Calm Ch. 07

"Really?"

Matthew slipped his hand in Ellie's hair and pulled her closer. In a soft voice he said, "Really. We can start right now if you want."

Ellie grabbed his shirt with both hands, and he felt her tension as she struggled to say yes. Matthew brought her lips to his for a kiss. He didn't stop kissing until he felt the tension leave her hands. They broke apart for air and he said, "Just relax, Ellie. I'll stop the moment I think you're not enjoying yourself anymore."

Matthew slid the tips of his fingers along her sensitive sides, and he saw goose bumps on Ellie's skin. She shivered as he made his slow way down. She knew where his hands were going. Her body thought it knew what he was going to do. It thought wrong. He didn't spread her cheeks and shove a finger up her ass to get her ready in a hurry. Instead he kept up his gentle caresses.

He kissed the delicate skin above her collar bone. His hands kept exploring the perfect curve of her ass. Her cheeks were firm and soft under his hands. Ellie moaned softly when he dragged his nails across her cheeks. Not hard, but with just enough force to be different from the playful dance his fingertips danced on her skin. "Put your arms around my neck and lean back, Ellie."

She leaned back, cutting off his access to her ass, but that was fine for now. Matthew kissed his way down along her collar bone and slowed as he got to the secret spot between her breasts. He heard Ellie's breath speed up as he edged closer to it, and she moaned in protest when he took a turn and instead took one of her nipples between his lips.

His hands had now reached her chest as well, leaving tingling skin in their wake. Ellie's body was waking up. The tips of Matthew's fingers brushed the underside of Ellie's breasts, and she let out a strangled moan when he gently bit her nipple at the same time. Her nails dug into his neck as his fingers kept up their exploring and finally brushed the spot between her breasts.

Ellie rolled her hips in his lap as his soft touches fanned her excitement higher. Matthew inwardly smiled. It was time. He pulled back from her breast and said, "Ellie, do you want me to show how amazing your ass can make you feel?"

His hands weren't still, and pleasure still coursed through her body, but his soft question still made Ellie's desire waver. Was it time to do that again? What if it hurt with him too? She didn't want to hurt. Didn't want to remember. Matthew saw her beautiful face cloud over, and he cupped her cheek.

Before Ellie realized he'd moved, Matthew had brought her mouth to his and kissed her with a passion that surprised her. His body pushed hers backwards until she lay down on the bed, with her hands around his neck and lost in returning his kiss. When Matthew pushed himself up, the hunger in Ellie's eyes had returned full force. He looked down in her eyes and smiled. "Try and relax, and I'll do the rest. You can stay like this, no problem."

Ellie looked up at her lover, and Matthew saw she both wanted and didn't want what was about to happen. One wrong move, and she'd shatter in his hands. If he didn't convince he'd spoken the truth, she'd pull back from him, and who knew how long it would take her to reach out again? Matthew couldn't worry about her demons though. The only thing he had to focus on was muddling her brain so much she couldn't worry anymore.

Matthew lowered himself along Ellie's body and left a trail of kisses in his wake. He lingered here and there, never for long, always teasing. A kiss on her collar bone. A playful dance of his tongue across her stiff nipple while he rolled its twin between his fingers. Onwards again. His mouth found her belly button as his hands played along her sides, edging close to her breasts, but never giving Ellie more than a teasing brush.

When he made it to her pussy, Matthew let his hands glide down along her flat stomach. The living satin of her skin was entrancing, and he couldn't get enough of it. Her inner thighs were if possible even softer. He ran his hands down until he reached her knees and then pushed her legs apart. Ellie's glistening pussy invited him in. He'd done this for her before, but her memories would pale to what he was about to do to her now.

He descended on her tight little pussy and pushed his tongue deep inside. As quick as he'd been to dive in, he pulled back out again so he could pull her lips apart to reveal her pink pussy to him. Quick stabs of his tongue followed, with the occasional long, slow lick with the flat of his tongue. He had no system. He'd fuck her with his tongue and then tease her, switching back and forth with Ellie lost as to what was going to happen. All she knew was that she didn't want him to stop.

Ellie gasped when Matthew started to rub tiny little circles along the edge of her asshole. She grabbed two handfuls of his hair when he locked his lips around her clit and gently massaged it with the stiff tip of his tongue. Her body exploded in orgasm, and Ellie wrapped her legs around Matthew's head. It didn't faze him though. He kept her high on the wave of pleasure crashing through her until she pushed his head away and relaxed her death grip on his head.

