Bonnie and Rich finally got into their cars and drove away. Boudreaux followed a few minutes later. I voiced my thoughts wondering if they were going to take their things to the apartment. Jake smiled. "I hope so. I have a man following them. Exposing that apartment at this point would help our negotiations." Unfortunately they had thought of that, themselves and went to the Holiday Inn near their office. Boudreaux helped them carry their stuff inside.

I was going to have buy more thumb drives to store my backups of the audio and video files I was being sent. Susan and the girls were cooking supper at our house when my phone pinged announcing another email. She followed me into my den to get on the computer.

"Alright, guys." Boudreaux said. "Robert just might have somebody following you. You don't want him finding out about your apartment. That is why I insisted you stay at a motel and book a room with two beds. Make sure you mess up both beds like you slept separately. An investigator might bribe a maid to check. We use the excuse you are sharing a room to save money."

"Yeah! Leaving us just a little in the bank pisses me off." Rich said. "It was really embarrassing to have my credit card denied when I tried to check in. I'm glad I pulled extra cash earlier. So where do we go from here? I am going to call the credit card company and see if I can open a new account over the phone."

"Ok. you guys need to write some notes concerning your assets. Robert already thought about the jewelry. I bet he has a list started. Now I am going to say this next part in a hypothetical sense. If you have any money or other assets your spouses do not know about, you need to protect them. Legally they are community property but what Robert and Susan don't know about they can't get their hands on. I would have demanded a list of that jewelry but Robert said you had it appraised before so there is already established documentation. He was right about you selling it for a few bucks and then deny its existence. If you have a stack of krugerrands, I would tell you to bury it. If you have a secret bank account, make sure you have only a small amount of money in it. Those are easy to find. All it takes is your social security number to start a trace, especially if it is big enough to report to the IRS. Offshore accounts are not traced. Anything you have when we settle assets or when they actually file is fair game to be split. You do not want to be caught hiding assets at that point. You will testify that what you present is accurate to the best of your knowledge. A lie could result in a perjury charge. You understand where I am going with this?" Boudreaux said his goodbyes.

"So what do we do now?" Bonnie asked. "They might find our accounts in Baton Rouge! I thought we were safe using the office as our address."

"Fuck that shit!' Rich exclaimed. "I'll be damned if Susan is getting any more of my money. We need to call the airline and see if we can get a flight to the Cayman Islands tonight. We'll open an account there in the morning. Then we transfer the money electronically. It is too late to get to the bank for cashier's checks. I'll check on flights. You make the room look like we slept here. Mess up both beds and then wet wash cloths and ruffle the towels. Wet the shower. Don't forget to open the soaps and pour some of the shampoo out. Do anything else you can think of to make it look like we spent the night here. Then we head out. I'll call the office and tell them we are taking the day off tomorrow." The audio file ended.

"They have secret bank accounts?" Susan gasped. "But how? Where did the money come from? I see the bank account statements and know how much we make. He couldn't have hidden much money without my knowing. Surely not enough to make it worthwhile to hide it in the Cayman's!"

I was unsettled as well. Bonnie and I each got fifty dollars a week in cash just so we had walking around money. Most purchases were made with a credit card and we both looked over that statement each month to make sure nobody was making unauthorized purchases or the number stolen. "I told the woman at the apartment that Rich was suspected of dealing drugs and running whores. I was just bullshitting. But you don't think he really is doing something like that on the side, do you?"

"Rich? Mr straight and narrow?" Susan scoffed. "He would not know where to begin. But then I would never have suspected he would be cheating on me in a little hideaway either." We decided to let the issue lie for the evening. There was nothing we could do about hidden bank accounts at this point anyway. We joined the kids for supper.

I drove to Jake's law office the next morning. I had already arranged to have the jewelry appraised. I had always kept a list of all my firearms. That took a few minutes to establish a cumulative value from a local dealer. I asked him for a fair price he would offer. There was no way I would have sold those firearms for what he said they were worth. But at least I had his appraisal on paper. It only cost me the purchase of a new Glock pistol that I had been wanting to buy anyway. Now Bonnie could not tell me no.

