All Comments on 'Carpe Dieam'

Constructive criticism: Please check the spelling in the title. Readers will one bomb without even giving your effort a chance.

Six years of Latin, and Horace who coined the phrase in an Ode, would not recognize your spelling. With WHOM. And other various problems. Not a new plot. A good idea, but not new. Work with an editor. I find the story does not seem real and saying that it is based on real events does not make much difference. A wife is paid for sex and the husband essentially acts as a passive pimp. A sexually dishonest relationship from the start did not help either. I know. I am a moral curmudgeon, but overall not much is original here.

so she was a CHEATING FUCKING CUNT WHORE and he was a real cuck that jacked off when his wife told him she got fucked buy someone else. and that was just the first page. to rate this i would have to read it so it goes without a rating becasue i just cant see wasting that part of my life reading 5 pages of this shit.

I think the future of the relationship in this story is doomed to fail. I would like to see where you are going to take this.

This was not erotic for me at all. A rich bitch who goes uses her money to own people. A self-centered cunt who willingly whores herself (and that is exactly what she is doing) for the promise of sex. A dumbass cuck who will ultimately regret marrying the slut who he will never be able to satisfy alone again. What a miserable group. I am assuming that this fiasco will continue, however, I doubt I will follow along unless I forget the title and get sucked into I again. I'll leave my rating now. 2* because it did get an emotional response out of me but the subject and main characters are too loathsome to rate higher.

Criticism of spelling and grammar are valid. However, all you trolls from over at the incest forum need to go back and beat off thinking about fucking your little sister.

1 Star gone for misspelling the title. 1 Star gone for the honestly weak storytelling. 1 Star gone for a complete cast of unsympathetic characters. 1 Star gone for another generic cuck tale. And last but definitely least, 1 Star gone because I literally had to stop reading because it gave me a headache. No, I couldn't even rate this one. I rarely say this about ANY tale I read on this site... Ok, I've NEVER said this about any other tale I've read on this site. This one was, hands down, the worst I've ever tried to read.

I advise writing classes before trying again. Keep the dream alive, but please get some training first, and please try a different topic. Thanks.

0 Stars (unrated)

Not a fan of cuckold stories, I hope you are not heading completely in that direction. I'm sure some people like that stuff,( each to their own).

I think you have promise as an author.

A good editor or proof reader will help heaps.

Sorry I meant you have promise as authors plural

I almost stopped at the first page but I continued to you could earn your score.

1*

Your story made me totally wet. I am adickted to it now..........fuck....keep writing baby!!!!

you may lose a lifetime, TK U MLJ LV NV

reread your story and not just rely on spellchecker because that tool only finds misspelled words, not words that are spelled correctly, but are the wrong ones, such as "hear" and "here."

Sad though it may seem to many of those who have left comments, I quite enjoyed this but only in as much as it left plenty of avenues to be explored in the future - I'm assuming there are going to be other parts and this wasn't just a one off. Like others I cannot see any future for their marriage and I hope the writer has the skills to explore the husbands angst regarding the future direction of their relationship once the initial sexual euphoria is over and he realises that his wife has been brainwashed into becoming a cum slut..

Then again it may become a pile of cr*p

If you hadn't added that ridiculous preface to the story, I could have accepted it solely on those grounds, but apparently we're supposed to believe that this is based in real life, that people really are THIS fucking stupid, signing illegal slave contracts that they haven't read and dont't agree with, believing spouses who are outright lying to their faces in an obvious way... etc. They can't see ringing warning bells right in front of their faces, and don't take any alarm whatsoever at the word "indoctrination"?It's a cute fantasy, but if it's as "real life" as you're trying to make it out to be, everyone involved is a fucking idiot and the entertainment value of the story drops immensely.

I realize that both authors on Literotica and producers in Hollywood like to slap the "based on real life" label on things to try and make it hit closer to home, but the end result in both is generally the same: if we have to suspend our disbelief to believe a "real" story, then you aren't doing a very good job of it and need to just lose the lame label altogether.

Several good plot points that can be explored. It is well developed, and despite some minor spelling errors, it is well written. Please keep writing this story!

Badly written cucky shite and the "based on a true story" is pure bollocks.

1*

God, this reminded me of an early 70's feature porn movie. The elaborate costuming, the masks, the Barbie twins, the blonde Dick, the ceremony and ritual, the castle sets. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way...if this was 1973.

But it's 2013. We don't know how to spell any better, but we have machines that do that for us. You know about them because you must have used one to write this story. They would have found "immanet", but they wouldn't have found "defiantly" the 26 times it should have been "definitely". But then we have machines that sort of check grammar too, and literotica has editors who already know these things in their heads. Those editors are free for the asking and worth it for any story, esp. a 5 page story that you obviously put a lot of effort into.

Grossly negligent spelling and grammar take us out of the story. So does asking us to compare your character with a celebrity, not once, but twice. First of all, as readers, we have an imagination. We know what we want the characters to look like. It's disturbing to be told they look like something else, and even more disturbing when we have absolutely no idea who that celebrity is or looks like. It would be more fitting in this case to have described them using 70's porn stars, but that would have been unhelpful to readers who have no idea who they are.

It's always interesting to see how someone approaches a literotica story. Except for the second person stories that are so poorly written they are impossible to deal with, every story gives us a glimpse into the writer's mind and the world they are creating. This was fun for that, but otherwise, I think I'd rather have been watching an Annette Haven movie.

None of what I wrote is meant in any way to discourage you from writing more. You put the first one out there...always a gutsy and difficult move...now write a better one about something else.

