All Comments on 'Candle in The Window'

Worst story you've ever written. Evil, cruel narcissistic woman wins, crushes a decent man. Wow, I'm absolutely flummoxed by this one. I'd give it less than a one if I could. My only hope is the second go around Lance shared STD's with her and her time on the planet is cut short, or her kids somehow find out and never speak to her again.

Good yarn. Well told. Believable.

It’s a good story but there’s not much else to say. The husband was essentially a martyr who sacrificed himself emotionally and physically to stay with a slut who treated him like shit for 7 years just for the cliché reason of ‘keeping the family together’.

As others have stated, well written. Many thanks for the story. But BOTH the man and women were sorry, sad, people. Her for her cheating and then letting it change/alter her married relationship. Him because while he had used a PI to check on her when she had other trips away, he knew where she had gone (City) when the problems first surfaced, yet when she returned to that sane city 7 years later, he did NOTHING! He just ignored her weird behaviour FOR & YEARS. Including her not wearing that blue dress (shades of Feb Sucks??) for her husband again! But he obvious knew, going by his comment 13 years later and still did NOTHING. Now that was just ridiculous. Getting 75% of her love and affection and always suspecting she had cheated on him but he never had the balls to confront her.

Moral if the story, never be a "good man". She abused his love. I don't care what a cheated spouse has to do, but do it they must. Because the cowardly cheater will shed a few fake tears and move on with life. It's how they managed to betray for so long. You won't punish them by suffering like a martyr. And kids in a broken homes suffer just as much as two separate homes.

Happens very rarely but you missed the mark with this one.

Well written but a very sad story

The writing was good, the story sucked big time!!! I gave it 2* for the writing, and zero for the story.

Siobhan: "I'm sorry I could never tell you about my affair. You would have broken up the family immediately... and I knew that wasn't what you would have wanted."

An agreed upon "one-and-done" rule can have downsides, obviously. The rule made communication impossible, when perhaps there would have been a small chance for forgiveness, and for growth of her somewhat shallow character, if she could have confessed. His "cancer of the heart" (how some commentator called it quite to the point) could perhaps have been prevented. The chance may have been small, but under this strict rule they had none at all.

Not that I'm against one-and-done, I hold to it myself. But still, I'm thinking...

Thank you, Hooked, for a very engaging story. 5* of course.

I appreciate that you tried something a little different. Wish the endingwas a bit longer, more fleshed out though..

I would bet this happens more often than we can or want to imagine. 5 stars.

No, there is no remorse. She is going to fuck on top of his grave with some stud and have orgasms humiliating him. This is the mindset of this kind of selfish women..

I dont understand how nothing was out in the news for him or a pi to find the first time and mostly the second time. I also dont see why he didnt divorce.

This is the first story in decades of following on this site that I have voted for a story. I know most of the story arcs end with a redemption of the cheated upon husband. I seek out stories that end sadly. I constantly rip open my betrayal wounds. This story eloquently covered the loss. Not sure how many readers have settled when "the one" got away. You try and give it your best. To have found "the One" and have them drift away must be unbearable. For those who stray they never experienced the "connection". For those who didn't but lost away, it is as solemn as a lit candle in the window waiting for the loved one to return. Enough to die from a broken heart. Thank you for putting into words I have yet been able to compose.

As someone who hates abrupt, rushed, and incomplete endings- this one was really good. This was short story writing at its' finest, with all the clues given to finish it. Terribly sad commentary on how an affair can ruin a marriage even if not found out. Her remorse and anguish was not spelled out, but was there, and will remain. Great story.

*applause*

*ongoing applause*

My admiration and compliments, Hooked!

Very well done!

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Be well!

I too am a big fan of Hooked, but this was flat for me as well. The husband had to live in emotional agony for many years without ever knowing exactly why. The wife never had to face him with what she had done to their marriage. She may have been sad and felt guilty at the end, but she never had to truly face the consequences of her actions.