Susan had gone to work to catch up on a couple files before the weekend. We met in Jake's office. I played him the audio files from yesterday. "I would REALLY like to find out who is sending you these." he said. "How they could have listened in on Bonnie and Rich in the hotel room is beyond me. A private investigator could not have done that so quickly. As far as the bank accounts are concerned, we might be able to find out the balances, but it will take a judge's order. I'm not sure we can get one to sign off on that. Not on the basis of this recording. We also would have to find the account. That might mean hiring an investigator. I will check with a guy who does banking inquiries for us though. He might be able to find something. But you are both pretty sure you haven't had a lot of money go missing?" We shook our heads. "It makes no sense to go through this much effort for a small amount of money. If they have been squirrelling away small amounts at a time, they must have been at it for years."

"Now I did get the ball rolling on this divorce. IF

you want to proceed as fast as possible like you said." Jake said. Both Susan and I agreed we wanted to get it done. Jake agreed. "In this state it takes six months to finalize a divorce. But that does not mean you have to wait that long to get a court date. Next week, we will meet with Bonnie and Rich and that asshole lawyer of theirs to go over the list of assets. Then we go before a judge for his decision. We are under Napoleonic law in this state. Inheritance laws are pretty tricky but divorce is easier. Especially in cases of proven adultery. I will add a statement on your behalf that counseling will do no good. That used to be the thing judges ordered and still do in some states. Once the judge makes his decree, you just wait the six months and that is the end."

"Oh, Boudreaux Landry called me this morning and demanded you release some of the money you took out of your accounts. The extra thirty percent. I told him we had pre-nups that allowed the cheating party only twenty percent of assets. I sent him a copy. Of course he asked for proof of the adultery. I told him that would be presented in court. He was not happy but nothing he could do about it. Actually it is a little fun to watch Boudreaux flounder. He is a pimple on the ass of the legal world. I might just have to figure a way to get that audio of him counseling hiding money offshore into the courtroom. It might not get him disbarred or even sanctioned, but it would certainly embarrass him."

I hated the very idea of not being home, but I had to go to work Saturday and Sunday. My head nurse claimed she could not cover those shifts. "What if I started coughing and had to be tested for Covid?" I asked. "Could you cover for me then?"

"Asshole!" Sharon said. "And I mean that affectionately. Yes, I could cover your shifts. I might have to be the one doing it though. At least for this weekend. We need a senior staff on hand and I have a thing going with the in-laws over in Lafayette. They aren't too happy I missed the last time they all got together and my husband has given me crap about not bailing on him this year. But I understand where you are coming from. If I found out my husband was screwing around, I would be a basket case. You have a buttload of vacation and sick time accrued. And this kind of crap certainly qualifies for emergency leave. Mental health is good for the sick time and then we will start the vacation. I just can't believe Bonnie would do this to you."

"Hey. I'll tell you what." I said. "I can't do much except sit around the house and drink beer this weekend and talk to the kids and my sister anyway. How about I work this weekend and you start my leave Monday?"

"Wow! Really? Thanks.You are a life saver. I owe you one." Sharon said. "I can do that. I'll put you in for an open end leave. I'll start with sick time and then go to vacation. You take as long as you need. Keep me in the loop."

Actually, working was a welcome relief. Weekends were always a little wild. Procedures were minimized but in critical care we still had to be on our toes. Maybe even more than during the week. We were the eyes and ears for the doctors, who, apart from making rounds, stayed home. I was a little taken aback to see my father in law waiting for me at the nurse's station when I returned from making my rounds mid-morning. "Hi, Dr Prejean. What brings a plastic surgeon to the ICU this morning?" I greeted him for the benefit of the other nurses. Most knew he was my father in law. I was sure the others would be informed quickly. None of the staff knew of my marital problems. Yet, anyway.

John, as he insisted I call him in private, was not happy. "Cut the crap and let's go talk." he hissed. Once we closed the door to the head nurse's office, he said. "What is this shit of you kicking Bonnie out of your house? I heard about it last night. She called her mother last night, bawling."

