Carnal Desire Ch. 06

All I could feel was the mind-numbing fear as I walked the darkened streets. I hadn't a clue as to where I had just come from, all I knew was that I was trying to get away from something. Or was it someone? I couldn't be sure. My mind was cloudy, my vision blurred as I continued my trek to nowhere in particular through unknown territory.

I glanced around at my surroundings, I couldn't recognize anything. It was late and the sparse streetlights that illuminated the deserted sidewalks did very little to help. The faint rustle of the trees blowing in the slight breeze could be heard, dogs barking off into the distance along with the clicking of my heels against the concrete were the only sounds to bring me any sort of comfort. If I had any to begin with, but something told me that comfort was a luxury that eluded me.

Through my blurred vision, I could make out out bushes that aligned along the sidewalk, fences surrounding homes and houses that I could hardly see. My footsteps quickened as I felt the terror begin to crawl its way to my senses. I could feel someone's eyes watching me, the all too familiar feeling of being watched enveloped me. I turned in an attempt to look behind me as some bushes rustled, in that moment of terror one thing was for certain, I knew that was not the fucking wind.

I couldn't calm my nerves. I knew something bad was about to happen. I could feel it in every fiber of my being. I chanced another quick glance behind me, just then I caught the silhouette of a hooded man dressed in black walking behind me at a fast pace. Gathering as much strength in my tired state as I could, I walked faster. Doing everything I could not to draw anymore attention to myself, I kept my focus on looking straight ahead. I looked in front of me and noticed a building, all I needed to do was reach the next block and once I was able to go around the building, I could try to lose the figure behind me.

With a small surge of hope, I picked up my pace. Everything within my body was screaming for me to run, to not look back. Danger was coming! Run...Run! I tried to will my legs to move faster, MOVE DAMN IT!! I screamed at myself internally. Why wouldn't my legs move faster? Fear took hold of me. I could feel the danger in the air.

I rounded the corner and started to run. I didn't look back, I had to try to make it to somewhere safe. I searched the houses for any sign of lights or any signs of life as I kept running. In my haste I couldn't find anyone or anything to shield me from the dark figure that followed me. I could hear the footsteps behind me closing in.

I came upon an alleyway and rushed to find some sort of solace, when I thought all hope was lost, I seen a man walking out of an unfamiliar building. I was just about to call out to him for help when I felt strong hands wrap around my waist and cover my mouth muffling my attempted scream...

**********^^^^^**********

Wednesday, September 2nd

~Sydney's POV~

I woke with a start, my breathing heavy. Sweat beading down my face, I glanced around my room feeling a little disoriented from my dream. Finally, able to recognize where I was, I tried to calm my heart, taking deep breath's like my therapist had taught me. I couldn't remember the last time I had a nightmare that felt that real.

It's been a while since the last episode, at least 4 months since...I needed to shake the memory of that time. I couldn't dwell on it, if I did then I knew I wouldn't be able to go anywhere out of fear. I needed to focus my thoughts elsewhere and I knew just who I wanted to focus on.

I stared up at the ceiling, I don't even remember falling asleep. My body was sore and unsatisfied, I thought back to last night. Jordan has never done anything like that to me before. I still couldn't wrap my mind around it. A small part of me wondered if she did that to punish me, to torture me. For what, I have no idea. No. She would never do that to me out of malice, it wasn't in her nature to be that cruel.

That small part of me held doubts as I remembered the glint in her eyes that held that predatory instinct, I only caught a glimpse of it, but it was still there. I know I didn't imagine it. Then I remembered what she did, she became almost territorial. It felt primal in a sense, a new type of fire ignited within the depths of her eyes. Then the realization hit me, I had seen that look once before. But this time it was different, Jordan's eyes held something else that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

My alarm went off, causing me to snap out of my reverie that boarded on inner turmoil. My current mental and emotional state needed to be put on pause, I rolled over and shut off my alarm. It was time to get up, once I stood up, I felt the ache between my thighs. In more ways than one might I add. In all honesty, I was still a little peeved about how she left. Who wouldn't be? I'm even more upset with how she made me feel afterwards. I was too exhausted and upset last night to do anything about it. In all of the time I've been sexually active, which has only been with 3 other people, I've never felt the agonizing torment of not being able to climax. Well, at least not on purpose and not to this extent.

