All Comments on 'Call Out Your Name Ch. 06'

I'm a sucker for HEA, so I appreciate this rewrite. However, the original end was so strong and made such a statement about our society that a large part of me prefers that. While many people do read the site for pleasure only, and there are times I do, there are just as many that don't mind being made to think. In my mind, there's a definite place for both endings.

Thank you. i think your first ending was stronger but I appreciate your attempt to appease the ones who didn't like that Jesse and Shane died.

I don't comment often on a story but I will here.

That you had to write this upsets me. :-( Not at you, clifff. I just wonder how many readers voted your first ending down because, no matter how good the writing, it wasn't what they WANTED to see happen to your main characters.

You shouldn't have to cater to people who whined that they come here for escape and it was wrong of you to make something bad happen to Jesse and Shane and not warn them first. This is your story. You do what you want.

You are a great writer, cliff. Don't doubt your skill.

xTamra

Your first finale was powerful. This is more like cute, I guess. I like how Shane's self confidence in dealing with his former classmates.

Your first ending was much better, even though I hated how the story turned out. This ending shouldn't have been written, it lessens the impact of your first story. Also, it seems to have less care or consideration given to it.

My complaint with your story was not the Way you ended it, but that there was no Warning at the beginning of Ch. 1 that it would not end well. I wouldn't have read the story at all if I saw a note saying something to the effect: 'Dark ending, no HEA for our main characters, character death', etc. I don't read stories like this, no matter who writes them.

Don't change an ending just because some of us didn't like it. But in the future, do put warnings in your story so we know what we're getting into. If you weren't such a good writer, I wouldn't bother writing all of this. I like all your other stories, and I will read similar stories that you write in the future.

Although this was a HEA ending which some people seem to always want, your first ending was soo much more carefully written, demostrating your writing skills and elicting a heart felt reaction from us, your readers. Some of us can identify with the loss of a loved one, to the point where we can barely function, even with a loving support system in our lives. One can only imagine how we would react without loving support or understanding from those around us. Be true to yourself, that's what we ask of you.

Awesome first ending I cried like a baby. But for those who need a HEA u gave them that....a talented author and one who thinks of all the fans well played. Crystal

This was in no way bad, but it didn't feel like it was a story that needed to be told. The other ending felt like it had a life of its own, but this was just a sweet little piece of imagination. I think I could have really liked it, if I wasn't comparing it to the raw passion you gave before.

I also liked your first ending better but this was nice too. In both, Jesse gave Shane the strength he needed to make his way through life. Without his asshole parents who don't deserve such a fine son. You would hope they would wake up and see what they have lost but they're too narcissistic. Their loss is Carl and Elaine's gain.

Maybe it's my curiosity but I wonder what Shane's stepfather and sisters think about all this. Especialy the sisters. If Shane killed himself they would share some blame because there the ones who told their Mom about him and Owen in the first place.

I enjoyed this ending, but I loved the original. It was so beautifully written that it made me cry. I understand that you wanted to please your fans but you turned a great story into a good story.

Although this version is still a perfect happily ever after, the other version brought such strong emotions out of because it was so perfectly written I didn't feel this was necessary. It's really nice of you to do a separate version for your readers though, and I respect that.

Congrats on 2 amazing endings to a perfect story.

Thank you,the original ending was so sad it made me cry.

So, which college did Shane end up with? Did he get scholarship to get to one of his unis or local city college?

I love these two and while I do love that this chapter could bring on a sequel with these two the true final chapter was by far better. The emotion showed last time was just amazing and while I understand people wanting a happily ever after I agree with what you said in the beginning, life does not always have a happily ever after.

Either way it was another well written chapter and I still love your work!

Both made me cry for different reasons. The original because it was so sad. The alternate tears of joy because it gave Shane and Jessie the Happy ending they deserved. Realize that the original ending is how things sometimes end up in real life.

I liked both endings but I must say I loved the first one best. It is true there is not always a HEA but how you finished was sad, but beautiful. You are a great writer no matter what

They both go to college, become extremely successful in careers they love. They become stupid rich celebrities & the trifling parents & evil twin sisters all try to get back in their good graces only to be publically humiliated & eventually shunned by their so called friends because of the way they treated Shane & disrespected Jesse. to Oh, aunt & uncle are invited to every red carpet & his boat business is thriving & making so much money that he has people to run it while they sail the Hawaiian Island!

Yeah...that should cover it! Lol!

