All Comments on 'Call Out Your Name Ch. 05'

To say I'm shocked is putting it mildly.

WTF. Dark ending to your story.

Depressing as hell. But still a good story.

I don't know exactly how to label this, so I'll just call you brave instead.

I am not the kid of guy who gets overemotional by any stretch, but this chapter made me cry.

You just took Neph and Cia's places on my 'writes really dark and twisted stuff at times list'. lol I am still bawling and cried all through the damn chapter...at times not able to see the screen. God, how sad. Sick as I may be, I thought at one point that he'd have been lucky to have died and been with Jesse. Guess I'm a bit twisted too. I think it was a great story despite the awful upset you have left me with! I think it a great comment on the sad state of affairs when a parent can't embrace their child and give the unconditional love they should. I wish Shane had seen how much his uncle cared about him and that he probably left his poor uncle with a life of guilt, like what he was left with after Jesse's death, for letting him take the boat out. I was unsure why a buoyancy device would be missing. Are we talking a life preserver? What would the purpose be if he wanted to die. Sick me is wondering how he did it. Sick I know. :) It was a sad, sad tale. Sad that support and love may have made the difference between his living. He couldn't see past his pain and maybe an adult could have made a difference. I wish we could have seen the funeral or the parents being told and hope they were destroyed by what they'd been like. But, they were so narcisistic that they probably were angry at him for how it affected them. I am appreciative you put the HEA there. It helped a bit. lol The story was really well-written. The use of the songs was very poignant and really added to the emotions created. I hope your next story will be more cheerful please! I have to go read something happy so I can sleep. lol.

A buoyancy control device is a weighted belt used to help divers descend to the bottom of the ocean.

I have never read any of these other author's stories before but will have to check them out. What this chapter reminded me of was Tranverse's stories, particularly Dark Thunder.

All I can say is AMAZING. So sad but beautiful.

Still crying but exactly as anon said AMAZING sad yes but beautiful and so heart wrenching I am glad they are at peace together

You have every right to write your vision but I just can't. Reality is reality but this one was too sad and horrible for me. You made me get attached to these characters and it's like I lost someone. Part of me resents you doing that to me but that is also a good sign of your storytelling ability. I need to take a break from this. I continue to admire you as a writer.

So sad and beautiful. The one thing that bothers me is that Shane's parents never got their comeupance. Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to parents, but I think they are too selfish to let it affect them for long, except for the sympathy that I'm sure they'll milk. Cynical, yes, but realistic. Ah, well. At least Shane and Jesse are together and happy.

I hated it and I loved it all at the same time. I was sad at the deaths but elated that they ended together. Shane was broken in many ways...Jesse was his salvation.

I'll tell you, I was really sweating bullets with the end of this story. wondering if it was too dark. I so appreciate your kind comments and that you didn't hate it.

As for those of you wanting some kind of retribution for Shane's parents, i already foresaw that but didn't put it in the story because I thought it would have been too melodramatic and long.

Shane left a letter on board the boat in which he asked to be buried next to Jesse. His parents try to refuse but Carl, Jillian and Jesse's family argue with them until they give in. Jillian breaks up with Ken, Shane's dad, over his harsh, unloving ways. Carl, who feels very guilty for not standing up for Shane to his mother and father, not noticing how deep his depression was and letting him use the boat, never speaks to his sister again. Whit, who had a soft spot for his stepson but had agreed years earlier to let Lisa be in charge of his parenting, is also highly critical of his wife and they almost divorce over it.

Again, thank you very much for the love you have shown the boys.

I lost my best friend (not lover) a few years ago to death and Shane's anguish was all too real. The every day lost and choking feeling, you captured so well the wanting to forget (the few moments of peace in morning before it comes rushing back) and the clinging to every scrap of remembrance. The story was stronger without the epilogue, but I never resent a happy ending. Thank you.

What a beautiful story, but life has too much sadness as it is. I wish there was a warning system so I could avoid non-HEA.

how I could not? But I didn't figure on this. Yes, I was still expecting eventually an earthbound HEA - we all do!

