All Comments on 'California Adventure'

very nice! do more!

only constructive crit is that drawing out the last scene a bit more would have worked up more tension.

first she kicks her friend out because he is fucking 1 woman and her reaction is groupsex? write a plot that has some more in it that a cheap pornflick

I really enjoyed the story and yes.. drawing out the last part would have been nice... I actually found myself wanting a Part II.

I found the thought process and resulting adventurousness very credible. So keep up the good work

Don't think I would start a relationship with a girl I knew was a slut and she wasn't bothered at all at loosing her boyfriend. Nobody is married and it should stay that way, hopefully nobody took pics.

This is a great 1st story. I rated it a 5, in spite of the first paragraph being confusing. Anyway, great use of language and I like the way you try to make the character belivable.

I read this story on Sunday. It's super hot. (And thanks for recommending your favorites!)

I thought about the story today (Tuesday)at work. I kept thinking of all those condomed cocks sliding into her pussy. Has me kind of horny again just thinking about it. Thanks. Keep up the good work.

I wrote a longer description here:

http://forum.literotica.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=31762298

Find a revision of this story as well as more of my erotic writings at my new blog: http://orchidcuriosa.blogspot.com/