Carpe Diem

"Vino de la casa, blanca," he said to the server.

"Well, look at you, Mr. Italy!" Geddy gushed.

Neil shrugged. "I'm beginning to think I was born in the wrong country."

"At least your accent is halfway decent," Alex noted. "Geddy pronounces buongiorno like she's naming her favorite eighties metal band."

That comment earned him a hard slap on the shoulder. Neil laughed so hard he nearly choked on the food he had just placed in his mouth. "You got all dressed up for the occasion," he said, noting Alex was wearing the suit he had purchased in Florence.

Alex proudly straightened his lapels and grinned. "It's nice, right?"

"Very sharp," Neil said.

"So, what did you do today?" Geddy asked Neil.

"I walked all over this city," he told them. "I saw the Pantheon, the Trevi Fountain, the Spanish Steps, and Castel Sant'Angelo. Now I'm thoroughly exhausted. Oh - that reminds me." He sifted through his pockets and placed several magnets on the table in front of Geddy. "That's to thank you for letting me crash your dinner."

"You're so sweet!" she said, examining each one before adding it to the collection in her purse.

"We couldn't spend our last dinner in Italy without you," Alex said.

"Last dinner," Geddy sighed. "The last ten days have been so incredible. I don't want it to end!"

"Ah, but that's why it's incredible," Alex said. "If we lived here, we wouldn't think it was so incredible."

"I don't know about that," Neil said with a wink.

"That's why life is so incredible, and so precious," Alex continued, "because it ends. If it went on forever, we'd be bored to tears, begging for it to end."

"There he goes again," Geddy said, rolling her eyes. "Can't I just be sad that this amazing trip is ending?"

"Like the great philosopher Theodore Geisel once said: 'Don't be sad that it's ending; be happy that it happened.'"

Neil raised an eyebrow. "Theodore Geisel?"

Geddy sighed and took a sip of wine. "Doctor Seuss," she said to Neil. He shook his head and laughed.

"A toast to good friends," Alex said, raising his glass, "and great memories."

They clinked their glasses above the table. They were silent for a long while as they soaked in the atmosphere. Alex watched the expression on his wife's face as she gazed at the Colosseum. He glanced across the table and noted that Neil was looking at her as well. He quickly averted his eyes when he noticed that Alex was looking his way.

"You look absolutely beautiful tonight, honey," Alex said to Geddy.

She smiled, and her blue eyes sparkled. "Aww, thanks."

"She's beautiful, isn't she, Neil?" Alex asked.

"Tonight and every night," Neil responded, raising his glass to her.

After dinner, Neil invited Alex and Geddy to his room. "I bought a bottle of wine back in Florence," he explained, "and I don't want it to go to waste."

When they entered his room, Neil opened his window to allow the cool night air and the sounds of Rome to filter into the room. He uncorked the bottle of wine and displayed it for them proudly. Geddy couldn't help but giggle. "Look at you! You're turning into quite a wine connoisseur!"

"I've always been a beer man," he said as he poured a cup for her. "Maybe an occasional scotch. I never got into wine, though, until I came here."

"Yeah," Geddy giggled, "I can tell."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Geddy began laughing uncontrollably as she described their first dinner together. "The server handed you the cork, and I saw this look of panic in your eyes! You sort of looked at the two of us, then gave it a sniff! Then you gave the server the ol' thumbs-up sign!"

"Well, what the hell are you supposed to do with a cork?" Neil boomed, loudly enough to be heard over their laughter.

"You're only supposed to inspect it," Geddy said, struggling to catch her breath. "You know, make sure the label matches, and that it isn't decomposing from the storage."

"Well, shit," Neil said, "no one told me!"

"It was adorable," she said, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Had I known I'd be vacationing with such a lush, I would've done my homework!" he teased.

"Lush?" she scoffed. "Oh, please. You should've seen me in college."

"I would have loved to see you in college. Do you have any photos? Maybe at a beach or pool?" Neil seemed to catch himself mid-sentence and turned to Alex. "Shit, I'm sorry, man. No disrespect."