I'm feeling a bit drained now after reading this chapter. You are a good writer, but they way you made me cry throughout this chapter really spells it out for me - how much I had committed myself to Shane and Jesse within a fairly small amount of chapters. I feel heartbroken for them both.

I think some others have said that Shane's parents didn't get their comeuppance... well I sincerely hope that they did, by his death. I'm not sure I can quite believe that however.

Kudos Cliffgirl! Yes it was dark, but it's fiction and sometimes its good to have a real cry and feel miserable at fiction. That's what 'tragedy' is all about - where would Romeo and Juliet be without that ending? And at the end of the day it's all about prejudice. This is the reality that some people are facing, and I hope that this story maybe highlights that in some way.

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I bawled my eyes out after Jesse's death, but I was actually at peace about Shane's suicide. It was not surprising when you switched over to the coast guard speaking of the ship being empty. In the end it was a lovely piece of writing. It brought out all to clearly the things that do happen and the hate that is still all to prevelent in this world. I liked that you added the comment of the family's reactions after. Oh how many times I just wanted to hit both his parents for their worthless thoughts and actions or lack therof. Thank you for writing a wonderful piece of fiction.

Oh-my-God. You know I adore your writing. You know I admire how you tap in so expertly to the nuances of your characters' developing relationships. But why this ending? I guess I'm in the minority here, but its breaking the golden rule of erotic fiction -- we need happy endings. The world needs happy endings. There's too much darkness going on, across the planet. Let there be some beauty and some joy, at least, in creative and artistic endeavour. I found this final installment deeply upsetting, because I had connected with Jesse and Shane, and I did that from the excellence of your writing. I'm not advocating a Pollyanna approach to writing, erotic or otherwise, truly I'm not; I'd be the last writer to advocate such, considering what I put Amadis and Will through. But I never deviated from the main goal; that there would be happiness for them at the end, after the trials and after the pain and heartache. Otherwise, I felt that a tragic end would have been more for effect than being true to their characters. I'm being presumptuous, I realise; they're your characters, it's your story, and as a writer you must do as you feel is right. I understand there is a mirroring here of real life, and the tragedy of suicide cuts through the soul. In this complicated and beautiful old world, and however writers choose to end their stories, love does and always will remain the strongest force for change. I applaud your courage as a writer.

I can't believe you did this to Jesse and Shane. This was such a good story and I loved them. It so reminds me of Gweall's Wings of Gray story, and he had to put up an alternate ending. I think you should consider doing that too.

I could see where it was going and cried non-stop while I read most of the chapter. It merely reflects reality: the high rate of suicide among gay teens, as they lack the support network that other teens have. Shane tried to move on by getting away from the memories, but his mother wouldn't let him go home.

I didn't need a lot more story about his parents, but I would have appreciated a scene with each of them. I think his father might be stunned at how his life has turned around, with his son dead and his girlfriend gone. The mother...well, I can't say the words I really want to use for this narcissistic bitch. It's enough to say that she wouldn't be moved one iota by the death of her only son.

At first I couldn't believe that he was gone, but the reality of this situation is this happens too often to be ignored. Thank you for writing such an emotionally captivating story, and I know some readers might dislike your choice but I personally couldn't criticise your beautiful writing. Hardest I've ever cried over a story, well done.. x

A truly stunningly beautifully written story,but how could you do that to them.There should have been a happy ending after all they had been through,but i suppose it reflects on real-life today.It moved me to tears.

I love your writing, but I hate how this story ended. I know it reflects real life and I'd hazard a guess that it's a nod to Emery and Kendal, but if I want reality I'll turn on the news. Having Jesse die like that was an unpleasant shock and a bit of a turn off.

I come here to escape real life for a while and so I won't be reading this story again.

In the future, it would be nice to see a warning about Major Character Death. That way, those of us who don't like to read such things will be able to skip the story altogether.

Aside from the sadness of the plot, I wanted to commend you on your awesome use of song lyrics throughout the end of the story. You tied them in perfectly.