"Matthew, that was--"

He looked up from between her legs and smiled. "Shh, I'm not finished. Not even close."

Ellie wanted to answer, but Matthew took that exact moment to run his tongue over her pussy a fraction to the side of her clit. She moaned and grabbed the sheets in her hands. The second time, Matthew wasn't so merciful on Ellie. He kept drifting away from her clit and then coming back again. His finger never left her ass, teasing, rubbing and even pushing in a little bit and wiggling around. Ellie couldn't believe what he was making her feel. Everything blended together in one electric whirlwind. But she couldn't deny her ass was making her feel amazing.

Matthew went in for the kill and pushed two fingers inside Ellie's pussy, while he circled her clit with his tongue. At first he kept them still. Her pussy rippled around his fingers, but still he did nothing with them. Ellie pushed her pussy up against his face, desperate to get him where she wanted him. Pulling or pushing his head wasn't working. Something. Anything. She was so close to exploding. "Oh God!"

Matthew's tongue and fingers suddenly came to frenzied life as they rubbed, licked and flicked as fast as he could manage. He bombarded Ellie with pleasure and soon she rewarded him with a beautiful cry of pleasure. She pulled his hair so hard it hurt, but he couldn't care less. This time he wasn't stopping. He changed up what he was doing, but never slowed down.

Ellie tried to push Matthew to the side, but she couldn't. Her renewed cries of pleasure as another orgasm crashed over her died in her throat as her body convulsed and then curled up. Every muscle she had slaved away to handle the pleasure that blew her mind.

This time Matthew eased off and slowly brought Ellie down from her pleasure. She let go of his hair, and he felt her hands slide down his head and then along her sides until they hit the bed with a gentle thud. He worked his way up the bed and smiled when he saw the sweat on her brow and the bright red flush on her chest and face. "How was that, Ellie?"

She opened her mouth and then shut it again. Her head shook weakly from side to side. Matthew grinned and said, "You didn't enjoy that?"

He laughed at the exasperated look she threw him and bent down to give her a quick kiss. "I enjoyed that very much, Ellie. If you're up to it, then I'd be happy to do it over tonight."

Ellie's eyes widened, and she had to avert her face from his. Matthew took advantage of her move and kissed the side of her throat, he whispered "Ask me, and I'll make you feel like that any time. As many times as you want. Wake me up if I'm asleep, I don't care. I love making you scream like that. Does wonders for a man."

Matthew chuckled when his next kisses lured out a soft moan. Soon he had mercy on her though, and he laid down beside her. Ellie nestled her body against his. She couldn't say the words just yet, but inside a ball of love and gratitude warmed her.

***

The whistle sounded loud and sharp. People turned their heads to see where the noise came from and before they even realized a bunch of girls was being harassed, Tom had made his way to Ellie. He stepped forward and took the guy's wrist in his hand. A simple push in the right spot forced the guy to release Ellie's hand, and Tom twisted his arm to force him on his knees. He looked to the side and asked Ellie, "Are you okay?"

She rubbed her wrist and said, "I'm okay."

He looked over at the two girls Ellie had been hanging out with all day and said, "Get behind me, all three of you."

Big-eyed, the two teens joined Ellie behind Tom just as the guy's friend made a move to do something about his buddy's situation.

"Stop." The tone of Tom's voice made the friend hesitate, and Tom used that moment to grab his hand as well and force him to the ground next to his friend. Guy number one tried to make a break for it and got his arm twisted. He cried out in pain and settled down again.

Tom took a deep breath to calm his fear and anger and said, "Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to let the two of you go. You'll walk away from here, and you'll do your best to not show your faces to these girls again. I promise you, if you try to harass these girls again, I'll be there."

He leaned forward and pulled both of their faces closer. In a quiet voice, he said "I can pop your arm if I want to. Don't tempt me."

Tom stood back up and let go of their hands. They looked up at him with apprehension in their eyes and walked away, rubbing their arms and casting back quick glances as they disappeared along the beach. Tom turned around and took Ellie's hands in his. "You're okay?"