No consequences no conclusion just cheating sex?

This won't get the appreciation it is due since it will strike a little too close to home for some. As a 60-something roommate with increasingly rare benefits who knows something changed years ago but doesn't, and probably never will, know what this has gotten me into an uncomfotable place in my 'feels'. If that was the intention, bravo.

Not going to score it now, will have to come back and re-read on a day when the weather isn't damp and dreary and my mood is better. Perhaps I'll like it more then.

Thanks Hooked, for giving me something to ponder on for what I suspect will be a good little while.

Normally a big hooked fan, but this one was poor. What a stupid slut

Your stories are normally good reads, don't know what happened with this one! definately not one of your better works!

5 stars. This story made me sad. He suffered for so long and she didn't even seem that remorseful at the end. It was Clay's misfortune in life to end up with such a loathsome woman

Very nicely written and creative tale of betrayal.

5

Captured the emotional toll well, but several major nits, when picked, detracted.

1. If the first meeting was unplanned, why did she pack the special dress? Sounds too coincidental.

2. Why would People magazine's Sexiest Man see in a housewife when he could have bombshells by the dozen?

3. Yeah, it's a story, but why didn't she return to "normal" after say two or three weeks? Why seven years?

4. She was offended that he called her a slut and a moron, yet she was offended, after calling him a prime piece of male beef. Just didn't sound consistent.

5. The "Can't you let it go" conversation sounded like it dropped out of nowhere. Can't he let what go? Just sounded odd after 7 years of no conversation.

6. The random timing of his heart attack -- maybe a little to convenient.

Like I said, nits, nothing major. Just a few things that niggled, and took the score from 5* to 4*. An unusual story, for sure. Thanks for sharing.

Good story. Well written. So many comments already about justice and her not getting what was coming.

But here's the thing about this ending.

She's in her 40s. She has kids graduating high school coming up. Going to college. College graduations. Then weddings. Grand kids.

In my mind...the ending for this stupid woman is full of shame and bitter enough to rival any BTB ending that this author could have written. It didn't end with ninjas or ex-special forces guys sneaking around delivering retribution. Or a complicated plan to reveal the cheating to the world on super bowl Sunday.

Instead it banishes this foolish wife to 4 more decades of daily living hell. She realizes what she made herself into. She changed her entire happy life into merely a tolerable existence for 7 years. Why? Over a one night sexual encounter with a famous man...who only considered her a piece of ass.

He couldn't remember her name. Didn't really remember the night they had spent together 7 years prior. But simply acknowledged that she did have the special look that got her repeat sex when she was next in town. That put her onto his top 15 list of women to fuck when he got the chance...and he bragged to her about this. And after all that had happened...all the years of betrayal to her husband? Of withdrawing. Of giving him half a life. Half effort. Half consideration. Right then, like the weight of a diesel locomotive pulling 100 cars, it hit her what a complete and utter moron she'd been. A total idiot to think the actor cared about her in any way other than a pretty cock sleeve. A nice set of holes to get off in.

Then almost immediately...after she realizes how she's treated her husband and ruined her marriage relationship? Her husband is gone. She can't repair it. She can't confess and beg forgiveness. She can't even be punished with angry words and divorce. She never gets to make it up to him.

Instead she gets to live a long and lonely life knowing she helped kill (through his broken heart) a devoted lovely man...she spurned his love. She gets to live into her 80s with the shame. Attending graduations. Weddings. Births of grandchildren. Baptisms. Confirmations. And all the life events that grand parents live for. Normally happy days, but for this foolish woman? She'll always be alone when attending. And in her heart along with the joy of seeing her children and grandchildren succeed...in her heart she'll always have this bitter shame of what she has done. How she treated her devoted husband and partner for 7 years. And how she destroyed him for those 7 years before he died. And it had all been for sex with another man who treated her like she was his favorite whore.

That's how I imagine her BTB ending happens. It isn't instant, explosive retribution. It's a lifetime of daily hell on earth.