I meant what I said about Jordan being the only one to make me orgasm. Before she came into my life, I often wondered if there was something wrong with me. Jordan definitely changed that for me. I often wonder what sets her apart from the rest, not that I have a whole lot of experience to go on, but I had enough. Considering that it's been that way from the moment we met, up until now. One thing was for certain, I was definitely going to have a talk with Jordan about it after class. I didn't want her to think I was just going to let this go unfinished.

With a new-found determination, I made my bed then walked into my closet to find something to wear. After rummaging through my clothes, I settled on a nice beige woman's three-piece suit, which consisted of slacks, blazer, and a vest. I paired it with a white blouse and my beige Jimmy Choo's. I laid it out on the bed and went to into the en-suite bathroom. I let the water dissolve any negative or unwarranted thoughts from my mind. I enjoyed the refreshing feeling it brought as the water cascaded down my body. I felt like I could take on the day.

I stepped out of the shower feeling rejuvenated. I dried myself off and put on my bathrobe once I was done. Walking back into my bedroom, I sat down at my vanity and started the process of contouring my makeup. It was a long and lengthy process, but I felt it was worth it. Today I was going for a more natural look. Deep down, I knew I didn't need to put on makeup, at least that's what people have told me my whole life. Just as much as the next woman, I have insecurities. Plus, I genuinely enjoy the process.

When I was done with that I quickly got dressed and grabbed everything I needed from my room. I went downstairs and made myself a light breakfast then went to work.

The morning went on with no problems, I gave the necessary lecture and handed out the assignment. I searched for my raven-haired beauty every chance I had, but so far, my efforts were for naught.

In my free time, which seemed like I had a lot of today, my mind was pre-occupied with last nights excursion. I didn't know exactly what I was going to say to Jordan, I at least wanted see if she was okay because if the look in her eyes was any indication for having a cause for concern, then consider me worried. I knew something wasn't right, aside from the obvious, for me it was more than just her being upset.

Deep down I know I can trust her not to hurt me. In a way she didn't hurt me, in the physical sense or in any sense really. In fact, I rather enjoyed the roughness of it, I reveled in it. But in the instance that I noticed the fiery glint in her eyes, she was there physically, but she wasn't there mentally.

A part of me thinks that I could be reading too much into it and letting my imagination run rampant with each thought from the next, as much as I want that to be true, I know it's not. I can feel something in the pit of my stomach that's saying something is about to happen, and I know it's not going to be good. I just hope that we can get through it sooner rather than later.

The argument plagues me the most about last night. I'm more upset with myself than anything, for not getting the answers that I was seeking. I let myself become consumed with the raw sexual energy that radiated from it. I couldn't resist it, not that I really tried in the first place.

As the day progressed, I became more anxious as the minutes ticked away. The end of 6th period was nearing, and I could feel the nervousness engulfing me as I watched the clock. I tried to keep my emotions at bay.

The bell finally rang, I monitored the students as they left. I patiently waited at my desk, not wanting to seem too eager to see the raven-haired beauty as she casually strolled into the classroom. I began to prepare the last lesson of the day as the students made their way to their seats. The bell rang signaling the beginning of class.

I surveyed the room and Jordan was nowhere to be seen. My heart sank in my chest at the realization that she wasn't here. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, she could just be running late. 5 minutes passed and still no Jordan. Then 10 minutes, then 20, then before I knew it, class ended.

Once the last of the students left, I decided to message her. 'Hey baby, I missed you in class today. Is everything alright? Call me when you get a chance.' I waited for a response. Nothing. Thinking nothing of it, I made up my mind to finish up what I was doing.

I packed up my things and left for the day. I needed to get out of here and relax. The drive home went faster than it usually does.

I walked into the kitchen, glancing around the room I began thinking of Jordan. I looked at my phone. Still no response. Sighing mentally, I take my bags and head back to my car, needing to get out of the house. Not wanting to reflect on last nights events.

