Cajuns Stick Together

Some of our questions were answered the following Wednesday morning. We had gathered to lay out all our combined assets. A court appointed financial arbitrator was assigned to go over all the paperwork. I had supplied an estimate of my yearly wages. I had also found a pay stub for Bonnie that I provided to Jake. Bonnie made five thousand a month while my paycheck fluctuates depending on how much overtime I work. But by year's end we made within a couple thousand dollars of each other. Jake said that would have pretty much eliminated alimony even without the prenup and my proof of infidelity. On Monday, the auditor had asked for the past couple years of income tax filings as well. I was happy to find the sealed envelopes in the bottom drawer of our desk.

Susan had to contact the accountant for copies of hers and pay to have them sent to Jake. She had no idea where Rich had stashed their copies and was upset they were not filed with other family documents like previous year's returns. She knew his income was about eighty thousand compared to her fifty and was happy when Jake said she would likely receive a sizable monthly 'maintenance' payment. Maintenance is what they call alimony in our state.

Boudreaux swaggered into the conference room followed by a sullen Rich and Bonnie. Bonnie glared at me. Her anger surprised me. I expected her to be at least a little apologetic. She was the one who cheated and destroyed our marriage. I knew that clenched jaw. She looked ready to start cursing me but kept quiet. I figured Boudreaux told her to control herself. Rich was clearly unhappy and strained to keep his facial expressions fairly neutral.

The court official introduced himself and his assistant who was taking written notes as well as electronically recording us. I assumed everything we said would be transcribed to written form. "Let's begin. Your attorneys have forms for each of you to sign. It is simply a written affidavit that any testimony you give here today is true to the best of your knowledge. And any statements you make can be entered as evidence. Our purpose here is get an itemization of total assets and incomes. The judge will review that listing and make a determination of how the property will be divided. We will not discuss prenuptial agreements. I understand that is an issue in this case. Now for vehicle valuation we will use a standard blue book amount based upon year, model and make. I understand that you have kids of driving age. Even though the vehicle he or she drives is in your names, for our purposes here, we can consider the vehicle his or hers IF both parties agree. Then it will be separated from the community property. We will get to the actual money in a bit. We will start with you, Mr and Mrs. Fontenot."

Listing the vehicles, firearms, boat and household furnishings surprisingly took only a few minutes. Even Bonnie's jewelry was not an issue. I had it appraised and the value was worth more than my pickup truck and firearms combined. Boudreaux insisted the solar system be considered a separate entity and produced a paper that showed it's value and allowed depreciation. Jake looked it over and made a few notes, then nodded. The 401k accounts were listed. I asked why stating I thought those were to be excluded. "No, they are considered since you have been married for over ten years, but in your case both accounts are fairly close to the same value, so it should not be a major problem." Jake answered. Then we got started on the money itself. The checking and savings account statements I got when I took the eighty percent of the funds was entered.

Then he did the same review for Susan and Rich.

"All this is relatively straight forward." the auditor, Mr Jacobs, said. "What concerns me is your statements of income. There is a big discrepancy between the estimation of Mrs. Fontenot's salary and the reported income on the past two years of your income tax filings." Rich sat up straight and sucked in his breath. "I have an estimated income of sixty thousand dollars for each of you." I nodded and said I used a pay stub and multiplied her salary times twelve. "Yes, but for each of the past two years, MS Fontenot's income was much higher. She reported an income of one hundred forty thousand dollars each year." My incredulous expression must have been amusing but my loud exclamation of "What the Fuck!!" got a frown from Mr. Jacob's assistant. "Didn't you review your income tax returns when you filed?" he asked me.

I shook my head and explained that Bonnie and Rich insisted a new accountant do our taxes the past couple years. They wanted to throw a little business to one of their clients. "It was filed electronically. I just looked at the small return we were getting back and never thought any more about it." I answered. Bonnie was turning scarlet.

