All Comments on 'Casserole Gave Her Away'

Not bad but the crux of this story should have been how she had allowed herself to be seduced. Was it over a long period? Did they bump into each other and he charmed his way into her bed? Was their marriage already on the way out? Surely anyone would want to know why their wife cheated? Still a 3 from me.

Too silly and cheap a story. Why would wife cheat with a jerk with average cock, and who could not even be trusted to be discreet? Also the rebound is just too contrived and easy -- life is not like that. Author put no effort into this story and wasted readers' time.

an ok story line, but no development at all. characters need to be fleshed out as well as the story itself. there is no build up for it at all. 3* for me.

Clunky narrative and a plot that was moved along too swiftly took away from a decent underlying story. Slow down and work on your craft. 3*

Painfully puerile, I'm afraid, so barely rating a 2 in it's current juvenile form! Good enthusiasm, but the writer's obvious E2L handicap does make it hard work to follow, and therefore I think perhaps finding a native English speaker to edit it before submission could be of considerable benefit to the Author, and empower a far wider audience to happily follow his stories. His writing not totally without merit, just in need of a little more adult, and mature orientation (less `poo/bum/willy/cunt/cunt/cunt' over-riding preoccupation) thus making them a lot easier for far more readers to enjoy, which should help everyone!

I understand that a number of volunteer editors or reviewers are available through the auspices of this good site, and would urge "ghost_reader" to take advantage of this free service, in order to hone his raw talent, and polish his writings up a little, and make them more credible to the mature mind, instead of just playing to frenetic raging adolescent hormones.

If he has any further difficulty with this, he can write to me.

RS.

A bit light on the storyline. Dialog appears quite sophomoric.

This reads like a low effort slam together story.

Nice

5 stars

three star story, but you lost a star for the payback tag as there was ZERO payback to anyone

"It was hard to believe how good looking a 27 year old woman can be naked." Really? Having had the pleasure of seeing a number of women that age naked, I for one have no trouble whatsoever believing it. Is 27 really considered old now? If it is, somebody stop the world because I need to get off it!

One of the most important ingredients of a LW drama is the confrontation between the cheating wife and her wronged husband, the excuses, the justifications, all the BS, so it was disappointing that the MC shut the cheater down when she tried to tell her side of the story. I'd have been fascinated to hear her explanation not only for her cheating but also for doing so with a dickhead who couldn't be trusted to keep his mouth shut about it and who she must have known hated her husband as much as husband hated the dickhead. Still, a solid four.

Great! I really like big and fleshy outer labia. It is a pity that it is possible to learn about this physiological feature of the structure of the female body in advance only in rare cases or under certain circumstances, and even then it is only a barely discernible touch or hint (a swimsuit / bikini, yoga pants / sports shorts, a skirt pulled up to the very top of the hips or the hem of a light dress is lifted by a gust of wind.) Such piquancy is impossible to assess at first glance, as easily as big tits or protruding bulges in men's trousers. Experts have to look for such tidbits by trial and error.

I would not be that composed.

Hmm, why do I feel like I've read that a one or one-hundred times before...

Glad to read a story about a guy with balls, but it was a bit rushed. Thanks for the effort.

Wow - absolutely NO emotional reaction to the discovery of a cheating wife and the subsequent divorce. NO discussions, NO attempts to reconcile, NO BTB, and a completely unearned rebound. This story reads as though it were imagined by a 12 year old. What a waste.

5 stars. Short and choppy writing. Could have expanded parts of it to better explain the characters behavior better. Still, with my active imagination the story made sense.

Had possibilities but you missed almost all of them.

Not enough interaction with the wife. That by itself cost a star.

.

3 ***

I raise my glass of Scots to compliment you on writing a very average story.

A good story, not great but good. You could have expanded some areas better, but hey, your story to write and share so thank you for that.

Words escape me.

The other comments pretty much explain the issues. You could use and profit from an editor. Also as an aside, I would say that a casserole in and of itself is not so unique as to be a smoking gun. But had Andy mentioned that the casserole had a special ingredient, something that Greg knew only his Italian wife made from her old family recipe. Then that, plus finding the same half eaten casserole when he got home, would have been a smoking gun with a red hot barrel. I didn't see this as a 'cuck' story because Greg didn't allow Andy or his faithless wife to make him one AND it wasn't presented as one from the start. That was a plus in your favor.

Why the fuck be polite to her? Just say "I traded up" and go...

Divorce seemed to happen awfully fast. He was fucking Jenny in just two(?) weeks, and just a few weeks later he was divorced?

"glass of Scots?" Holy Fuck.

It would have been nice to have some back story to how wife ended up sexing Andy.

anon.1

An enjoyable tale that would be better if it was fleshed out a bit more and polished up.

And the wife's name is...?

Thanks for all the comments. To me, these are just some light entertainment and if I'm perfectly honest I'm not trying to create some sort of great art. I'm going after short stories which can be read in a relatively short time.

But I do get what the commentators are saying here. I just think there is room for simplified short stories with explicit, straightforward, and yes juvenile descriptions of sex. Like a cartoon that does not compete with real movies but is still lots of fun. Or something like that. Using an editor would definitely help these a lot - maybe I will try it later.

A good read, I enjoyed it although it could use some work you still get five stars .

God all mighty help us. This is the best story in LW in the last two days. WTH ???

Why did his wife cheat? More of an outline than a story.

He sure didn’t seem to care much about the end of his marriage. I don’t think I found that quite believable.

So his wife just all of a sudden lost her morals with no warning? What's up with that? It makes no sense for her to have sex with Andy from the story. It was a pretty good idea, just needed some gaping holes filled in.

Ho Hum. Same ole.

Meh.

Good story, you have a lot of potential for sure.

By not dealving into the MC relationship with his wife after discovery of her infidelity, an opportunity was missed to build tension for the MC. It read like he just cruised through without any challenges.

Actually started with great promise then went all one way down the Andy spout such a shame.

Felt like an under fed pet; nice to hold but not enough meat on its bones.

Okay. D

The premise of the story was good, but you kept lightly waltzing around the edges of what should have been happening. It needed more Jenny!

I liked it.

There were some LW parts dropped here.

I liked that.

It's refreshing seeing plots outside

the usual formula.

I don't miss the drama, her reasons or build-ups.

But I do miss background and a wider plot.

I liked the MC denying her explanations.

A slut's reasons for cheating

are just excuses to others.

4 out of 5 from me.

It seems to me that Greg was actually upset not because Andy fucked his wife, but because the asshole ate half of his favorite casserole. Pussy is nothing, grub is everything!

Anonymous wrote, "It seems to me that Greg was actually upset ......."

This was a funny comment. I did not consider it to be so but now that you mentioned it I can't stop thinking that it could be true.

One interesting part: The ex-wife doesn’t have a name, as if she isn’t decent enough to deserve one.

I mean all his X had to do was keep strange cock out of her. Or alternatively in this case casserole out of her lover.

Nice plot you write as maybe English isn't your first language, but it held together well.

Funny I usually give Four stars and the occasional five, but I have run into so many Three star, Average tales lately.

JPB