Not really knowing where I'm going, I settle on a quaint little coffee shop 13 blocks from my house in the heart of the city. I parked my car in a parking lot a block away from the coffee shop itself. The sun rays beaming through the now partial clouded sky, despite the clouds, the warmth of the sun was humid. Making my skin feel sticky with almost automated perspiration. Luckily, the walk wasn't that strenuous.

I stepped through the threshold of the coffee shop, the cool air instantly refreshing me as soon as the door closed. Coffee, lattes, macchiatos, mochas and things of the like filled the air. The aroma intoxicating, calming my senses. I made my way to the counter and patiently waited in line.

When it was my turn, I ordered my iced caramel macchiato and waited for my name to be called. Once it was, I grabbed my drink and went in search to find a place to sit. I found a nice secluded place in the corner towards the back. An hour passed as I sat at the table finishing grading papers. I wanted to get a jump start on next weeks-lesson plans.

Sorting through some of the previous lessons and this year's syllabus, I hear a familiar voice screech in excitement. I look up from my paperwork and see my college roommate standing before me, beverage in hand. Her facial expression of utter surprise, which most likely mirrored my own. I couldn't believe Keira Santiago was standing here in the very same coffee shop as me.

Her light brown hair flowing freely down the middle of her back in natural lose waves. Keira's dark brown orbs gleaming with excitement, her perfectly natural tanned skin glowed as the sunlight hit her facial features in the most majestic way possible. Her stature giving the illusion that she was taller by the red high heeled pumps she wore, when she actually stood around 5'6". She wore a matching pencil skirt with a white blouse. She carried her drink in one hand and her matching blazer in the other. Her two-toned beige and black Louis Vuitton handbag slung over her right shoulder. Everything about Keira screamed elegance. A pure Latina beauty, just like her older sister Vanessa. The Santiago sisters are definitely the epitome of gorgeous.

The last I knew; she was in New York working for a high-end publishing company. Keira broke my inner thoughts. "Oh my God, if it isn't my old roommate and best friend Sydney Vaughn. What are you doing here?" I am completely flabbergasted; I couldn't believe she was standing in front of me.

"What am I doing here, what are you doing here?" I exclaim as I get up from my seat and hug her still in utter shock. Taking in her all too familiar Chanel No. 5 perfume.

"I relocated here about a month ago." She all but squealed in my ear. I forgot how much I missed her.

"What? Really? And you didn't tell me?" I asked as we pulled away from her embrace, each of us taking a nice long look at the other.

"I was going to, but then everything with packing, then moving, then with work. Everything just got so busy to where I barely have a moment to myself. And why are you here young lady?" She asked as I gestured for her to take a seat in the chair opposite me.

"Well, I too have relocated. I was offered a teaching position at Camden High School as the English teacher." I replied as I took a drink of my macchiato.

"That's amazing. Congratulations." She replied with genuine enthusiasm.

"Congratulations to you as well." I countered, still reeling from seeing my best friend.

"So, it appears that I'm not the only one keeping things from their best friend." Keira said with a smirk.

"Well, just like you, I was consumed with packing then moving and work." Immediately I felt terrible for not being a better friend and checking in with her earlier.

"How do you like it here so far?" She inquired, changing the subject as she sipped her drink.

"To be quite honest, it's been good. Some things have been a little unexpected to say the least, but other than that, I love it here." I replied trying not reveal too much considering my current situation. A small part of me felt bad for not confiding in her, but I wasn't even sure if there was a problem.

"Well good. I'm glad." She stated with a huge smile.

"So, how do you like it here?" I asked trying to take the focus off of me.

"I fall deeper in love with it here, plus it gives Vanessa and I more time to spend together." Her response was a little more serious, with a light undertone.

"I bet. So how is Vanessa?" I couldn't help but ask. I had always liked Vanessa. If I were to have an older sister, I would want someone like her. Vanessa being a little intimidating upon first impressions, but once you get to know her, she's the sweetest and one of the most intriguing women I ever met. Aside from Jordan that is.