Seriously, the story was excellent and although I am a fan of HEA, I can appreciate & respect good work. Your writing is just that...GOOD WORK!

The first ending had me crying like a baby but it rung true. This one, well I still cried but a little less. Great story either way. I have a crush on Jesse though.

Sylvia

I got really sad for many days after reading the original ending, and that just shows your prowess in writing and you are very effective in evoking our emotions, When I read further I saw the afterlife HEA and that made me happy. But knowing that you wrote an alternate ending with a full blown HEA it made me even happier. Thank you :)

Sorry, but I didn't like this alternative ending, it felt contrived and unrealistic. Especially the part about the principal and police taking the stalker notes so seriously. When you think about how many women are stalked by their former boyfriends /husbands and often hurt or killed by them and how little protection they get from the police or other authorities (and I'm talking Europe now, but is US any different?), it seems very unlikely that just vaguely threathening notes would elicit this reaction.

Your original ending, while tragic, was stronger and more logical, and I had no problem with Shane following Jesse into death.

But I think you are a kind writer to do this for all your sentimental fans.

First, I want to congratulate and thank you for a good story (in both versions) and reassure you: for every "I liked the other better" feedback here I'm sure there's an untold sigh of relief which was a "WHY YOU KILLED THEM?" feedback on the other story. ;) I have noticed something, though.

I liked this story, and the original ending made me sick, (mostly because I didn't see the need to "kill" Shane as well if not to get his parents a retribution of sorts which would have made no sense to tell since the whole story was told in first person from Shane's POV - and yes, I read the comments of chapter 5 in which you told us about the aftermath of the original ending - but that's an issue I have, not your story) and yes, this version of the ending is "good" but it feels... "artificial", it shows this wasn't the way the story was meant to end. I understand your need to give us readers what we like (and I thank you for this, as a writer myself I'm not sure I would have done that), but if I were you I'd have given myself more time to think it over and find maybe a better turning point or a different way to solve things to avoid Jesse (and consequently Shane's) death. This feels too much as everything falls into pieces "too easily", it's hard to consider it a "legitimate" ending after having read the other. It reminded me of "Sliding Doors": Helen lost the train the first time, and that's the true story. The alternative life, despite being better, was not real. I'd just have thought this over a little more, that's it. For the rest, this was a really good story, keep up good writing. ;)

I enjoyed this very much too. It was nice and I appreciated it, but shockingly to even myself, I thought the first ending was great too. Like I said before, I usually am a HEA type. I read as an escape and I don't want to be depressed after. Moreso, it occurred to me, just a thought popping up as I read the first, that Shane would be happier in 'heaven' (which I can tell myself definitely exists, with rainbows and constant nice weather and wings if we're lucky-- hah-- in a story, though we have no such confirmation in life) with Jesse. So, it didn't bother me when a paragraph or two later he did just that. Usually, I would have expected I'd be disappointed with that ending. I cried, and was sad it had to be that way, but it felt real. I think you were very successful in that you got such emotional feedback. What more can a writer want than to get people so invested in characters that they react that way!

As for the Timothy below saying schools and police would react...I am sure that there are some where they would, especially being that so many were received and some were death threats. He is right that sadly, many don't get support and do die. I'm dealing with watching my sister openly help her abused friend who moved out from an abuser and I am scared with the guy being across the street while my sister ignores my concerns. I have no problem with her helping but do it without the guy knowing. That is off topic but his comments and the story only served to make me feel more supported in that fear.

It was also incredibly sad that his parents were such assholes. Wow, were they or what? I am sure that is something more people deal with than we know. I think you did a nice job on this. It was kinda cool to have both, but don't think you should feel at all badly about the first version and am glad you said you stood by it.

I still stand by my belief that there is indeed tragedy in this world but also much to be thankful and joyful about; I believe this outweighs the tragedy. That's why in stories, for me, both can co-exist to reflect degrees of reality, but that the ending be life affirming and beautiful, after the heart ache that has been experienced. That being said, you're right, absolutely right to stand by your writing and the direction of your stories. Writers should be true to themselves, and when they are, it reflects in the writing so clearly. I loved this ending, and I love your stories. Thank you.