"None taken," Alex said. "You never have to apologize for putting a smile on this woman's face. Or redden her cheeks like you just did."

"It's the wine!" she protested.

Neil stood from his chair. "Excuse me a minute. I gotta see a man about a horse."

When the door to the bathroom closed, Alex stood. "Where are you going?" Geddy asked.

"I'm going to head back to the room. But listen, I want you to stay and finish off that bottle."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not. I'm serious. And I want you to know that whatever happens, happens. Okay? Whatever takes place tonight, I'm okay with it."

Geddy froze for a moment as her clouded mind tried to process what he was suggesting. "What on earth are you talking about? What are you saying?"

He took her by the shoulders and stared into her eyes. "I'm saying you need this. You both do. You've had a rough year. Let this be your reward. For one night, just set all of your worry and sadness aside and live in the moment, okay? I swear to you, whatever you do, I will not be angry or upset. Let him give you what I can't. All I want in this world is for you to be happy."

He kissed her softly and swiftly left the room, leaving her standing dumbstruck in the center of the floor.

***

When Alex awoke in the middle of the night, he was momentarily struck with panic when he rolled over and noticed the emptiness beside him. He rose from the bed to urinate, and to search the darkened corners of the room.

"She actually did it," he muttered to himself.

His pulse raced as he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating what was happening. Of course, he had no way of knowing what, exactly, was happening at that moment. He had a fertile imagination, however. That, in itself, was enough to cause his blood to flow and his mind to race. It seemed as though an entire day passed before he heard the door slowly creak open. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

As she eased beneath the sheets, he suddenly rolled on top of her. She was so startled, she stifled a scream. He kissed her deeply, and she returned his kiss with enthusiasm. As their lips and tongues mingled, he reached down and forcefully tugged at her panties. He managed to wrestle them off of one leg, and with the panties still dangling from her other ankle, he returned to his position on top of her.

He grabbed his rock-hard cock and positioned it at her entrance. In the pale glow of the moonlight he watched as her eyes widened. He entered her, and she responded with that sweet and familiar gasp. He sunk into her and she raised her hips to meet him. Their horizontal dance continued slowly, and then frantically.

She clawed into his back as he slammed into her repeatedly. The mattress shook as she spread her legs as wide as they would stretch, allowing him to penetrate deeper and deeper. They stifled their moans as they came together before he collapsed on top of her in a sweaty mass. He held her for a moment as he struggled to catch his breath. When he began to withdraw, she stopped him and pulled him back to her.

"I want to feel you inside me," she whispered, "for as long as possible."

They said nothing to each other as he lay on top of her, his chest still heaving. She could feel his heart thumping rapidly against her chest. She held him tightly and stroked his peachfuzz-covered head as he rested it on her shoulder.

"Alex, I want to tell you what happened."

"No. Please. I don't need to know."

"But—"

"But nothing. I don't want to know. What happened is between you and Neil, okay? It doesn't matter to me."

"Okay," she whispered. She could feel his cock sliding out of her, and she did all she could to hold him a bit longer. "I don't understand. Where did that come from? How did...?"

"I don't get it, either. I saw that you were gone and my mind just went crazy. When you came back into bed, I felt this overwhelming urge to reconnect with you. To...reclaim you, I guess. My dick just...somehow responded. I guess what the doc said was true. It was all mental."

"Well, all I have to say is...that was amazing. I love you so much, you know that?"

"I know," he said. "I love you, too."

***

Geddy sat in a chair in the corner of her master bedroom. She stared straight ahead, and yet saw nothing. She felt nothing but a raw, empty, numbness. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot, and her nose was beet red. She hadn't fixed her hair in days and hadn't showered until her sister arrived from out of town and insisted on it.

"Another note," her sister, Paige, announced. She stood in the walk-in closet, holding a pair of Alex's pants. At her feet were a pair of cardboard boxes; one labeled "Garbage"; the other "Salvation Army." She tossed the pants into one of the boxes and carried the note she had found over to Geddy.