"I figured you would know more than me at the moment, since she is the principal at Camden." Keira shot me a look of disbelief.

"What? I didn't have any idea she was. Well, but then again, I haven't had the chance to meet the entire faculty yet. Things happened so fast." I all but exclaimed, genuinely surprised as the new set of information continued to divulge.

"Well, there will be plenty of time for that soon enough." Keira waved her hand as if to say it's not a real big deal.

Keira and I continued to catch each other up on the minor things in our lives. I couldn't bring myself to speak of Jordan just yet, even though I desperately wanted Keira to help shed some light on the subject, being at the coffee shop definitely played a huge factor in me not confessing what was currently on my mind. I felt it was something we could save for another day.

I had truly missed my friend and I still wanted to catch up, but it was getting late and I still needed to grade papers. Keira and I said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

**********^^^^^**********

Friday, September 4th

I lie awake staring at the ceiling with only one person on my mind. No matter how hard I try, I can't push my thoughts of Jordan aside. I didn't like the way she left things, and then she's not answering any of my calls or text messages. I want to be mad at her, but somehow, I can't.

Ugh! Just thinking about it makes me feel like some weak-willed woman. I feel like if I were to tell someone, they would see how pathetic I've become. If my mother were here, she would most likely comment on it. Which reminds me that I needed to call her soon. Just not today. I didn't feel like hearing incessant badgering about my life decisions. Especially not with Jordan occupying my every waking thought.

I lifted my head off my pillow and looked towards my bay window. Daylight was coming, I needed to get out of bed. To say I wasn't looking forward to today would be a huge understatement. But then a thought occurred to me...I can choose to be miserable or I can choose to enjoy the day and make the most of it. It was there that I made up my mind to talk to Jordan as soon as I saw her. I wanted this mess to be over with. I've never really been good at holding grudges, I'm not going to start now.

I reached over to my nightstand to look at my phone to check the time. 5:17 am. I had 4 missed calls from an unknown number that's been calling me since Wednesday. Passed experience has taught me to never answer those calls. I still cringe when I see them pop up on my screen. I shook my head, trying to rid my thoughts of that time in my life.

No need to wallow anymore. I had a big day ahead of me. Feeling more determined, I jumped out of bed and went to take a shower. I did my normal routine and felt like dressing casual today. I picked out a yellow halter top and dark blue skinny jeans, I covered my shoulders with a long white open sweater, then put on my white leather Valentino studded sandals. I straightened my hair out and put on my pendant and medium sized platinum hoop earrings to finish off the look.

I sat in my classroom and checked my messages for what seemed like the millionth time in an hour, the only ones are from an unknown caller. It was now lunchtime and I still haven't heard anything from Jordan. It's been 2 days since me and Jordan spoke, and I was beginning to worry as the minutes ticked away. Given the state she was in when she left the other night, I wanted to know if everything was okay. Not just between us, but for her parents as well.

The tension was mounting as my vexation continued to take its toll on my psyche. I held out hope that Jordan would show up for class or at the very least, text me that she's ok. My imagination was beginning to run rampant, thoughts that I couldn't seem to control. The realization hit me yesterday, on just what type of person that I was becoming.

On the one hand, I had always told myself that I would never become one of those mindless women that made decisions based on a relationship I was in. Because I seen firsthand where that type of thinking could get you. Many of my friends from college, ended up defining themselves by the relationship they were in. On the other hand, here I was, doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do.

I was slowly becoming one of those women. It's now that I realize why it's been so easy for those people to succumb to those feelings of giving in to the one that you love. It's funny how life can throw those little curve balls.

I sighed and looked at my watch. 12:32 pm. I had just enough time to use the restroom and come back before the warning bell.

As I was coming out of the restroom, I noticed Mr. Wallace walking in my direction. I readied myself just in case he would try to stop me. I continued to make my way to my classroom as he neared me. With a quick glance in his direction as I was about to pass him, he smirked at me and then turned to me. "Ms. Vaughn." Almost made it, his tone was gentle, one that didn't seem to fit his demeanor.