All Comments on 'Can No One Shoot Straight? Ch. 02'

Out Fucking Standing. Such a well worked out tactical event. Brings a wet eye to this old soldier. The only thing missing, Air Assault from Helicopters, along with maybe an AH-64 Longbow, a couple OH-58D, and A10 Warthogs. Just the same, I do have the wet eye.

Yes, please continue the story. I want to see what you have planned for the former family.

A little bit rambling, but good. 4*.

hell yes, great story

Anxiously waiting next chapter!

Very hard to read, jumping from 1st person to 3rd person POV and back.

I believe there could be a good story inside, but its hard to find it.

The reason I like BTB is because every real person out there, when he/she is cheated on would like to lash out and scorch the earth. Now... I understand that sometimes one doesn't have opportunities to do that in real life,

so it is nice to be able to read it at least in fiction.

KEEP GOING... nothing like a smell of Napalm in the morning! +5

1 star - What a load of crap.

For future reference please note, that I always give a single star rating to any stories containing violence.

Have a nice day

Yes story building beautifully please continue 5*

OK not even three paragraphs in and I feel like I've had a stroke

I went and rated every story of yours as one star as punishment

Obviously 10 hours of sleep want enough to prepare my brain for this so I will try again tomorrow staring with the first story as your intro did nothing to remind me of the narrative thus far

Fascinating read. You have set up for an interesting climax and denouement and I would like to see more.

i gave it a five- the plot is ridiculous, the writing is far from high quality, its like a really bad movie that comes on once in a while but i will set my alarm to watch whenever it comes on- while its better than any steven seagall movie, it doesn't reach the depths of my all time favorite bad movie- "gargoyles"- it hasn't been on in a while but it was supposed to be a scary movie where gargoyles would come to life about every 1000 years or so, kidnap and mate with human women who would lay eggs with the next generation of gargoyles would hatch in the next thousand years. When I saw this movie the first time, i had experimented with lsd for the first time. The movie didn't scare me, but I believed the writer and director both were on Acid when they created the movie. I never tried acid again because of that. I hope your story can keep today's generation of young people to limit there experimenting with drugs as well. While the story was pretty bizarre, I think you should continue to post your stories. Again, I gave it a 5 because for some reason, I loved it.

yes

yes please

Could be a good story. Needs a lot of work. First person or third person - pick one and keep to it. Your links between 'scenes' are very weak and often confusing. The usual issues of spell check (it's a word - just not the write one...). Character development is difficult and you need to take more time on it. Keep at it and put in the time and effort.

Awaiting more!

So much good stuff but it rambles around. keep writing,I see hope

I hope this is going somewhere.

Excellent**********,hope he makes it out

It took me well into the third page to really figure out just what is going on with time jumps, flash-backs, and action sequences. Not to mention the changing from first to second person being a distraction to the flow.

The jury is still out on the full story, but I’m interested in the next installment.

It was confusing for a while, but it came together halfway through this chapter. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Enjoyed the story and can’t wait to keep following.

My brain simply couldn't follow all the sub-plots. Sorry, my bad.

A sequel might be helpful to clarify things...or maybe not.

MLJ

Yes continue

Huh?!!

Bounce back and forth with small details. No

Its fraking hilarious when I started reading this story I was watching Starship Troopers on my computer LMMFAO 😂

I liked the story and gave it 5 stars but you need a lot of work. First, I'd suggest you take a College course in English Literature. Next, just because you read 50 stories here at Literotica doesn't mean you know how to write. Get rid of the dot dot dots, they need to be edited out to listen to the story in a Text Reader. Third, shy away from the compound words. Fourth, purchase Text Aloud and use it to write your stories so you can listen to your story as you write them, you'll be able to hear all the mistakes you've made and give to ideas on what to write. An Authors best friend! I wish it were available 34 years ago when I was the Editor in Chief and when I taught English Lit. Yes I have the credentials to make this statement!

No I won't Edit for any one. My eye's are too old but I have helped a dozen or so good Authors here. Don't ask!

Yes Wolf, I will edit for you!

So complicated, so much back and forth between now and then, and then, so many people, too many people

Bad, Terrible, Quit now!!!