California Dreamin Ch. 02

It's been three years since I had that wonderful sex-filled night with my old flame, Diane. We met up at a writer's conference in California and rekindled our physical and emotional relationship 3000 miles from home.

She bailed on me and flew back to New Jersey before I could stop her. I keep telling myself it was not meant to be as she was married to someone she 'loved' for 10 years and wasn't going to leave him, in spite of the many times she told me that night that she loved me.

It was her way to not bring embarrassment or shame to the family by continuing our relationship. I'm sure that's what it was to make her disappear and loose touch with me for so long. The fact that just about everyone knew we were more than just friends, bothered her. We were both previously married, and had grown children.

I had closed that chapter of my life after she abruptly vanished from the writer's convention, thinking to myself that she would not ever leave husband number two. She told me that she loved him and that he was a 'wonderful man'. Well, she didn't have the guts to tell me to my face, she left a note with the hotel concierge. It was everything she wasn't saying in that note that made me think perhaps she really didn't want to be married to him. Or maybe I was just trying to read into it the way I wanted.

That summer as fate would have it, I met up with her again! Friends of mine have a home at the Jersey shore, and invited me to spend a week there last August. Prior to that, I hadn't scene or heard from her. Being a lover of the ocean, I couldn't resist my friend's invitation and was looking forward to spending some time with them at the beach.

One night my friends and I went to a restaurant on the water overlooking the harbor. After being seated, I glanced over to my right and saw her having dinner with a very handsome, partially gray haired man. They were sipping wine and smiling at eachother. I immediately hated him. I didn't care what kind of person he was, I hated the fact that he got to spend time with her and I became insanely jealous.

I went into panic mode. What should I do? Casually just go say hello and see what her reaction was? Pretend not to see her and hide behind my friends with my back to them? I didn't know how to act. My stomach immediately had butterflies just seeing her again. She looked great and seemed to be happy. Part of me was saying she didn't deserve to be happy as I was miserable and it was all her fault!

Seeing them together, I wanted to burst her bubble and throw myself in front of her so she could squirm and explain me away. I wondered if she had told him about us and that we had a physical relationship for nearly ten years before she ever met him. Did he not know anything about her past? I contemplated what to do and pretended to enjoy my meal when all I wanted to do was throw up or hide under the table.

I nervously sat watching their every move. It seemed that she was getting up and heading for the restroom. This was my chance! If I was going to confront her, I should corner her in the bathroom and tell her how I felt about what she did to me three years ago in California.

I excused myself and headed to the ladies room. I saw her go into a stall and waited by the row of sinks until she came out. When she exited, she was stunned at seeing me there with my arms crossed and a furious grin on my face,

'OMG' she said. Barb, 'What are you doing here?'

'Really?' I said with a hint of anger in my voice.

'I'm sorry things didn't work out in California, Barb, but I had no choice.

I'm married now, as I told you."

'No, you didn't tell me, you didn't have the guts to talk to me. You wrote me a note for Gods sake!'

'I'm sorry. I didn't want to see that hurt look on your face if I told you in person.'

'Well, are you at least happy now?'

'No, not really. I'm just settling at this stage of my life'.

'Why? Why can't you be with someone you love and who love's you back?' I asked her.

'He does love me. I just don't know why I don't feel the same love for him as I did for you.'

I couldn't believe what she was saying. She admitted it! She did LOVE me! I searched her face, looking into her eyes to see if I could tell she was just making it up or if she was really being truthful. I knew she had to leave as he was waiting for her return so I hastily blurted out:

'Can I see you? Just as friends. I miss our friendship and I miss you. You don't have to tell him about us if you don't want to.'

'He knows nothing about our relationship, as it was so many years ago. I mentioned your name to him that you were a close friend but nothing more. I would like to keep it that way'.

'I don't care what you tell him, as long as I can see you again!' I said, pathetically.

I heard myself begging for her to let me back in her life. Why was I doing that I asked myself? She wasn't worthy of my friendship or my love for that matter. I just couldn't help it, as I wanted desperately to see her again. My heart was speaking for itself even though I wanted it to shut up.

She turned and headed for the door saying, "Call me. You have my number".

I joined my friends and as much as I wanted to finish my dinner, I just couldn't put anything into my stomach. I had all I could do not to burst out crying as I saw him grab her hand and put his arm around her waist as they exited the restaurant. I felt the blade of the dagger go deep into my chest.

Of course I tossed and turned all night thinking and plotting my next meet up with Diane. I wanted to be casual and not act so needy, but I couldn't help it. I truly wanted to see her and spend time with her in spite of all she had put me through.

I must have sat there looking at my phone for twenty minutes before I got up the nerve to dial her number. She answered after the first ring and said, "I didn't think you would call".

'Well, I did. Do you want to meet for lunch? I'm free today', I anxiously told her.

'No, I can't. Richard and I are going sailing. Maybe, tomorrow then?'

She sounded so stuck up. Sailing? Who goes sailing? The guy must be well off to have a sailboat and a house down the shore.