Still well and truly Hooked.

Probably one of the most realistic descriptions of a man's anguish, the quiet despair. 5/5

Honestly, there really wasn’t much of a story in these two pages. It was mostly a rather bland description of a couple of illicit sexual encounters. This once outstanding writer’s work continues to decline.

You ruined a good storyline. Was believable until the death. That NEVER happens, and it looked like an excuse to end the story because you had something better to do. You never even delved deep into the husband’s thoughts considering his thoughts gave him enough stress to apparently kill him. Rewrite please. You have, and can do better.

Almost a new category called "Singed The Bitch"

Just incredible writing. One of tne best tales posted here ever.

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Siobhan was a real POS. Clay was almost terminally naive.

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The sadness of this story emanates from 2 facts: the bitch was never really remorseful, and Clay just gave up after the kids left the house. The bitch, in fact, didn’t even seem sad that Clay died. Only thing missing from the story was lack of real consequences to the bitch.

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5 *****

Her selfish action - followed by years of her cowardly inability to confess her affair - absolutely destroyed her marriage. In the end, she's also at least likely responsible for her husbands early demise. Sadly, there will be nobody to hold her accountable for her actions.... at least in this life. Now, I think the husband was a little soft in attempting to get to the bottom of things. He knew that his wife had drastically changed after returning from her first affair. He should have pressed her to open up - as a start. If unsuccessful, he should've reasoned that the person he married was no longer there, and at a minimum he should have separated. That's on him. Scoring this particular story is difficult. Without a doubt, it's well written, and I've always enjoyed the works of this author - but I admit to not liking this particular story. So, holding to the 5 star scoring standard given us by Literotica, I have to score it a 2/5. BRB

One of the saddest stories I’ve ever read, but very, very well written. Not exactly a fun read, but the author deserves great credit for his craftsmanship.

"Clay had no idea that she had packed that dress for the trip." - Why did she even bother to pack it?

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"she had to hope that a star the magnitude of Lance would be clean and disease-free." - Well, he's obviously not worried about her being "clean," why does she think he'd be any more careful with any other slut?

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"she couldn't have him and her family." - What makes her think that she can have Lance at all?

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"I've only given my number to about a dozen women." - "ONLY a dozen?" How the fuck many has he fucked that a dozen is an "only?"

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Don't care for HIM dying. I thought it was going to turn out that he had her followed one last time in Seattle and caught her, but kept the family together for the kids, and now that the youngest was married off, was going to divorce her.

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@Demosthenes, it's not made clear if he had her followed or not, or if he ever found out about her cheating, but he definitely lost 25% of his love for her.

oh crap wish i skipped this one

Nice story,a bit of a shame that Siobhan got the best of both worlds, until she didn't. And Clay, died knowing, but not for sure. Sad end to a nice fellow. RIP.

A good, well written story, as expected, with a surprising ending, at least for me. It was also sad that he died right when (I suppose) the divorce would've taken place.

> But I don't see why he had to live with 75% instead of finding somebody for 100%. Keeping the family together? Well yes, but at what price? There had to be, despite both their attempts, an act to behave as normal, but would their daughters've picked it up? And the price for Clay's happiness; story didn't relate how that figured for him.

> The PI: were they called off on the last trip? If not, why didn't they catch his wife with the star? Again, the story doesn't tell (& I'm very surprised that with everyone prereading this story, why that wasn't picked up). If they did see it, was Clay told? Again, last sentence, & why didn't he confront his wife if told? I also noticed that Clay didn't tell the PI that everything started after her last conference trip. Why not?

> The only thing was after making love, she looked into his eyes... "Can't you let it go, Clay?" But what came before? Again....

> The story was good- very good, but because of the above, I can't give this the 5 stars it deserved otherwise but almost dropped it to 3. It was believable, unlike too many other LW stories. 4 stars Bob

WOW! Well written and very realistic. I'm a bit surprised by the low score, tho. 5 stars from me. DMW aka

She killed him over time. She made their life miserable. BTB seems warranted, but the wrong person got B'd.