Can't wait for what happens in the coming 11 months.

This is great......Give us part 2 soon !

Great story, well written. Please keep going, this has too much potential to leave it where it is.

Great beginning, lets have more.

To be honest this story was very poor. Poor story telling, poor grammar, poor spelling, etc.... It's funny how there are always a couple of commenters who "love it" regardless of how well it is written or in this case how badly. Why don't you guys just go watch cuck videos or read a site just for cuckolds if you are going to just "love" everything that gets your little pee pee hard? Just as long as it's disgusting and perverted then who cares if it reads like it was written by a 3rd grader, right!?!?

Ignore the comment from the ignorant prick at the top of these posts. If he's looking for perfect grammar and spelling he's in the wrong place. The storyline is great and I can't wait to hear the rest of the story.

If the husband hadn't been such a spineless, pathetic wimp. At some point he needed to draw the line and tell these women to go to hell. Evidently there is no limit to how much crap and humiliation this wimp is welling to endure. He'll gladly sell his pride, dignity, self respect, and wife for money or a motorcycle. This guy deserves whatever he gets, and so does anyone who reads more of this.

Great story line, and potential for a number of installments.

Here are a number of ideas:

Susan taken on raised bed in front of group. Husband made to wear horns as he sits at bedside.

Husband brought to place he submits to eating first creampie.

Wife removed from birth control by Dana.

Interracial sex during fertile period.

These are some loose ideas of mine. Hopefully you will gain sufficient feedback to carry this through several chapters.

Thanks.

Nice erotic story. Hopefully there is a chapter 2 and more if necessary.

:)))) What a naive shit!! - But actually, everyone will pimply teenager believed this nonsense unreservedly.

For those youngsters, who know the realities of sex with descriptive literature and porn films - the S-Fi (without the "science" but with the word "Bollywood" in return), it will be the most fascinating and true story which they can read :))

And it is not surprising or startling that the will squeal and yelp: - 'More please!!' - 'Mooore! ' :)))

Hey, this could turn out to be a good story. Its got lots of room for more chapters. o see more of this soon.

After reading this I can only say that poor sap was set up.She knew that woman for five years and didn't know about the sex parties.BULLCRAP>And if Lauren had been there for 10 months why did she not mention that to her husband.I think the women set that up months before and tried to make it look like something that just happened

Waiting for 2nd chapter. Yes, there were some technical problems in the story but general idea is unique and different. I hope you don't wimp out on this one.

UNO ESTRELLA

was his permanent sense of right and wrong, TK U MLJ LV NV

This is a really exciting story, the sex is hot and I like the way the author describes Nick's mixture of arousal and anxiety. But we need to hear more - more about Susan's induction - how many men and women has she fucked - does Nick only get to watch, or does he join in.

It's not fair to leave us hanging in suspense, please give us more

Beginning of a fun and erotic story. Will there be more chapters?

nuvi45

Lovely story

Surprised Dana didn't have Nick clean the stunt cock. I would so like to write alternate endings for this story. Like Nick whispering in Dana's ear, "have you ever fucked or sucked the stunt cock?". No, says Dana, then Nick commands her to suck the stunt cock. Then while Mr. Cock is fucking Susan Nick has Dana and Lauren suck his cock while his wife has to watch and Nick ends up fucking Dana and Lauren in front of his wife. So a good time is had by all. But just whacking off while his wife got her brains fucked out --- naw. Or Nick gets disgusted, leaves on the Harkey to plot revenge on his cheating cunt wife and Dana. BTBes. Transfers the money to different accounts his wife has no access to, gets a divorce lawyer, and gets restraining orders prepared for Dana and Susan and drops the bomb later. Lauren, who Dana says has been there 9 months, but Lauren says is 11 months gets out of her contract after a month and starts to looks for Nick who has not been heard from since he left the mansion. He's been off on his Harley having a jolly old time in Vegas picking up lots of women, flush with cash. He's been winning at black jack too. Lauren finds him and let's him know his wife is worried about him, which he doesn't care the least about. He shacks up with her for a while, but decides to dump her, drop the bomb on Dana and his bitch wife.... And lives happily ever after with his new harem in the Caymans. Or as someone else suggested he's locked in cock cage, tied to a chair on stage while everyone fucks his wife, then has to eat the massive creampie while everyone laughs at his tiny dick.

End of ridiculous story. Just awful.

First time I have gone back and re-read a series of stories. Usually once thru is enough. I hope you have more in store, and don't listen to the haters, write from a real husband and wife situation. Maybe pushed but not broken? Love them!

Dont know where the nay sayers come from but this is the best story i have read in years (the majority agree with me ) Great job---------but hurry we want more

The writing is ok, i guess, in not a little sterile but the characters and the premise are worse than demented. The husband is a loser and his wife... for sale.

In this case I'm going to seize the airsickness bag.

the relationship with the wife is over . no more love involved just lust. The year will end and both will go separate ways . the money cannot turn back time nor erase what will come in the next eleven months. Any one that thinks they can go back is a fool. Too bad.

These stories are specifically targeted at a seriously mentally ill audience, so of course they make no sense to the rest.

...constructive comments, so I'll be brief: The correct Latin phrase is " Carpe diem" translated as "Seize the day"

No part of this was appealing or even interesting.

Did these idiots praising this cuck and whore garbage read the same story that I did.

Boy what an awful Cuck tale this was.

Scores 1/5 and I’m glad you gave up writing here, pure drivel is all u are capable of.

what a pathetic man