"Ok. Sure. Tomorrow is fine."

"Where should we meet"

"Barnacle Bill's on the boardwalk about 1. Does that work for you? She asked.

"Yes, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Barb," she said, "Yes?" "I'm glad you called." "Me too." Was all I could say without emotionally falling apart on the phone.

I couldn't sleep another night in anticipation of meeting up with her again. It had haunted me for years that I should get over her, and now, we were meeting eachother for lunch. Surely the universe must have planned it that way I kept telling myself. I wanted desperately for it to work out. I knew it was next to impossible for me to spend time with her and not want her physically. I didn't know how I was going to handle that part of the meeting. I certainly didn't want to scare her off, as I was willing to accept her back in my life under any terms. Or at the very least, I was going to tell her that I would give it a try.

The next day I arrived at the bar/restaurant early to get a good seat in the back of the place, overlooking the ocean. The restaurant jutted out high above the waves and it almost appeared like you were floating on the water. It was kind of romantic.

I ordered the usual and one for her, as I knew what she liked to drink. My plan was to get her a little tipsy so that she could express her true feelings. That always was the case when we were together and I was counting on it working now.

She looked great wearing a cute sundress that showed off her beautiful melon-like breasts. Apparently, she had gotten a little sunburned the day before while they were sailing and looked absolutely radiant.

I stood up to greet her as she approached the table and we kissed on the cheek. She smelled wonderfully familiar. I wanted to linger there lost in her hair as long as I could when we embraced without making it too obvious.

'Thank you for the drink. You remembered.'

'Of course, and your welcome.'

We talked for awhile, she ordered a salad and I had a burger. Catching up on the past few years she told me she was still writing occasionally, but nothing was published yet since the two children's books a few years back.

We talked about Richard and she told me she met him through a group of writer friends. She said he fell in love with her the day they met and that she tried putting off dating him for as long as she could, but then gave in. She told me he was more of a companion than a husband, but she was okay with that, as sex with him didn't interest her anymore.

I told her I wasn't as lucky to find anyone that wanted to be with me and that I had thrown myself into my newspaper column, still fighting with my editor to let me write what I wanted and not what he insisted I write about.

After a few drinks she made the excuse of going to the bathroom before leaving. It was a one-person bathroom, so I followed her in. Shutting and locking the door behind us, I grabbed her with both hands and pushed her up against the closed door kissing her passionately so reminiscent of the many times we kissed before. She put her purse down and held my head in her hands as she vigorously kissed me back.

I slid my hand under the hem of her sundress to feel the nakedness of her legs moving my hand slowly up to her thighs.

'We cant, not here!' She said.

'Why not? No one will know. The door is locked.'

'I can't Barb, I'm too nervous,' she said as she pushed me away from her.

Frustrated I stopped my advances and looking at her I blurted out:

'I need to be with you, Di!'

'I know you do, 'she said very accommodating.

' Let's plan to meet tomorrow night. I will tell Richard I have a book club meeting, which I actually do have and I will meet you wherever.'

'Ok. I will call you tomorrow to firm up the plan.'

So, here I was contemplating having another affair with her when I knew it was wrong. I had just condemned her for sleeping with me in California and cheating on her husband back in NJ and here we were, plotting to be deceitful again.

I told myself I didn't care. I didn't know him and I was convinced that he couldn't possibly love her as much as I did. I was her true love, not him. I pushed any thoughts of her husband out of my mind looking forward to the following day.

Fortunately, the book club met at the Hampton Inn near the shore in one of their conference rooms. I arrived early to secure a hotel room and, awaited her arrival. As I was waiting at the bar, she came in looking absolutely beautiful wearing a black sheer top and short skirt. I immediately wondered what she had on underneath as I was sure it was something red and sexy.

Joining me at the bar, we sat and made pleasantries over a drink. I asked her how she was going to get out of the book club meeting. She said she would go and sit in the back and then slip out when no one was looking. I gave her the room key and number and we split up after a couple more cocktails.

She went into the meeting room and I made my way to the elevators. It reminded me of the many times we had our rendezvous when she was married to Billy, husband number one. Since we weren't spending the entire night, just a few hours, it was called a 'short stay' to the hotel personnel. I have to admit we spent a lot of money on short stays as we snuk away a couple times a week and on weekends, but it was well worth it.

I entered the hotel room and immediately took off my blouse and slacks. Closing the drapes and putting on a lamp by the desk, I went into the bathroom to freshen up anxiously waiting for her to join me. I poured a drink from the hotel fridge and had one ready for her. Sitting on the side of the bed in only my underwear, I sipped my drink and tried to control my excitement for what was about to happen.

The door opened and she said, "You look comfortable".

"Yes, I am. Have a drink with me".

With that, she put her purse on the dresser and picking up her glass, sat next to me on the bed. She began making circular motions on my thigh with her finger as she sipped on her cocktail.

"I've missed you"; she said continuing to tease me with her fingertips.

