All Comments on 'Cancun'

Thanks for the comments. I agree about the paragraphs and to be honest I was so involved with writing and rereading the story I just screwed that up big time. I just learned today that a volunteer editing department is available and I wished I had known prior to submission. Anyways this is my first effort and I appreciate the feedback.

You need to learn to shorten some of your paragraphs. Some of them are over 800 words long.

I would have loved to read your story, but after trying to read through a couple of the paragraphs on the first page and checking the other pages with just as many long paragraphs, I decided it was too much trouble.

Good story. A little hard to read. Continue....

I, for one, took a look at the paragraphs (including the last page to make sure what the 1st page wasn't an aberration) and thought, "screw this."

It is a good story, but hard to read without proper paragraphing.

Otto