"Well, her salary is what you estimated as her gross income, but she also received bonuses in the amount of eighty thousand dollars each of those years. I estimate her net would be sixty thousand dollars each year." Mr Jacobs said. I looked between Boudreaux, Bonnie and Rich. Boudreaux looked clueless but the other two looked like they wanted to slink out of the room.

"Now in Mr Jenkin's case he made one hundred and ten thousand dollars in bonuses each of those years. Mrs Jenkins did not have a copy of their filings but I did review the certified copies your accountant sent." Susan asked how much extra that would be. "Net of about eighty thousand each year, so about one hundred sixty thousand total."

"So where is the money, Bonnie?" I demanded, hotly. "I guess that explains why you two went to the Cayman Islands last Friday. You were trying to hide the money."

"What are you talking about?" she began, then blurted angrily as she lost it. "How did you know that? Are you having me followed?" she demanded, then she regained control.

"Nope I didn't need to follow you." I said. "You did it to yourself." I explained for the benefit of the two attorneys and especially the court reporter. She and Susan both insisted all the kids have phone locator applications installed when they got their cell phones. We used that like an electronic leash so we could tell where they were at any given time. It worked just as well in reverse. "I convinced Jason and Diedra to go talk to you last Friday. When you did not answer they used the app. You were off the grid for most of the day. They kept checking. The other kids started searching for Rich. They were pretty surprised to see you both finally reappear just off the coast mid afternoon. Using the time and a list of flight arrivals in New Orleans, we guessed you had been to the Caymans." Both Bonnie and Rich looked thunderstruck. "Then Monday they went to your office to visit and heard you were out. They saw you were in Baton Rouge, so I am willing to bet you were transferring all the money to the accounts you opened down there."

Jake took over. "Boudreaux, you know as well as I do that we can get statements proving the balances of those accounts. And it is illegal for an attorney to suggest his clients hide money in an offshore account to avoid community property distribution. It seems funny your clients took a flight down there just hours after hiring you to represent them. And you should warn your clients hiding assets like this is a criminal offense. With these figures, it is a felony!" Bonnie began to cry. Even Rich began to look scared now.

I almost laughed at Boudreaux's expression. His face paled then turned red as a beet. I wondered if the big fat man was going to have a stroke."I did no such thing!' he declared, glancing at the recorder and Mr Jacobs' assistant who was busily typing away.

Susan looked at Jake. "Can we force them to bring the money back?" He nodded and told her we would get our full share when all was said and done, even if we had to garnish Rich's and Bonnie's wages. "Eighty percent of those accounts will be yours when you and Robert prove infidelity in court. They will be responsible for that full amount."

"But there is no money!" Bonnie exclaimed. "It was gone when we tried to transfer it." Rich tried to shush her but she brushed him off and continued. "I think you know that! You stole it!" she accused me loudly, spittle flying. I looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"I didn't even know for sure about the money until a little while ago. I suspected there was money from your actions but had no idea of the amounts. What are you going to claim, next? You spent it all or gambled it away? I'll call bullshit on both those claims." I said. She shook her head,emphatically, explaining they had tried to electronically transfer the money when they were in a bank in Grand Cayman. The transfer was rejected so they went to Baton Rouge Monday to find out why. They both claimed all the money had been electronically transferred a full week prior. They had asked for an inquiry as their online statement only referenced the transfer but not the routing number or account where the money ended up.

"Give me the banking information of the account in Baton Rouge and I will have it investigated." Mr Jacobs said."I can get the results faster than you could on your own. It will be entered into the court records."

Rich and Bonnie both looked dejected when they left the room. "I wonder where the money went." Susan said. "I mean I went from a high hearing of a pile of cash sitting in an account to the low of it being gone." I shrugged. I wondered the same thing. 'One more mystery.' I thought.

Somehow Jake and Boudreaux got our case expedited. I suspected Bonnie and Rich begged Boudreaux to do what he could to get us before the judge as soon as possible. They stayed at the Holiday Inn for a full week before finally giving it up and moving into the apartment on Victoria Street. I was amused imagining their discussions about revealing their love nest. I guessed they were having a bit of a cash flow problem. I knew the few thousand dollars they had on hand was not going to get them far especially if Boudreaux had insisted on a big retainer for his services. I almost wished for an audio file to be sent but had not received any for some time.