"John, I found out Bonnie is having an affair." I was not about to sugarcoat a thing with this man. It had taken years after I married his daughter for him to respect and trust me. He knew I was as honest and straight forward as the day is long. "The really bad thing about it is she is cheating on me with my sister's husband. I am dealing with the whole family in crisis."

"She said that was a rumor started by gossip in the office!" John said. "That they drive back and forth to work together and often eat lunch together. She told us that the rumor she was having an affair with her boss was just that..rumor."

I had not planned to reveal the depth of my knowledge but it had taken years of dealing with this man to get his respect. So I opened up to him.

"I have not told this to anybody other than my lawyer and of course my sister. I have not even confronted Bonnie and Rich with all I know much less tell the kids." I said, feeling the emotions welling up inside me. I held back the anger and grief. "I have PROOF! I am talking video and audio files. The stuff porn films are made of. I would never have gone off the deep end over a simple rumor. But this...!" I shook my head. Dr. John Prejean looked at me in shock. He could tell I was telling the truth.

"What are you going to do?" he asked softly. He knew the answer before he asked the question.

"What CAN I do?" I replied. "I am trying to soften the blow where the kids are concerned. They do not deserve to see their family ripped apart. But I cannot just sit on my ass and accept this, John. Tell me, what would you do if Bonnie was here telling you she had proof I was cheating on her?"

To give him credit, John was honest with me. "I would want your head on a platter. I would help her bury you." I could see tears form in his eyes. "How about Jason and Diedra? How are they dealing with this?"

"We have had a few conversations. They have their cousins who are in the same boat. They will need your help later but I don't think they are ready to discuss it with you right now." I said. Then I added, "Susan and I have not even told our own parents about this. It is too new and too raw. We are doing everything we can think of to protect the kids. To be honest they are acting a little weird. They are not acting as distraught as you might expect. They seem to be taking everything in stride. It seems like the five kids have circled the wagons. They talk to each other more than any of them talk to Susan or me. I have no idea what contact they have had with Bonnie. They seem really angry at Bonnie right now as you can imagine. That will fade with time. I told them they need to talk to their mother but I do not know if they have yet. I am staying out of that."

"I'm sorry, Robert. I had no idea. I came here today thinking you were being unreasonable. Overreacting to gossip." John offered softly. "I hope you understand I will protect Jason and Diedra first." I nodded. "And then I will have to help Bonnie, At least to support her physical needs. I want you to understand I am NOT condoning her behavior. If you say you have irrefutable evidence, then I will accept that. I want you to stay in touch. You are an honorable man." He turned and walked out of the office, his shoulders slumped. I felt more sorry for him than I did for Bonnie.

"Wow!" Susan said, when I got home that evening. "So he found out his little girl is not so virtuous. I bet he is shocked. You know we are going to have to tell Mom and Dad about all this pretty soon. I say tomorrow evening when you finish your shift. I am not going to have them be pissed at us for keeping them out of the loop." I agreed.

The meeting was certainly not pleasant. Dad simply asked if I had proof. I assured him I had undeniable proof. Like John, he was more concerned with how the kids were being affected than how Susan and I felt. I could live with that. In our culture, kids came first. Adults were taught to deal with ramifications of their decisions. Children were protected but informed so they would learn.

I had not received any further information from my mysterious benefactor. I was okay with that. I had four videos of explicit sexual activity that all showed Bonnie and Rich's faces. I had audio tapes that proved this was not just short fling. It had been deliberately planned and executed and had been going on for a at least a few years. I did not need any more proof. Bonnie had not only cheated on me sexually but somehow she had cheated the family financially. How she accumulated enough money to make it worth a flight to the Cayman Islands was still a mystery but just knowing she had infuriated me. To me she was a thief as well as a cheat, taking what should have been family wealth. Jake had started an inquiry using their social security numbers to locate the accounts. He assured us that even if the money was gone, we should be able to subpoena the statements for the amounts moved.