Damm this was a masterpiece...I am still impressed by it, few things move me to tears and this one nearly managed to do it, though part of me was at peace with the ending, it was a masterful tragedy, and the HEA was amazing, it makes this story even more tragic....the coast guard cutter scene was just too much for me, the tragedy and the continuation of life....despite tragic losses life goes on...We became emotionally invested on shane and jessie and to lose them, and realize that life goes on with out them was a lot, and thats why many of us were distressed, we needed to close that circle to know that life is beautiful and those two would have been happy, so that we could see our own life with renewed hope.

I have to agree with dlew...this was not kind. I do think this ending was "for you," paying homage. But I implore you and other writers to dream better and dream bigger for our boys. Perhaps in a while, you will feel able to write an alternate ending, where the likes of Mitchell and Mark and Shane's parents get theirs. Or get nothing, and the boys just find a way to be, and to be happy.

I admire your writing, but this was uncalled for on lit, where many of us try to escape from the reality of gay stabbings. Unfortunately, the HEA in the afterlife was too short and too vague to dry my tears. It's your story, I won't rate.

Thank you for the "epilogue" on what happened after The End. I do agree that the punch the story had by ending where it did might have been diminished by adding onto the story. It is nice to know, though. Thank you again.

This is just depressing.....

I knew something bad was going to happen but I didn't expect this... I thought Jesse might get hurt but killed was not on my radar..... I thought they would survive and come out stronger at the end.

Cliff, you are an amazing writer and I love the stories you write but give us a heads up if there is no HEA. I read to escape the real world,not experience it in writing after I have gotten to love the characters.

Not trying to upset you or anything....just very sad right now...

I feel like you threw my heart in a blender and hit puree. Loved this story, Thank you for writing it. I agree it's really sad but life isn't always pretty, evil actions sometimes destroy happy ever afters and we are left to deal with the aftermath as best we can. Once again THANK YOU for this story, you are AMAZING.

I agree with several of your readers. You need to do an alternate ending with an HEA.

I'm rarely moved enough by a story to leave a comment. This is a beautiful story and I for one love the ending. I'm still crying

Oh this is such a beautifully sad story. It mada me cry it showed some very deep emotion that jut breaks your heart but makes you fall in love with it. I applaud you for making this story and making it feel so real.truly a great story.

I liked the story & how it ended it was dark but real. I wish Shane hadn't killed himself though cause it wasn't anyones fault but Mitchell. He's so young & yes he loved Jesse but honestly he had his whole life ahead of him & he threw it away even before the murder. I mean give up scholarships to go to community college if their love was so strong they would've made it as a long distance couple. For him to kill himself I'm like yeah you loved him but eventually you'll move on, not saying he'll forget about Jesse but he'll move on & probably fall in love again. It just showed how weak he was in my eyes first for caring what people or his parents thought while Jesse was alive to him committing suicide. It was a bitch move. I didn't like the epilogue if anything I would have rather read what happened to his awful family. The ending was real & even though I didn't like the suicide bit or the afterlife part I loved this story. Kudos to you because your a damn good writer.

Yes, Bambi Doe, but that's what happens a lot with young people. Shane is a teenager and like many his age, ruled by emotion. Rejected by his parents he built his whole life around Jesse. When he lost him, he lost everything.

It took a while to sink in...Jesse was dead! I couldn't believe it, it was just so wrong, so sad. It was great read though, and it did have a HEA...for the boys. What's better than forever?

It was a great story, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to read it. Thank you

I'm literally sobbing and my nephew just asked me why I am crying. Beautiful story. After Jesse's death was announced I felt like I needed closure. Then Shane's death...I really started crying...I had to really take a moment. But then I felt closure at the end with the boys in Heaven or Paradise or whatever we call it. Lovely story. Gosh I have eyeliner and mascara all over my cheeks and hands now.

I was listening to a song called Melancholy Morning by Jon Bongiornio when the last stretch of Shane's life was told..I couldn't cry. The music did that for me. Such a wonderful, heartrending story. I really would love to know what the mom and dsd's reaction to this with all their self righteousness....

*lifts glass of wine in honor of this story.