Ellie nodded as he pulled her in for an embrace. He looked over her head at the two girls and said, "How about some ice cream for the three of you?"

They nodded, not sure what to say. Tom let go of Ellie and let her walk with the two girls while he kept his distance. Was this always going to happen? She needed to be more assertive and use the skills she'd learned to defend herself. Tom shook his head and watched the other two girls huddle close to Ellie. A smile came to his face. Not everyone who saw her reacted like an idiot. Ellie had made friends, and they were taking care of her. He wanted to do something to thank them. "Hey, girls. Wait up for a second."

The girls turned around and Tom said, "Is there something besides eating ice cream you'd like to do? I feel like treating the three of you to something fun. I won't go with you, but Ellie's boyfriend should be getting back from the house soon enough. He can go with you."

They looked back at him with a blank expression. Tom laughed and said, "No ideas? Do you like some adventure? There's a beach not far from here where you can rent kite buggies. They give you a quick class and then you can blast across the beach. There are some shops here along the coastline, and I think there's an aquarium or something not too far from here either. Maybe you want some food? It's your call."

The girls huddled together and discussed their options. Tom heard the word shopping a lot at first, but kite popped up more and more as their discussion went on. Finally, after the three of them nodded their agreement to each other, they turned to Tom, and Ellie said "Kite buggies sound great, but we're kind of under-dressed and hungry." She shrugged her shoulders in apology, but the smile on her face didn't make her gesture very convincing.

Tom played along and sighed. "Well, let's start with the food then. Any of you know what's good here? Or should I just let Matthew surprise you? I'll give him some cash. Don't worry about overspending, but don't go overboard either, okay?"

The girls giggled and nodded.

"We'll meet back here in a few minutes after we all grab our stuff." Tom walked away and heard their excited voices behind him. He smiled. Ellie's afternoon wouldn't be spent worrying over what happened. She'd be having a blast instead.

***

Pale morning light wormed its way through the drapes. The day had begun, but it was still shaking off the night. Ellie had woken up hours ago, and she sat on the bed looking down at Matthew. His face was gentle in his sleep, and his soft breathing was the only noise to be heard in the room. The thoughts she'd had, the things she'd felt and experienced on this trip... they all flitted through her mind.

A lover she trusted enough to do this for her, and he'd done it well. Never once had he hurt her. She'd felt in his touches how important it was for him to please her. He'd given her what had always been taken from her in the past. He'd guided her through the hours spent together. His gentle touch had nudged her here and there, until she stumbled on more discoveries.

Today was the last day. Today, she'd say goodbye to the Ellie she'd known. She quietly left the room and made it over to Tom and Ruth's room. The light in their room built over time, and Ellie watched Tom stir in his sleep. He thrashed about a little, letting out soft grunts until he opened his eyes and looked around. Ellie felt his eyes on her, and he frowned. In a blink, he was sitting up with his hand on top of hers and a worried look on his face. "Nightmare?"

Ellie shook her head in silence. She wanted to speak, but the words balled up in her throat. They didn't want to be spoken out loud, in fear of what might happen.

"Ellie?" Tom kept his voice soft and cupped Ellie's cheek in his hand so he could turn her face towards his. "Everything okay?"

Ellie nodded and looked down again. She closed her eyes when Tom kissed the top of her head and said, "Take your time, I'm here."

Her heart pounded in her chest as he put his arms around her. She had to say it now, or she'd never ask. Ellie snapped her head up and blurted out, "Please adopt me, Tom."

Tom's eyes widened in surprise, and he opened his mouth in an attempt to answer, but no words came out. He shut his mouth and ran his hand through his hair. What was he supposed to say here? He didn't know. Did he refuse her? He couldn't really be a father to someone her age. But what would it mean to her if he refused her? Would she think nobody wanted her? What if he said yes? What would that even mean? He didn't know.

Ellie watched the emotions flit across Tom's face. A stab of hurt pierced her gut. Was it such a repellent question? She jumped up from the bed and tried to run away, but Tom's voice stopped her.

"Wait! Wait, don't go away. I... I don't know what to say. Why? Why do you want me to adopt you? I'm not saying no here, I just want to know why."

Ellie turned on her heels and saw how important it was for Tom to have some kind of explanation. Her hurt faded, and she hurried back to the bed so she could wrap herself around him. Tom put his arms around her. Ellie took a deep breath and gathered the courage she drew from his tight embrace. Now. She had to say something. "Tom."