"I doubt that", I immediately said. But part of me actually meant it.

"No, seriously, I have. I can't get our last meeting out of my head"

"Me neither. The sex was always good with us,' I exclaimed as I placed my drink on the nightstand.

'Not just the sex Barb. It was nice and comfortable being with you again. It brought back many happy memories of when we were together'.

'Yes, I know' I said and leaned into her for a kiss.

Our lips touched and she immediately slipped her tongue into my mouth making me swell with excitement. I was remembering how soft and full her lips were and how much I enjoyed making love to her as I closed my eyes while we kissed.

I tugged at her slinky top for it to come away from her shoulders. She unbuttoned it and let it fall to the floor. I grabbed forcibly at her bra and pulled it down to her waist, unleashing her breasts, noticing that her nipples were now hard, just begging for me to suck on them. I then slipped her skirt and underpants down her legs till she was totally naked, ready for me to consume her.

I became lost in her bosom. Kissing one of her breasts and then the other. Nibbling on her nipples as I sucked them with lustful desire. She began to moan and laid back on the bed. I straddled her and started kissing every inch of her belly till I made my way down to her barren mound. I teased her with the tip of my tongue until she begged me for more. I was in my glory experiencing the scent of her again and listening to her gentle and familiar moaning as she closed her eyes. I was lost in my long awaited desire to please her.

Then it was her turn to show me how much she missed and wanted me. It was different this time. It was like she felt sorry for what had happened in California and she wanted to show me how much she really did care. I guess it's hard to forget someone once you have kissed every inch of her body.

I was in heaven. I couldn't believe after all the times we were together and apart that we were now in eachother's arms again. We spent a few hours enjoying one another and plotting our next hook up. All the while I had thoughts in the back of my mind as to where the affair was going. Surely I knew she didn't want out of her marriage to the rich guy with the boat and the house down the shore. I knew she wouldn't be happy just living with me, as I didn't have much to offer her except my undying love.

I tried to get those negative thoughts out of my mind and told myself we would cross that bridge when we got to it as I only wanted to enjoy my time with the one person I was convinced, was the love of my life.

After ordering room service and cuddling on the king size bed for awhile, we knew it was getting late and she would have to return home to Richard.

I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving my bed and going home to his. It made me crazy. I asked her how she was going to handle it and she told me he would probably be sleeping when she got home.

I didn't want her to leave. I knew where she lived as she gave me her address. We made plans for me to come for lunch at her house the next day. She said Richard would probably be playing golf so we could spend some time at her backyard pool.

The next day I put on a pair of short shorts, a tank top with no bra or panties and packed a suit and towel incase we decided to go for a swim. As I drove up to the house I was amazed how big and spacious it was. It had to be four or five bedrooms. She greeted me at the door and I handed her a bottle of her favorite wine.

'Thank you, but you didn't have to bring anything.' She said.

'That's OK. I know how much you like that vineyard's wine'.

We made our way to the patio and sat at the huge glass poolside table where she had her laptop open and was working on her writings.

'Your home is beautiful', I remarked.

'It's really Richard's home. I sold my townhouse when we got married and I moved in here.'

I pretended that I was interested but didn't want to know anything about her and Richard. I told myself that whenever I was with her, he didn't exist. I wondered what she was thinking when she was alone with me.

'I have to tell you Barb I am really confused now that you have come back in my life', she admitted.

'Well, I understand, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I know you are married and I think you now realize that you love me more than you love Richard.' I told her.

'I guess I do, but I don't want to hurt him.'

'But it was ok to hurt me?'

"The situation is different. He's a guy. Everyone accepted him as my husband and lover. It was a normal relationship. Not like you and I.'

'But everyone knew how much we cared about each other and it didn't seem to offend anyone.' I told her.

'Whenever we were around my family I was extremely uncomfortable, Barb. It offended me.'

'I know, but we could have worked something out. We could have moved out of state so that we didn't see them so often', I told her.

'That wouldn't have worked. There was no way out. I had to separate myself from you as painful as it was for me, too.'

With that her eyes began to fill with tears.

'Don't cry. It was in the past' I told her. "I survived'.

Getting up from my chair I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders in a consoling way. Just at that moment, Richard came through the back gate.

'Hello. You must be Barbara', he said to me putting out his hand to greet me.

I jumped back from Diane and shook hands with the jerk.

'You have a beautiful home', I remarked.

'Thank you. Diane makes it a home. Before her it was just brick and mortar.' He said as he kissed his wife on the cheek.

'I'm going in for a shower and then meeting the guys for some poker', he told her.

'OK. Will you be home for supper?'

'No, don't worry about me. Have a nice visit with your friend 'he said.

I wanted to say, "Don't worry, she will", but I controlled myself as I watched him scurry into the house.

"Geeze, is he always so nervous and jerky?' I asked

"No. He is ok. He was just in a rush to meet with his poker buddies.' she defended him. I wanted her to say, yeah, he is a jerk...but she didn't.

To be continued.....