What a beautiful and tragic story. I can totally relate to the characters, especially Shane. You did a great job with the intricacies of young love. I think many of us have experienced the misunderstanding and hate that tends to accompany our lifestyle. I often wonder if people really understand that we haven't made a choice, this is just how we were made. Why would anyone knowingly "choose" a lifestyle that made them a target of hate and abuse?

Anyway, climbing down off my soapbox now. The story was well written and I enjoyed each chapter. Thank you for sharing!!

Bird_Man_RN

...

It's so sad and beautiful at the same time! I am crying as I type because we still have so much hate and intolerance in the world. Why can't we be allowed to be who we are meant to be and love who we are meant to love without judgement and condemnation? And Shane's parents?! Parents should love their kids and support them..........NO MATTER WHAT!

You are such a fabulous writer to envoke so many emotions from one story....keep up the good work!

This had me sobbing! You crafted a tale that drew me in and held me captivated. And then they DIED!! Damn that was a sad turn of events. Sadder still because I'd imagine some other couple has lived this in real life.

Thank you for reminding us that RIGHT NOW is the only moment of our future tht we are assured of--and that we need to make sure that those we love know how much we love them NOW.

I wonder my fellow readers, how many of us are making the effort to reach out to those like Shane who are adrift -- what would it hurt us to offer a smile or a show of kindness that might be the only one they get that day?

One last thought, I REALLY wish Shane had lived long enough to be picking out his parents' nursing homes! What total friggin vaccuous wastes of oxygen. May Karma kick their asses!

I look forward to your next submission -- though one without angst or the main characters being beaten to a pulp would be nice...

A sad happy ending

Okay so I actually had years I. My eyes reading this chapter. I was hoping for a supernatural ending so thank you for the reprieve from the bleakness. I loved it!! Keep writing.

that is really all that needs to be said.

And I loved this one more. It seemed more true to the characters. It's a sad ending but unfortunately, it happens.

did not think i could cry twice but i did i was like bawling like a baby thank you for writing this story..because sometimes its not roses and scented candles with rosy endings for everyone so thank you.love nix

I read all six chapters but this is the one I want to comment on. You nailed it 100% with the music you used. Sometimes song lyrics are a distraction in a story but the way you tied them in with what Shane was thinking was brilliant. Thanks also for your comment about what happened to the parents and uncle after Shane's suicide, but I want to know about his sisters. They were the reason Shane was exiled from home in the first place.

You are a great writer, and if this is how you choose to end the story don't let anyone tell you any different. I am not even going to read #6 because this is where you wanted it to end. I am unable to come with the words that express my feeling as tears are rolling down my face. You threw me for a loop, then wrenched out my heart and set it ablaze. I hope the rest of your writing is this inspired and moving.

I finally got what disturbs me the most about this ending (apart from the obvious "death theme"): it's how you wrote it. The entire story is told in first person by Shane using the past, when you came to tell us Shane is missing you abruptly changed to third person for the first time in the story and revealed us Shane's likely dead, then there's the damn afterlife scene who crushes all hopes of those who may have thought Shane just decided to cut ties with everyone and get away from a family who didn't love him and a place that kept reminding him o his lost love and start his life away from there, in which you return to the first person.

By using the first person, you assured us, on a subconscious level, that Shane would be alive at the end of the story, since he's telling it: there must have been a moment in his later life where he sat down in front of us and told us his story. This doesn't happen, because he died, and how did you tell us this? Using an "impersonal" (compared to the intimate and emotional first-person tale) third person dialogue between two characters we don't know and never heard about until then, and the moment you return to the first person in a last attempt to give us a last consolation, he's in the afterlife reunited with his soul mate. Better, but not quite after the shock of the previous part.

I think that was a sneaky move from your part: the way you told us this whole story makes the ending not only unexpected (ok, from how things were going for Shane and the stalker thing I wasn't expecting a perfect happy ending, but I certainly didn't expect that /both/ characters would have died), but the way you told us Shane drowned himself is so cold and impersonal, the same way the police should have told Shane's father his son was missing at sea, most likely dead.

Honestly, I don't know if applaud your stylistic choices or hating you for making them... :D

I hope to read more of your stories soon.