That said, it was well done and well communicated.

Shotty stupid ending ruined what was a decent tale…..

Sort of going through something similar. It's been 24 years and I know I will never get the truth out of her. The emotional damage it has slowly done to me over this time has been noticed by a lot of my close friends. Great story as it felt so real.

Great story. Couldn't be too far from the truth in some cases. thanks

Great story, but brutal.

I'm having a little trouble getting past his not sitting her down after a few weeks and asking "What the hell is going on" but that's a failing on my part.

Oh ya, this one rings with so much deep truth. Worst is when you know it and live with it - for the kids - likely the definition of an unwilling cuck. Often I wish I'd not made it back from Nam.

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4**** Hooyah

Didn't see that coming, dies in his sleep. He knew she was cheating but couldn't prove it. Cheaters screw up more lives by their selfish actions.

@KRD19254. From one Army combat veteran to another, Welcome Home ". We served, we survived, but why?? I have satisfied part of that by understanding that whatever "being" has set us on this planet,gave us a mission. What? We may never know. When 21 shots are fired and Taps sounds for us. Our mission here has been completed. In this story, it appears that Clay's mission on this blue rock had been completed. Stay safe

A very well written, but far too near-the-knuckle to sit comfortably with me thank-you-very-much (irony intended).

The ending that I initially feared, then dreaded, just had to go on and materialise- didn't it? Ugh!

. . .

R.S.

Cuck Garbage

You used to be so much better

Nice change of style from the usual stories. Ending was a little schmaltzy and unsatisfactory, but the setup was handled well.

Funny how she cheated once to screw up her screw up her marriage relationship, and another time to realise it. Although it does come across a bit shallow, if Lance had been a little smoother and could bother to remember her name, the revelation probably doesn't happen and her marriage withers even further instead of being resuscitated to its uneasy but functional state. Clay is a bit of a punching bag, but this is almost entirely Siobhan's story, so he'll have to take whatever it gives him.

Overall, a lot better than some of the other recent stories. Hope to see you back to your best.

lol

wow, suicide because of some pussy. there is no hope for y'all.

Excellent.

It happened to the wrong parent.

I only want stories with Traci!!!

Judging by the score, I was really surprised at how good this story is. There were special forces, no mafia hit men, and no Martian slut ray. I gave the story 5 stars.

Extremely well written, good characterization and plotting.

5-stars

Just what I needed on a dreary rainy day...a story about a slut that slowly killed her husband.

Good one. (signed ML)

She had no intention of telling her husband. It was her special secret, she did not feel guilty.

Brutal. Deeply sad. Realistic. It's how I think this scenario would play out in real life. It leaves the reader sad, frustrated, and unfulfilled which is exactly the point. In real life there are no crazy convoluted BTB scenarios. The cheated on man doesn't hires PIs and set up myriad James Bond-esque cameras. He doesnt automatically find a hotter more caring and gentle woman. He doesn't find great financial success and ride off into he sunset. In real life, the ending is sad. It's brutal and unfair. I just hate that it'll cost you stars because you don't give the satisfying blood and guts BTB ending. There are plenty of BTB stories on here, but very few that have the courage to take this route. 5 stars, and thanks for leaving me depressed and sad, jerk lol

Intense, definitely not the usual. Well written!

The stupid cuck got what he married, got what he accepted, avoided what he feared, and deserved everything he got. Especially the heart attack. He should have accepted that there was something that his wife wanted him to let go, something that caused her emotional and intellectual divorce for 7 years. He kept the family together, but it wasn't his family anymore, he was just a custodian until the kids were gone. When the kids left he should have also. Men age like wine, women age like cheese. As the whore was entering her cheese phase the husband would be in prime shape to find a woman who really did light up his life. But instead he took the ultimate cop out; he might as well have committed suicide. Oh, so the guiltless arrogant whore was So Sorry. The guiltless arrogant whore ended their marriage, but the author ended his life. What was the point? Thanks for nothing.