I don't know how to feel about this one. I liked the other version it was more real. Even though I didn't like the whole suicide bit because I think its a bitch move & taking the sucker's way out instead of being strong & dealing with your problems. It was realistic & that's what I liked about the other ending. I didn't like the afterworld epilogue & I don't know what to think about this alternate ending since I read the first one. I like HEA as much as the next person but I felt the first one was better cause it was you're original version not one you created because people can't handle a tragedy. Especially when it happens in work from people like Shakespeare & happens unfortunately in real life.

I agree with Timothy about you being a kind writer to do this for your readers. I can only imagine the pressure you must've felt from all the negative feedback you got from the first ending. That said, while the first ending made me cry, and I was miserable, I applauded your bravery in writing that story the way you felt it should be done. If it felt right to you to end it with the two deaths, so be it. This ending was more suitable based on other stories in this vein on Lit, but the first ending was more real, more challenging, and interestingly enough, more satisfying. Our society can be cruel. Some people shouldn't be parents. Mentally ill people sometimes snap and lash out. Kudos to you for pushing yourself as a writer, and your efforts to please everyone are appreciated. Remember: No matter what you produce people will criticize it, so write for YOURSELF.

It really was kind of you to write an alternate ending. The original isn't bad or anything, just extremely sad. I'll admit I cried! This one was happier but like others have said the first one was pretty real. Your writing became more natural the further into the story you got which was nice. I think the first chapter or two need some love now that your writing has matured with the characters. I am glad we got a happy ending too though, the original was abrupt and tragic although I realize that was intentional. So thank you, and I'm sorry if people were angry with you about your first ending. That was the way you wanted to end it, and we may not have to like it but it should still be respected. It wasn't unreasonable, and it fit well with the personalities you built.

nice work!

congratulation.

its really kind of you to write an alternative ending for the readers sake. But i think the original ending is crafted more creatively.

cant wait for your next work.

-stan o.

I liked both endings. The first one was edgier with a realistic outcome since Jesse ignored the danger around him. Stalkers sometimes kill their prey.

This one made just as much sense. Even the detailed investigation rings true since I live in a small town and our police force would hop on this just to alleviate the boredom. The way Shane finally comes out to his former friends and identifies himself as gay for his boyfriend made it a winnner.

I would like to know what happens to Shane's family in both situations.

I don't know how I missed the posting of this. I am so grateful to have this alternate view. The original has not left me, and I appreciate your taking the time to create an alternate reality. I breathed sighs of relief when the boys handed over the notes, and when Mitchell dropped the knife; and cried when Shane finally moved out. Thank you.

Both endings seem workable and believable. Almost as if you're saying "This is what could have happened if...." I like to go with the alternate ending, and bring the story forward, to where Shane and Jesse finish the two year community college, and Shane is accepted at a four-year university. Jesse moves with him, and they are able to share living quarters. In their growing up, Jesse's black swirls of chest hair thicken into a good healthy hairy chest, and Shane's "blonde" hairy chest grows out nice and thick across his upper chest and down the treasure trail to his pubes.

Kudos to Uncle Carl and Aunt Elaine, to Sandra and Chad and grandpa for their support, and shame on Ken and Lisa for their homophobia. Shane and Jesse deserve every good thing that comes to them. and they have the healthy love and concern and affection for each other. That's what makes the story work!

I really liked both endings. The first one was llike the remake of the titanic don't knowwhat made me think of this but it does. And I liked the second one too. It showed the love and how much they would do for eachother.

I literally BAWLED, while my chest constricted when I read the initial ending. I was like "oh HELL no this can't be happening!" I think they deserved the HAPPY ENDING. I am glad you gave it to them. I would have loved to have seen another chapter showing us their future..........like life in college and them getting married and adopting kids. It's like I don't want to see them go. These two are special.

Just re-read both endings and I have to say that either one works as an ending to the story. I like both but tip towards the original because that's the way you first wrote it. Thank you for the effort you put into this alternate ending.

I bawled my brains out when I read the original ending. It was very good, and while it did have its own sort of happy ending, it was still so ridiculously tragic that I had to come read this one just to make myself feel better. I sort of would have liked if Jesse was still attacked in this story, the only difference being that he survived. It would have felt more realistic than the whole right place, right time, Shane-is-a-hero aspect. But either way, my stomach is no longer clenching in sadness, so I'm relieved. Great read!!

literally the best story I have read off this site please consider writing more on these characters, their is still room for more beautiful stories. Thank you for this amazing gift and amazing characters.

Thank you for a truly beautiful story. I couldn't find the original ending, but I'm a "happily ever after" kind of guy, so it's just as well. What is the chance of two more chapters. Thank you for the story.