I've read some tear jerking stories, filled with amazing emotion and tragedy but this has to be one of the two most sad and yet amazing endings I've ever read. A Dragon's Pride by DKStories and this. I had to go get a paper towel to wipe my eyes I cried so much. You write so eloquently and so inspiringly.

Yuh made me cry twice but i love your writing contiue

I have to admit, after reading chapter 4 and the warning at the end, I went straight to chapter 6, cause I just couldnt handle anything but a HEA, but after reading chapter 6, I read the comments, and all of them said chapter 5 was better, so I just HAD to read it.

After reading it, I have to admit that, although I hate the fact that both boys had to die, this ending was more realistic, more beutiful in a tragic sort of way, and though I cried more than once while reading it, it was the right ending for this story, and the more logical ending after everything we knew about the threats, and Shane's parents' rejection.

If you read this story with the chapter 6 ending, it's a sweet story about young love, but with this ending, it's tragic, realistic, and kind of poetic. This story has definitely become one of my favorites and I hope you keep writing, because you are very talented.

Loved the story. Congrats!

I loved this story and am shattered it ended this way.

Just shattered.

I did read your warning but wanted to see what happened.

Now off to read chapter 6

I appreciate the fact that this dear author took the time to provide 2 endings to this wonderful story.....grim as this ending was, this author dared to go there and explained to us....the dark side of love and how far things can really get....

ch.5 kinda of hit home for me....

..........now onwards to ch.6!

As a author of darker stories a appreciated this ending. It's true that not all stories have a happy ending. This story honestly had me crying. It takes a lot to write an ending such as this. This is one of the best stories I have read in the longest time. I honestly feel this story should be published. I have not read the alternate ending and I'm not sure I will. I know I should weird. But I just can't say enough about this story, except I will be telling all my friends about it! Major props!

Much love!

CE300

I hate unhappy endings with a passion thy suck but I have to say I really liked this story and even the ending it was "real" so to speak and even though the ending was sad it was unforgettable

I HAD to read the alternate ending, just to see if it fit the story. And what I learned only slightly shocked me. The original ending is the best. Yes, it's sad and depressing, but it's REAL. To misquote whomever said this, sometimes bad things happen to good people, and we have to face those realities.

I definitely agree that this story needs to be published. This story was the most real, heartbreaking story I have ever read. I am feeling everything Shane is feeling and while I am deverstated about Jesse, I personally feel as if reading this and connecting the way I have to your story has been such a special experience that you need to publish this so many many more can experience it just as I have.

Well done!

Who are you people to demand a happy ending or demand a warning when you won’t get the ending YOU want? How entitled and hyper sensitive. Not that it matters —there IS a warning

you should never apologise for a sad ending. I like many fans love a HEA ending. But life is not like that, so good on you for making me cry.

The book was cute.

Yes I WAS ready to whoop yo ass for killing my baby.

Yes, I did get the same BrokeBack Mountain vibes.

Yes, I was crying at the funeral with Shane.

But over all it was a cute book. Not allot of stories go into detail about characters on here. Its usually VERY generic.

Its not perfect and there's definitely stuff to be worked on.

But it earns it's high rating.

We stan character development!!!

O man how you pulled me in I felt I was in the story then when hell broke loose i was angry, heart broken I knew what was coming but I kept reading even though it brought pain 💔 from the past of someone I will never forget I pray this never happens to anyone but we live 8n a cruel messed up world thanks for the emotions and keeping us alive and softening peoples hearts

The afterlife scene was a disservice to the story, offering a false triumph.

The author lacked the courage of her convictions, failed the truth.

Author, I sincerely appreciate your advance warnings about the upcoming tragedy & your offering a more appropriate ending.

Let us not kid ourselves--the stories on this site, no matter how well-written the plots or characters may be, are word porn. Seriously . . . your readers are choosing to read a story where a slutty bi guy suddenly transforms into a faithful gay boyfriend wholeheartedly choosing a fully monogamous relationship in which prostates are always located immediately, anal sex only"pinches" & the pain of penetration melts quickly into only orgasmic bliss.

Why on earth would you think we would suddenly want depressing realism?

LOL, keep writing!

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