What a powerful story! Well-written. Thanks.

Ed

Thank You. Happens way more than we think. The light goes out and most do not miss that, without proof what do you believe?

This was very well written. It flowed nicely without the fluff a lot of writers think they need to make themselves look better. And the message was poignant. Next time you’re out, look at the husbands and see if you can tell which ones are in a marriage ‘for the kids’. She treated him like second best for 7 years. He knew what happened but she decided for both of them that he didn’t need to know the truth. She made him a cuckold and he knew it but held on for ‘the family’!!! Men, NEVER allow another to treat you as second best! NEVER allow another to treat you with disrespect! Better off leaving a horrible situation than sacrifice yourself for a wh@re.

I usually like a 5 to most of your stories this one I cannot. This is a 2 at most.

Well written story...but sad

I liked it, but didn't care for him dieing in his sleep. Yes, she cheated twice and was the cause of the light going out in his eyes. Yes, she was a coward for not taking responsibility for what happened.

Lance is the man in this one! He got it right. Be direct, straight, and fast. Don't even remember the hoes names. This method works like a charm for me and I ain't no hollywood star! All the talk of game and working women down is a bunch of horseshit.

The ONLY reason this is scoring poorly is that the author killed off the husband instead of allowing him to move on happily after the kids were all taken care of. Add to that —- Siobhan never suffered any consequences for her betrayal….and readers are going to vent with their scoring. And they have.

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This is without question a top flight written story —- which is why it is getting 5s across the board from fellow writers. But going with a plot that basically shits on the husband victim and doesn’t hold the wife vilian responsible — no matter how “realistic” those circumstances might be — was always going to elicit bad or average scores from many readers.

That was a very powerful story, well written. The ending was very original, with Clay passing in his sleep, I agree due to a broken heart.

Thank you for writing.

Difficult read. ( shoulda, coulda, woulda)

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

I was confused how a Hooked story favorited by 26thNC scores only 3.7 stars. Then I read the story and it makes sense. It's just a bummer read. It's not crap, but not very good. So I gave it an uninspired three stars.

Lots of sex, but little story. I was leaning toward four stars, but because ofl the skimming of sex scenes I did, the unsatisfying story gets three stars.

JPB

Very, very well written. I think I'd have died before hand. Well done Clay, you lasted longer than I would have! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Thank you Hooked, excellent work!

I read the comments and anyone worth a Damn in my book gave you a very well deserved score! Again, Thank you Hooked!

Not 100 percent sure I liked this one at all.

I usually prefer justice but this was different, original and just a bit Poe. Unsettling but impressive.

I hated it. I loved it. Too much. Not enough. I’m all over the place on this one. Each page in your stories is worth gold. My only comment would be to fill them with narration and dialogue rather than sex scenes. Most of us readers quickly skip over them cus it’s such a personal area of preferences. I know it’s lit and it’s supposed to be a stroke site but in LW everything is different still one of the very best writers ever on this site a full 5&FAV

I really enjoyed this story. It was breaking new ground for Hook1957. The ending was unexpected. I fully expected a break up. The end result was the same. The lie within killed her marriage and destroyed the relationship. She received the same punishment for her behavior as a divorce, a life alone without her husband and no hope of reconciliation.

Well written, but where is the burn for the cheating whore? He dies of a broken heart, but besides her losing her meal ticket, where is her suffering for being a whore? The writing deserves a 5 star rating, but the story line brings it down. I ended up giving you 4 stars for this one.

While the story was well written. A huge mistake was made by you. Actor Hunk is out with a beautiful woman that no one knows and there are no pictures posted anywhere on social media, no mention of this on local t.v. or entertainment tonight.

Hmmm - brought out unexpected emotion in me. Enjoyed it!