All five kids insisted they attend the hearing. I agreed to let them. My opinion was since they were affected by the divorce they deserved to be present. Jake explained what we should expect. Judge Guidry liked to conduct his court in a semi-formal manner. He would sit at a table near us, not behind his normal elevated desk. Jake, Susan and I would sit a table on the left and Boudreaux. Rich and Bonnie would sit across from us , forming a triangle. The gallery where the kids would sit compromised the tip of a diamond. Following Jake's lead we stood when the judge entered. He waved us to our seats. "I like to conduct these family issues in a semi-formal manner." he explained. "That means you sit and speak when I address you. If you want to comment, raise your hand, like in school. These events are usually emotionally charged but I expect you all to behave and be respectful. Piss me off and I will kick you out! Understand?" I thought at least one of the kids would have busted up laughing at that final statement but they all managed to hold it in.

"Well, I have reviewed both case files Normally, we would consider these cases as separate issues. But I understand evidence here is the same as well as the parties involved. Brother in law and sister in law accused of adultery. In the state of Louisiana adultery does not in itself effect a divorce. However I understand there are prenuptial agreements that greatly effects the distribution of community property in the case of adultery. So at some point I will ask for irrefutable proof of that adultery."

"First off, there was some discrepancy concerning cash assets. Apparently there were accusations of attempting to hide those funds. I received the results of the investigation in that regard. It seems Mrs. Fontenot and Mr Jenkins did have bank accounts in Baton Rouge with account balances of one hundred twenty thousand and one hundred sixty thousand dollars respectively." My heart jumped. Proof the bitch had hid a pile of money! "Now, the full balance of those accounts was transferred from those accounts the Monday before this divorce case was filed. According to the bank records, proper passwords were used and confirmation questions answered correctly. This indicates that Mrs Fontenot and Mr Jenkins either made the transfers themselves or they gave out that information to a third party. There was no indication however the transfer was done fraudulently despite their statements. Further investigation identified the recipient accounts and the names on those accounts. That is the part that puzzles me. All the money, the full two hundred and eighty thousand dollars was evenly distributed among five accounts. Those accounts belong to their children. Jason and Diedra Fontenot, and Robert, Dave and Cynthia Jenkins. The transfers are perfectly legal under the Uniform Gift to Minors Act. These accounts were established several years ago. I assume they were intended to fund college or provide income in case of the death of a parent." I was astounded. Why had Bonnie raised so much fuss if she had given her secret money to the kids? I looked back at the Judge. He had a slight smile on his face. Rich and Bonnie both looked stricken. Judge Guidry continued, "From what I see when reviewing all available documentation is a couple parents developing a sense of responsibility if not remorse and giving the money they had hidden from their spouses to their children. Now those type of contributions are not reversible unless fraud is proven. Does anybody here have any proof of fraud?" I was elated. Sure, I would have liked to get my eighty percent but knowing Bonnie and Rich got nothing and the money was shared among the kids thrilled me.

I watched both Rich and Bonnie glare at Susan and me. They just knew we had somehow outsmarted them and stolen their money. I knew neither Susan or I had done any such thing. As Judge Guidry looked at each of us in turn we all shook our heads and said, "No, Your Honor." I would have bet they were scared of possible charges for having secreted the money and attempting to hide it offshore. Apart from their glares neither gave an indication they wanted to contradict Judge Guidry's comments.

'Okay, the next issue we need to address is to establish custody of the minor children." the judge stated. At this point, my daughter Diedra raised her hand. He called on her, "Yes?'

"Uhh, Your Honor, I looked up custodial assignments online and it said kids, at well uhh, fifteen years and above can select which parent they go to live with." she said.

"Yes, in some states the dependents can decide as long as there are no signs of abuse. In this state, however, that is not the case. In my cases, I DO talk with the children privately and consider their input." Judge Guidry stated.