He looked at her and said, "Yes, Ellie?"

"I want you to be my father. I want you and Ruth to be my family. Real family. Please... I want to be adopted."

Tom answered in a soft voice. "But why?"

Ellie took a deep breath and let all her thoughts stream out. "I want to know that what I feel now will always be there. Always. It's all I want. I don't need money. As long as we do things together. You know, family stuff. Like this trip. I want a family, Tom. With a father and mother who care about me. With fun uncles and aunts. Maybe one day I'll have another little brother. It's the most normal thing in the world, a family. I don't want to be an orphan anymore, all alone."

There was such hope in her eyes as Ellie looked up at Tom.

"Wow, Ellie." He put his finger on her lips when she opened her mouth to let out another stream of words. He waited until he was sure she understood he wanted her to be quiet before he took away his finger and ran his hand through his hair again. "I don't know what to say. I care about you. I mean, we took care of you, Ruth and I, and you ended up staying with us far longer than we could've expected. We saw you go through so much. Maybe I should've known it was stupid of me to think you'd stay for a while and then leave and that would be that.

"I love you. Ruth loves you. My friends love you. Ruth and I always think about how you're doing on your own. Are you okay? What if someone hurts you?"

Tom sighed and leaned back in the bed. "I don't want you to walk out of our lives, Ellie. I want to know where you are and with who so I can be at ease. I want you to be happy. And now you're asking me if I want you to be my daughter. I'm not even old enough to be your father. Ruth's younger than I am. Does it have to be like that, Ellie? Can't you just stay close to us and not be a stranger?"

Ellie shook her head, pulled up her knees and wrapped her arms around them. Tom's face was a blur through her tears. "No, Tom. Your apartment is my home now. It's where the people I love live. It's where I'm the happiest. I don't have to live there, but I need to know that I could if I needed to. Please, Tom. I live on my own and study. That's what my scholarship's for. But let me drop in whenever I want to. Let me come home to my mom and dad on Sundays to have dinners. Let me come for Christmas and birthdays. Let it be like that for me. I love Matthew, but he's not my family. It's different."

Tom pulled Ellie towards him and wrapped her back into his arms. She couldn't speak through her sobs anymore. Tom rocked her from side to side, whispering little bits of gibberish into her ear so she could hear his voice and calm down.

When her sobs died down, Tom pushed up her chin so she could look at him. Ellie looked up at him with hope evident in her eyes. He shook his head and said, "I'll think about it, Ellie. It's not a small thing to ask. It's not something I can just decide like that. I have to give you, Ruth and myself that respect. You'll have to wait, but in return I promise I won't change my mind after I give you my answer. Is that alright?"

"Mhm." Ellie didn't trust her voice right now.

"Thank you, Ellie. For asking me and for giving me time. I'll take some time to myself to think later, but for now let's just lie her for a bit, okay?"

"Mhm."

He pulled her head against his chest again and said, "Whatever choice I make, I won't let you walk out of my life."

***

Tom spent the rest of the morning at the beach, catching some sun and swimming. He couldn't get Ellie's heartfelt desire out of his head. It made him quiet during lunch, and he could feel Ellie's tension at his quiet. He saw the looks she gave him. The barely hidden fear at being rejected and lost. He pulled her in for a tight hug after they finished their plates and said, "Ellie, I don't want you to worry. Just give me some time to process. Okay?"

She nodded against his chest and squeezed him tighter to her. He couldn't think if she looked at him like that. All he wanted to do was give her another hug. A walk would do him good.

For the umpteenth time in the few hours since Ellie's confession, the same thought crossed Tom's mind. A father. Ellie wanted a father, and she wanted it to be him. She wanted a mother as well, and in her mind Ruth would be great. A no-brainer really. Just say yes. Sure, why not? Maybe because this and that and who knows what else. His thought just drew circles around themselves and wound up at the same spot over and over. The spot of not knowing what the hell to do.

Being a father meant raising Ellie. Granted, her childhood was long past, so no sleepless nights and school hours. He wished he could've seen her as a little girl, running around, laughing and playing with her little brother. Must've been a wonderful sight. She still didn't smiled often, not even after two years. How much more beautiful would she be if smiling came natural to her?