Not good, and not just because of the super depressing ending. The last few scenes felt disjointed and rushed.

"Can't you just let it go, Clay?"

Is this supposed to be a confession? It seems like it, because Clay then says he'll never be able to trust her again.

He talks about: "Can you live with 75 percent of perfect?".

But there's no subsequent scenes that describe what that entails for their married life.

At the very least this should've had Siobhan attempting to reinvigorate their marriage, with Clay just going through the motions. Even if she didn't regret fucking the star, a selfish woman like her would would miss the warmth, genuine affection, attention and validation from her husband. She was facing a lot of lonely years.

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Then at the very end, she blandly acknowledges that Clay died from a broken heart... which is 100% her fault. But there's no emotion from her at all. No regret, nor contrition, or even relief at not having to maintain her secret anymore.

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The best part of this story is that it can be seen as a cautionary tale. That you should never forgive a wife's infidelity, and that doing so is a 100% guarantee of living a miserable married life.

Clay knew that she cheated on him, but didn't confront her about it or divorce the slut.

It's hard to feel sympathetic to a man that passively accepts being cucked.

The story would have been much more satisfying if the narcissistic cunt would have died from an incurable STD from the Hollywood piece of shit.

Sad

This is really pathetic story about a slit whore and a wimp guy who tolerated each other for years instead of facing and dealing with massive issue dividing them.

She spends her whole life fantasizing and he spends on a PI multiple times without being smart enough to even think she screwed around out of town. Even the PI did suggest it or question it. We understand the concept, but not the best storyline and certainly not the result for Clay.

This needs a serious rewrite dealing with the real world and real facts. Not even one argument or confrontation or anything similar. Let’s just continue to be wimpy and live our lives in a fog!!

Excellent.

She had a choice between being the light in another human's eyes, and 'best sex ever.' Now she will always know she chose wrong.

And the point of that story is..... What exactly???

If there is no explanation to why characters behave the way they do - then you've got no story. Poor writing. Just another "February sux" crappp

2 starrs

The only good outcome here would be if she was hit by a car and spent the rest of her life in a wheel chair. Surprised you created a man with no balls and an evil woman who gets away clean. Very, very, very disappointing.

Consequences, intended or unintended, always consequences. 5 all the way. Your best work.

A very good story, but she needed to pay somehow. Clay endured her disrespect for years and she gets off "Scot" free. Still an excellent read

Too bad she doesn't hear his disembodied voice say "Take your sorry and shove it bitch". 5 stars for an unusual and well written story.

Weird original -- but I like original no matter waht. 5*

agree with Hapless but only a 4+

You told a great story as usual, but even though I gave you a *5 , I hated it. The wrong spouse was in that grave. Bitch did not deserve to live.

Different, yet brilliant, profound, and compelling. Unique, creative and powerful conclusion. A story full of values without the usual LW Troupes and over the top burns. In the end, the wife was done in by practiced indifference. I love all her stuff Hooked, but this was truly brilliant.

@tt59. Grow up fake tough guy. You just want everyone’s life to suck as much as yours does. To most decent people, there’s a lot more to life than seeing people who wronged you suffer, especially when they’re people you otherwise love. Hid you and your I’ll are miserable and you all seems to flock and gather on this website like a bunch of noisy crowd, loud and ugly but at the end of the Carly powerless.

For @anom below who wants a rewrite with real world facts. Hey dude, sorry to burst your fake tough guy bubble, but this story is very real world. Many, if not most, adult people live a lot of life in varying degrees of ambiguity and are relatively happy. Most people don’t burn down the world around when it doesn’t prrgectly suit them. They live with imperfect people and relationships. Doesn’t make them wimps, just real dorks adults dumb ass.

Ha? An apology at the grave and that's it? Disappointing! The good guy loses, even his life, and the whore gets everything?

Sorry, but I can't handle that!

Real life is already unfair in many situations, but the fact that a story on a sex site continues this injustice is certainly not in the readers' interest!

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