Still standing, Diedra stated, "I don't need to talk to you in private. My Mom cheated on my father. And doing that, she cheated on our whole family. I want to live with my Dad. She tapped Jason the shoulder. He immediately stood and stated he wanted to live with me as well. Robert, Dave and Cindy stood up in unison and announced they wanted to live with their mother for the same reason. My heart swelled. Under the table I squeezed Susan's hand.

"I will consider your wishes."Judge Guidry said with a half smile. "But it has not yet been established that any 'cheating' as you put it occurred."

Diedra"s hand shot up again. Once again the judge called on her. "I also read that a sixteen year old can petition the court to become emancipated. Meaning they can live on their own. And a seventeen year old can leave home without that petition."

Diedra remained standing while the judge addressed her. "Yes, as far as a seventeen year old is concerned, that is an old law but still on the books. It came about from young men wanting to enlist for military service without parental consent. As far as a sixteen year old petitioning for emancipation, one of the criteria is the person has to be able to support his or her self. Ok?"

Diedra nodded and said, "Well, I have my college fund. And it just got an extra fifty six thousand dollars added to it, not counting what my parents and grandparents may have put in before that." At this point Cindy stood up.

"Me too." she said. "Combined, we have a lot of money to live on our own for a long time. Her brother Dave stood up and just smiled. "Me too. We could live together and afford to rent a nice place."

Jason and Rob stood up and said that if they combined their money, all five could do really well on their own. I looked at the judge for his reaction. He was barely containing his mirth. I think if he was not in court he would be laughing his ass off. "Let me guess. If I do not go along with your wishes, you will all petition the court for emancipation, or in the cases of you older boys just move out on your own." Five heads nodded. "Sit down." he ordered. "I will consider what you said."

"Now there is a claim of adultery in this case. Normally that is not an issue in a divorce but both parties have an ironclad prenuptial agreement that greatly effects the distribution of community property. So I am going to ask you to present your proof that adultery occurred."

Jake stood up. "Your honor, I was provided these photographs showing Richard Jenkins and Bonnie Fontenot naked and engaged in sexual intercourse."

Boudreaux stood up and said, "I object, Your Honor. Anybody with a decent photo altering program can make a photo. I have a picture of me shaking hands with the President. And another of us playing golf. My son made them for me as a joke. I would like to point out counsel did not state the source of his supposed evidence."

Judge Guidry looked at Jake and then Susan and me. Jake nodded to me to respond. "Your Honor, I am not sure of the source of our evidence. I was sent a series of videos and audio files from an anonymous source. I took those pictures as screenshots from one of the videos I received. I did not want to provide a video and have it put into evidence unless I had to, but I have a DVD and a flash drive showing a full video of my wife and brother in law having sex." I looked over at Rich and Bonnie. Both looked like they were about to crap their pants. They were shaking their heads as if unable to believe what I said was possible. "However, Your Honor, if you want to play the video here in the court room, I would ask we send the kids out of the room. They do not need to watch this."

"Not a problem, Daddy." Diedra said from the side. "It is just sex and we have seen it already. Those you have are not nearly as bad as some of the videos."

Cindy spoke out, "Yeah, especially like the one where Daddy has Aunt Bonnie bent over the end of the couch, doing her up the butt while she makes noises like an owl. HOO HOO HOO." All five kids cracked up laughing, hysterically. I sat there in shock for a few seconds. Suddenly the whole picture became clear. I put two and two together and came up with twenty. The revelation was both settling and disturbing. I looked towards the back of the court room where my father sat quietly, observing. He nodded.

Judge Guidry looked at Bonnie and Rich for their reactions. Their faces were scarlet and both were obviously rattled. "Alright, do I need to play this file Mr Fontenot has just provided the court? Or do all parties agree that infidelity actually did occur?" I knew Boudreaux would have loved to see the footage. Between the way he looked around and the way he licked his lips, I could tell the asshole was even aroused. But when Bonnie and Rich both quickly pleaded with the judge to not play the video I offered, he backtracked.