Geddy unfolded the note and smiled as she read it. "It's a list of items he needed at the hardware store. He was planning to renovate our downstairs bathroom before he got sick. He has everything listed, right down to the number of screws and nails."

"He was always so meticulous," Paige noted. "Always well-prepared. He seemed to think two steps ahead at all times. That's why I refused to play chess with him."

"It's just the way his brain was wired." She smiled, and her eyes shimmered again. She didn't think she had any tears left. She shook her head and laughed. "Was." It still didn't sound right. It couldn't be.

Paige found another note tucked into another pair of pants. "Yoo-lay-oh 31891," she read. "Does that mean anything to you?"

Geddy shook her head. "Probably another password. He gave me all the important ones already. You can toss it."

A moment later, her sister stepped out of the closet holding a business suit. "Is this the one?"

Geddy nodded. "That's it. He bought that in Rome. Or was it Florence? God, it seems like more than six months ago. I thought it was so strange that he wanted to buy it, but who was I to tell him no at that point? I should have known that he was just planning ahead."

"Okay, I'll drop it off at the funeral home when I head out. Oh, wait. Another note." She produced a small white card from one of the pockets. "Actually, it's a business card. Who is Neil McLaren?"

Geddy sat up straight in her chair and took the card from her sister. She hadn't thought of Neil since they parted ways at Logan Airport. Her thoughts instantly returned to that night in Rome, when Alex had left her standing alone in Neil's room.

"What's going on?" Neil asked when he re-entered the room. "Where's Alex?"

For a moment, she was still too stunned to speak. At last, she said, "He said...well, it doesn't matter what he said. He went back to the room."

"Is he feeling okay?"

"I...I think so. He's acting strangely. Again. Sometimes I don't even recognize him anymore."

She sat on the edge of the bed, and Neil refilled her cup. She took a healthy sip and a deep breath. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She chuckled and shook her head. "I haven't been okay in a long time. When I think about it, it's really not out of character for him. He's always been protective of me. He always thinks of others before himself. You know what he said when the doctor gave us his prognosis?"

Neil shook his head, and she mimicked his movement, recalling her disbelief in the moment.

"Alex just sort of sat there for a minute. No emotion, but you could see the wheels turning in his head. Of course, I was a mess. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, trying to get his attention. He turned to me and started telling me about a file that he keeps on our laptop with all our investment information - accounts and passwords. Then he told me about a life insurance policy he has through his job. The man was just told he's going to die, and his very first thought was to make sure I had all the information I need when the time comes."

"His first thought was of you," Neil said.

Geddy nodded. Her eyes welled with tears, and she began sobbing. Neil rushed across the room to take her cup of wine before it toppled onto the floor. He set it aside, sat next to her on the bed, and held her in his arms.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"Don't be. A friend of mine once said it's good to let it out instead of bottling it all up inside."

He could feel the dampness on his shoulder, but he didn't mind. He simply held her and gently stroked her hair. "I know he wants me to be happy," she whispered, "but I just can't."

"It's okay to be sad," he said.

She stayed until the last of the wine had been drained from the bottle. They talked into the early hours of the morning. She did most of the talking, while he simply listened and nodded. By the time she left the room, she felt thoroughly drained. "Thank you," she whispered as they embraced. She planted a warm kiss on his cheek and returned to her room, where she crawled beneath the sheets next to her husband.

She smiled as she thought of that moment. Her virile husband had returned - for a while. It was those moments she wanted to remember forever. Whenever she found herself thinking of all that had transpired in the recent months, she rapidly shook her head until the thoughts disappeared. If she worked at it hard enough, perhaps she could suppress them forever.

She inspected the business card in her hand, etched with Neil's name and phone number, along with the community college's letterhead. She then flipped it over and instantly recognized her husband's meticulous handwriting:

"For when you are ready."