I did enjoy the other one too but this is more my style...sappy but hapy ;)

It all was to real for me.... I cried so much when Jesse died well both endings was so great.... I just want to thanks u for writing this I love it

From: Oblivion

Both endings sucked! Lol no no they didn't both worked to tie up loose ends, I think a middle ground could be reached though, using both endings but no one dies.

Jesse still gets attacked and badly beaten ending in a coma, Shane falls to pieces and his dad finds out he's gay and kicks him out, he moves in which his uncle. Jesse comes out of the coma and doesn't remember Shane and they have start again.

More believable than the second ending but not as grim as the first :D but it was a heartwrentching story that was well told whatever the ending!

I really loved this story the first ending had me crying like a baby, OMG you took us into the pain Shane was going through. I so love him and Jesse together but as sad as the first ending was I liked it better don't get me wrong I hated that you ended it the way you did but it felt real where as the second ending felt fluffed. I would love if you wrote a chapter or two of them ten years later, their own family,loving each other,work,holidays and do they still go on the boat to celebrate their anniversary, what happened to Shane's bitch of parents.

It was a gr8 alternate ending.....

and i have an appreciation for both endings.....

Thank you, dear author.....for sharing your story with us!

I really enjoyed both endings. I think we are always going to be rooting for the HEA but as some others have said I think I found the first ending more raw and real. They were both well written though and I think that despite the first ending feeling more real for me, when I think about Shane & Jesse I will picture their future together rather than the tragedy.

Why do you delete some of your stories? I loved Crushing on Justin :(

I was just re-reading some of my fave stories and saw these comments. SO, I thought I'd pass this along.... this author passes away a couple of years ago. Great talent and a really sweet person.So.please be kind.

I love this ending better even though the other one was good to great job

.

Yet it lacks something. I wish you would write an epilogue for this ending that would allow the readers to know the boys stayed together forever. Maybe a wedding in five years once college is done. Please.

Please read what secretsides has written. The author is no longer here. These stories though are a wonderful legacy to leave and will provide enjoyment for many years to come.

Regardless you are a great writer! For me personally when I sit down and read these its because I'm lonely, I'm sad, or I'm not having or getting something in my real life I need. Had known how the original ending went I would have never read it. People read these for different reasons and I read them when I need a pick-me-up. So I wanted to thank you for the alternate ending. I know that there are many stories out there that end sadly, so it's always great when you can sit down and get involved in a world that leaves you walking away in a better State of Mind than when you came to it. That's what your alternate ending did for me. I would never expect an author to change their stories based on my opinion nor would I stiffle an author's creativity and voice. The fact that you went back and made changes I know may upset people thinking that you've done just when I said I would never expect you to do; but it shows you care about your fans and your readers. As a reader, who turns to this for what I would suspect to be different reasons than the norm, I can't thank you enough. It's also important to remind people being effect their actions will have on others and even in life differently outcomes can be if we don't stop to think. Thanks again for the change!!

But you can read more of her wonderful stories at her blogspot. She kept writing right up until the time of her death.

I loved every chapter, thankyou so much for posting and writing this , wonderful

My favorite part was when the police men asked if it was talking about Shane

And shane said

"YES, he's MY boy"

Bitch, THAT was cute, THAT WAS CUTE!!!

IM content with yur original story thou. Not everything happens the way we want. And not EVERYONE likes to see that picture.

But I appreciate the Alternate. They both still live happily ever after never the less.

Even if real life doesnt give you the opportunity to choose which ending would be prefered.

Isnt it the small thinks in life that make big changes...

It looks so bad, that his dad kicked him, but it saved the life of his love.

So for me its nice to think, that even bad things happen, it could be for the good...

“The wish is father to the thought.”

This is a dream ending, as unreal as it is beautiful.

Author, I sincerely appreciate your advance warnings about the upcoming tragedy & your offering a more appropriate ending.

Let us not kid ourselves--the stories on this site, no matter how well-written the plots or characters may be, are word porn. Seriously . . . your readers are choosing to read a story where a slutty bi guy suddenly transforms into a faithful gay boyfriend wholeheartedly choosing a fully monogamous relationship in which prostates are always located immediately, anal sex only"pinches" & the pain of penetration melts quickly into only orgasmic bliss.

Why on earth would you think we would suddenly want depressing realism?

LOL, keep writing!